Second Chances
by TamSibling
Summary: Sequel to Best Intentions. Simon and Kaylee have settled on Sihnon for the time-being while the rest of the crew and their new mechanic Rafe, head back out into the 'verse. Simon:Kaylee, Mal:Inara
1. Chapter 1

**Second Chances**

Sequel to _Best Intentions_

This story takes place approximately 6 months after the events of Best Intentions. Just to give everyone a quick overview Simon and Kaylee have settled for the time-being on Sihnon, while the rest of the crew, and their new mechanic, Rafe, make their way in the 'verse. Simon and Kaylee are engaged.

As with most of my stuff, this story will heavily focus on Simon/Kaylee and Mal/Inara. I wouldn't say it's imperative to read Best Intentions first, but I think doing so would curtail a lot of hand scratching and "Huh?"s.

Many, many thanks to Leiasky who guided me through this story and offered much needed insight and, of course, great beta-ing skills and to Kaynara for helping to round it out and giving it another look.

This story is 24 chapters and a short epilogue, and is the 2nd installment in a trilogy that will be concluded by Unforeseen Consequences. I am still writing the 3rd part, but I predict it will be about 20 chapters. So, strap yourselves in for some angst, some smut and a whole lot of our beloved BDHs!

And please don't make me beg for comments … please?

Okay, I'm done begging now.

xoxoxoxoxo

Chapter 1

"You ain't serious."

Simon paused in his shaving and stepped out of the bathroom, cocking an eyebrow at her. "Don't I look serious?"

Kaylee's incredulous expression turned to one of complete shock as she watched him return to the sink, his back once again facing her. "Simon, they're yer folks."

With a small sigh, Simon held his tongue, guessing that any answer he might give his beautiful fiancée at the moment would not only be misconstrued, but unwelcome. Finishing as quickly as he could without nicking his skin, Simon finally wiped the excess cream from his face and walked back into the bedroom, sitting beside Kaylee on the bed. Lying before her were papers and pictures of just about every possible wedding detail one could imagine.

Greeting her bewildered expression with his famous grin, Simon said, "Kaylee, I know how important family is to you, but for me, it's just not the same." Cupping her cheek in his hand as she struggled to form a retort, he added, "I honestly only care if River and the rest of the crew are there. I don't need my parents at our wedding."

"Simon, it ain't exactly 'bout needin' 'em," Kaylee scolded, her eyes growing steely and forcing Simon to drop his hand back in his lap. "They're your parents an' it jus' wouldn't be right for them to be missin'."

Simon knew deep down she was right. Regardless of the rocky road he'd had with his folks, the idea of purposefully excluding them from his wedding was inexcusable, and Simon was ashamed he was even trying. Of course that shame turned into unabashed embarrassment as soon as he met Kaylee's critical gaze. Sighing heavily, he explained quietly, "I just don't – " Pausing for a moment, his gaze swept over all the plans Kaylee had made so far, more than amazed at how well she'd taken to the role of wedding coordinator. Holding up the seating chart, Simon turned back to her and said, "I just don't want them to ruin anything. You've worked so hard. And this day shouldn't be about anything other than you and me and our love for one another."

Smiling sweetly, Kaylee met his gaze and plucked the paper from his hand before kissing him softly. "First off, you really think I'm gonna let somebody else tell me what to do at my own weddin'?" Simon smiled wider at this remark, knowing full well that Kaylee had grown quite a bit in their past few months on Sihnon. She'd actually managed to adapt to their new lifestyle very well.

"And second," she continued, shifting to face him fully. "All o' this," she commented, waving to the plans about her, "ain't near as important as you an' me. Yeah, I'll admit it's fun. I never thought in my wildest dreams I'd have a weddin' so fancy, but I'd get married on Serenity if I thought any o' this goushi was gonna get in the way of us gettin' hitched." Leaning in to kiss him again, a bit more intently this time, Kaylee waited until she rested her forehead against his before murmuring, "I jus' wanna be your wife."

Running his hand down her cheek, Simon told her, "That's what I want too, Kaylee. Please understand I'm just worried that my parents, they won't concern themselves with how we want to do things. My mother is notorious for sweeping in and rearranging everything. If we invite them, they're going to pay for the rehearsal dinner, which means they'll get to be in charge of it, which means –"

The rest of Simon's diatribe was cut off by another heart-stopping kiss. Wrapping her arms securely around his neck, Kaylee pulled her body flush with his, doing her best to drive any other thought from his mind that didn't involve her, him and the bed they were sitting on. Simon's strong hands encircled her back, holding her tight to him as his passion for her quickly became his undoing.

Resisting the urge to make love to her, knowing he did not have the time to do it properly, Simon pulled his mouth from hers with difficulty. "Kaylee, I have to go," Simon panted slightly, moaning softly as Kaylee's mouth and tongue lapped at his ear.

"Not for 'nother twenty minutes," she whispered coyly, perfectly aware of the effect she was having on him. Sometimes it was almost too easy.

Releasing another sigh, Simon decided to let go of his last bastion of sense and eagerly guided her hungry mouth to his, crushing his lips against hers. This really wasn't the time, and they still had to make a decision about –

Any other thought quickly escaped Simon as Kaylee firmly planted herself in his lap and wiggled, causing his arousal to throb painfully. Maybe the rest of it could wait.

xoxoxoxoxo

Eli watched with a bemused expression as Simon practically skidded into the doctor's lounge, his normally pale cheeks flushed a deep shade of crimson, his hair a mess. Pretending to study the chart in his hands, Eli observed the young man from the corner of his eye as he hurried to his locker and rushed to dump his bag, reaching for his jacket and stethoscope.

Having a fairly good idea what had made his normally punctual friend late, Eli decided to have a bit of fun. "Doctor Tam," he hailed from across the room, snapping closed the chart in his hand and striding towards Simon.

"Doctor Butler," Simon replied, still a bit breathless as he hurriedly straightened the collar of his coat.

Giving the man an appraising eye, Eli teased, "It's nice of you to join us today."

If it were possible, Simon's cheeks actual flushed darker. "Yes, well, I … ah …" Stuttering and grasping for an appropriate excuse, Simon completely missed the playful twinkle in his friend's eye. "Kaylee and I had … very important … wedding stuff. The seating chart," Simon said triumphantly, glad that his sex-addled brain had given him one useful piece of information. Looking to Eli, he added, "She had a question."

Holding his tongue for a second, Eli let out a small sigh and then said, "Yes, seating chart. I'm sure you were very distracted by her – seat." At his tone, Simon finally focused on the older man and realized the jig was up. Averting his gaze again, Simon waited as Eli let out a deep chuckle, a jovial sound that drew the attention of the other doctors in the room, before clapping Simon on the back and telling him, "I'd check those buttons, son."

Glancing to his shirtfront, Simon hurriedly rebuttoned the first few, following Eli out the door as they were about to start rounds. "I'm sorry, Eli," Simon told him sincerely as they made their way to the nurse's station.

Waving off the apology, the older man told him, "Don't be. If I had a woman like that waiting for me, I'd be late every damn day." Simon blushed dutifully and then Eli continued, "Although I cannot for the life of me figure out why I'm bothering to give you time off for a honeymoon."

Reaching for his stack of charts, Simon did not comment, knowing that any statement would be useless. Eli enjoyed a good tease, especially one at Simon's expense. Which the young doctor really didn't mind. "Well, if you want to revoke my vacation time, you have to tell Kaylee."

Holding up a hand in defense, Eli begged, "Oh no, please. You know I can't deny that young lady anything."

"You and me both," Simon murmured, drawing another small chuckle from Eli. As the two men made their way towards their first patient, Eli asked him, "So, in all seriousness, how are the wedding plans coming?"

The slight pause Simon gave him told Eli all he needed to know. "That well, huh?" he asked rhetorically, not at all surprised when Simon scrambled to explain his hesitancy.

"Actually, from what I can tell, Kaylee has everything under control." Entering a lift, the doors closed before Simon told his friend, "We just had a minor disagreement regarding the guest list."

"Let me guess. She wants to invite an ex and you feel threatened?"

Smirking at the older man, Simon commented dryly, "Not quite." Watching the floors ding by on the lift's control panel, the younger man finally admitted, "It's actually about my parents."

Eli gave Simon a sidelong glance, noting the way the young doctor's shoulders had tensed at just the mention of the topic. He knew full well that Simon and his folks had never quite seen eye to eye and while Eli and his family had gotten to know Simon and Kaylee quite well over the past six months or so, that particular back story was still something Eli was not entirely privy to. "You're actually considering not inviting them?" he asked quietly, doing his best to keep any tone of judgment out of his voice.

Frowning, Simon released a heavy sigh and then answered, "I know it's awful. But I don't want any of the history between us to overshadow Kaylee's day." Turning imploring eyes to the man, he said softly, "She's so excited."

"But she's not quite convinced that excluding them is the best idea?"

Shaking his head once, Simon answered, "No. In fact I'm fairly certain she thinks I'm an idiot for even considering it." As the lift doors again opened and they stepped out, Simon took only a few paces forward before pausing. Turning to face his friend, he told him honestly, "I know you don't understand everything about my relationship with my parents. And I can imagine that as a father this is pretty much the worse thing you can imagine, but …" Unable to finish the thought, Simon simply shrugged, his eyes alighting to Eli's face for only a second, as if afraid of what he'd see reflected in the older man's eyes at his confession.

Turning to go, Simon stopped as Eli's large hand clamped around his elbow. "Look, son, you're right. I don't know all of what happened between you and your folks, but I do feel that I know you and Kaylee pretty well." Pausing, Eli waited long enough for Simon to glance at him before he continued. "If you honestly think your parents are going to do more harm than good, then by all means don't invite them. But keep in mind, excluding them is going to send a very finite message that you don't want to include them in any part of your life." As Simon gulped, his face blanching slightly at the older man's words, Eli added, "And how are you going to feel about that a year from now or five or ten? How are you going to feel about that when your children ask about their grandparents?"

Studying the younger man for a few more minutes, Eli watched the wheels in Simon's overly bright brain turn as he processed all he'd said. He was a smart boy and incredibly loving, Eli had figured that out as he'd watched Simon hover at Kaylee's bedside the entire time she'd been in the hospital. And while he didn't want to manipulate Simon into making a decision he was unprepared to face, Eli also knew that the man's big heart would eventually win out.

"Just think on that for a bit, all right?" Eli asked, clapping Simon on the shoulder. As his friend nodded, Eli turned to enter the first patient's room and said, "All right then, let's get to work."

xoxoxoxoxo

"Miss Kaylee!"

Kaylee glanced up from her laundry to be greeted by a familiar face. Putting down her folding, Kaylee stooped to the ground and swept up the small, curly-haired girl as she charged towards her. Bouncing the little one on her hip, Kaylee kissed her cheek and asked, "An' what are you up to today, Miss Lynn?"

"Playin'," the four-year-old exclaimed happily, clapping her hands together delightedly.

Kaylee giggled along with her, moving with the little girl into the orphanage's main living room. As she settled the child to the floor, and moved to sit beside her, Kaylee paused, hearing a pained cry from across the room. Hurrying to the opposite wall, she joined one of the other volunteers who was hovering over a small boy, Asher, as he held his arm and wailed.

"What happened?" Kaylee asked quickly, moving to pull the crying child into her arms while being mindful of his injury.

"I don't know. He was playing with Tommy and then-" Helen, the other volunteer had been working at the orphanage longer than Kaylee, but was decidedly nervous around children. It still baffled the other woman that she would choose to spend her time in an environment that so readily set her on edge.

Knowing she wouldn't get any more information out of the adult, Kaylee looked down into Asher's pained face, and asked, "What s'matter, baby? Where'd ya get hurt?"

"Here," the boy hiccupped, doing his best to point at his wrist with his opposite hand.

"Can I see your arm for a sec?" Kaylee asked carefully, repositioning the boy in her lap so she could reach for his hand.

Clutching the hurt limb to his chest, Asher turned large, brown eyes to her and shook his head fearfully. "It hurts," he wailed, more tears welling at the bottom of his eyes and falling down his face.

"I know it does, sweetie, but that's why I gotta see." Kaylee kept her voice low and soothing, wishing there was a way she could ease the boy's pain. But until she knew if the arm was broken, he was just going to have to trust her. "I gotta see if maybe we need to take you to Doctor Simon."

Sniffling, Asher's eyes actually lit up at the thought. All of the children in the orphanage had met Simon on at least one occasion. Kaylee had offered his services as soon as she'd begun volunteering, and the director of the children's home had eagerly agreed. Simon had made a few visits over the past months to check in on each of the little ones and normally, if one of them needed to go to the hospital, Kaylee would take the child, making sure to contact Simon while she was there. If he was free, he almost always came down to ease the child's anxiety. It really helped them to see a friendly face.

"Really?" the little boy breathed, wiping at his runny nose with his other hand. "Doctor Simon?"

"Well, your arm might be broke, so I might need to take you to the hospital," Kaylee explained. "But I won't know 'till you let me see it."

Swallowing hard, Asher relinquished his arm to Kaylee's gentle touch. Holding it gingerly, she tried to move his wrist, stopping as he hissed in pain and again started to cry. "You're a good boy," she told him, pressing a kiss to his hair. "An' I think maybe we will pay Doctor Simon a visit. Okay?"

Shaking his head once, Asher rolled his tear-stained cheek into Kaylee's shoulder and she easily hefted him into her arms. "Do you want me to go with you?" Helen asked fearfully, trying to aid Kaylee as she got to her feet, but only succeeding in hovering.

Smiling brightly to the woman, Kaylee told her, "Nope, I got this. Hospital ain't more than two blocks away. Why don't you stay an' help with the others?"

Leaving the shell-shocked woman behind, Kaylee cradled the still whimpering boy to her and said, "C'mon sweetie. Let's go get that arm fixed up."

xoxoxoxoxo

Serenity loomed in the distance like the brightest beacon and Mal felt a contented smile cross his face as he took in the sight of his ship. His ship, his home – it was more than just a place he lived. For Malcolm Reynolds, having the freedom of that firefly, having the ability to keep all those he held dear so close was a luxury and one he indulged in everyday.

Sure, the ship had been a mite quiet since they'd left the doc and Kaylee on Sihnon, but Rafe had been doing a fine job keepin' 'em in the sky an' Mal was glad for that. He missed lil' Kaylee – she'd always been more to him than a mechanic, but every time they waved to talk with her, she was more giddy than the time before. And Mal could handle her being gone if that was the result.

Glancing to River, he watched as the young reader effortlessly glided the mule over the uneven terrain. Of course, River had been even more distraught upon leaving her brother behind, but it seemed that young love was a powerful distraction and while Mal was not happy at catching his pilot and his new mechanic in all manner of compromising positions over the past months, he also could not deny how happy the young woman was either.

Happiness – on his boat. Who'd o' thought it?

"Not so hard to believe, captain daddy," River sing-songed to him over the roar of the wind.

Smirking at her, Mal answered, "Trust me, darlin', it is."

She smiled back at him, but kept her silence, allowing the rest of the ride to pass without further comment. As she pulled the mule into the waiting cargo bay, Mal noted Rafe standing towards the back of the room, moving forward as soon as River started to cycle down the vehicle. Just as Mal himself was hoisting his old frame over the side and to the deck, he glimpsed Rafe offering River a hand as she gracefully alighted to the bay floor.

Averting his gaze so as to miss the kissin', Mal headed for the nearest set of stairs, calling over his shoulder, "Rafe, you seen 'Nara?"

It took the boy a moment, but he finally pried his lips from River's and answered, "In your shuttle, cap."

Grunting his acknowledgement, Mal waited until he'd reach the shuttle's entrance before risking another glance below. Watching as River attempted to suck the young man's face off, he felt his stomach turn and hurried inside.

"Darlin', your disreputable captain has returned," he called out jovially as he entered the shuttle.

Turning quickly from her seat in front of the cortex, Inara dropped the fabric back in front of the screen and greeted him. "Oh, how did I ever survive without you?" she asked dryly, offering him a playful smirk as she rose and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Good crime?" she asked, walking behind him to remove his signature brown coat.

"Not bad, not bad," Mal concurred. As he shrugged out of the leather, he glanced back to Inara, noting the intrigue with which she was draping the coat over her arm. Looking back to the now covered screen, he asked, "Did I interrupt somethin'?"

"What?" Inara asked distractedly, pulling her gaze from the collar she'd been smoothing. As she met Mal's critical look, she shook her head and moved to hang up the jacket. "No, of course not. Don't be ridiculous."

As she turned away from him to hang the coat, Mal decided to do some investigating. Making his way to the viewscreen, he lifted the curtain before it, frowning as he took in the information still displayed there.

"Listen, Mal, I was going over the finances today and-" Inara's sentence stopped midway as she caught him studying the screen. Moving quickly to his side, she dropped the fabric back into place and asked harshly, "What are you doing?"

Turning an incredulous gaze to her, Mal shot back, "What're you doin'?" Jerking a thumb towards the covered wall, he added, "I thought we agreed, you were gonna let that go."

"You agreed, Mal," Inara told him, her eyes glinting with a familiar fire in the shuttle's dim lighting.

"No, no, no," Mal told her, rising and pacing away from her. Gesturing to the room, he said, "I distinctly remember the two o' us bein' in this very space, talkin' 'bout that little one an' decidin', together, that you was gonna let her live her life in peace."

Inara quickly dropped her gaze to the floor, hoping Mal would not notice how her cheeks flushed. He was right, which was what irked her more, she had agreed with Mal that her long lost daughter, the one she had found on Sihnon, was better off not knowing about her. The girl was ten now and had a wonderful life with good parents and siblings … she had no use nor need for a biological mother. But Inara deeply desired to know her.

"She wouldn't have to know who I am," Inara said quietly, realizing how foolish she must sound. "I could just meet her, maybe talk with her a bit."

Sighing heavily, Mal closed his eyes for a moment, wishing he knew of a way to take Inara's grief away. He had really hoped that as the weeks and months passed, as they had again been out in the black, that Inara would stop obsessing over the baby she'd been forced to give up. He had honestly thought she had a month ago when they'd had a very long, at times not quite civil conservation, regarding the kid and how much damage it could do her to know Inara now. Apparently he'd been wrong.

"Inara, you know I hate seein' ya like this, but-"

"Don't patronize me, Mal," she bit out, her voice cold and unyielding. "You have no idea what it's like to know you have a child, a child you would have raised and loved and cared for, out in the 'verse who has no idea who you are."

"'Nara, you go chargin' into that girl's life, she ain't gonna want to know who you are," Mal retaliated, not at all surprised by the flash of hurt that passed across Inara's face before her mask of anger replaced it. "'Nara, she's got a life, her own life, without you. An' I know that wasn't rightly your choice all them years ago, but you gotta live with it now. For her sake."

Inara pursed her lips and Mal braced himself for the argument he knew was coming. But with a small sigh and shake of her head, Inara simply strode past him and out the shuttle door, leaving Mal to wonder just what exactly had happened.

xoxoxoxoxo

"Doctor Simon!"

Asher's small face broke into the biggest grin as Simon stepped around the curtain and into the boy's line of sight. Smiling back at him, Simon's eyes met Kaylee's over the little guy's head as he asked the patient, "So, you broke your arm, huh?"

Nodding once, Asher told him, "Yup. They said I gotta get a cast." Glancing back to Kaylee, who had continued to run her fingers through the boy's mop of curly black hair, he asked innocently, "Can I get a blue one?"

Smiling to the boy, Kaylee told him, "I think that can be arranged. Can't it, doc?" Her eyes flashed with a familiar light that caused Simon's heart to skip a beat and he found himself staring for a second before he remembered she'd asked him a question. Pulling his eyes from her face, he looked back to Asher and told him, "Absolutely. One blue cast, coming up."

A nurse arrived at that moment to help prep the boy's arm and so Kaylee moved with Simon around the curtain as he went to collect the materials. Kissing her quickly, he asked, "Are you okay?"

Scowling slightly, Kaylee nodded and then told him, "Helen is useless at watchin' kids. I can't for the life o' me figure out why Tabby an' Sandra keep her around."

Smiling slightly at Kaylee's annoyance, Simon squeezed her hand gently and said, "Kaylee, Helen may not be that good with kids, but her husband is one of the richest men on Sihnon."

With a small harrumph, Kaylee told him, "Well good. He can pay for Asher's cast then."

Chuckling softly, Simon kissed her cheek and said, "You are a wonder, Kaylee Frye."

"Darn right," she told him playfully, moving back towards Asher. "An' don't you forget it."

Kaylee flashed Simon another big smile before stepping behind the curtain and resuming her seat at Asher's side. The little boy was intently watching the nurse as she straightened his wrist and cleaned it. Luckily, the pain medication they'd administered had taken the discomfort away.

"Miss Kaylee?" Asher asked, looking back to her with a youthful innocence that endeared him to Kaylee's heart. "Why ain't you a mama?"

"Why aren't I a mother?" Kaylee corrected, almost glossing over the question until she realized just what the boy was asking. Blinking quickly, she asked, "What, sweetie?"

Frowning at her, the little boy said, "I don't understand. You'd be a great mama. An' you an' doctor Simon love each other. So why don'tcha got any kids?"

Kaylee stared at him for moment, completely dumbfounded. When Simon returned just a minute later, Kaylee was still speechless and Simon glanced quickly to the nurse, who pretended not to have heard and left him to his work. "Kaylee?" he questioned softly as he began wrapping Asher's arm in a layer of gauze. "Everything all right?"

"Why ain't you an' Miss Kaylee got any kids?" Asher asked, this time directing the question to Simon and hoping to get an answer.

"Ah …" Simon found he had no answer and felt his heart drop to his feet as he quickly glanced to Kaylee. He could see the pale look on her face and could only guess at what she was thinking.

"Don'tcha want kids?" Asher, oblivious as only a child can be, kept pushing, wishing someone would tell him something. "You could always adopt me. I'd be real good," he told Simon proudly, a big smile again on his face.

Rising abruptly, Kaylee drew both the attention of both men. "Um, I … I'll go getcha some water. 'Kay, Ash?" Before the boy could answer, she'd bolted from the room. Simon watched her go with a forlorn expression, but knew he couldn't follow her, not until Asher's arm was taken care of.

"Did I say somethin' bad?" the boy asked sheepishly, finally guessing that maybe his topic of discussion hadn't been the best idea. "You don't gotta adopt me, if'n you don't wanna," he added, his voice growing softer with each word, his eyes cast into his lap.

Pausing in his work, Simon sat beside the boy and raised his chin so they could lock eyes. "Asher, I want you to listen to me, all right?" Once the boy had nodded, Simon continued, "Miss Kaylee and I do want to have children, and we would be lucky to adopt a little boy like you." As Asher's lips again turned up into a smile, Simon added, "But right now, Kaylee and I, we're getting ready to be married and we're just not ready for children yet."

With a small frown, Asher sighed. "Okay." Looking back to Simon, he said proudly, "When the time is right, I'll get a mom and dad. Won't I, Doctor Simon?"

Smiling at him, Simon knew that was the mantra they repeated over and over again at the orphanage so the children wouldn't get discouraged. But Simon also believed that everything happened for a reason and that someday a loving family would realize what a wonderful addition Asher would make to their home. "Yes, you will, Asher. But in the meantime, you've got to be careful, dong ma?" Simon rose, and continued to work, glancing up every few minutes hoping that Kaylee might return.

Even once he'd finished wrapping the boy's arm, she was still not back.

xoxoxoxoxo


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

xoxoxoxoxo

Eli rounded the corner into the ER, hoping to track down the wayward Doctor Tam, and found Kaylee instead, pacing the length of the small waiting room, her hands clenched tightly before her.

Pausing for a moment to regard the young woman who he very much considered a daughter, Eli put one of his biggest grins on his face and said, "Kaylee, my dear. Whatever are you doing here?"

Turning at the sound of her name, Kaylee gave him a nervous smile, before meeting the older doctor halfway and embracing him. Stepping back she answered, "Oh, one of the lil' ones had a fall. Needed to bring him for a cast."

"Ah, so that's where Simon went in such a hurry?" Eli's eyes held their requisite twinkle of good humor. "I should have guessed you were involved. The boy never moves that fast for me." As Kaylee smiled a bit more widely and a bit more genuinely at this comment, Eli took her hands in his and asked, "So, is everything else all right?"

The wide-eyed look that flashed across Kaylee's face lasted for only a second, but Eli caught it. The girl was far too cheerful, Eli and his family had long ago determined that. But her good nature was also contagious and given the alternative, Eli would rather spend all his days with a bright light like Kaylee than a sour puss. But her behavior now, nervous and edgy was quite unlike her and Eli, concerned as a friend and physician, was determined to discover its cause.

Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, he guided her to a nearby chair and teased lightly, "I know. You've finally decided to leave Simon for a somewhat older and far wiser man."

Kaylee laughed outright at the statement, playfully swatting at his arm. "I'm gonna tell Evelyn you said that."

Holding up his hands in defense, Eli begged, "Oh no, please. That woman already thinks I'm crazy as a loon."

Giggling again, Kaylee tried to forget the reason she'd so readily fled the other room, and found her heart fluttering again. Her face blanched slightly and Eli noticed. "Come on now, Kaylee. Why don't you tell me all about it?"

Swallowing hard, Kaylee glanced to the older man. He had become a close friend to her and Simon both over the past few months they'd been on Sihnon. Even his family, his wife Evelyn and their daughters, Jenna and Rachel, considered Simon and Kaylee adoptive children and siblings and it had done Kaylee a world of good to meet and know people from this high society who did not pass judgment on her or her rim world ways. They were good people and she trusted them.

Which was probably what loosed her tongue. "Doc, I gotta ask you somethin' an' you gotta tell me straight," she finally said, shifting to face him. Once he'd nodded, she continued, "I know you told me an' Simon that the accident didn't leave any lastin' effects. But …" Thinking back to the disappointment she'd felt just that morning at another negative test result, she blurted, "We ain't pregnant yet an' I'm tired o' waitin'."

With a sympathetic smile, Eli clasped his hands over Kaylee's and tried to ease her fear. "Kaylee, sweetheart, it's going to take some time. Pregnancy is not magic, we can't wish a new life into existence." As the young woman opened her month to protest, Eli continued. "I can promise you that based on your medical records there is no physical reason that you can't conceive."

"But what if you all missed somethin'?" Kaylee asked, her tone hushed as the horror of the question hit home. "What if I really can't have a baby?"

Squeezing her hands gently, the older man tried to reassure her. "I'm sure that Doctor Chen would be more than happy to run some more tests, make sure that everything's all right. But I really don't think you should be concerned, Kaylee. Things have been a bit stressful for both you and Simon over the past few months. And now with the wedding-"

"Oh yeah, it's real distractin' plannin' a big party," Kaylee muttered snidely, the tone of her voice surprising the doctor.

"You'd be surprised how sometimes everyday things can affect us," he confided, dipping his head to hers and kissing her quickly on the cheek. "Before you leave the hospital today why don't you stop by and make an appointment with Doctor Chen?"

Reluctantly, Kaylee nodded, her stomach still churning uncomfortably with the uncertainty of it all. She so desperately wanted to carry Simon's child that every negative test result sent new wellsprings of sadness inside her. She had not stopped praying since she'd found out about the miscarriage that the doctors were right; that she could still conceive and have a child.

"That's a good girl," Eli said softly, dropping a kiss into her hair as he stood. "Now, I have to find that no good fiancé of yours. He has this thing called work. It's a concept I think I'm going to have to reacquaint him with."

"Ah, don't be too hard on 'im, doc," Kaylee said playfully, rising as well to head back to Asher. "He's havin' a bit of a hard time with the weddin'. His folks an' all."

"So he said," Eli commented. "Try to let him work out on his own. You know Simon will make the right decision."

Smiling wide, Kaylee agreed. "He always does." Turning to enter the room, a final thought struck her. "Listen Eli, please don't tell Simon 'bout this. He's stressed enough an' I just-"

Resting a gentle hand to her shoulder, Eli smiled again, his eyes still twinkling. "You have my word, Kaylee. But try not to worry, I was serious about that."

With another beatific smile, Kaylee nodded, wishing she could just get pregnant and end all of this anxiety for good.

xoxoxoxoxo

River was on the bridge – as she usually was at this time of night. Mal grimaced involuntarily at seeing her there. Despite the fact that she was always present, he had really hoped tonight he could brood in peace.

"Don't make faces."

His grimace deepening, Mal stepped into the cockpit, knowing full well that attempting to hide from his resident reader was just plain stupid. "Shouldn't you be in bed, lil' one?"

Wrinkling her nose in a look of cute disgust, she swiveled her chair to face him and stated, "Rafe snores."

His face blanched and Mal reached out a hand to steady himself, doing his best not to faint dead away. He had known that his mechanic and his pilot were more than friends, but sharing the same bunk was a new development. "Maybe you should jus' keep those kinds of revelations to yourself, dong ma?" Hardening his look just a bit, Mal added, "Especially 'round your brother."

With a small sigh, River turned back to regard the stars, pulling her knees up to her chest and resting her head on them. "Not what you think, but I'll try to prevent Simon from having a heart attack." Regarding him with soulful eyes as he sat in the co-pilot's seat, she added earnestly, "Kaylee would kill me."

Chuckling softly, Mal had a quick mental flash of Kaylee chasing after River with a torque wrench. Shaking the image away, he rested his eyes on the stars visible through the canopy and allowed silence to envelope the cockpit. He wished he could crawl into bed, wrap his arms around Inara's warm, soft form and fall asleep with his head buried in her sweet-smelling hair. But since their argument over a week ago regarding her long lost daughter he had not been back to, nor welcome in, the shuttle. And it was slowly starting to really annoy him.

"It would help if you could try and understand," River said softly, never moving her gaze from the stars. "She's only trying to heal. She can't let it go because it's breaking her heart."

Mal's jaw set, his lips pressed into a firm line at River's observation. He had guessed a good portion of Inara's motivation stemmed from the fact that she was hurting. Of course, why she couldn't just tell him that was still a mystery. But regardless of her reasons Mal knew, in a dozen different ways, that her search was a bad idea. No matter what Inara felt for the daughter she'd never known, seeking out the child now, ten years after the fact would only cause more pain, all the way around. And as much as he wanted to spare Inara from that, there was literally nothing he could do.

"I do understand, River," he admitted softly, dropping his gaze to study his hands. "But what Inara can't seem to get is that this is only gonna hurt more in the long run. I hate seein' her set herself up for pain. I'm tryin' to protect her."

With a whisper, River stood, kneeling at Mal's side so she could stare up into his eyes. "She doesn't need protection," the young reader whispered. "She needs understanding."

Mal held her gaze for a moment, staring at the space she had occupied long after she'd flitted away. Part of him could get it – the part of him that had died in the Valley understood perfectly well why Inara was struggling to hold on to something she had no right to. But another part of him also understood, from experience that strangling something would only end in heartache. They'd all had enough heartache in Mal's opinion.

"Oh, cap'n."

Mal turned slightly at the sound of Rafe's quiet voice, a bit surprised to see the boy up and about at this time of night. Smiling at the younger man's disheveled appearance, hair askew and t-shirt thrown on hastily over pajama bottoms, Mal asked him, "Somethin' I can do for you, son?"

Shifting his weight from one foot to the other, Rafe swallowed hard, before blurting out, "I was actually lookin' for River. Normally she's up here, this time o' night."

Nodding once, Mal told him, "That she is, but I done chased her off." Swiveling back to face the window, he added, "I figured she'd o' crawled her way in beside ya by now."

Mal could only guess how pale the boy had gone at his comment. Rafe was a good man, young, exceptionally green, but a ruttin' genius with machines, not unlike Kaylee. He was also sweet and loved River somethin' fierce; that had been obvious to Mal the first time she'd come back from a job with a few too many bullet holes not too long after the kid had been on board. His panicked look and constant vigil had spoken volumes to the crew about the depth of his feelings.

Of course, Mal had already given him the hurt-her-and-die speech, but he would take the opportunity to give it again. "Sharin' a bunk, that's a bit rushed, don't ya think?"

"It ain't like that cap'n," Rafe hastened to explain, his mouth suddenly dry. "River an' me … we ain't … I mean, we wanna, but-"

Holding up a hand, Mal turned back to face him. "Easy, son. River told me it ain't like that. But you gotta be careful with her, dong ma?" As Rafe nodded once, Mal felt his expression harden a bit, and a fatherly tone he'd seemed to adopt whenever speaking of the young woman crept into his tone. "She's been through a lot. I don't know how much she's told ya, or how much she'd want you to know, but-"

Taking a step forward, Rafe said, "Mal, I've already told you. I'd kill myself before I hurt her. No matter what she's been through, I am in love with her, I know that."

Smiling softly, Mal nodded once and told him, "Well then, you'd better go find her."

With a small smile, Rafe hurried off, glad to have escaped Mal's scrutiny and overprotectiveness relatively unscathed. The captain watched him go, a knowing smile still gracing his features. He was happy for River, truly, but that happiness would not and did not cloud his judgment when it came to the girl's safety. Despite the fact that she could level a room of Reavers, he would always be looking out for her – protecting her.

Just as he would with Inara, whether she wanted that protection or not.

xoxoxoxoxo

Rafe had checked his bunk, River's bunk, the common room, galley and engine room and still not found her. She was unpredictable, that was the truth. Of course, River's spontaneity and spirit were two of the things he loved most about her. But not when it caused him to be worried.

He knew she was more than capable of taking care of herself and that she often did not sleep through the night. Normally, when she woke in the middle of sleep it was a nightmare that had roused her and with a few gentle kisses and words of comfort, Rafe could soothe her nerves and get her back to sleep. But over the past few weeks, she'd made it a habit to slip out of the bed they were sharing – just sleeping, although the rest of the crew had other ideas – and seek solitude. And it was starting to bother him.

He didn't want to be one of those men who needed reassurance from his girlfriend that everything was all right, but Rafe already knew he wasn't good enough for River. It was his own insecurity that caused him to doubt her love for him. She was special, Mal was right about that. She'd seen and done things he could only dream about and her psychic abilities only made her more precious. Rafe on the other hand was ordinary, normal and he feared that River's absences were just a sign that she had finally figured that out.

With a sigh, he decided to look one last place and headed out to the catwalk overlooking the cargo bay. As he peered over the edge of the railing, he felt his breath hitch in his throat as he took in the sight below.

River was there, visible as she danced among the shadows littering the bay floor. With fluid movements and practiced ease she executed dance step after dance step. Rafe believed it to be ballet – River had told him she'd used to dance, but she had never demonstrated her abilities, no matter how much he begged.

In awe, he stared, mouth agape. He knew she was beautiful, any fool could see that, but watching her now, the diaphanous fabric of her dress swirling about her, her hair following her movements, her arms and legs positioned to perfection, he found her breathtaking.

He was uncertain how long he stood entranced, but he could not move from the spot. He wanted to charge down the stairs and pull her into his arms, kiss her passionately and explain to her, or rather show her, how much he wanted her. But Rafe was not that kind of man; he wanted to make love to her badly, but he knew River wasn't ready and he would never push. Although kissing her senseless at this moment would be a welcome distraction from the other emotions pulsing hot in his blood.

Taking a step towards the stairs, Rafe again froze as he watched River suddenly drop in a heap on the cargo bay floor. His momentary shock gave way to overpowering concern and in seconds he'd sprinted down the stairs and to River's side. He heard the sound of her sobs as he approached and saw her shoulders shaking from her tears. Reaching for her, Rafe tried to pull her into his arms, but moving swiftly, she backed away from him.

Turning a tear-streaked face in his direction, River rasped, "Don't."

"Bao bei, what is it?" he asked, his voice soft as he watched her continue to cry and shake. Reaching out a hand, he wished she would take it. "Let me help."

Shaking her head fiercely River rose on shaky legs and murmured, "You can't. It's not right." Lifting immensely sad eyes to him, she added in a whisper, "I'm not right," before sprinting from the bay and leaving Rafe to stare after her, completely dumbfounded.

xoxoxoxoxo

Kaylee waited to hear the heavy sound of Simon's breathing before she slipped silently out of bed. Grabbing for her robe, she cinched it around her naked form and tiptoed to the bathroom. Shutting the door quietly, she paused for a moment, straining to hear if she'd woken Simon. Satisfied that he was still asleep, no doubt more than tired from their lovemaking, Kaylee crossed the room to her medicine cabinet and knelt before it. Opening the far right door, she reached towards the back, sticking her arm into the small space up to the shoulder so she could reach what she wanted.

Closing her fingers around the small packet, she pulled it back and stood. Opening the plastic as quietly as possible, she took out the small testing device and set to work.

She just knew it would be positive tonight. Despite what Eli had said a little over a week ago, and despite Doctor Chen's reassurances that everything was fine, physically speaking, Kaylee could not sit idly by and just wait for nature to take its course. And, as Simon was not complaining about her overabundant sex drive lately, she was going to keep trying until one of these pregnancy tests gave her the answer she wanted.

Placing the instrument down on the edge of the sink, Kaylee stepped back from it, sitting on the edge of the tub as she waited for the necessary three minutes to tick by. She had to be pregnant – she needed to again have the chance to carry Simon's child, so she could do everything right this time. So she could care for and nurture that tiny life inside her. So she could try and atone for killing their first baby.

Simon had told her it wasn't her fault, that it was an accident and not meant to be, but Kaylee did not believe that. She had been foolish and stupid, running from Simon, not trusting him because of her own insecurities. And that foolishness had cost their child's life. It still amazed her most days that he'd managed to forgive her; Kaylee could not forgive herself. She knew, deep down, she would never get that child back. She knew that that baby, their little girl, was dead. But Kaylee hoped, perhaps foolishly, that if she was the best mother ever to her own children and those at the orphanage that maybe it would ease her guilt. It had to.

Glancing to the chrono on the wall, Kaylee felt the butterflies in her stomach flutter as she realized time was up. Rising slowly, she approached the sink, gazing down at the test and praying. As her big eyes alighted on the slim instrument and she again saw that it was blank, she felt her stomach bottom out. Reaching out a shaky hand to steady herself, she sank slowly onto the toilet, feeling the wetness of tears as they silently made tracks down her cheeks.

Staring at nothing, Kaylee felt the emptiness of another negative result. Maybe she really had forfeited her chance to have children when she'd allowed her first baby to die.

"Kaylee?"

The soft rap on the door and the sound of Simon's sleep slurred voice brought her crashing back to the present. Wiping hurriedly at her face, she took a deep breath and then called, "Yeah, sweetie?"

Frowning at the door, Simon studied the smooth surface, stepping a bit closer. "Are you all right?"

"Shiny," was the muffled reply. "Be out in a sec."

Still frowning, Simon stepped back, moving back to bed and getting under the covers. Propping his pillow up against the headboard, he listened to the sound of running water and a bit of splashing before hearing the door open. In the dim moonlight shining through the curtains he could just make out Kaylee's form as she padded around the edge of the bed and slipped back in beside him, shedding her robe in the process.

With a small sigh, she leaned over and kissed him softly, before rolling onto her side away from him and murmuring, "'Night sweetie."

Knowing now beyond a shadow of a doubt that something was wrong, Simon reached out a hand to her shoulder and asked, "Kaylee, what is it?"

Biting her lip to keep her tears in, Kaylee told him, "Nothin'. Jus' had ta use the bathroom."

Rolling onto his side, he reached his hand to her forehead and asked, "Are you feeling all right?"

"I'm fine, Simon," she sighed in exasperation. Huddling into an even smaller ball, she told him, "Jus' leave it be."

More concern and anxiety churning in his gut, Simon sighed softly and sat back against the headboard, trying to figure out how to get Kaylee to open up. It wasn't normally an issue, she rarely, if ever, hid things from him, especially things that were bothering her.

Deciding there wasn't much he could do tonight, Simon leaned back over and whispered, "Well, good night then," before brushing a kiss to her cheek. As he pulled his lips away, now covered in her tears, Simon's anxiety skyrocketed.

Rolling her onto her back gently, Simon cupped her cheek and asked, "Kaylee, come on, what is it?"

Wiping futilely at her cheeks, Kaylee sighed heavily and stared at the ceiling. "I ain't pregnant," she murmured, her heart beating so heavily in her chest she thought for sure it would fail under the strain.

Furrowing his brow, Simon brushed at her hair and whispered, "Well, that's all right. We've got plenty of time to have children."

"No, Simon, you don't understand," Kaylee retorted, her voice a bit edgy. "I ain't gotten pregnant in the past five months an' we've been more than a little active."

Blushing even in the dark, Simon allowed his confusion to show. "So? Kaylee it'll happen when it's meant to."

"But I want it to happen now," she told him stubbornly. Shifting to sit up, she turned to face him in the dim light and added, "I should be pregnant by now."

"According to who?" Simon questioned, shifting to face her. "There is no hard and fast rule, Kaylee. When it's meant to happen, it will." Hoping to ease her frustration, Simon leaned over to kiss her, more than surprised when she pulled away.

"No it won't. It ain't gonna happen at all."

More than confused and quickly growing concerned, Simon studied her face in the dim light, doing his best to think of the right thing to say. He knew that the memory of their lost child bothered Kaylee. He knew one of the primary reasons she'd decided to volunteer at the orphanage was because she wanted to be a mother. But the defeat in her tone, the look of resignation on her features hurt him. It wasn't like Kaylee to be so depressed and Simon found himself uncertain of how to reassure her.

Reaching for her hand, he squeezed it gently and said, "Kaylee, I've studied all your medical records. There's no reason to believe you can't get pregnant."

"That's what Doctor Chen said too," Kaylee muttered. Taking a deep breath, she glanced back to Simon, glad that the darkness could hide her shame. "So why ain't I pregnant yet?"

Having no answer, Simon decided to try a different argument. "Bao bei, what's the rush?" As Kaylee raised her eyes to his face, he smiled softly and said, "We're not even married yet. Maybe we just need to wait until after the wedding. Once things have settled down again-"

"Don't you get it?" Kaylee's shout startled Simon into silence and he watched as she bolted out of bed, grabbing for her robe and pulling it on. Stabbing her thumb to her chest, she continued angrily, "I ain't gonna get pregnant, Simon, 'cause I don't deserve it. I killed our first baby. I ruined our chance."

Astonished by the vehemence behind her words and the irrationality of the statement, Simon could only stare at her, speechless. His silence was not what Kaylee wanted to hear and so, in a huff, she stormed from the room. He watched her go, still doing his best to collect his thoughts. It was ridiculous for Kaylee to think she was being punished in some cosmic way because of the miscarriage. He had thought she understood that it was an accident, that she was no longer blaming herself, but apparently, he'd been wrong.

Rising quickly, Simon grabbed for his pajama bottoms, hiking them on as he hurried out into the apartment in search of her. As he'd expected, he found her on the patio, staring out at the bright city. Approaching her quietly from behind, Simon reached for her just as he heard a small whimper escape her lips.

Tugging gently on her elbow, Simon pulled her around to face him and held her firmly against his chest, even as she tried to push him back. "Why Simon? I don't understand," she cried quietly, her tears wetting his bare skin as she buried her head against his shoulder. "I never woulda taken such a risk 'fore if'n I'd known I was pregnant. Why can't I have another chance? I wanna another chance."

Pressing kisses into her hair, Simon tightened his hold on her, waiting until her tears had subsided before trying to reason with her. It hurt him, in ways he could never share with Kaylee, when she was sad. It wasn't too unlike how he'd felt just after he'd rescued River from the Academy. There was nothing quite as painful for Simon, the doctor, to watch someone he loved suffer. It just hurt.

"Kaylee, we will have children, I know we will." Simon whispered softly, dropping his mouth closer to her ear so he was sure she'd heard him. "You are not being punished for before. I promise you. You didn't do anything wrong."

"I ran away," she hiccupped, turning her head so her cheek was resting against his skin. "That weren't right."

Leaning back just a bit, Simon placed his hand under her chin and tilted her face up to look at him. "And River went away to school," he countered, searching her big green eyes with his blue. "That doesn't make what happened her fault. Just as running away doesn't make the miscarriage your fault."

Sighing heavily, Kaylee leaned back against him, using his strength to bolster her own flagging spirit. "I'm sorry, Simon," she murmured, her arms tightening around his waist. "I'm so sorry."

With a small sigh, Simon wrapped his arms around her shoulders and back and whispered, "There's nothing to apologize for, Kaylee. I love you."

Sniffling, Kaylee looked up to him and had to smile when he offered her his lopsided grin. "You really do, don'tcha?"

Kissing her lightly, Simon murmured, "Well, I don't go around marrying just anyone."

Returning his kiss, Kaylee sighed heavily and muttered, "Can we go back to bed?"

"Absolutely," Simon told her. Turning to guide her back inside, he paused, thinking better of it. Keeping an arm around her shoulders, he stooped slightly and looped his other arm under her knees. Picking her up and holding her to his chest, Simon smiled slightly as Kaylee let out a small squeal of surprise.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, Kaylee buried her face into his shoulder and whispered, "I love you, Simon."

Brushing a kiss to her forehead, Simon told her, "I love you too, Kaylee." He was not at all surprised that by the time he gently laid her back into bed, she was already asleep.

xoxoxoxoxo


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

xoxoxoxoxo

"Rafe?"

Zoe descended into the engine room, scanning the small space for the young man. It still was a bit of a shock not to see Kaylee tinkering away or hear the young woman humming cheerily, but Zoe knew Kaylee was happier now, on Sihnon with Simon. And Rafe was good with a toolkit, had even managed to artfully get them out of a pinch a few weeks back when River had demanded some less-than-normal results from the engine. If Zoe hadn't been sure about the young man before, that little maneuver had erased her lingering doubts.

"Rafe?" she called again, waiting by the door for the mechanic to step out from behind the spinning engine. Wiping his hands on a rag, it took him a minute to bring his blue eyes to Zoe's face, but once he did, she suddenly understood why River had been so subdued all day. Their expressions were almost identical; Rafe too looked as though he'd lost his best friend.

"What can I do for ya, Zo?" he asked casually, crossing the room to toss the rag and his tool onto the workbench.

"We'll be passin' Verbena in a bit," she told him, sizing him up as she spoke. "Cap'n wants to know how we're lookin' on fuel."

Shrugging, Rafe kept his back to her and said, "We're fine. Won't need a refill 'till after we've reached Sihnon."

"All right then." Zoe turned to go knowing whatever had the boy so troubled was none of her business.

"Is River all right?"

His quiet voice snapped her back like a rubber band. With a sympathetic expression, she turned to regard him and had to smile softly at the sheer emotion playing across his face. In truth, Rafe reminded her a bit of Wash. He hadn't knowingly signed up to be part of the captain's ring of criminal masterminds. He'd simply been looking for a job as a ship's mechanic and Kaylee had found him, trolling Sihnon's docks. With his blondish hair and blue eyes, he didn't look the part of a dastardly villain and that alone had endeared him to everyone on the crew, River most of all.

He was a sweet young man who had taken a liking to River almost immediately and vice versa. And over the past months, Zoe had watched as the two had allowed the attraction to grow into something more. She had never seen River happier.

"She's been a bit mopey, I guess," Zoe answered him truthfully. Taking a step closer, she asked, "You do somethin' to her I need to hit ya for?"

His sadness instantly replaced with terror, Rafe hurried to explain, "No, I swear. I don't know what's wrong."

Sitting in the open hatch, Zoe gestured to the hammock at her side, something Kaylee had graciously left behind and said, "Well, then, you'd better tell me what happened, so I can tell ya what you gotta apologize for."

Smirking slightly at her comment, Rafe trudged over and sat heavily in the woven basket. Studying his oil-stained fingers for a moment, he finally admitted, "I woke up last night an' she was gone. So I got worried." Turning to regard Zoe, he added, "We been sleepin' in the same bunk for about a week now. Not doin' nothin'," he hastened to explain, his cheeks coloring. "Jus' you know, bein' together." Zoe smiled softly, remembering her own joy at falling asleep in someone's arms and then nodded, letting Rafe know to continue.

"Sometimes, River wakes up an' she's crying an' carryin' on. Says it's nightmares, an' I can usually calm her down." He rose and began to pace as he told his story and Zoe's eyes followed him back and forth across the room. "But last night, when I woke up, she just wasn't there. So I went lookin'. 

"She was in the cargo bay, dancin'," he said wistfully, the smallest smile gracing his lips. "I ain't never seen somethin' so beautiful, so graceful before." Turning suddenly to Zoe, he asked, "Have you ever seen her dance?"

Shaking her head, Zoe answered, "Nope, 'fraid I haven't. I asked her once, long time ago, but she said no."

"Yeah, me too," Rafe agreed. Of course now that he'd seen River move so fluidly, he had to wonder at her reluctance to share such a gift with others. Shaking the thought away, he continued. "Anyways, so I was watchin' her an' then she jus' collapsed. When I tried to help her, she was cryin' an' she told me to stay away." Sighing heavily, he sank back onto the hammock and muttered, "I ain't seen her since."

Zoe watched as the younger man, so painfully in love, struggled to keep his emotions in check. Knowing River, the older woman knew there were a myriad of reasons for her behavior. But at the moment, she could only guess at one. "Rafe, how much do you know 'bout River?" she asked gently.

Puzzled, the man answered, "A lot, I 'spose." 

Realizing she'd phrased the question wrong, Zoe tried again. "No, I mean about how she came to be on the ship. 'Bout what happened to her before she was on Serenity."

"You mean, her bein' a reader?" he questioned, still not getting it. "She told me 'bout that months ago."

"But that's all," Zoe clarified, studying the man's eyes intently for any hint that he knew more. "She din't mention anything 'bout the Academy or our battle on Mr. Universe's moon?"

His brow still furrowed with confusion, Rafe shrugged. "Nope, not that I can recall." Looking to Zoe intently, he asked, "Is somethin' wrong? Is she sick?"

Frowning softly, Zoe guessed that she and River would have two completely different answers to that question. The girl wasn't sick, she was a survivor. However, the fact that she'd not yet explained to Rafe all she'd been through and the things that had shaped her led Zoe to believe she was ashamed and afraid. Two emotions that River Tam would be better off dismissing for good.

Squeezing his knee gently, Zoe rose and told him, "No, Rafe, she ain't sick. But I'm thinkin' she might need to get some things off her chest." Smiling softly, she added, "I'll go talk with her."

Rising as well, Rafe told her quickly, "Whatever it is, I don't care."

Smiling again, Zoe nodded and then set off in search of River, knowing she and the albatross needed to have a nice, long talk about moving on.

xoxoxoxoxo

Inara peered into the galley, relieved to find the room empty. Hurrying across to the stove, she began to prepare her tea, grabbing a few extra packets for her shuttle. Glancing about nervously, she watched the pot of water as it refused to boil, more than anxious to disappear before Mal turned up.

She hadn't seen him for over a week. Well, she'd seen him intermittently, ducking through a bulkhead or heading for his old bunk. He'd taken to sleeping there again, knowing he would not be welcome in the shuttle. And as much as Inara was glad she didn't have to put up with him or his judgment over her decision, she was starting to miss him.

Why he couldn't understand her need to see and know her daughter was beyond Inara's comprehension. Mal was known for doing ill-advised things on any number of occasions and yet, the one time she wanted to act a bit irrationally, he'd come down on her hard, refusing to even give her wish credence. And now, they were arguing again, which was admittedly their normal way of being, but still … Inara had wanted him to be a part of this. Had wanted Mal to know her daughter; but it appeared that was not what Mal wanted – for himself or for her.

The high-pitched whistle of the kettle startled Inara from her thoughts and with shaking hands, she poured the tea. Damnit, the minute she'd entered the room her thoughts had been on Mal and now she found herself trembling with anger and hurt at his behavior. Rushing to get out of the kitchen, she set the kettle down a bit too quickly and missed the counter. The small pitcher tilted forward and she foolishly reached for it, scalding water dousing her hand in the process.

Crying out in pain, Inara's eyes watered instantly as her hand, now red and raw started to throb. Momentarily frozen, she bent over to pick up the pot and found a strong hand wrapped around her forearm, pulling her towards the sink.

"Leave that be," Mal whispered to her, turning on the cold water and thrusting her injured hand under the stream. He held it there even as she flinched away from the added discomfort. "Easy now." His voice was soft and soothing and he pulled her closer, wrapping one arm around her waist while he continued to hold her other hand over the sink.

A minute or so passed in silence as Mal intently watched the red skin fade to a much pinker shade. Turning off the tap, he reached for a towel and patted the skin dry, never moving his eyes from his task. Inara watched him, wincing slightly as he pressed a bit too hard and then smiling softly as he muttered an apology under his breath and continued to see to her wound.

He was so close now, she could easily run her fingers through his soft hair, ask him to hold her and put this foolish fight behind him. But with a restraint she had learned in her years as a companion, her other hand stayed still at her side and her mouth refused to push out an apology.

With conflicted eyes, Mal looked up to her, and asked, "Better?"

Nodding once, Inara didn't trust her voice and so she didn't speak. "Well, we'd better get a dressing on it. You don't want it gettin' dirty," he commented, turning to head for the steps to the infirmary.

"Mal, I can handle it myself," she told him, her tone even.

Pausing mid-step, Mal allowed his shoulders to slump, a heavy sigh escaping his lips. "So, this is really how it's gonna be, huh?"

Crossing her arms over her chest, Inara winced again as she aggravated her newly injured hand. "What do you mean?"

Turning, Mal's expression was a cross between hurt and angry; Inara wondered which emotion would eventually win. "'Cause I can't agree with yer decision about your daughter, you're gonna shut me out all together, huh?"

Sighing, Inara glanced down to her feet. She had always known that she and Mal had exorbitant amounts of pride, but at the moment it just seemed a tad ridiculous. "That's not how I want it to be," she admitted quietly. Looking back to him with imploring eyes, she added, "But I don't understand why you can't support me in this."

"I don't want you gettin' hurt," Mal finally told her, the statement coming across more angry than he'd intended. "'Nara, this is gonna end bad, an' you know who it's gonna end bad for?" As she stared at him dumbfounded, he continued, "_You_. Not that little girl an' not her new folks, but you."

Walking towards her briskly, he took her by the shoulders and held her surprised gaze. He studied her eyes intently, looking for just a flash of understanding. "'Nara," he said softly, moving one hand to rest against her cheek. "I know this is killin' you, I do. I can see it, but …" Allowing his voice to trail off, Mal swallowed hard, then finally said, "You can't get her back."

Trembling involuntarily at his words, Inara backed out of his arms, leveling a glare in his direction. "You don't think I know that?" Holding her injured hand to her chest, she continued in a shaky voice, "I know I gave up any right to her when she was born and I let them take her away. But Mal, if she …" Swallowing thickly, Inara tried to dislodge the lump in her throat and found her eyes watering. "If she thinks that I did it because I don't love her …" Looking to him with round, pained eyes, she choked, "Mal, she can't think that."

Sympathy replacing the anger in his gaze, Mal reached for her, relieved beyond belief when she did not pull away. With his arms resting around her loosely, he whispered words of comfort into her hair as she buried her head against his chest and cried softly. "If I could do it over again, I wouldn't have let them take her," she said softly, swallowing hard and doing her best to control her emotions. "I just have to let her know that."

Sighing softly, Mal wondered if Inara was even aware of how unnecessary and possibly disruptive such a confession would be in that little girl's life. Realizing probably not, he held his tongue, knowing that it didn't really matter. Inara was still grieving in her own way over the loss of her baby and that was what was important.

"You'll get another chance, 'Nara," he assured her. Rubbing soothing circles along her back, he added, "You will. One day you're gonna be a great ma an' you're gonna love your lil' ones as much as a body can."

"But she'll always be out there, Mal." Inara's voice was broken with emotion and muffled against him, but he heard her and his heart sank just a bit. "I will always have failed her."

"You din't fail nobody, dong ma?" With a steeliness in his tone that left no room for argument, Mal pulled back and met her sad eyes. "I mean it, 'Nara. You did what was best for that child an' for you. You weren't more than a kid yerself."

Inara held his gaze, her eyes threatening to fill again. She knew, deep down, that Mal was right. She'd been incapable of caring for herself let alone a child all those years ago. It was probably better for her daughter that Inara had let her go. But it didn't keep her from regretting that decision. Nodding once, she glanced down to her still hurting hand and then looked back to him with a sheepish smile. "It really hurts."

Lifting her hand to his lips carefully, Mal kissed the tips of her fingers and said, "Well then, we best take care o' that."

xoxoxoxoxo

"River?"

Zoe entered the bridge, expecting to find the young woman in her usual seat, but oddly enough, the pilot's chair was empty. Having searched the rest of the ship, Zoe knew that unless River was hiding in the ventilation system, she had to be up here.

Heading to the top of the stairs leading down to the bottom of the cockpit, Zoe peered into the darkness and called softly, "Lil' one? You down there?"

"Go away." The voice was small and quiet and decidedly River. As Zoe sighed and took one step towards her, the young woman spoke again. "I mean it. The killer's back."

Freezing in mid-stride, Zoe's brow furrowed as she tried to suss out the girl's meaning. River had been doing exceptionally well since Miranda, the entire crew was in agreement about that. But this behavior – running and hiding – was eerily reminiscent of her first months on board and that unsettled Zoe in a way she did not like to admit. It had been a tough year for all of them, but it was time to heal.

Swallowing thickly, Zoe continued to descend the stairs even as she heard the sound of scrambling and knew that River was wedging herself into the smallest corner possible. Reaching the decking, Zoe gave her eyes a moment to adjust to the dark. Her other senses compensated for those few seconds and she heard River's whisper, the haunted sound sending shivers up her spine. "Meant it for the best. Didn't mean any harm. Meant it for the best."

Turning towards the sound of the noise, Zoe inched in River's direction, reaching out a hand. "River, sweetie, what're ya doin' down here?"

"Not safe," she told her, clutching her arms around her knees and pulling herself into a ball. "Not safe."

"You are safe, River, I promise." In the light cast by the monitors above and the stars outside she could just make out River's trembling form. The girl's eyes were shining in the dim light, the round, brown orbs bigger than Zoe remembered. "Why're you mad at Rafe, sweetie? The boy's beside himself."

Blinking rapidly, River pulled her gaze from the distance and fixed it on Zoe. "Not mad," she said, her voice shaky. "I'm in love with him."

Reaching out a bit further, Zoe wrapped a bit of River's wild hair behind her ear and smiled softly. "Then why you runnin'? You know he loves you too."

"Not safe," the reader repeated, burying her head in the top of her knees. "I'm not safe."

Sitting back on her heels, Zoe studied the young woman as she trembled, whether from cold, fear or tears she wasn't quite sure. The girl had been through heartache after heartache and had seen more violence in her eighteen years than just about anyone had a right to. But she had also survived more as well, and that made her undeniably strong.

Of course, Zoe knew, better than most, that strength was an artifice and what dwelled beneath was often built on fear. "You're afraid," Zoe stated softly, not surprised when River's eyes snapped back to her face. "You're afraid you're going to hurt him."

Nodding once, River bit her lip and murmured, "Doesn't know it all. Can't know, won't accept it." Swallowing, River blinked again, a lone tear falling free of her eyelashes and slipping down a pale cheek. "Almost found out."

Zoe's blood ran cold as the significance of the previous evening came back to her. She had of course realized what day it was – the one year anniversary of the day she had become a widow – but she hadn't thought about how that day would effect River. She hadn't wanted to.

"River, sweetie," Zoe began softly, inching just a bit closer and resting a warm hand on River's chilled skin. "You weren't dancin' last night, were ya?"

Shaking her head once, River's voice took on an ethereal quality as she gazed out at the stars. "No.

"Reliving."

Silence surrounded them both and it was cold and unyielding. It was the silence brought about by grief and heartache and both women found themselves momentarily paralyzed by it. But Zoe, who had already done her grieving, recovered first.

Tugging gently on River's arm, she waited until the girl looked to her, before asking, "You ain't told Rafe 'bout the Academy or Miranda, have you?"

Fearfully shaking her head, her wild hair flailing about, River muttered, "No, can't. Won't understand."

"Sweetie, you don't know that," Zoe reminded her, stilling her movements by placing both of her hands on her cheeks. "An' hidin' from him ain't right. He din't do nothin' an' you're punishin' him like he did."

"Zoe." River's voice was stronger than she'd expected and Zoe blinked in shock. Meeting the young girl's gaze, she continued to stare as River said, "I love him. I didn't know if I'd ever be capable of it, but I am. And I can't-" Faltering, the words wouldn't come. Swallowing hard, River did her best to hold onto the momentary clarity she felt. Rafe could always settle her mind; sometimes with his presence, sometimes with just a thought. It was a comfort she had not known since Simon and she found herself basking in the minutes and hours of lucidity he brought her. "I won't be able to live with his rejection."

Frowning slightly, Zoe spoke in the firm tone she normally saved for Jayne or the Captain when they were acting like idiots. "River, that boy loves you. He done told me that no more than a half hour ago, an' he's told everyone on this boat that too. Including you." As River's face blushed at the statement, Zoe continued. "You gotta give him a chance to love all o' you, River. You gotta trust him. It is the scariest thing about love, darlin', trust me, but you gotta do it."

"What if he-" River again found herself unable to complete the question. More tears had fallen down her cheeks and she wiped at them hurriedly, wishing she felt half as strong as the woman who sat before her now.

Smiling softly, Zoe pulled her into a hug and answered her unspoken fear. "Then you come tell me an' I'll give him a talkin' to, dong ma?"

Nodding once, River sighed softly and buried her face in Zoe's neck, doing all she could to soak up some of the woman's courage.

xoxoxoxoxo

"Simon, we jus' wanted to thank ya 'gain for settin' this all up for us."

Simon smiled softly as he watched the recorded wave playback on the screen. Even though he had yet to meet Kaylee's parents in person, the sight of her mother's face and sound of her voice instantly soothed him. He knew that Kaylee had to have grown up in a loving and caring environment, but the woman on the screen now was the epitome of everything a mother should be and Simon found that reassuring.

"We're all set to land 'fore the rehearsal supper an' we got all the directions an' everythin' so you don't gotta sneak 'way an' get us." Smiling brightly, a look that Kaylee had obviously inherited, the woman added, "I think it's awful shiny o' you to surprise Kaylee like this." Blinking away what appeared to be tears, Eleanor Frye fanned her face slightly and said, "Oh, look at me. Gettin' all weepy an' the weddin's more than a month off."

"Ellie, c'mon now," a gruff and slightly amused voice said from off screen.

Frowning at the speaker, Ellie scolded, "Jimmy Frye you know I'll be done when I'm good an' ready." Smiling sweetly once again and facing the screen, the woman did attempt to hurry. "Me an' Jimmy an' Kaylee's brothers, Mikey, Henry an' Martin'll be there with their wives an' kids. The lil' ones are so excited. Can't believe they're gonna be flyin' in a real ship." At a loud throat clearing from off camera, Ellie scowled again, but did finish quickly. "All right, apparently, I gotta go. We'll see ya in 'bout a month, Simon. Thanks again."

Watching as the screen flashed to black, Simon flipped it off and sat back in his seat, smiling wide. He was excited to meet Kaylee's parents, more so than most other bridegrooms he'd known. He supposed it had to do with how much he loved to hear Kaylee talk about them. Any time she shared a story from her childhood it sounded idyllic and so far removed from Simon's own. He marveled at the idea of parents who supported their children wholeheartedly and large family gatherings were everyone, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, showed up to celebrate. While Simon realized it would be a form of organized chaos, he also suspected it would be a form of unmitigated fun too.

The sound of an incoming wave at once startled and annoyed him. He was enjoying his moment of relative peace before having to again brave the trauma wing. Reaching forward to flip the screen back on, his smile melted into a nervous smirk as he greeted his caller. "Mother."

"Simon, sweetheart, we got the invitation today." Regan Tam was beaming, her smile wide – not as wide or bright as Ellie Frye's – but big all the same. "We're thrilled for you, darling, and for Kaylee."

"So you're coming then?" Simon asked hesitantly, not at all surprised when his mother offered him a look of mock horror.

"Of course, we are. You are our son, Simon. This will be one of the most important days of your life." Leaning towards the screen, Regan's eyes actually twinkled as she added, "Plus, we are the parents of the groom. We have certain obligations that we need to fulfill."

"Mother, you really don't have to-"

Waving away his statement, Regan interrupted, "Nonsense, Simon. I know you may not think this should be a big deal, but it is. And your father and I fully understand our responsibilities."

Simon prayed that the grimace on his features was distorted by the wave. He had known they would do this, however, he was fairly certain an 'I told you so' to Kaylee at this juncture could very well result in calling off the event all together. "I know, mother. I'm sure you'll conduct yourselves admirably."

Her eyes narrowing for a moment as if trying to determine whether or not he'd just insulted her, Regan opted to make the statement a joke instead. Chuckling softly, she told him, "All right, son, you be well and your father and I will be back in touch soon with our travel information. I'm so happy for you, dear."

The screen winked to black again and Simon sat back with a heavy sigh. Rubbing a hand over his tired eyes, he wondered if he could forgo the 'I told you so' and try to convince Kaylee of the benefits of eloping instead.

xoxoxoxoxo


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

xoxoxoxoxo

"Sweetie, what'd ya think?"

Simon glanced over to his fiancée, unable to keep the smile off his face at her sated expression. Leaning towards her, he nipped a bit of wayward frosting off her lip with a quick kiss and teased, "You mean, I actually get a say?"

Swatting at him playfully, Kaylee giggled, and the sound warmed Simon's heart. Sitting back from her, he watched as she curled her legs underneath her on the sofa, pulling a small notepad off the coffee table. "Well o' course, silly. Now, we tried the chocolate-chocolate, which I know would be 'Nara's favorite," she confided, consulting her list. "An' the chocolate-coconut. Then there was the vanilla-raspberry, the vanilla-lemon an' the vanilla-strawberry."

Looking back to the tray on the table before them, Simon saw the remnants of their cake samples, a few drops of icing and crumbs. Stroking his chin thoughtfully, he sat back and pondered. "Well, the chocolate-coconut was awfully good." Catching Kaylee's pout out of the corner of his eye, Simon pulled her towards him and whispered, "But the vanilla-strawberry was the best."

Squealing with excitement, Kaylee kissed him soundly, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling herself flush to him. Simon returned her ardor with equal fervor of his own, delighting in the sweet taste the icing had left in her mouth. Pulling apart as they needed to breathe, Simon rested his forehead to Kaylee's and told her, "I am so in love with you."

"You are, huh?" Kaylee teased lightly, starting a gentle line of kisses from his jaw to his ear. As she swirled her tongue around the lobe, Simon felt his insides quiver with delight and he sighed. "It's a good thing I'm in love with you too."

With his arms still around her, Simon held her even closer and pulled them down onto the couch, Kaylee's warm and supple body lying on top of his. With both of them feeling a bit heady from the sugar rush, they continued to kiss and caress like two teenagers, and it was only once Simon read the pure bliss on Kaylee's face that he decided to ask the question he'd been hesitant to broach for over a week.

"Kaylee?" he asked quietly, smirking as she all but moaned an acknowledgement, her lips firmly planted on the soft skin of his neck. Running his hands along her back, he continued. "I was thinking, wouldn't it be great if we were already married?"

Doing her best to concentrate on what he was saying, Kaylee propped herself up on one arm. Gazing down into his serious eyes, she furrowed her brow and asked, "What?"

"I was thinking," Simon told her, brushing some of her hair back from her face and glancing his hand to her cheek. "What if we just skipped the wedding and eloped?"

Unlike the giggle of delight and bright, shining smile he had hoped for, Simon was suddenly confronted with a very peeved Kaylee. Pushing herself off of him, she scrambled to the other end of the sofa, straightening her clothes and glaring. "What're you talkin' 'bout, Simon Tam?"

Sitting up himself, Simon took a deep breath and prayed he had not just discovered a new way to be a boob. "It's just that the wedding is so much work and we don't need to have a fancy party just to tell everyone how we feel." Reaching for her hand, his face fell as she stubbornly crossed her arms over her chest. "Eloping we would be so much more intimate, just the two of us."

Green eyes blazing, Kaylee's lips pressed into a thin line as she regarded the cowardly man before her. She had always thought Simon was brave and noble, sacrificing everything for River all those years ago, taking a bullet from Early and doing his best to keep them all alive during the Reaver battle. But now as she watched him furiously try to backpedal out of their wedding, she had her doubts.

"I don't believe you," she bit out, swallowing hard in an effort to fight back the tears of hurt she felt forming. "I thought you was happy about us gettin' married. I din't know you was ashamed of takin' me for your wife."

His eyes widening in a look of pure horror, Simon's mouth fell open as he found himself desperate for some kind of response to her accusation. Hurrying to fix what had clearly become a huge misunderstanding he inched towards her and said earnestly, "Kaylee, that's not it at all. I would feed our wedding to every cortex screen in the 'verse."

"Then why you wanna call it off now?" she questioned, her anger slowly fading to hurt and confusion. "We only got three weeks to go."

Sighing heavily, Simon hung his head. Bringing his hands up to rub at his temples, he hoped to stave off the pounding headache he knew was coming. The same one that had assaulted him every day since his mother had waved to RSVP. Raising anxious eyes back to her, Simon admitted, "My parents are coming."

Still not catching on, Kaylee scooted towards him. It was obvious by the sad, strained look on his face that whatever was happening was taking its toll. Reaching for his hand, she squeezed it and told him, "I know. You said your ma waved last week."

Nodding, Simon tried to explain. "Right, and just as I suspected, she made it a point to tell me that she and father had duties they must perform as the groom's parents."

"Well, yeah, sweetie, I read all about 'em." Kaylee had indeed versed herself in just about every known wedding tradition, both English and Mandarin over the past months. "They're supposed to host and pay for the rehearsal dinner and pay for a majority of the reception." Almost as if to herself, she added, "'Course we're kinda fudgin' that one, what with us payin' for an' plannin' a big part o' the party afterwards."

Squeezing her hand, Simon drew Kaylee's attention back to him and smiled sadly. "Kaylee, I wish I could tell you that all the plans you've made are going to remain the same once my parents arrive, but …" Releasing another sigh, he finally admitted, "It's just not the case." Taking a deep breath, he added, "My mother asked for the seating chart, menu, catering service and location the other day. She wants to make sure it meets with her approval."

"Oh." Kaylee's small exclamation was quiet, but Simon could hear the disappointment in her tone and he hated it.

"I'm so sorry, Kaylee, but this is just what she does." Simon felt awful and as a result he could no longer sit still. With his anxiety on the rise, he stood abruptly, pacing a convoluted path about the room. "I tried to reason with her, but to top it all off, she's invited some of the biggest names in Sihnonese and Osirian society. And all they'll care about is appearances."

Kaylee watched Simon for a moment, still a bit put out that Regan would be so un-trusting of her. Kaylee had really thought she and the woman had bonded quite nicely during her last visit. But as she studied Simon's nervous and tense posture, she knew that it didn't really matter what Regan did or did not do. What mattered was that her fiancé, soon-to-be husband, was going to worry himself sick over something neither of them could control. And she couldn't have that.

Rising, Kaylee stepped into his path, halting him with her hands resting on his shoulders. "Sweetie, you gotta calm down. Your mama an' I, we'll talk things through an' see what happens. It's gonna be all right."

"But all your plans," Simon stated again, his tone a bit wistful as he thought of the hard work Kaylee had put into their special day falling to the wayside.

"Plans are meant to change, Simon," she reminded him, her smile bright as she shared more of her eternal optimism. "Hopefully, once your ma sees all I've done, she'll be a bit more relaxed an' let us be, but if not …" Shrugging, Kaylee simply flashed another huge smile and said, "Well, all that matters to me is that we're married by the end o' the day, so as long as she don't fool 'round with that, I'm shiny."

Releasing a pent-up sigh, Simon quickly wrapped her into his arms, holding her tight. "I love you," he whispered against her cheek, pressing kisses to her temple. "Thank you."

Squeezing him back, Kaylee asked lightly, "You really wanna thank me?"

Chuckling softly, Simon answered by pressing a warm and hungry kiss to her mouth which Kaylee eagerly returned.

Kaylee rose to the sound of furious tapping. Rubbing her sleep-filled eyes, she pulled herself out of bed with a groan and tied on her robe. Following the consistent noise, she wandered to the living room, unable to keep the tiny smile off her face as she regarded Simon.

He was bare-chested, a pair of sleep pants his only clothing as he sat on their plush couch, holding a data card and stylus. It was obvious he'd been reading something, but now it appeared he was lost in thought. The stylus, the source of the noise, was absentmindedly drumming against the screen, Simon's fingers rolling it back and forth as his blue eyes focused on a far off point.

Sighing quietly, Kaylee wished she knew of a way to ease his trepidation over his parents' imminent arrival. A mischievous smile playing across her features, she hurried back to their bedroom, grabbing an item from his dresser before returning.

He had not moved in the seconds she'd been gone and so, still smiling, she sidled up behind the couch. Leaning over next to him, she dropped the socks she'd grabbed into his lap.

As he looked to her with a startled expression, Kaylee teased, "I figured ya might need 'em. Fer your cold feet."

Chuckling lightly, Simon picked up the socks and threw them in a high arc across the room. As Kaylee laughed, he turned to face her, rising up on his knees, and pulled her close. Bringing his mouth to hers, he murmured, "My feet are fine," before kissing her fervently, his lips possessing hers with passion.

Moaning softly at his exquisite touch, Kaylee held onto him tightly and whispered against his mouth. "Then why're you out here?"

Continuing to kiss along her cheek and to her ear, Simon placed one last kiss to her temple before wrapping his arms around her waist and laying his head to her breast. "I was just restless," he explained vaguely. "I didn't want to disturb you."

Running her fingers through his hair Kaylee dropped a kiss to his scalp. "Sweetie, whatever your folks do, it's gonna be okay," she reminded him, moving her other hand to the base of his neck and starting to massage the flesh there.

Feeling some of his tension release at her touch, he answered, "I know. You're right. I just want to be sure that they remember this is _our_ day."

"Well then, we'll jus' keep remindin' 'em," Kaylee told him, pressing another kiss to his hairline.

Simon sighed softly and tightened his hold around her waist. He often wondered how exactly he had gotten so lucky, and then just as quickly avoided the topic all together. Simon Tam knew that perfection was in short supply in the 'verse and he knew he'd been given more than his fair share. He could not lose that – lose Kaylee – ever.

"Are you excited about your parents coming?" He asked as casually as possible, feeling a small smirk grace his face. Simon knew Kaylee was completely clueless that he had already arranged for the transport to bring them three days early, allowing the Fryes to join in all the pre-wedding festivities. She was also still under the impression that only her parents would be attending – Simon could not wait to see the joy on her face when she was greeted by her entire family.

Feeling a huge smile spread across her face, Kaylee told him, "Oh, heck yeah. I ain't seen 'em in quite a bit, so it'll be good jus' to catch up. My mama an' I, we're used to talkin' regular. I've missed her," she added softly.

Catching the wistfulness in her voice, Simon pulled back slightly and told her, "Kaylee, you do know that you can wave your family any time you want? You can even send them money to come and visit."

Frowning at him slightly, she questioned, "What money, Simon? I ain't made a dime since we left Serenity."

Smiling widely at her, Simon took her hands in his, rubbing his thumbs along the backs in soothing circles. "I am making more than enough for both us. Ridiculously large stacks of money, remember?"

She giggled softly, but Simon saw the blush creep onto her cheeks as she ducked her head and he knew the discussion was making her uncomfortable. Undeterred, he added, "You should consider that money yours as well."

"But it ain't, Simon," she reminded him quietly, raising her vivid green eyes to his face. "I can't spend your money, that ain't right."

"Bao bei," he sighed, gently resting a hand to her cheek. She was so earnest, so trusting and loving in all things, it honestly made his heart ache at times, the small organ threatening to burst due to the amount of love he felt for her. "It's _our_ money. Not mine, ours. And if you don't believe me, do a little reading on post-marital rights. Once we're husband and wife, you'll legally be entitled to half."

Shrugging slightly, she muttered, "I guess."

Cupping her cheek, Simon leaned forward and brushed his mouth to hers. "No guessing about it, dong ma? Half and half."

Smiling softly, Kaylee placed her hand over the one he held to her face and coaxed gently, "Come to bed."

Hiking himself over the back of the sofa, Simon did not need to be told twice.

"Riv?"

Tentatively, Rafe took a step into the common room, knowing he'd seen River head this way not too long ago. Of course, with the way she moved she could be just about anywhere, but having already checked the cargo bay, bridge and both their bunks, he was assuming she was still in the immediate vicinity

But he did not expect her to be in the infirmary.

Rafe knew she had an uncommon aversion to the room, one which he didn't really understand, but also hadn't tried to. He assumed after they'd left her brother, Simon, on Sihnon, she avoided the med bay because it reminded her of him, maybe even caused her to feel a bit homesick. He'd thought he'd heard other rumblings, coming from the captain and Zoe about alternative theories, but Rafe had dismissed them as gossip. Unless River told him herself, he was going to assume there was nothing pertinent to know.

Standing in the doorway to the dim room, Rafe crossed his arms over his chest and watched intently as River stood, unmoving, before the counter. Her pale hands were resting against the flat surface, palms down, one on either side of a syringe. From where he was standing Rafe was uncertain if it was full, but her proximity to the needle was causing enough panic regardless. Her gaze was steady, looking out the window before her that showed the stairway and gray wall beyond – not much to look at, but at the moment, she appeared riveted.

"You okay?" Rafe asked quietly, not venturing closer. It had been over two days since he'd found her dancing in the cargo bay and she still had not returned to their bunk. In fact, she had barely spoken more than two words to him. However, after passing Zoe in the galley earlier and getting a small smile and nod of encouragement from the stalwart woman, Rafe had decided to brave whatever mood River was in. "I'm worried 'bout ya, bao bei."

"Sweetheart." The word was toneless, and quiet and Rafe strained to be sure he'd heard her. "Darling, someone who is loved." Her gaze never wavered from that far-off point she was so intent on even as she defined the word.

"Yeah, that's you," Rafe assured, taking one cautious step into the room. As she slowly turned her head to look at him with haunted eyes, he swallowed thickly. "Ain't it?"

"Is it?" River moved slowly towards him, trailing her hand along the counter, leaving the syringe behind. Cocking her head to one side, her long brown hair swished down over one shoulder, even as her eyes focused past him. "Is that me? Someone who is loved? Someone who is lovable?"

Reaching out a hand, Rafe clasped one of hers in his, hissing softly at how cold she was to the touch. On instinct, he moved closer, rubbing his hands up and down her bare arms gently to get circulation flowing. "Ai ya, River, you're cold as ice, darlin'."

"Cold." The word was a whisper and Rafe got the distinct impression that whatever she was staring at or thinking on was far removed from this time and place. "Detached, indifferent, without emotion." Shifting her eyes to him, River's big brown eyes shined in the dim light as she murmured, "Like a killer."

Concern clouding his features, Rafe felt an overwhelming surge of protectiveness towards the frail creature shivering before him. Removing the over shirt he often wore, a worn flannel that he had had for far too many years, he draped it across her shoulders, pulling River close. She allowed him to hold her, but stayed stiff in his embrace and that concerned him. "River, sweetie, what're you sayin'? You ain't a killer."

"I am," she whispered, wrapping her fists around the edges of his shirt and pulling it tight about her. "I was. I could be again." Releasing a heavy sigh, she finally dropped her forehead to his shoulder and murmured brokenly, "What am I saying? I never know what I'm saying."

"Shh, bao bei, you're okay," Rafe whispered, holding her tightly against him. She seemed even smaller than normal, thinner and more ethereal than he ever remembered before and Rafe had the distinct impression that she was disappearing before his eyes. Running a hand through her hair gently, he told her, "Why don't we get some sleep?"

Shaking her head, River pressed her forehead into his neck, using the warmth of his skin to provide some comfort. "Can't, can't sleep. Keep hearing the screams, smelling the blood, keep seeing it. It won't stop." Becoming more and more agitated as she spoke, the images of Miranda and the Reaver battle continuing to flash through her mind, she raised tear-filled eyes to Rafe's worried gaze and murmured, "Make it stop. Please, make it stop."

"Stop what, Riv?" Rafe had never felt more helpless. Not since he'd watch his mother die from cancer had he felt so immensely useless. River was in pain, that was obvious to him and while he had no idea of its cause, he also had no idea of how to take it away. "You gotta talk to me, bao bei. I don't understand."

Swallowing thickly, River squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath. She had beaten back her insanity before when she had had so much less to live for. Now, with the feel of Rafe's arms around her and his soothing presence so close, she knew she had to fight it again. After another few seconds of trying to collect herself, River pulled back slightly and met his concerned gaze with a sad smile. Caressing his cheek lightly, she murmured, "There's something I need to tell you."

Returning her gaze unwaveringly, Rafe nodded once and then wrapped an arm around her shoulders, leading her from the room.

Kaylee smoothed down her skirt and straightened her shoulders before lifting her hand and knocking on Eli's office door. Smiling softly as she heard his familiar voice invite her inside, she entered the room and greeted him warmly.

"Hiya, doc."

Unable to keep the automatic smile from his face at the sound of her chipper voice, Eli glanced up from his work. "Well, well, well. This is a pleasant surprise." Standing up, he circled his desk quickly and engulfed the young woman in a big hug. "How are you, my dear?"

"Real good, doc, thanks." Kaylee hugged the man back, enjoying his embrace as it reminded her so much of her father's, warm and comforting. Pulling away, she smiled and shrugged slightly, "Still ain't pregnant, but other than that, I'm shiny."

Placing his hands on her shoulders, Eli held her gaze steadily and reminded her, "It'll happen when it's meant to, Kaylee. Remember that."

Blushing slightly, she murmured, "Yes, sir." Shaking off her momentary sheepishness, Kaylee raised bright eyes to him and said, "Anyways, I came here to ask ya somethin'. Do you got a minute?"

"For you, I've got all the time in the world," Eli admitted, gesturing her to a seat before resuming his own. Resting his hands on his desk, he asked, "What can I do for you?"

Shifting a bit uncomfortably, Kaylee took a deep breath. She had hoped that coming to Eli and asking for a favor would be all right, but now that she was here she realized it could be considered a bit presumptuous and inappropriate. Shaking that thought away, Kaylee faced him and said, "You know that Simon an' I are gettin' hitched in a little over two weeks."

"Well of course, my dear. Didn't you get my RSVP?" Eli teased, smiling again.

Kaylee returned the grin with a nod and continued. "Well, he's gettin' real anxious 'bout his folks comin' an' all the people bein' here an' … well, I got this idea. Kind of a weddin' present o' sorts."

Leaning back in his seat, Eli continued to grin and encouraged her, "Do tell."

"Well, I was thinkin', maybe I could throw him kind of a surprise party, just some of our friends an' the crew, 'fore all the families get here an' things get real crazy. Maybe relax him a bit."

Nodding once, Eli couldn't agree with her diagnosis or treatment idea more. "I think that's a grand idea, dear. How can I help?"

"Well, I … um …" Kaylee found her nerve failing as she realized just what type of favor she was asking of her good friend. Rising swiftly, she backed towards the door, feeling her cheeks blushing intensely. "You know what? It ain't important, I can think o' somethin'."

"Kaylee," Eli said firmly, regarding her with a no nonsense expression. "Just ask. You know I would do anything for the both of you."

"Well, since I don't got no money, I can't rent a place or get it catered." Glancing to her feet, Kaylee twisted her hands together as she asked, "I was kinda hopin' maybe you an' Evelyn wouldn't mind hostin' it. You wouldn't have to get us any other kind of present or nothin' an' I got a bit of money still from when I was on board Serenity. I can prolly help pay for the food." Swallowing uncomfortably, Kaylee risked glancing up to him, expecting to find either a shocked or disgusted expression on the older man's face. She was completely surprised when it became obvious he was doing his best to stifle a laugh.

"Evelyn and I will happily host you, the crew and anyone else you want," he told her jovially, rising to stand before her. Resting his hands to her shoulders, he cocked an eyebrow and asked, "Although I'm curious. How can you have no money? Don't I pay Simon enough?"

Worried she'd offended him, Kaylee hastened to explain, "Oh, you pay him plenty, trust me, doc. But I'm only volunteerin' at the orphanage. I don't make any money."

"Why don't you spend Simon's?" Eli questioned, quite intrigued by the younger woman's logic.

Surprised by the question, Kaylee stated matter-of-factly, "That's Simon's money, not mine. I ain't got no right to it."

Laughing heartily, Eli again hugged her and said, "Oh, I should have you talk to my wife and daughters. They have no problem spending any of my money."

Giggling softly, Kaylee felt a great weight lifted off her shoulders. "Eli, I can't thank ya 'nough. Simon's so prone to worryin' anyways an' I just …" Smiling brightly to him, she hugged him again. "I know this is gonna be just the thing to relax him." As Eli returned her grin, Kaylee stepped back, glancing to the clock on his desk. "I gotta go. They're expectin' me at the orphanage soon."

"Not a problem. Call Evelyn as soon as you can and I'm sure the two of you will have the grandest party planned that Sihnon has ever seen in no time." Rounding his desk and sitting again, he added, "I'll call her now and give her a heads up."

"Thanks doc," she told him sincerely, offering him another one of her wide smiles.

"No thanks necessary, Kaylee, believe me. I just want you and Simon to be happy." Eli smiled to her again and Kaylee waved slightly before shutting the door.

As she headed for the lift, she again wondered just how exactly she and Simon had gotten so lucky as to meet and befriend a man like Eli Butler. He was truly like a surrogate father/mentor/role model to them both and it warmed Kaylee's heart in a way she could never fully explain to know that should she and Simon ever need anything, he and his family would be there for them.

It seemed that in a 'verse where friends and family could be few and far between, Simon and Kaylee had been overly blessed.

xoxoxoxoxo

"Bring her back. Please. I just want to hold her."

Mal awoke abruptly to the sound of Inara's pained cries. Turning over swiftly, he studied her intently in the dim light, trying to determine just what exactly had her so bothered. A small sigh of relief escaped his lips as he noted that she was still sleeping, her sleep-talking obviously the result of a nightmare.

Whimpering softly, Inara thrashed about, trying to pull her arms out from under the heavy blankets and grasp for something. Scooting closer to her, Mal ran a gentle hand over her forehead and through her hair as he whispered, "Wake up, 'Nara. You're dreamin'."

Inhaling sharply, her big, brown eyes snapped open and she searched the darkened shuttle anxiously, trying to quickly get her bearings. Once she recognized the silk hangings over the bed and touch of Mal's hand through her hair, she closed her eyes and took a long, deep breath, using the moment to rid herself of her tears.

Turning her face to look at him, she reopened her eyes and smiled weakly. "Sorry to wake you," she told him, running her fingers along his stubble-covered jaw.

Taking her hand in his, Mal kissed her palm and then lay back down, tugging her gently towards him. She came willingly, resting her head on his chest, feeling the reassuring sound of his heartbeat beneath her ear.

"You okay?" he questioned softly, clasping her hand firmly in his and holding it over his chest.

Nodding once, she told him, "Fine. Go back to sleep." When she heard Mal sigh heavily, Inara knew he was unconvinced that whatever had awoken her was no big deal. Hoping to change the subject, she reminded him, "We need to finish this next job quickly if we're going to make it to Sihnon in time for Kaylee's surprise."

"Jus' how many parties does that girl think she's gonna get?" Mal asked, his tone conveying a bit of fake annoyance. Inara knew that if Kaylee asked him to walk through the fires of hell and back, he would, no questions asked. Arriving on Sihnon a day early for a party was no trouble at all.

Curling herself tighter to him, Inara answered, "As many as she wants Mal, she is the bride."

"Yeah, well, as long as it don't get outta hand," he slurred, sleep again coming quickly.

His eyes closed of their own accord, even as Inara did her best to shake the remnants of her dream. She had been so close this time to actually holding her daughter, to seeing her tiny face and running a finger along the top of one small, curled fist. But again, Inara had come back to consciousness, without the opportunity.

"That how you're gonna be?" Mal slurred, rubbing his cheek lightly against the top of her head. "When we get hitched?"

Inara felt her breath catch in her throat as Mal's words registered. Taking a deep breath, she slowly lifted her head from his chest and let out a small sigh of exasperation as she noted he was again asleep. "Oh, you coward," she murmured, unable to force the small grin off her face as she pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth and again settled in to sleep.

xoxoxoxoxo

"I don't understand."

River watched with sad eyes as Rafe paced the small confines of her bunk, a hand absentmindedly running through his hair over and over again. He'd been agitated from almost the second she'd begun to tell her story and she could both see and feel now how difficult it was for him to comprehend all she was saying.

"Your folks sent you to a place where they, they cut on ya?" Rafe asked, pausing long enough to look back at her, confusion etched into his normally warm, blue eyes.

"They didn't know," River told him, hugging her arms about herself, grateful that he hadn't yet taken back his warm shirt. It smelled like him, a bit of engine grease mixed with a scent that was undeniably Rafe. River smiled slightly, wondering at the irony of both her and her brother falling for mechanics. Maybe machine oil really was an aphrodisiac.

"But Simon knew an' he got you out," Rafe recapped, continuing to pace. This was so incredibly unreal, he was having a very hard time making any sense of it. The thought that River could have been subjected to such torture, that her skull had been opened repeatedly, her brain sliced like a piece of fruit, made his insides twists. Biting back the nausea he felt, he looked to her and asked, "Do you remember your time there?"

Shrugging, River cast her eyes to the bedspread she was sitting on so he wouldn't see the full extent of her pain. "Some of it, not all. I remember more from the first few months, before it got really bad. The last few months, before Simon got me, are all a blur."

Swallowing hard past the uncomfortable lump in his throat, Rafe tried to digest this information, before he asked, "An' what they did to you, that's what caused you to know 'bout Miranda?"

Nodding once, River continued to stare at her lap as she recounted more of her scarred past. "When they started to pick at my brain, things became very jumbled. There wasn't much I could understand. Memories got mixed with current events and pain started to become comfortable." Risking a glance to him, she explained, "Sometimes, no matter how much something hurts, the absence of it is almost worse."

Feeling a surge of anger quickly replaced by compassion, Rafe moved back to her. Sitting before her, he rested a hand to her cheek, glad that she didn't pull away. She seemed so distant now, so far from him and it scared him. He was worried she may not come back.

River offered him the smallest smile as a sign of reassurance before continuing. "Eventually, I was just raw, like an exposed nerve ending. I was the ultimate receptor, I could take in and absorb just about anything and so, as the doctors and scientists at the Academy paraded officials and members of Parliament past me, my mind picked up on things." Her gaze turning from sad to imploring in a second, she told him breathlessly, "I couldn't help it. I didn't want to know those things. They were awful secrets, memories and knowledge no person should have to carry around. But I couldn't keep them out. I couldn't keep them away, I had no control." The end of her statement came out strangled, as her emotions and the memory again overwhelmed her. Burying her face in her hands, River felt tears wetting her palms.

Rafe hesitated for only a second. He had known from the beginning that River was different, unique and special in a way that had made him love her even more fiercely. But now, as she explained what had truly shaped her into the woman before him, he found himself in awe. She was more than unique, more than special, more than different – she was a survivor, a hero, an angel. And most importantly to him, she was love.

It was this last that dictated his actions. By instinct his arms encircled her, pulling her into his chest even as she tried to fight him. "There's more," she cried softly, trying to push him away. "You have to know everything."

"Shh, darlin'." Rafe tried to reassure her, shifting slightly so he could pull her into his lap. Leaning against the wall of the bunk, he pressed kisses into her hair as she continued to shake from the intensity of her tears. "I don't gotta know it all tonight."

"You have to know, you have to make an educated decision," River hiccupped, pulling away from him and meeting his equally pained gaze. "Have to know all the facts."

Cradling her face in his hands, Rafe studied every inch of her, his eyes lingering over her wet brown ones for untold minutes. It was her eyes that had drawn him in initially – those wide, all-seeing eyes that could twinkle with the light of a thousand stars and burn with the intensity of a thousand suns. The eyes were the window to the soul and as soon as Rafe had looked deeply into River's, he'd seen that soul and he'd known it was pure and it was good. Nothing she could tell him now was going to change that.

"You know what I know?" he questioned softly, gently caressing his thumbs along her cheeks and pulling some of her tears away. "I know that you are the most amazin' woman I have ever met. Jian mei," he whispered, before brushing a light kiss to her mouth.

"Beautiful and strong," River translated as he again pulled back to study her. Blinking her eyes open, her lashes sparkled with a few tears as she breathed, "Really? That's really how you see me?"

Smirking slightly, he challenged her, "Why don't you tell me?"

Biting her lower lip, River looked to him skeptically. He nodded once, giving her permission to look into his mind, something they had established early on in their relationship she would not do. Closing her eyes, River let out a long, slow breath and found herself in Rafe's mind's eye in seconds. It was warm and inviting, just like him and River immediately felt safe and protected there. Glancing about the orange and yellow space, she turned and found herself face to face with her mirror image. However, the woman she beheld was not feral or violent – she was beautiful.

Flowing hair breezed past her bare shoulders, the light purple dress she wore skimming her knees. In one hand she held a pair of ballet slippers and in the other … focusing more closely, she found herself unable to hold back a grin. Was that a torque wrench?

Opening her eyes with the smile still on her face, she asked, "A wrench? You see me carrying a wrench?"

Nodding once, Rafe made no apologies. "Damn straight," he told her. Kissing her again, he whispered, "I think it's gorram sexy when a woman knows how to handle tools."

Blushing slightly, River leaned in to kiss him again, her breath whispering over his lips as she told him, "I'll keep that in mind."

Chuckling lightly, Rafe silenced any other conversation by kissing her again, his lips warm and supple as they covered hers. His hands still holding her cheeks, he moved one around to the back of her neck, threading his fingers through her hair and pulling her closer to him, deepening the kiss. He wanted her to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that anything she'd told him had only served to heighten his feelings for her, not diminish them.

River felt herself floating as she gave in to the love and passion Rafe showered on her. Shifting closer, she slipped her fingers through his hair, using all the instinct she possessed to guide her actions. This was still new for her, kissing, touching and while she enjoyed it – so very much – she still found herself concerned with Rafe's feelings and reactions. She wanted him to enjoy it as well.

Nipping lightly at his lower lip, she pulled it slowly into her mouth, plying apart his lips and using the opening to tease his tongue with her own. The light touch was all the encouragement he needed and Rafe eagerly plundered her mouth, his tongue recklessly exploring.

River wanted more, she knew that. Her body had been giving her the signs for about a month now: that intense coiling just below her belly, that warm, wet feeling between her legs, that heightened heartbeat, that heady feeling of needing a release; but something had always stopped her, stopped them and while it frustrated her, River also found herself slightly grateful. She loved Rafe, she knew that, but she also knew that taking that final step would be irrevocable and she didn't want to risk ruining what they had. Rafe's presence in her life, his love for her, was more precious to River than just about anything else. It was the one thing she had always assumed she'd never have and so she now protected it with a ferocity that would put most mother lions to shame.

Forced to part for air, River rested her forehead to his and murmured, "There's more I have to tell you."

Pressing a kiss to her temple, Rafe shook his head once and said quietly, "You can tell me tomorrow, River. Right now, we both need to get some shuteye." Pulling back so he could meet her tired gaze, he asked softly, "Can I stay?"

Nodding eagerly, River kissed him again. "Please. The dreams might come."

Releasing a huge sigh of relief, Rafe kissed her once more before they both shifted, moving to get under the covers. Once they were situated, River's body molded easily into Rafe's side, her head on his chest, he reached behind them to flip off the light. Dropping another kiss to her scalp, he murmured, "No dreams, jian mei. Not tonight. Jus' sleep."

Kissing his cheek, River sighed softly, her eyes closing easily as her exhaustion took over. And just slept.

xoxoxoxoxo

Translations: _Jian mei_ – beautiful and strong


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

xoxoxoxoxo

Simon shifted a bit in the seat beside Kaylee, again fidgeting with his cufflinks. "Kaylee, do you really think this is the best night for us to be out?" he asked, turning to regard her.

Taking a deep breath so as not to lose her cool, Kaylee turned to him with a placid expression and asked, "What, sweetie?"

Simon could read the tension tightening at the corners of her eyes and he tried to ease it by relaxing. However, the knowledge that his parents would be standing on his doorstep in under ten hours was damaging his normally collected demeanor. "My parents are arriving tomorrow," he told her by way of explanation.

Squeezing his hand gently, Kaylee inched closer and pressed a kiss to his cheek as the hover rumbled along. "I know, sweetie. But there ain't nothin' more we can do to plan for 'em. You already called to check on their reservation at the hotel an' I cleaned the apartment from top to bottom." Holding her hand in front of his face, she pouted slightly and added, "I even got the grimy fingernails to prove it."

Smiling softly, Simon took the upraised hand in his and kissed each fingertip, before tugging her towards him gently. Placing a light kiss to her warm lips, he whispered, "I'm sorry. I'm trying to relax, I promise."

Nuzzling her nose into his cheek, Kaylee told him, "Well then, maybe dinner with the Butlers is jus' the thing you need. You know Eli and Evie always put you in a good mood."

Resting his cheek against her hair, Simon released one more heavy sigh and then squeezed her close. "You're right. A nice quiet night is just what I need."

In their current position, Simon missed the flash of concern in Kaylee's eyes at his statement.

xoxoxoxoxo

"Ain't it time t'eat yet?"

Jayne's grumbled complaint garnered eye rolls from the rest of the crew, while River simply jabbed him sharply in the ribs. Flashing a threatening expression to him, she whispered harshly, "Quiet. Can't ruin the surprise."

"Don't see why we's goin' to all this fuss anyways. It ain't like we ain't gonna have another party tomorrow an' the day after that." Jayne continued to mumble under his breath, but the crew ignored him this time, their attention turned to the entryway as they heard the faint sound of a hovercraft settling to the ground outside. The foyer was dimly lit, but not dark, and Serenity's crew had gravitated to the outer walls, hoping to stay out of Simon and Kaylee's immediate line of sight until the surprise had been revealed.

Rafe and River stood together, his arm around her slim shoulders. Inara had noticed that the young man had not drifted from her side for more than a few minutes in the past twenty-four hours, while River had done everything she could to stay close to him as well. They had always been a quiet couple, not prone to the fits of giggles or squeals that had filled the ship when Simon and Kaylee were still aboard. But their mood in the past day had been a bit more subdued and while it concerned Inara slightly, she also knew that when and if either of them needed help, they would ask for it.

Inara stood beside Mal, a drink in her hand as they waited for Simon and Kaylee's arrival. While they had again been sharing a bed, things between her and the obstinate captain were still a bit strained. She had not mentioned her daughter once in the past two weeks, but the tension that the topic had initially caused had yet to dissipate. Inara knew Mal was simply waiting for the other shoe to drop – and unfortunately, she also knew he was right to fear.

She would not give up on her search for her daughter, she couldn't. She wanted to know her, to apologize to her and tell her that giving her up for adoption had been the hardest thing Inara had ever had to do. Inara needed that closure as much as anything and every day she went on without it was another day of immense sadness. Regardless of whether Mal could understand that, it was something she was determined to do.

Glancing to Zoe and Jayne standing just slightly behind River and Rafe, Inara turned her attention back to the doorway as Eli and Evelyn, their hosts for the evening, approached the door right before the chime sounded. The Butlers' two grown daughters and their spouses were also at the back of the foyer, very excited to surprise their newfound friends less than forty-eight hours before their big day.

With twinkling eyes and a mischievous grin, Eli glanced to his wife with his hand on the door knob. Getting a small nod from her, he grandly opened the door as Evelyn hit a light switch on the jamb, dousing the room in bright light and cueing the guests to yell, "Surprise!"

While Kaylee clapped her hands happily and hugged Simon tightly, the bridegroom stared at their family and friends with a look of utter disbelief. Pulling back to kiss Simon soundly, Kaylee, eyes sparkling whispered, "Surprise."

Shaking his head slightly to regain a modicum of awareness, Simon looked down to her beaming face. "You did this?"

Nodding once, Kaylee glanced to their hosts who stood arm-in-arm behind the young couple, smiling proudly. "Well, I asked Eli an' Evie if'n they wouldn't mind hostin' all o' us." Craning her neck to find the captain, Kaylee turned from Simon and hugged the man quickly, before adding, "And the cap said they could get here a day early." Embracing Inara quickly, before moving back to Simon's side, Kaylee slid her hand into his and asked, "Surprised?"

"Are you kidding?" The look on his face telegraphed to the entire assemblage he'd had no idea to expect this, but Simon couldn't help it. He was shocked; there was no other way to put it. Kissing Kaylee again, he returned her large grin with one of his own as he remarked, "I'm just not sure what this is for." Turning to her, he took her hands and said, "The wedding is about us, not just me."

The crew and their hosts drifted towards the parlor as Kaylee felt a few tears well in her eyes at his sincerity. Cradling his face in her hands, she told him, "Sweetie, you've been so stressed. I jus' wanted you to have one night to relax an' enjoy 'fore your folks show up an' my folks show up …" Her statement trailing off, Kaylee leaned towards him and brushed her lips against his in a lingering kiss. Leaning back, she finished, "It's kinda my weddin' gift to you. Just us an' our family an' friends. Like ya wanted."

Simon's heart beat sharply against his rib cage as his blue eyes studied Kaylee's warm green ones. Even though he'd known her for two years and they'd been together for one, she still had the capacity to surprise him and to make his heart fill with more love for her than he rightly knew what to do with. Swallowing past the sudden lump that had formed in his throat, Simon reached out a hand to her face, his fingers gently tracing her cheek bone and jaw line. Kaylee turned her lips into his palm and kissed it, before again bringing glistening eyes to his face.

Resting his forehead against hers, Simon murmured, "You are amazing. Thank you for loving me."

Smiling warmly, Kaylee again kissed him and whispered against his mouth, "Yeah, well that's a two-way street buster. Thank you for lovin' me."

Moving his arms to her waist, Simon held her tightly and promised, "For the rest of my life."

Sighing with content at the feeling of his strong arms around her and the sense of lightness in her heart, she luxuriated in his embrace for only a few seconds before pulling away and tugging him towards the sounds of the party in the next room. "C'mon, we got some celebratin' to do."

xoxoxoxoxo

The minute Simon stepped into the parlor, he found his arms full of his sister. "Missed you, Simon," she whispered in his ear, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

Wrapping his arms around her lithe form, Simon buried his face in her hair and squeezed her tight. "I missed you too, mei mei." The siblings stayed locked in the embrace for a few more moments, before Simon finally pulled back. Looking her up and down with an appraising eye, he brought his gaze back to her face and asked earnestly, "Are you all right? You look wonderful."

Smiling wide, River nodded once and confided, "I am wonderful, Simon. Better than wonderful." Glancing over her shoulder to Rafe who was shuffling his weight from one foot to the other, she reached out a hand to him, smiling wide. The blond-haired man came immediately, sliding his calloused hand into River's as she turned back to her brother and announced, "Simon, you remember Rafe, don't you? We're seeing each other."

Simon tried to keep the look of disbelief from his features, but he knew in the second his sister's eyes flashed with disappointment that he'd failed. Stepping towards Rafe and trying to ignore that the man had placed a very familiar hand at his sister's waist, Simon extended his arm and said, "We met when you took the job on Serenity. It's nice to see you again, Rafe."

"You too, doc." He met Simon's gaze unflinchingly and for that, the older man had to give him credit. His handshake was firm, not hard, but strong enough to let Simon know he could take care of his mei mei. "Congratulations on your weddin'."

"Thank you." Simon nodded, his gaze still guarded, his tone curt as he allowed his eyes to travel over this young man who presumed to love his sister. Kaylee chose this moment to float back to his side, easily disengaging herself from a conversation with Inara as she saw the tension on Simon's face rising again.

Sliding an arm around his waist, she reached for River and the soon-to-be sisters embraced tightly, while Simon and Rafe continued to stare. As Kaylee made a move to greet Rafe, she shared an eye roll with River, both of them more than aware of the pissing contest currently taking place between their two men.

Rolling her eyes again, this time at her brother, River commented sarcastically, "I'm sure the Butlers have a ruler. We could settle this right now."

Both men's cheeks flushed at her comment, and Simon dropped his gaze first. Placing his arm around Kaylee's waist, when he again brought his eyes to his sister, there was genuine happiness mixed with his concern. "Give me time to get used to the idea, mei mei." Looking to Rafe, he added, "Please."

River and Rafe both nodded, even as River reached out and squeezed Simon's forearm. Waiting until his eyes had again locked with hers, she told him in a whisper, "I'm okay, Simon. Rafe is good for me." Glancing to the young man who had so obviously stolen her heart, she added quietly, "He loves me."

His eyes locked with hers, Rafe smiled at her comment and kissed her gently. "That I do," he answered back, his eyes never leaving her face.

"Aw, well ain't you two jus' the sweetest thing I ever saw." Kaylee's squeal of delight was hard to ignore and Simon found his mouth turning up into a grin at her words. "Ain't they, Simon?" she asked, turning those shining eyes to him. "Ain't they jus' so cute?"

"I suppose they are, bao bei," Simon told her, pressing a kiss to her temple.

"Yeah, ruttin' disgustin' is what they is," Jayne bellowed from nearby. He had parked himself at one end of the hors d'ouevre table and was now licking some kind of sauce off his fingers. "Kissin' an' neckin' in every part o' the – ow!"

The rest of Jayne's statement came to an abrupt end as Zoe swiftly cuffed him on the side of the head. As he glared at her, rubbing the spot just behind his ear, she muttered, "Shut it, Jayne."

"They actually make an adorable couple, Simon," Inara interjected, moving towards the group, Mal trailing behind her like a lost puppy. "And they've been very discreet." Allowing her eyes to drift to her friend, the bride, Inara's eyes twinkled with mirth as she added, "In comparison to some."

Blushing slightly, Kaylee smiled and said, "Oh, we was never that bad."

As the crew all muttered comments of varying disbelief at her feigned innocence, Eli reentered the room and announced grandly, "Dinner is served."

xoxoxoxoxo

By the end of the night, Simon had to admit he was ridiculously relaxed. Of course, the half bottle of sake Kaylee had managed to ply him with was probably a key ingredient to his laid back mood at the moment, but he honestly didn't care. He was surrounded by all those he held most dear in the 'verse, he was marrying the woman of his dreams in just a few short hours and his sister was happy and smiling. All was right in Simon Tam's world.

Sitting down heavily beside the slightly tipsy man, Eli slapped Simon's leg heartily and asked, "So, Doctor Tam, are you enjoying your last hours of freedom?"

Smiling wide, Simon glanced to his other side and caught sight of Kaylee grinning from ear to ear as she animatedly shared a story with Inara and Mal. Glancing back to Eli, Simon nodded once and said, "Yes, I certainly am."

"Well, I'm glad," the older man stated, looking about the room and surveying his family and friends as they laughed and chatted. Leaning back against the couch, Eli and Simon sat in a companionable silence for a moment, before the older doctor finally broke the bad news. "But I might have to revoke that time off for your honeymoon."

Simon knew the man's statement should have caused a bit of alarm, but with the alcohol coursing through his veins, the best he could manage was an upraised eyebrow. "What?"

Frowning slightly, Eli leaned towards him and said, "The transport carrying your replacement didn't show up tonight like it was supposed to. I just heard from the hospital. The Chief of Staff is a little nervous letting you go without having someone to pick up the slack for two weeks."

Glad that the low din of conversation in the room had kept this news from Kaylee, Simon sat forward and forced his addled mind to focus. "You're serious, aren't you?"

His frown deepening, Eli told him, "I'm afraid so. But I promise you Simon, I will do everything in my power to let you keep those plans." His eyes shifting just past Simon's shoulder to Kaylee's laughing face, he reiterated, "And I do mean, _everything_."

Nodding once, Simon was about to thank the man when Kaylee's excited tone pulled his attention away from his boss.

xoxoxoxoxo

River watched her brother from across the room. She had joined in the conversation with the rest of her family and friends intermittently throughout the night, but now, she was content to observe them. Of course, it was Simon, his moods, his well-being that she scrutinized most intently.

He was happy. River had never known Simon to feel such unadulterated happiness before. There had been moments, in childhood, adolescence, even once they'd boarded Serenity where he had felt flashes of relief, but never happiness, never full-bodied content as he felt at this moment. And River found herself undeniably grateful for not only Kaylee's presence in her brother's life, but the good fortune they'd had to end up on Serenity in the first place.

"You okay?"

Rafe's light hand against her arm drew her big, brown eyes to his face and River smiled serenely as he took a seat beside her on the small bench. Edging closer, River pressed her thigh to his, dropping her head to his shoulder and nodded. "Yes, I'm fine." Her eyes still focused on her brother, she murmured, "He's so happy."

Rafe followed her gaze, noting the absolutely euphoric look on the young doctor's face. Glancing to Kaylee's equally ecstatic expression, Rafe murmured, "Well, darlin', I think they both are. Seems they got a lot to be happy about." Leaning away from her a bit so he could look down into her wide eyes, he said softly, "They're in love."

Nodding, River shifted slightly and met his gaze, a small smile finding its way onto her face. "Before you, I didn't understand how Simon could be quite so happy with Kaylee." Her fingers gently ghosting over his stubble-covered chin, she murmured, "I understand now."

Kissing her lightly, Rafe told her, "Glad I could help, jian mei."

Resting her head back on his shoulder, River snuggled in closer and let the peace and tranquility of her happy family wash over her.

xoxoxoxoxo

"'Nara, can you believe it?" Kaylee all but squealed, grasping her friend's hand in excitement as the two of them had finally managed to squirrel themselves away in a corner alone. "I'm gonna be married – to Simon. Ain't it shiny?"

Unable to not share her friend's joy, Inara returned Kaylee's grin and told her, "Yes, mei mei, it's wonderful." Brushing some of the younger woman's hair off her shoulder, Inara added, "I'm so happy, for you both."

Feeling tears of happiness again welling in her eyes, Kaylee flung her arms around her friend and hugged her tight. "I'm so glad you're here, 'Nara. It's all so excitin'."

Patting her back, Inara allowed her friend's joy to infuse her spirit. Kaylee's enthusiasm had always been infectious, but given the uncertainty and strain of the past few weeks on board, Inara found herself more grateful for it now than ever before.

Leaning back from her friend, Inara glanced across the room to Mal and Simon, the former doing his best to engage the obviously inebriated doctor in some kind of bet. "You seem happy here, Kaylee."

It was a statement, not a question and Kaylee caught on to the slight wistfulness in her friend's tone as she studied Inara's suddenly serious features. Resting a light hand to her arm, Kaylee answered, "Yeah, 'Nara. I am, real happy. I thought for sure I'd be bored to tears, but since I started at the orphanage, it ain't been so bad."

Inara's eyes snapped up at Kaylee's mention of the children's home and she did her best to control her anxiety. "Yes, the orphanage. So, you like it there?"

Nodding, Kaylee told her, "Oh yeah, the lil' ones are so sweet. An' they love Simon," she confided, her eyes alighting back to her bao bei's face, a sly grin spreading across her features. It made her all squishy inside when she thought of the way the children swarmed around him when he came to check on them or how his eyes always danced when they told him a joke. "He's gonna be such a great pa."

Pulling her thoughts away from the selfish place they had drifted to, Inara patted her friend's hand and told her, "It will happen, Kaylee. Just be patient."

"I'm done bein' patient, 'Nara." Kaylee's tone had hardened in seconds and she let a bit of her annoyance show through as she looked back at her friend. "I wanna be a ma."

Swallowing around the sudden lump in her throat at her friend's heartfelt statement, Inara forced herself to focus on Kaylee. "I know, Kaylee and you will be the best mother ever, I know that. Just give it time. Things like that can't be forced."

Sighing wistfully, Kaylee dropped her eyes to her lap and murmured, "I know." Refusing to let anything ruin her happy mood, she straightened her shoulders and brought her gaze back to Simon's face. Remembering the unbelievable thrill of being loved by him, she told her friend, "'Course, Simon an' I, we don't mind the practicin' neither."

Giggling softly, Inara covered her mouth demurely with one hand and added, "I'm sure you don't."

xoxoxoxoxo

It was exceptionally late by the time Kaylee and Simon literally stumbled back to their apartment. Whether it was truly the sake still affecting his motor skills or just the headiness of being in love, he wasn't certain, but at the moment, he didn't really care. Kaylee helped him into the bedroom, whispering promises of all kinds of passion when she emerged from the bathroom and Simon could only moan softly at her words, kissing her breathless until she finally disentangled herself.

Waiting until he heard the water running, Simon forced himself off the comfortable bed and made his way into the living room, feeling a bit more cogent as the movement got his blood flowing. There was one thing he had to check on before he succumbed to both Kaylee's wiles and the call of sleep.

Flipping on the screen, he waited for it to warm up impatiently, hoping he could confirm that the Fryes had indeed made it to the hotel before Kaylee came out and asked what he was up to. As much as he had loved his surprise party that evening, he knew Kaylee would love his surprise more.

Putting in a wave to the hotel, Simon greeted the concierge with a smile. "Good evening, sir. How may I help you?"

"Yes, I, ah …" Simon swallowed hard and concentrated on not slurring his speech. "I had made reservations for my in-laws. I wanted to be sure they had checked in this evening."

"Name?" the man asked, either oblivious to Simon's struggle or discreetly ignoring it.

"James and Eleanor Frye."

Simon waited as the man tapped at his keyboard. Glancing quickly over his shoulder, he concentrated for a moment and relaxed once he was again assured that Kaylee was still in the bathroom.

"I'm sorry, sir, but they haven't checked in yet."

Snapping his eyes back to the screen, Simon's brow furrowed as concern warred for dominance in his alcohol-ridden brain. "What? Are you sure? Their transport was set to land over four hours ago. It was coming from Persephone."

The man's face blanched and Simon felt his stomach churn uncomfortably. "That transport never landed, sir," the concierge explained. "They're still looking into why. It took off from Persephone on schedule and did not broadwave any alerts or distress signals en route."

Slumping back in the chair, Simon desperately tried not to panic. "Well, it can't have just disappeared," he muttered angrily, lifting his eyes back to the screen.

Still pale, the man told him, "Maybe not, sir, but it appears that it did."

xoxoxoxoxo


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

xoxoxoxoxo

Kaylee finger-combed her hair, humming lightly to herself as she regarded her freshly scrubbed face in the mirror. Leaning in towards the reflective surface, she studied her lips and her cheeks as she murmured giddily, "Mrs. Simon Tam. _Doctor_ and Mrs. Simon Tam. Mrs. Kaylee Tam."

Releasing another squeal, she sighed and whispered, "Shiny," before cinching her robe around her waist and exiting the bathroom with a grand flourish. "You ready for some pre-marital-" Her statement died on her lips as she realized Simon was no longer waiting for her. Disappointed, Kaylee pouted mightily as she wandered into the living room, calling, "Simon? What's goin' on?"

He didn't answer her, which caused a bit of her disappointment to fade into concern. Quickening her pace, a bit afraid that he might have passed out on his way to get a drink or something, she stopped abruptly as she caught sight of him at the wave screen, his posture full of tension as he spoke in a hushed tone to someone she could not see.

Crossing her arms over her chest, she asked softly, "Simon?"

Turning sharply at the sound of her voice, Simon's eyes held the anxiety she had feared. Looking back to the screen as Kaylee stepped fully into the room and hurried to his side, Simon quickly ended the connection and turned to face her.

"What?" she asked, stepping between his legs, her hands resting on his shoulders. "What is it? What s'matter?"

Placing his hands on her waist, Simon sighed heavily, silently cursing the power sake had over him. This would be so much easier to deal with if a headache wasn't forming behind his eyes. "Kaylee," he said patiently, forcing his eyes to hers and instantly regretting it. Those big, trusting eyes could easily render him speechless and they'd just done it again.

"Simon, you're scarin' me," she breathed, her hands clutching at his shoulders as her concern ebbed into fear.

"Bao bei, there's a chance, a very good chance, that nothing's wrong," he told her honestly, moving one of his hands to rest against her cheek. "We won't really know for sure until the morning."

"Won't know what for sure?" Kaylee's voice had grown shrill and her heart raced as she began to truly panic. "What is it?"

Swallowing hard, Simon rose and gently guided Kaylee to the couch. He knew that regardless of how much or how little information they had, Kaylee would not take this news well, and the last thing he wanted was for her to faint and possibly injure herself.

Once they were seated, Simon took another deep breath and met her gaze steadily. "Kaylee, your parents, I arranged all of their travel plans."

Nodding once, Kaylee murmured, "I know. They're comin' in tomorrow night."

Smiling softly, Simon admitted, "No, Kaylee. I wanted to – I wanted to surprise you, so I … I made arrangements for them to come in tonight instead."

Her anxiety giving way to happiness, Kaylee felt a smile turn up the corners of her mouth. Edging closer to him, Kaylee placed a hand over his heart and whispered, "You did? Ya did that for me?"

Taking her hand in his, Simon kissed it and told her, "Yes, but not just your parents. I arranged for your brothers and their wives and most of your aunts and uncles to come. Anyone you've ever mentioned you wanted at the wedding."

Tears forming in the bottom of her big eyes, Kaylee hugged him tightly. "Oh, Simon," she breathed. "That's so thoughtful. I can't believe they're all gonna …"

As Simon inhaled sharply at her words, Kaylee instantly pulled back, her worried gaze meeting his conflicted one. "Somethin' happened, din' it?"

"I've already called Mal. We're going to do everything we can."

Fisting her hands in his shirt, Kaylee's voice turned desperate as she felt more fear grip her heart, speeding up her pulse. "Do what? What happened, Simon?"

"Please, Kaylee," he whispered, cradling her face in his hands. "It's going to be fine." Before Kaylee could demand again, he finally admitted, "The transport that your family was set to arrive on, it didn't land tonight as it was scheduled. No one's heard from it since it left Persephone about a day ago."

Kaylee's head swam as she felt her stomach fall away, her heart racing. Her family, her whole family – they were supposed to be here in just a few hours, supposed to be here to celebrate the most important day of her life and now they were just …

Blinking past tears, she murmured, "Oh God, Simon. It coulda been Reavers. They got hit by Reavers." Tears fell unbidden from her eyes as the horror of Miranda floated back into her consciousness.

"Kaylee, we don't know that," Simon assured, pulling her to him. "If it had been Reavers this close to the core, we would have heard by now. I'm sure it's just something else. Maybe they're just off schedule."

"That ain't it." Kaylee's voice was broken with tears even as she tried to fight them back. She knew it wouldn't do anyone any good for her to panic, but she couldn't help it. "You know that ain't it or you wouldn't o' called Mal in the middle of the night."

Simon's only response was to hold her tighter, knowing that any other kind of reassurance would be met with more disbelief. Of _course_ that wasn't it – transports full of civilians did not randomly fall off the grid en route to a central planet like Sihnon. There was an explanation and Simon knew beyond a shadow of a doubt it was not a good one.

As Kaylee did her best to control her tears, Simon simply continued to rub circles along her back, trying to soothe her. "Kaylee, let's get some rest. Mal promised to call if he found out anything tonight."

"I can't sleep," she told him hotly, pushing away and wiping at her cheeks. As Simon sat slightly dumbfounded, she rose swiftly and headed for the kitchen, muttering something to herself that Simon could not make out.

He sat still for a moment, listening as the sound of dishes clinking in the sink and running water filled their apartment. Rubbing a hand along the back of his neck, he took a few deep breaths, trying to push away his own guilt at his part in all of this and thinking of what Kaylee needed from him. He could only guess how upset she was; he couldn't sit by and watch her suffer.

Rising slowly, Simon steeled himself, knowing Kaylee would need all of his strength, at least until they found out for sure what had happened. Rounding the corner into the kitchen, he stopped short at the sight before him.

Kaylee was leaning heavily on the edge of the sink, her body hunched over, her shoulders shaking slightly as she cried silent tears. Unaware of his presence, she sank to her knees, her legs no longer able to support her.

Rushing to her side, Simon caught her in his arms, easily holding her up. "It's bad, Simon," she wailed. "I know it is. They're dead, ain't they?"

"Shh, Kaylee." Simon smoothed her hair back from her face, swinging her up into his arms in one swift motion. "We don't know that, bao bei. We don't know anything. We just have to wait to hear from Mal."

Crying softly against his shoulder, Kaylee hugged her arms around his neck, holding tight. Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he walked them back to the bedroom, placing Kaylee under the covers, before retrieving a smoother from the bathroom.

Returning to her side, Simon quickly administered the drug, even as she protested. Smoothing his hand through her hair, Simon told her, "Kaylee, you need rest. It won't do you any good to exhaust yourself." Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he whispered, "You have to get plenty of sleep before the wedding."

"The weddin'," she sniffed, her voice barely more than a whisper as the strong medicine took effect. Within another second, her long eyelashes had fluttered closed against her cheeks and Simon felt a heavy breath of release rush forth from his lungs.

Unable to sleep and unwilling to self-medicate, Simon found himself lying awake beside her, waiting for Mal to call.

xoxoxoxoxo

River awoke in a panic, panting as fear and pain gripped her heart. Wrapping her arms around herself, she rocked back and forth a bit, trying to clear the confusion from her mind so she could find the root of it. Muttering under her breath, her hair swinging back and forth across her face and shoulders, she jumped slightly as she felt a light hand on her arm.

Rafe was propped up on one elbow, regarding her with concerned eyes. "What is it, Riv?" he asked softly, his voice still thick with sleep.

Meeting his gaze, River blinked back tears and whispered, "Kaylee."

Before Rafe could inquire further, he heard the sound of a knock on their hotel room door. Knowing now that whatever had awoken River was much more than just a nightmare, he hurried out of bed, pulling on a t-shirt as he headed to answer it.

Greeting Mal and Zoe, both of them looking remarkably awake for the time of night, Rafe said quickly, "Cap'n, Zoe," before ushering them inside and closing the door. Turning to call for River, Rafe stopped abruptly as he nearly ran into her. "Ai ren, what're you-"

"Have to see Badger," River interrupted, her gaze focused on Mal. "He can get answers."

Dropping his chin to his chest, Mal released a string of Mandarin that caused Zoe to avert her gaze. "Somehow I knew you was gonna say that." Bringing his eyes up to study River, Mal told her earnestly, "Look, lil' one, Kaylee's frettin' somethin' fierce. Is there anythin' you can tell her, help ease her mind?"

River's eyes came over all distant and Rafe got the distinct impression that she had suddenly transported herself halfway across the 'verse.

Shivering violently after a minute, River's eyes pooled with tears as she shook her head. "There's nothing. I can't."

Laying a hand on her shoulder, Mal told her softly, "It's okay, albatross, not to fret." Glancing to Rafe, the younger man got the hint and he moved quickly to River's side wrapping an arm around her waist even as she stiffened slightly in his hold.

Satisfied that River would be taken care of, Mal looked to Zoe and told her curtly, "Guess we got us a weasel to call."

Frowning as she followed him out of the room, Zoe asked, "Ain't that a badger, sir?"

Flattening his lips into a thin line, Mal muttered dryly, "Don't really matter. They're both rodents."

xoxoxoxoxo

"Reynolds? You got any idea what the 'ell time it is?"

Badger looked none to pleased, which brought Mal just a touch of pleasure. His expression impassive, Mal commented, "Oh, c'mon, Badge. I think it's time to admit defeat on the whole beauty sleep concept."

Scowling, the man tipped his bowler – why the hell was he wearing that thing in the middle of the night anyway? – and threatened, "You gonna insult me I could jus' get back to it."

"Now, now, hold on there," Mal tried to placate, holding up a hand. Taking a deep breath, he tried to rein in his impatience with the excrement on the screen before him. "Look, I did call for a purpose an' it's a bit of an important one."

"Oh well, if it's fer helpin' my fellow man," Badger said, spreading his arms in a grandiose gesture. "By all means."

"A transport went missin', 'bout seven hours ago. It originated on Harvest an' had a stop off on Persephone, bout a day ago."

Leaning towards the screen, Mal did his best not to recoil as Badger's less-than-attractive features were magnified. "What's it to you? Last time I checked, you were pretty below board, Reynolds. Can't 'magine a lowdown criminal like yourself would be needin' folks on a registered transport."

Frowning, Mal bit his tongue in an effort not to curse the man from Sihnon to the outer rim. "How 'bout we keep the whats and whyfores to ourselves, an' you jus' find my gorram transport?"

"No need to be tetchy, Capt'n." Badger sat back in his chair, his hands clasped before him, his posture straight as if these few gestures could fool anyone, especially Mal, into thinking he was at all respectable. Glancing off screen for a moment, Badger nodded at some unseen colleague and then readdressed Mal. "Could be I can find somethin' for you. O' course, it's gonna cost. Can't be peddlin' that kind of information for nothin'. Man's gotta live."

"Yeah, a man," Mal snorted derisively, shaking his head. Zoe's almost imperceptible clearing of her throat signaled to Mal that he was still walking a fine line between alienating and enlisting the man. Forcing his face into a blank expression, Mal told him, "What's yer price, Badger?"

"Ten thousand."

Knowing he was gaping like a fish, Mal stammered, "Ten thousand? Are you crazy? Where we gonna get that kind o' coin?"

"Well that ain't quite my problem now, is it?" Sitting back and smiling ingratiatingly, Badger told him, "Tick tock, cap. Cases like this, time's somethin' you can't afford to be wastin'."

"Right, time. Thanks Badger, so great to see ya," Mal muttered before flicking off the wave with an angry grunt. "Unbelievable," he shouted, slamming his fist against the console.

"Sir, we can get the money," Zoe reminded him, not surprised when he looked to her with blazing blue eyes.

"Really, Zo? From where? The gorram tooth fairy?" Mal stalked off in a huff, heading off the bridge and towards the cargo bay. They'd come back to the ship to make the wave, uncertain whether or not the hotel's cortex links could be trusted.

Falling into step behind him, Zoe told him, "No, from Simon. In case you missed it, the doc's making some pretty decent money at the moment."

Pausing in mid-step for only a second, Mal was glad Zoe could not see the look of hurt pride that flashed across his face. If there was one thing Mal Reynolds was not it was a beggar. Regardless that he'd be asking for money to help Kaylee, Simon's soon-to-be wife, the thought of asking the boy at all turned his stomach.

"Yeah," he murmured, quickening his pace down the stairs. "Money."

xoxoxoxoxo

It was very early when Simon was awakened from his restless sleep by the chime of their front door. Glancing over quickly to Kaylee, he released a breath of relief as she stirred slightly, but did not wake. The longer she slept, the better he'd feel.

Rolling out of bed, he was painfully aware of his rumpled appearance, having not even changed out of his dress clothes from the night before. Running a hand through his hair, he answered the door, hoping it was someone with good news.

"Inara," he said, inviting her in. She moved inside in her usual graceful way, gesturing with the basket she held.

"I brought breakfast. I thought you and Kaylee should eat something." Inara glanced about the apartment and asked, "Where is Kaylee?"

Blushing slightly, Simon moved past her and headed to the kitchen, his friend following. "I gave her a smoother last night. I wanted to be sure she got some sleep."

"Ah," Inara said softly, moving about the familiar space as Simon seemed to have lost any energy the minute he'd entered the room. Setting down the food, she began to unpack it and added, "It was probably the right thing to do, Simon." Glancing to his haggard appearance, she smiled softly and said, "You were only doing what's best for her."

"I hope she realizes that when she wakes up," Simon muttered, his eyes intently studying the tabletop. Shaking his guilt away, he looked to Inara as she brought him a steaming cup of coffee. "Have you heard anything from Mal?"

Shaking her head, she told him, "No, not since he and Zoe left River. She mentioned something about Badger."

"Wo de ma he ta de feng kuang de wai sheng dou," Simon muttered fiercely. "You've got to be kidding? _Badger_?"

Sharing his opinion of the shady little man, Inara told him, "Yes, Badger. Apparently, River said he might have answers."

Pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, Simon murmured, "River. I should probably-"

"Rafe is with her." Inara's quiet statement struck him deeper than he'd expected and Simon looked to her sharply as she placed a plate of fresh fruit before him before taking a seat. "She'll be fine, Simon. I'm sure they'll be by in just a bit."

Taking a sip of his coffee, Simon smiled into his mug. "I guess I have to get used to no longer being the most important man in her life."

Squeezing his hand, Inara smiled and said, "It had to happen sometime."

The sound of the door interrupted his next comment and Simon stiffened even as Inara hurried to answer it. Following her out to the living room, Simon rushed to Mal as the older man appeared from the entryway. "Well?" he demanded, his tone harsher than he'd intended.

Holding up a hand, Mal told him, "Easy there, son. Badger might know somethin', but he ain't gonna tell us nothin' without some coin."

Frowning, Simon commented dryly, "You're kidding? How much does he want?"

"Ten thousand," Mal said, trying to hide his grimace.

"Done." Simon's answer was so sure, so immediate it caused Mal to pause for a moment. Watching as Simon crossed his arms over his chest, Mal stuttered, "Well, all right then."

Glancing to the wave screen behind them, Simon ordered, "Make the call." Looking over his shoulder in the direction he knew Kaylee to be, Simon looked back to Mal and told him, "We have to know something before Kaylee wakes up."

Placing a heavy hand to the younger man's shoulder, Mal held his gaze steadily and told him, "Look, Simon, Kaylee's my family too, dong ma? Whatever I can do, I'm gonna do it."

Offering the man a small smile, Simon acknowledged, "I know and I appreciate it."

As Mal moved to call Badger back, the door rang again and Zoe answered it, allowing Rafe and River into the room, Jayne following a few minutes later. River rushed into Simon's arms, hugging him tightly. "It'll be okay, Simon."

"You don't know that, mei mei," Simon countered, looking into her eyes. "I can tell by the fear in your eyes."

Ducking her head, River felt a small blush creep up her cheeks. "You and the captain are the only ones who can tell when I'm faking."

Sighing softly, Simon admitted, "Well, that's actually a bit of a comfort. I'm glad Rafe doesn't know all your secrets."

Pouting slightly, River met his gaze with pleading eyes. "Not now, Simon, please?"

Kissing her on the cheek, Simon nodded. "You're right. I promise to give him a chance though."

"Thank you."

"Simon."

Turning sharply at the sound of Kaylee's soft voice, Simon moved to her side in a second, his arm around her shoulders as she lazily rubbed sleep from her eyes. He knew the aftereffects of the smoother could delay her alertness. "What's happenin'?"

"We've got a lead, bao bei," Simon told her, guiding her to the couch. Inara met his gaze over Kaylee's head and he nodded once, knowing the older woman had understood the silent communication as she moved to the kitchen to get some food. As they settled onto the sofa, Simon brushed her hair behind her ear and told her, "We've got to be patient and wait until we have more news."

As recognition returned, Kaylee bit her lip, looking to each of her family, already gathered so early in the morning, conveying obvious concern for her. Immediate tears welling in her eyes, she clutched Simon's hand tightly and breathed, "How long?"

Looking helplessly to Mal, Simon silently pleaded the man to give her an answer. Stepping forward, Mal sat on the other side of Kaylee and said quietly, "A few hours, mei mei. Things like this take some time."

"They ain't dead, is they, cap?" Kaylee's shaky voice also held a small sliver of hope and the sound broke Mal's heart. "We'd know right, if'n they was dead?"

"Yeah, mei mei," Mal said softly, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her to his chest. Kaylee sighed and relaxed against him for just a moment, her hand still firmly wrapped in Simon's. "We'd know."

The room was still and quiet, until the sound of the door chime interrupted the silence. Glancing about the room, even as Zoe moved to answer the door, Simon asked, "Who could that be? We're all here."

"Ah, doc?"

Glancing to the first mate as she reentered the room, Simon's face fell, his skin paling to an unnatural hue as their new visitors came into view. "Mother?"

"Simon, dear." Regan swept in, Gabriel following closely behind and moved to her son. Rising on unsteady feet, Simon hugged the woman absentmindedly, as his mother greeted him. "Oh, it's so wonderful to see you." Glancing about the room as she stepped back from him, Regan stated evenly, "Good to see all of you, actually." Looking back to Simon, she asked, "Isn't it a bit early for brunch?"

"I, ahh …" Simon's mouth was suddenly dry. He wondered how many other things might go wrong in the next day or so and then realized thoughts like that could only lead to more trouble. "We're-"

"Kaylee? Darling?" Ignoring her inarticulate son, Regan stepped past him and sat beside Kaylee who was staring at she and Gabriel both with a vacant expression. "Are you feeling all right, dear?" Pressing a hand to her forehead and checking for a fever, Regan added, "You don't look well." Shifting her eyes back to her son, she stated, "In fact, both of you look a little worse for wear."

Frowning, Simon muttered, "Thank you, mother." Moving towards her, he took her by the elbow and tugged her, none to gently, to her feet. "Can I talk with you for a moment?"

"Simon," Regan scolded softly, moving with him towards the balcony as he headed determinedly in that direction. River followed him with their father, and the family did their best to ignore the uncomfortable looks of the crew.

Once they were safely outside, Simon faced his parents and said without ceremony, "You're early."

Crossing his arms over his chest, Gabriel ignored the comment and asked, "What's going on, Simon? Something's happened."

Releasing a heavy sigh, Simon admitted, "The transport carrying Kaylee's entire family disappeared last night. We're trying to figure out what went wrong."

"Oh Simon." Regan's hand flew to her mouth, her eyes filling with fear and compassion at this revelation. "How is that possible?"

"We don't know, mother." Simon already felt his body flagging under the added strain of having to entertain his parents. He had after all only gotten a few hours of sleep.

"We have just as many questions," River interjected, stepping forward and addressing her parents. "We're doing all we can to answer them. This is obviously very stressful for Kaylee and Simon both."

"Of course it is," Regan empathized. Moving past Simon, Regan headed inside while murmuring, "That poor girl."

Sharing a worried look, the Tam siblings hurried after her, hoping to intercept her before their mother stuck her nose somewhere it didn't belong. "Mother, please," Simon begged, as he managed to insert himself in her path. "Neither Kaylee nor I got a lot of sleep last night. And we just …" Looking to Kaylee's pained face as Inara tried to coax her into eating, Simon gazed back to his mother and pleaded, "Please give us some space."

Holding her son's gaze, Regan told him, "Simon, I promise not to meddle, but we need to make some decisions, darling. The wedding is scheduled for less than twenty-four hours from now. If we're going to cancel, we need to get the word out as soon as possible."

"Mother, most people are not even awake yet," River reminded her. Waiting until her mother pulled her gaze from Simon, she added, "We have a bit of time."

Sighing, Regan nodded, "I suppose you're right." Looking to Gabriel, she asked him quietly, "Is there anything we can do?"

"Why don't I talk with the captain for a bit and you can see if these fine folks need anything to eat?" Gabriel's calm demeanor and immediate plan of action seemed to help calm both Regan and Simon.

Smiling softly, River took her mother's arm and guided her towards the kitchen, while Gabriel moved to speak with Mal. As the captain vacated his seat next to Kaylee on the couch, Simon sat back beside her, his arm around her shoulders. Curling into him, Kaylee murmured, "What're we gonna do 'bout all them people comin' to the weddin'? We can't just –"

"Shh, Kaylee, it'll be all right." Simon pressed a kiss into her hair and added, "We'll figure it out once we have some news, okay?"

Nodding slightly, Kaylee cuddled into him and released a heavy sigh, tuning out the sounds of light conversation around her so she could focus solely on not losing her mind.

xoxoxoxoxo


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

xoxoxoxoxo

"_Kaywinnet Lee Frye, you get back 'ere righ' now!"_

_Sweat pouring off her forehead, seven-year-old Kaylee scrambled up the ladder in the barn, basically throwing herself into a pile of hay. Curling into a ball, she peered back over the edge, scouting the space below for her mother and the angry wooden spoon she had clutched in her hand and breathed a sigh of relief when the coast appeared to be clear._

_Flopping back into the soft, but itchy fiber, Kaylee panted a bit, wiping her sweaty hair off her face and neck. Summer's on Harvest for so gorram hot; even with her shorts and tank top on she was still burning up._

"_What'd ya do?"_

_Sitting up abruptly, her big, green eyes wide with fear that she'd been caught, Kaylee glanced to her side and took in the sight of her eldest brother. His lean, fourteen-year-old frame was propped up on one elbow as he regarded her with his usual gaze, a cross between bemusement and brotherly annoyance._

_Blushing furiously and hoping that the slight sunburn she'd gotten that morning would hide it, Kaylee glanced to her lap, her fingers absentmindedly twirling a piece of straw. "Nothin'," she murmured sullenly._

_Swinging his legs underneath him, Martin Frye, more commonly known as Marty, cocked his head to one side and regarded his little, albeit, not quite innocent sister. She was always managing to get into some trouble or the other, although at the moment he was just thankful she hadn't roped him into getting the blame. Sitting cross-legged and eyeing her steadily, he told her, "Uh-huh." As Kaylee's wide eyes alit back to his face with a mix of shock and hurt, he reminded her, "Mama don't go 'round brandishin' spoons for no reason."_

_Sighing heavily, little Kaylee new the jig was up. "Well, I mighta took apart the toaster," she admitted finally, her eyes shining as she remembered all the little pieces she uncovered. "But when I put it back together, I had some parts left over." Glancing over her shoulder with a wistful sigh, she added, "Mama ain't too happy 'bout there bein' extras."_

_Marty tried hard not to chuckle outright at his sister's story, but it was useless and he knew it. As a laugh erupted from deep in his belly, he leaned forward on his knees and dropped a kiss into his sister's hair. "You are amazin', Kay-Kay, I'll give ya that." As she regarded him with a look of slight confusion, Marty asked seriously, "Does the toaster still work?"_

_One of the biggest grins on any planet lit her face as she nodded proudly. "Yup, works great. Better even, those little bits I took out was jus' muckin' it up."_

_Returning the smile, Marty scooted past her, swinging his legs over the side of the loft and reaching for the ladder. "Well all right then. Let's go tell mama that."_

_Shaking her head fearfully, Kaylee backed away from the hand he offered her. "Nuh-uh, mama's gonna hit me."_

_Taking her hand in his, her brother offered her a warm grin, one that had always eased any of Kaylee's fears and assured her, "She ain't mei mei, I promise you. All right?"_

_Frowning slightly, Kaylee debated. She knew that Marty would protect her, not that mama's hits were normally anything to truly fear. The woman loved her children something fierce and so, if she felt she must discipline them, it was normally a few whacks to the backside and then all was forgiven. But considering that Kaylee had been scolded just the day before for staying out past dark, her behind could use the break._

_Squeezing his hand, Kaylee sighed. "All right," and followed him down the ladder._

xoxoxoxoxo

Inara found Mal brooding on Simon and Kaylee's balcony. Soon after the arrival of the Tams, he had drifted from the group, his nervous pacing difficult to contain in the confines of the living room. Frowning slightly at his hunched back, she stepped up beside him, resting a light hand to his shoulder.

"Why's stuff like this gotta happen?" he asked her softly before she even had time to speak. His gaze still fixed on the skyline, now glistening in the morning sun, Mal murmured, "And why Kaylee? She don't deserve this."

"Badger will find something out, Mal." Inara's tone conveyed a level of confidence she only wished she felt. "Kaylee and her family will be reunited before we know it."

"And if they ain't?" The question wasn't harsh, but the pure lack of hope in his voice made Inara's breath catch in her throat.

"You can't think that way, Mal," she scolded softly, resting her head against his shoulder. "It's not going to do anyone any good to lose hope."

Snorting softly, Mal swallowed down his comment about the uselessness of hope. Baiting Inara now wouldn't do him any good either; she was only trying to help.

"Sir?"

They both turned at the sound of Zoe's quiet interjection. Raising an eyebrow to her, Mal asked, "Badger?"

Nodding once, the woman answered, "He thinks he might have somethin'."

Rushing back into the room, Mal sat in front of the screen, the rest of his crew, including Simon and Kaylee crowding around him. The Tams were in the background, more than repulsed by the marginality of the man their son and his friends had turned to for help.

"What's the good word, Badger?" Mal asked tightly, still peeved he had to rely on the miscreant before him.

"Well, I got a couple o' words, but I wouldn't call any of 'em good." His beady eyes roving over the faces that crowded the screen, a lewd grin spread across his features as he caught sight of River. "Hallo there, luv. Long time, no see."

River could feel Rafe's blood pressure rising and almost smiled at the jealousy he felt. No one had ever felt that way about her before, except for Simon and he didn't count.

"'allo, guv'ner," she responded, her voice a perfect imitation of his accent. "Still a sad little king."

His face colored with a bit of anger as River's words registered and Badger immediately focused back to Mal. "Where's my money?"

"We already wired it to your account, same as the cuts from other jobs," Mal assured him, hiding his smirk at the satisfaction of watching River annoy the man. "Where's our info?"

Lifting up a data sheet from the table in front of him, Badger held it to the screen, knowing that the captain and his crew could not possibly read the words that flashed across it. "Sorry to say, cap'n, but word on the street is your precious transport got hit by slavers."

Kaylee's gasp of fright filled the room at Badger's admission and it was only the presence of Simon's strong arm around her waist that kept her on her feet. Quickly steering her away from the screen, Simon guided her to the sofa, settling her down beside Inara who had come to help. Nodding his thanks to the older woman, Simon swiftly moved back across the room, a set expression on his handsome features as Badger continued his tale.

"'Parently, there's been some activity last couple o' months. Big ship, waitin' jus' offa Persephone." Grinning slyly, Badger added, "Not that I would o' known anythin' 'bout it previous."

Setting his jaw firmly, Mal resisted the urge to curse. "You got anythin' useful I might use to track these slavers or you jus' gonna try and impress me with your stunnin' head fer business?"

Tsking softly, Badger sat back and told him smugly, "Deal was, I find out what happened. Din't say nothin' 'bout rattin' out my fine colleagues."

Gripping the edge of the console before him, Mal bit out, "That ten thousand we gave ya is more than enough for a name, Badge. Don't make me regret our lil' arrangement."

Shaking his head, Badger's eyes actually sparkled with the knowledge that he had Mal by a very sensitive part of his anatomy. "I don't really think you're in any position to be making such demands. Do you?"

"Mal," Simon hissed, risking the older man's wrath as he shot him an annoyed look. "We'll pay it. Just get the information."

Grimacing, Mal felt his stomach churn at the thought of lining Badger's pockets any further. Looking back to their associate, Mal warned, "Another ten thousand for everything else you know, Badger. An' I mean _everything_."

Smiling broadly, Badger nodded once. "Done. Best we do the rest in person though. Wouldn't want any unsavory folk overhearin' our business, now would we?" As Mal did his best to form a response that did not belittle Badger's lineage, the small, Irish man looked to River with another lascivious grin. "Hope to see you soon, luv. Been a long time."

Before anyone could respond, the screen blinked off and an audible sigh swept through the room. Glancing to Zoe and Jayne, Mal got nods of approval from them both. He knew they would follow him, knew they would help in any way possible for Kaylee's sake, but it was still nice to get some reassurance.

Rising, Mal turned to his second-in-command and told her, "We're leavin' in an hour. You an' Jayne get the ship prepped, an' take Rafe with ya." Addressing his mechanic, Mal tried to ignore the exceptionally pale and slightly green look on his face. "I'm gonna need you to be sure we're gettin' all the speed outta her that we can, dong ma?"

"Yes sir," he answered, glancing to River as she squeezed his hand.

Smiling softly, she held his gaze for a moment, before looking to Mal. "I'm coming with you."

Returning her grin, Mal squeezed her shoulder. "You bet, darlin'."

A few goodbyes were murmured amongst the gathered assemblage and the departing crew promised to be safe and careful as well. Once Zoe, Rafe and Jayne had departed, Mal returned to the living room, sitting on the low table in front of where Kaylee was curled up on the sofa.

Her eyes had gone distant again, the normally bright and shining orbs dull to a point that caused Mal to feel more anger than sadness. No one should have the power to take Kaylee's light away. Reaching out a hand, he patted her knee gently and waited the interminable seconds until she brought her gaze to his face. "I'm gonna get 'em back, mei mei. We're gonna go see Badger an' find out where your family is, dong ma?"

Swallowing noticeably, Kaylee nodded once, taking Mal's hand in her own and squeezing it hard. "Thanks, Cap." Pausing for a moment as more unspoken words passed between them, Kaylee rose abruptly, startling them all as she moved towards the bedroom. "Jus' give me a minute to get my things together."

Alarm was evident on everyone's face, but Simon's look was the most heartbreaking. Moving swiftly to catch her, he placed a hand on her arm and turned Kaylee to face him, gulping audibly as he recognized the set expression on her face. Instead of lifeless, her eyes were now burning with a small fire he knew could easily erupt into a blaze. "Bao bei, what are you talking about? Mal and the others are going to take Serenity and find your parents."

Nodding once, Kaylee explained obviously, "Right. An' I'm goin' with 'em."

"No, you ain't," Mal said firmly from his position behind Simon. Arms crossed over his chest and a stern expression on his face, he held her angry gaze unflinchingly. "Sorry, Kaylee, but you're stayin' here."

Matching his posture, Kaylee bit out, "It's my family, Cap. You got no right tellin' me I can't come."

"You ain't a member o' my crew anymore," Mal retaliated, cursing silently as he watched all the fight Kaylee had managed to muster leave her. He literally saw her deflate before his eyes, her shoulders sagging, her arms falling slackly to her sides as her eyes burned with sadness now instead of anger. "I got me a mechanic, an' I ain't takin' any passengers on this trip."

Simon listened to Mal's words, grateful that the man had managed to reason with Kaylee, even though he knew it was killing the captain in ways he'd never express to be so harsh with her. Dropping his eyes to the floor, Simon took a deep breath and then lifted his gaze back to Kaylee's distraught face. Taking a tentative step forward, he rested a cheek to her face, and told her, "Besides, we have to decide what to do about the wedding. My mother will need your help for that."

Still staring at the captain with a gaze that could bring Niska to tears, Kaylee murmured, "I don't care what we do."

The words stung more than they should have and Simon forced his immediate reaction back. Gently caressing her soft skin with his thumb, he told her, "I know you don't mean that."

Snapping her eyes to his, Kaylee stepped back from him and muttered harshly, "Don't tell me what I mean, Simon. I don't care 'bout our weddin' or any o' the rest of it. I just want my family back." Turning away in a huff, Kaylee stalked towards their room, slamming the door shut behind her and leaving a stunned crowd in her wake.

Rubbing a hand along the back of his neck tiredly, Simon released a heavy sigh, trying not to let his despair overwhelm him.

"She'll be okay," River told him softly, her voice startlingly close.

Catching her drawn face out of the corner of his eye, Simon murmured, "You're lying again, mei mei. I can tell."

Shaking her head once, River reiterated, "No, Simon, she will." Shifting her gaze to a point just over his shoulder, she paused for a moment, all eyes in the room on her. Drawing her far-off look back to her brother, she added, "There's more, but I can't put my finger on it, but Kaylee will be okay." Resting a hand to his shoulder, she smiled softly and added, "That I know."

Grateful beyond words for her reassurance, Simon hugged her close and whispered, "Thank you."

As the siblings said their goodbyes and then moved to the living room to answer their parents' multitude of questions, Mal and Inara stayed in the hallway. Mal's intense gaze had not wavered from Kaylee's closed bedroom door and Inara could only imagine how much his words to their ex-mechanic had hurt him.

Placing a hand to his arm, Inara told him softly, "She's just upset Mal. She'll get over it."

The tightness in his throat made speech impossible. Telling Kaylee she wasn't a part of his crew was like asking somebody not to breathe – it hurt him, physically, as well as emotionally. And the look of pain and hurt that flashed in her big eyes made him regret ever thinking it, let alone saying it. It didn't matter much to Mal if she ever got over it, he wasn't very certain that he would.

Pulling his eyes from the door, Mal looked to her and nodded grimly. "Yeah, sure, I know." Reaching for her, Inara allowed him to pull her into an embrace, sighing softly as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. "We'll be back soon as we can, all right?"

"Be safe, Mal, please." She had seen him off on too many jobs to get teary over it once again, but it didn't stop her heart from fluttering a bit with anxiety. "Come back to me, all right?"

"And risk your wrath if I don't?" he teased, the forced lightness in his tone not lost on Inara. "You got it, darlin'," he whispered before pressing a quick kiss to her mouth. Inara wanted to turn it into something more, an inexplicable fear gripping her heart the minute he turned to leave, but swallowing back her discomfort, she simply held her fingers over her lips and watched him go.

"Slavers? That's impossible." Regan's eyes were wide and disbelieving as Simon and River did their best to explain the extent of their current situation. Both children knew this would be almost impossible for their mother to comprehend. Well-bred and distinguished families like the Tams and their friends were not normally exposed to such unpleasantness.

Glancing fearfully to her husband, Gabriel's stoic expression was predictable but welcome considering the panic that had consumed his wife. "What can we do?" he asked stiffly, his voice belying none of his concern at this turn of events. "If you need any money at all-"

"I have plenty, father, thank you." Simon's tone was a bit stronger than he'd intended, but he was past the point of caring. Kaylee had just admitted she didn't care about their wedding and his planning had caused her entire family to fall into the hands of kidnappers – not his best day ever. "We're handling it."

"Well, yes dear, of course you are. But there must be more we can do." Regan looked between her two children and then stepped towards River. "I know. River, why don't you and I see to Kaylee and help contact the attendees about postponing the wedding?"

Smiling softly, River gently removed her mother's hand from her arm and told her, "I'm sorry, mother, but I'm the pilot. I have to go."

"After slavers?" Gabriel's harsh tone left nothing to the imagination. "I forbid it."

As both children raised identical eyebrows, it was River who spoke first. "Sorry, father, but that's not your place. I'm a grown woman now. And more of a threat to any slavers than anyone else on Serenity's crew."

Strongly disliking the turn this conversation had taken both Regan and Gabriel averted River's steady gaze. The young reader tried to ignore the fear she felt ebbing out of them at the reminder of her abilities, but it wasn't easy, especially not with so many other raw emotions swirling about. Taking a step back, her face must have paled for Simon's concern was instantly evident.

"Mei mei?" he asked urgently, taking her hand in his. "Are you all right?"

Smiling weakly, River straightened and forced her voice to be even. "Fine, Simon." Glancing behind her as Mal reentered the room she hugged her brother quickly and told him, "Everything will be all right. Trust me."

Closing his eyes as he held her back, Simon whispered, "Be careful, River, please." Pulling away, he again looked in her eyes and added, "I love you."

"Love you," River promised, pressing a kiss to his cheek before moving to quickly say goodbye to her parents.

As she stepped away, Mal came forward, his expression a mixture of regret and anger. "Sorry 'bout your weddin', doc," he told the younger man sincerely. "As soon as we can get back, we will."

Simon nodded once and warned, "Just make sure all of you come back, all right?"

Smirking at the comment, Mal's eyes guiltily drifted back down the hallway in Kaylee's general direction. "Listen," he began quietly. Pulling his blue eyes back to Simon's face, the doctor was surprised at the amount of conflict he saw reflected in the man's gaze. "When you talk to her, tell 'er that I-"

"She already knows you didn't mean it," Simon assured, his tone firm. "She knows you were just looking out for her."

Sighing, Mal muttered, "I hope so." As River moved back to his side, Mal spared one more look to Inara, flashing his famous lopsided grin and then headed for the door. "C'mon albatross, we gotta go shake down a Badger."

xoxoxoxoxo

"Simon, what do you want us to do about the wedding?"

Regan was trying desperately to keep her son focused on the task at hand. After everyone else had left, Inara heading back to the hotel to get some rest, the three of them had wandered to the kitchen, Regan trying unsuccessfully to get her son to eat. She and Gabriel were sipping coffee now, occasionally nibbling on a piece of fruit, but for the most part there was silence among them and it was disconcerting.

Blinking rapidly, Simon did his best to pull his mind back to his guests. With a sad expression, he told her, "I don't know, mother. I don't feel it's a decision I can make unilaterally." Glancing over his shoulder, he added, "And until Kaylee unlocks the door, I can't really get her opinion."

Frowning slightly, Regan wondered if she should again try and reason with the young woman. However, Simon's stony gaze and firm 'no' the first time she'd asked still resonated and so she chose instead to keep her seat.

"Well, regardless of what either of you wants to do, we're going to have to start notifying guests that there will be an indeterminate delay." Rising, Regan headed for the exit, telling him, "I'm going to start making calls."

"Mother." His firm tone caused her to pause and preparing for a fight, or at the least a lecture from her young son about her propensity to meddle, she was completely surprised to find him offering her a small smile. "Thank you. Kaylee and I both appreciate that."

Returning his smile with one of her own, Regan turned to head back towards the wave screen and stopped abruptly as she witnessed Kaylee moving purposefully towards the front door. "Kaylee, dear? Are you all right?"

At the sound of Kaylee's name, Simon sprang up from his seat like a shot, almost bowling over his mother as he moved to intercept his fiancée. "Bao bei?" he questioned, reaching her in the entryway. Glancing at her, he noticed that her cheeks were a bit blotchy, no doubt from crying, but that she was showered and dressed and apparently, on a mission. More worried than he cared to admit, Simon asked, "Are you going somewhere?"

Her gaze was not quite angry, but it wasn't all together welcoming either. In an even voice, she explained, "They're expectin' me at the orphanage." Attempting to side step him, Simon easily countered her move.

"Kaylee, I'm sure they'd understand if you called to let them know you'd rather have the day off." As her eyes dropped to the floor, Simon added, "I don't think that-"

"You know what?" The anger Kaylee had been feeling towards the entire situation suddenly bubbled to the surface and although she didn't want to inflict it on Simon, she knew she would. "I'm thinkin' that I wanna go to work. An' seein' as how you already drugged me an' the cap'n pretty much disowned me, I'm done doin' what you all think is best."

Her chest heaving as she fought to put a lid on her anger, Kaylee's gaze burned into Simon's. Her words stung, of course; he hadn't meant to "drug her," only enable her to get some rest. But the accusation paled in comparison to the pain he felt just gazing at her vitriolic features. Seeing her like this, her face screwed up in anger, her eyes blazing, her face blotchy from tears made him hurt, physically, while it also served to make him feel completely useless. Until they found Kaylee's family, there was literally nothing he could do for her, and he knew it.

Without another word, Simon stepped aside and Kaylee stared him down for another minute before moving to the door and leaving in silence. Once she'd gone, Simon slumped against the closest wall, before stalking back to their bedroom and slamming the door. Regan and Gabriel, having witnessed it all, simply shared a sad look, and tried to pretend everything was fine.

xoxoxoxoxo


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

xoxoxoxoxo

"_I weren't never that little."_

_Ellie Frye smiled down at the top of her little girl's head as Kaylee perched herself on her tiptoes, peering down into the crib at the tiny bundle of baby sleeping there._

_Scooping the five-year-old into her arms, Ellie swung her youngest child around, laughing as Kaylee giggled happily. "Oh, yes you were," she teased, tickling the little girl until she was breathless. Exiting the bedroom and moving down the hall towards the kitchen, Ellie set her daughter in a seat as she moved to fix her a snack._

"_You were so tiny, your pa was 'fraid he'd break ya," Ellie told her, smiling big as Kaylee's huge eyes grew larger._

"_No he weren't," she challenged, her voice squeaking slightly. "Daddy's always swingin' me about."_

"_Well, sure, now." Placing a plate of fresh strawberries before the girl, Ellie sat beside her, watching with a feeling of contentment as her baby giddily clapped her hands before reaching for one of the ripe berries and biting into it. Brushing some of her hair behind her ear, Ellie added, "Your pa, he din't know what to do with himself. He fell in love with you second he saw ya. So diff'rent from your brothers."_

_Wrinkling her nose, Kaylee swallowed her most recent bite of fruit and nodded. "Well 'course. They're smelly."_

"_So were you." Tickling the girl's chin, Ellie sat back and watched her as she devoured the half dozen strawberries she'd given her._

_As Kaylee continued to eat, she thought about her nephew, asleep still in the next room and looked back to her mother with wide-eyed innocence. "Marcus ain't gonna smell like that forever is he?" As Ellie stifled a laugh, Kaylee added, "'Cause Billy an' them, they still stink."_

_Throwing her head back, Ellie Frye laughed loud and long, her daughter's sweet giggle soon joining her._

xoxoxoxoxo

"Miss Kaylee!"

Glancing up from her now cold tea, Kaylee's eyes landed on Asher as the little boy bounded across the house's open backyard. His arm, fully healed, was none the worse for wear and the boy was now sporting at least a handful of scrapes and bruises as he transitioned back to being a carefree child.

Forcing a smile to her face, Kaylee turned towards him and opened her arms, just in time for Asher to fling himself into her. "I thought you was gonna be gone for a while," the boy breathed, hugging her tightly.

Fighting back the sudden tears his innocent statement caused, Kaylee swallowed hard and said, "Yeah, well, things changed, so here I am." Pulling back from him, Kaylee cocked an eyebrow and asked, "Why? Ain't you glad to see me?"

Laughing, Asher's face blushed red as he glanced to his feet. "O' course I am," he admitted sheepishly. His embarrassment brought a genuine smile to Kaylee's face and she was grateful to the boy for having the ability to lighten her mood.

"Now," she asked him, sitting back in her seat and inviting him to crawl into her lap. "Why ain't ya playin'?"

"'Cause I wanted to sit with you," he explained obviously, sighing softly as he snuggled into her arms. "Is that okay?"

"Absolutely, baby," Kaylee answered, pressing a kiss to his forehead. She rocked him gently, humming lightly under her breath, doing her best to focus on anything other than her missing family and delayed marriage. She also felt terrible for yelling at Simon when he had, in actuality, only been looking out for her well-being.

Sighing softly, Kaylee rested her cheek against Asher's soft hair, noting the way the boy's eyes drooped as he drifted to sleep. "I guess it's nap time, huh, lil' one?" she murmured, shifting slightly so he sat more comfortably against her.

"I wish you was my ma." Asher's statement was barely more than a whisper, but Kaylee heard it, more unwanted tears springing to her eyes.

"I wish that, too, sweetie," she murmured, not even realizing that the boy wasn't fully asleep.

xoxoxoxoxo

Eli rounded the corner, heading for his office, more than relieved to get a bit of a respite from the crazy day this had turned out to be. He had known for the past six months how lucky he was to have Simon as a member of his staff, but it wasn't until today – Simon's first full day of vacation, that the older doctor had realized how very invaluable the younger man was.

Passing by the nurse's station to drop off a few charts, Eli stopped abruptly, his brow furrowing as he recognized the young doctor reviewing a variety of documents. Concerned more than elated at his sudden appearance, Eli sidled up to him and asked sternly, "Just what do you think you're doing?"

Not even bothering to look up, Simon continued to cross-reference the data before him and answered flatly, "Work."

Now alarmed more than concerned, Eli snatched the charts away, forcing the younger man to look at him. The haggard appearance and tired eyes that looked back at him were enough to cause his worry to skyrocket. Taking Simon by the arm, the older man easily steered him into his office, waiting to demand more answers when Simon was seated and the door closed.

Leaning against his desk, Eli regarded the other man in silence. Simon was fidgeting – he never fidgeted – his fingers absentmindedly picking at his pant leg as he released one heavy sigh after another. Worried for his friend, and the beautiful young woman he was so in love with, Eli leaned forward and questioned, "Simon, what's happened? Is Kaylee all right?"

Snorting softly, Simon refused to meet his gaze as he muttered, "No, she's mad as hell."

"Mad at you?" Eli realized that getting to the heart of whatever was bothering the young doctor was more than likely going to resemble pulling teeth. "What happened?"

Rising suddenly, Simon paced across the office, his body wound tighter than a spring. Eli had only seen Simon stressed a handful of times; the man was so good at his job he rarely, if ever, succumbed to the pressure that other doctors twice his age often suffered from. However, after watching the younger man keep vigil at Kaylee's bedside six months ago, Eli knew Simon had a breaking point. And it appeared he'd reached it again.

"The transport that my replacement was supposed to be on?" Simon reminded him, pausing long enough to lock eyes with his friend. "Well, Kaylee's family was on it as well. Coming for the wedding. I wanted to surprise her, have all of them here for the big day." Dropping his chin to his chest, Simon cursed softly and murmured, "Big mistake."

About to ask just what was wrong with giving Kaylee an excuse to flash one of her famous smiles, Eli bit back his question as Simon elaborated. "The transport never arrived because it was hit by slavers." As the older man's face blanched at this information, Simon wearily sank back into the chair and added, "Oh, and then my parents showed up."

Eli waited a full minute, giving the younger man time to collect himself. Kneeling beside him with a bit of effort, the older doctor looked into Simon's pained blue eyes and asked, "How is Kaylee?"

The pain in his eyes quickly morphed into bitterness. One errant muscle in his cheek twitching in time to his sadness, he answered, "Angry, sad, frustrated, feeling helpless …" Sighing, Simon sat forward and dropped his head into his hands, rubbing his temples in an effort to clear the headache that had formed behind his eyes. "Take your pick."

Rising again as his old knees could not handle the prolonged squat, Eli sank into a chair beside his friend and placed a reassuring hand to his shoulder. "What can I do? Evelyn and I, Jenna and Rachel, we'll help in any way we can."

Smiling faintly at the man's generosity and thoughtfulness, Simon shook his head once. "I can't – There's nothing anyone can do. Not until we find out more. Serenity is on its way to track down some more information."

Raising a skeptical eyebrow, Eli questioned, "Do I even want to know?"

His smile turning to a smirk, Simon turned to face him and reported, "Probably not."

"Right." Having only met the crew of the firefly a handful of times, Eli knew they were all good people; of course, he also knew that good people still had to make a living and would do so in most anyway they could. Probably the less details he knew, the better.

"Now, if I could just get my parents off my back …" Simon let the statement die knowing that if wishes were horses Jayne would have ballooned to the size of a house long ago due to the amount of steak he'd consumed. He had managed to get them back to their hotel after his mother had grabbed all of Kaylee's files and documents regarding the wedding. She had told him of course, that he and Kaylee, or at least one of them, should record a formal apology to be sent to all the attendees. Simon had simply informed her it wasn't happening today and pushed her out the door.

Clapping the man on the back, Eli rose and rounded his desk. "Let me handle that."

Alarmed, Simon's head snapped up, his eyes wide with worry and a bit of fright. "What?" he asked breathlessly, watching in shock as the other man simply went about his business. "Handle it how?"

Doing his best to ease the man's sudden panic while also taking a minute to tease, Eli answered, "Simon, my wife and I have lived on Sihnon for our entire lives. We know people like your parents and we understand the world they're coming from." As Simon frowned mightily at this statement, Eli corrected, "We understand it, I didn't necessarily say we agreed with it."

As the younger doctor released a small sigh of relief, Eli continued. "Evelyn and I will host them for dinner this evening and then I'll see if possibly Evie and your mother might be able to handle some of the more time-consuming wedding arrangements that will need to be rescheduled." Cocking his head to the side, Eli allowed his gaze to rove over Simon's tense form. "How does that sound?"

Rising, Simon shook his head once, refusing to give into the relief he felt building in his gut. "I can't ask you or Evelyn to do that," he said honestly, cutting off Eli's next excuse easily. "Even though I never asked. It's too much."

Waving away his concern, Eli rose again and faced Simon, hands on the younger man's broad shoulders. Meeting his gaze steadily, he told him, "Simon, listen to me. You and Kaylee are very dear to Evelyn and I both – we consider you adoptive children. What the two of you are going through now – so close to the wedding …" Allowing the statement to trail off as a bit of sadness reached his normally jovial blue eyes, Eli paused for a moment. "It's not right. And since Evie and I can't spare you that pain, we will do whatever we can to help." As Simon found himself speechless at his heartfelt words, Eli added, "Let us, son. Let us help you and Kaylee."

Overwhelmed with relief Simon hugged him, not surprised when Eli returned the embrace fiercely. It was brief, but conveyed in just seconds precisely how each of them felt for the other. Pulling away, Simon swallowed hard and told him, "Thank you, Eli, truly. I honestly don't know what Kaylee or I would have done without you these past months."

"Oh, I know." Eli's eyes were again twinkling with mirth as he went back to his desk and jotted some notes. "You'd have suffered miserably with no relief in sight."

Chuckling softly, Simon nodded once. "I'd say that's a fair assessment."

Waving him away, Eli ordered, "Now, go home and see to that beautiful fiancée of yours."

Wishing it could be that simple, Simon headed for the door, murmuring, "If she'll let me."

xoxoxoxoxo

Mal found River on the bridge, perched in her normal position in the pilot's seat. With her knees pulled into her chest and her cheek resting atop them, she looked every bit the young girl Simon had brought on board a little over a year ago. But he knew that appearances in this case were more than deceiving and River was many things, but no longer a girl.

Sitting beside her in the co-pilot's chair, they enjoyed a prolonged, but companionable silence. This was a typical way of being for them both; staring at the stars together, ruminating on all they might find out in the black. But, more often than not, Mal did seek her out for reason. As he had now.

"We gotta talk lil' one," he said quietly, not bothering to pull his gaze from the great expanse out the window.

Also continuing to stare straight ahead, River closed her eyes for a moment and reminded him, "You know I'm not little anymore."

Grimacing, Mal realized that was the case. "Old habit," he reported softly. Pausing, he waited another moment and then said, "We need more to go on River."

Sighing heavily, River turned her face into her knees, her hair falling like a curtain about her bent legs. She didn't know anymore. Mal and the others expected her to be omniscient, to know all and see all before anything bad could ever happen to their family – but that wasn't in her power. And the more involved she became with Rafe the less of that responsibility she wanted to accept.

"I don't know anymore," she answered quietly, her voice muffled as she refused to lift her eyes to his face.

Setting his jaw, Mal wondered at the slight disappointment and anger that welled in his gut. He felt betrayed by River's lack of knowledge, and while he knew that was an unfair assessment, he could not fight it back. "You've known more before," he prompted, trying to coax it out of her.

Looking to him sharply, her normally large eyes had narrowed to slits. "You can't just wind me up and ask me what I see," she told him angrily, her voice rising in pitch and volume. "I want to be a person, actual and whole. Not some freak of nature who knows things she shouldn't." Swallowing thickly, she added, "That's what got us into trouble in the first place."

Knowing he'd overstepped his bounds, Mal rose and leaned on the console before her. Resting his hand to her shoulder, he said quietly, "River, I ain't askin' you to be crazy. I'm just askin' ya for help. I don't wanna think 'bout what'll happen to Kaylee if we can't find her folks."

Refusing to be guilted, River challenged, "That's why we're going to see Badger. He knows something."

"What that man knows is up for debate," Mal reminded her coldly, still seething that he'd have to accept help and no doubt a ridiculous amount of gloating from the informant. "It's never hurt us to know a bit more than the other guy goin' in."

Rising swiftly, River stood before him at her full height, still a good head or so shorter than Mal, but her defiant stance and cold gaze gave her the advantage. "I don't know anymore," she bit out again and then spun away from him, fleeing the bridge.

Sighing heavily, Mal slumped into the seat she'd vacated rubbing a hand over his tired eyes. "Why don't it ever go smooth?" he lamented quietly to the empty room.

xoxoxoxoxo

Asher raced by Kaylee as she stood in the home's kitchen her arms elbow-deep in sudsy water. "Be careful, lil' one," she called after him as two more boys his age ran by. Apparently they were again enacting a battle from the war and Asher had been unfortunate enough to be labeled an Independent.

Smiling softly at the sound of the laughter that filled the space around her, Kaylee sighed and went back to her washing. The home had a dishwasher, of course, taking care of, feeding and cleaning up after over twenty children necessitated one, but there had only been a few glasses and mugs in the sink and needing something to take her mind off all that was happening, Kaylee had volunteered to wash them by hand.

Gazing into the foamy water, she found her mind drifted easily. Unfortunately, the task of washing dishes was not taxing enough to keep her occupied and unwanted fears claimed her heart. She had tried desperately not to dwell on the fact that her family was currently in the hands of slavers. Luckily, Serenity's crew had never had cause or concern to watch for such kidnappers, but she'd heard stories – stories told in smoky bars and around campfires about the horrors of being sold to all manner of unsavory folk for all manner of unsavory reasons. Secretly, she prayed her family had been taken to a mining colony or some such. She shuddered to consider that, instead, her mother, sisters-in-laws and young nieces might have been sold for baser purposes, while her father, brothers and nephews were simply left for dead.

Tears clouded her vision and she paused, leaning heavily on the sink. Of course, her argument with Simon and the postponed wedding only made these fresh wounds sting more acutely. She knew Simon was doing his best to help – that was what he did, it was how he operated. As a doctor and caregiver he was trained to help, to alleviate pain. Even in situations where he was more than likely aware that there was nothing he could do, he still tried and while Kaylee could normally appreciate it, it had seemingly been the final straw this morning.

Pulling her left hand from the water, Kaylee wiped it against her pant leg, smiling softly at the sight of the engagement ring Simon had given her. The thought of that evening, when they'd been so happy, so grateful for all they had and for each other brought more unbidden tears to her eyes. In moments, her vision had blurred to a point of opaqueness and Kaylee found herself struggling to breathe. Pressing a hand over her heart, the staccato rhythm of the rapid pulse under her palm caused more than a little panic to join the sadness and fear she was already feeling.

Refusing to be undone by her own overactive imagination, Kaylee thrust both hands back into the water, scrubbing furiously at each dish she came into contact with. Picking up the last glass, she could barely make out the object as her reddened eyes continued to spill more tears. The overly loud peal of laughter reached her from the next room and she felt a final pang stab at her heart as she realized all of the things she didn't have – she wasn't a wife, might soon be as orphaned as the children living in this home and could not conceive a child.

With frustration easily overwhelming her sadness and anger displacing her fear, Kaylee hurled the glass to the floor, barely registering the shattering sound it made. The unexpected noise did shake her for a moment and feeling like a fool, she stooped hurriedly to pick up the pieces. Closing her hand around one larger piece, the jagged edge cut a small sliver into her palm.

Hissing softly as she pulled her hand back, she realized while looking at the thin rivulet of blood that appeared, that the pain of the cut didn't hurt nearly as much as the pain and disappointment she was currently suffering. Testing her theory with a detached interest, as if it wasn't her skin she was regarding, Kaylee straightened, grabbing the sharp glass in her opposite hand and slowly, expertly, drew a long line down her palm.

More blood seeped up through her skin, but it still didn't hurt and Kaylee marveled at the distraction. Maybe she would no longer feel this kind of physical pain, so inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. Cutting another long and slightly deeper line down the underside of her forearm, Kaylee's swollen eyes looked between the now red tinted edge of the glass and her bleeding skin. Nothing.

She retraced this last line again just as Helen appeared in the doorway, one of the smaller children on her hip.

"Kaylee?"

The woman, while not adept with children, knew a little something about pain and the sight before her caused her breath to hitch in her throat. Setting the little one on her feet, Helen told her, "Why don't you go find Miss Tabby, okay?"

Nodding once, the toddler seemed oblivious to the tension in the room and she wandered off. Helen watched her for only a second before turning her attention back to Kaylee.

Moving forward cautiously, Helen could tell by the look in Kaylee's eyes that she was more than detached from the scene around her. Glancing to the floor and the rest of the broken glass, Helen swallowed thickly and questioned again, "Kaylee? What happened?"

With an empty gaze and dull eyes, Kaylee looked to the glass in her hand and then at her feet before shrugging lightly. "It broke." Her tone was dull and lifeless and Helen found her stomach clench uncomfortably at the unaccustomed sound. The woman before her now was not the Kaylee Helen had come to know and admire over the past months.

Of course, they had all suspected something was wrong when she had arrived, a day before her wedding to that incredibly swai doctor, and told them she was here to work. But no one had thought to push, knowing that if Kaylee wanted to share something, she usually did with little to no prodding.

"Kaylee, are you all right?" Helen knew the question was fairly ridiculous giving the blood that was beginning to drip down her arm, but at the moment, it was all she could think of.

Shrugging again, Kaylee did not answer. Helen had reached her by now, grabbing a dishrag from the counter and pressing it against the larger cut on Kaylee's arm in an effort to staunch the bleeding. Even as she applied a fair amount of pressure to the open wound, Kaylee remained unaffected and Helen found her concern for the younger woman skyrocketing.

"Why don't we go to the hospital and get that looked at, all right?" Helen tried to steer her from the room, wishing that Tabitha would hurry up. The head of the home knew Kaylee much better than she did.

Shaking her head once, Kaylee said, "Naw, it's jus' a scratch."

Frowning, Helen did not dispute the girl's claim, although she knew it was far more than a scratch.

"Helen, did you – Oh my god!" Tabby rushed forward, supporting Kaylee's other side, wide eyes glancing to the bloody towel around her friend's arm, before falling back to Helen's face. "What happened?" she hissed.

Shrugging once, Helen conveyed her lack of knowledge with the simple gesture and then again addressed Kaylee. "Well, if you don't want to go to the hospital, why don't I call Simon?"

Shaking her head even more vehemently, Kaylee muttered, "No, Simon don't gotta take care o' me. I can-" The rest of the statement died on her lips as the either the blood loss or strain to Kaylee's system became too great. Supported on either side by both women, she did not fall as she passed out, but her head fell back on her neck and her body went limp in their arms.

Adjusting under the added strain of the girl's full weight, Helen stated, "I think we'd better get her to the hospital."

"I think we'd better find Simon," Tabby added grimly, risking one more look to Kaylee's pale face before helping her from the room.

xoxoxoxoxo


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

xoxoxoxoxo

_Hissing softly, Kaylee did her best not to squirm as her daddy patched up her knee._

"_Easy there, baby girl," he told her soothingly, doing his best not to aggravate the cut. "You did a right fine job gettin' banged up."_

_Glancing disparagingly over her shoulder at the regulator she'd been fiddling with, the twelve-year-old muttered petulantly, "Stupid part. I was just tryin' to brace it so I could work on the innards."_

"_Yeah, well, next time how's about you ask for some help?" Jimmy Frye teased lightly, knowing the likelihood of his little girl admitting she needed aid were about as good as he doing the same. Stepping back, he packed away the first aid kit he always had on hand and told her, "All set. Why don't you head home an' help mama with supper?"_

_Flashing him a look that was one part sympathy and about ten parts angry, she told him sternly, "I ain't one o' _them_ girls, daddy. I don't like cookin' or cleanin' or any o' that other go se. I wanna work on machines."_

"_Language," Jimmy scolded, turning from her to put the kit away so she wouldn't see the smile of pride that lit his face. That was his good girl. Her brothers had never shown any type of interest in working in his shop, covered in grease and learning the ins and outs of what makes things tick. But not his lil' Kaylee. She'd taken to this work like a duck to water and it swelled Jimmy's heart with pride every time she completed a new repair._

_Of course, she'd long ago surpassed him in the brains department – his girl wasn't only gifted, she was powerful smart and gorram beautiful. That smile of hers could light up the darkest night and her big green eyes were always shining with happiness and joy. She was quite literally the apple of James Frye's eye. He didn't care if she ever learned to cook or clean, although he knew in about six years, those skills would come in handy when she became a wife._

_His features darkening into a scowl as he thought of some worthless hun dan coveting his little girl, Jimmy shook the thought away and then turned back to face her. "Well, all right then, if'n you're gonna stay we're gonna do more work." Glancing about his cluttered shop at their myriad of options he asked her, "What do you want to do next?"_

_Biting on her lower lip as her eyes roved over the same scene, Kaylee thought about what she most wanted to dismantle. Glancing to a bigger piece of equipment in the corner, she pointed towards it and then looked back to her dad with a wide grin. "I wanna work on an engine."_

xoxoxoxoxo

Simon had almost been out the door, ready to head home or possibly stop by the orphanage and check on Kaylee when his pager went off. Grimacing he'd answered the call, noting the emergency nature of the code and the oddity of it coming from the actual emergency room. Most trauma patients were brought in through a different intake process.

Rushing downstairs after he'd heard Helen's hasty explanation of what was going on, Simon did his best to keep his heart out of his throat. Nothing bad could happen to Kaylee, it just couldn't. He wouldn't make it without her, he knew that and he cursed himself for letting her leave that morning. He could have at least gone with her.

Shaking the "what ifs" and "should haves" from his mind, he pushed through the double doors to the waiting room and met Helen's concerned gaze. Rising swiftly, she approached him even as he asked rudely, "Where is she?"

Not answering directly, Helen told him firmly, "Simon, I think there's something you should know."

"Where is she, Helen?" Simon was in no mood for games or gossip. He knew Kaylee did not have a very high opinion of the woman and so his own impression of her was not all that flattering. And given everything that had happened in the past twenty-four hours, he was out of patience.

Reading his concern for his fiancée, Helen stepped out of his path and said, "Exam room 4."

Simon breezed past her, unconcerned with his rude behavior, his thoughts consumed with Kaylee and her condition. Pausing for just a second to compose himself outside the door, Simon took a breath and then stepped inside, his momentary calm shattered when he noted the empty room.

Quickly moving back the way he'd come, Simon poked his head into each open exam room, his anxiety mounting as he continued to come up empty. Reappearing in the waiting room, he did not answer Helen's unspoken question, but instead moved to the admissions nurse and demanded Kaylee's chart. She gave it to him without question and he scanned the information expertly.

Helen stepped to his side as he read, her own eyes locked on his tense face. Reaching out a tentative hand to his arm, she called softly, "Simon?"

"How did she get these cuts?" he asked, ignoring her obvious attempt to ask him something. "Did she fall?"

Shaking her head once, the woman told him, "No, she didn't fall. She was washing dishes and a glass broke. She – she cut herself."

Squeezing his eyes shut, Simon muttered a curse before slamming the chart closed and thrusting it back to the nurse. "Did you see her leave?" he asked her once he'd managed to take a breath.

Glancing to her colleague just a seat away, they both shook their heads. "No, doctor. We didn't. She hasn't been officially discharged. We would have kept her here."

Another curse welling in his throat, Simon swallowed it back. "Thank you for calling me, Helen. I can take care of Kaylee now." Stepping around her, he moved to search the hospital, and was only stopped by the noticeable plea in the her voice.

"Simon, there's something else you should know."

Pausing, he turned back around and asked impatiently, "What?"

Glancing to her hands and then back to his clouded features, she admitted softly, "I don't think it was an accident."

xoxoxoxoxo

Kaylee's hand rested lightly against the cool, transparent partition that separated the harshness of a new environment from the tiny, little lives on the other side. Her right hand and arm she held firmly cradled to her chest, the throbbing pain of her cuts starting to become a bit more noticeable as some of the initial medication they'd given her waned.

She had found herself drifting towards the nursery, completely oblivious to the fact that it was her destination until she arrived there, staring at the small pink and blue bundles, tiny little fists stretching over their bonneted heads, small mouths rounding into tiny "o"s as they yawned mightily and then settled back to sleep. They were so little.

A few of the nurses circulating the room had smiled to her as they'd passed close to the window. One had mimed to Kaylee, asking which baby was hers. With a quick shake of the head and a few tears, Kaylee had let her know she was simply admiring and the nurse had gone about her business.

Absently, the hand against the window fell to her stomach and pressed there. If she hadn't been in that accident, she'd be the size of a house by now, only a few short weeks away from giving birth to her own child, to Simon's child and the grief of that loss hit her once again, low in her gut.

Shivering slightly with grief, pain and an inexplicable chill, Kaylee took one step back from the window and then another until finally she backed into a chair on the opposite wall and sank into it. Her eyes never wavered from the scene before her. She simply stared.

xoxoxoxoxo

Eli's ever-present grin was on in full force as he headed for the lifts. He normally took the opportunity to pass the nursery when he had cause to be on the pediatrics floor; he found that after dealing with what was usually a very dire neonatal case, he needed the reassurance of so many healthy and happy babies.

Giving a small wave to the few nurses he recognized inside, he slowed down, but did not stop as his eyes swept over the tiny, squirming bundles. Releasing a small sigh and wondering if Evelyn had yet pestered Jenna and Rachel this month about making them grandparents, he hurried again for the lifts. If he was to be home in time to greet Simon's folks, he'd need to finish the rest of his day quickly.

Nodding hello to a passing colleague, Eli caught sight of someone else he thought he recognized. Turning slightly, his eyes widened from surprise to worry as he took in Kaylee's still and stiff form, sitting rigidly opposite the nursery's observation window. Taking only another moment to study her, Eli could see her distress based on not only the bandages around her arm, but the absolutely blank look that filled her features.

Grimacing slightly, he went to the nearest wave unit and paged Simon, waiting impatiently for the boy to answer. Once his young face appeared on the screen, Eli felt another pang of regret for the younger man. He was obviously already panicked. "You know she's here, I take it?" Eli questioned needlessly, risking a glance back in Kaylee's direction to be sure she hadn't wandered off.

"Where?" Simon breathed.

"The nursery."

If possible, the young doctor's features paled even more. "I'll be right there. Stay with her. Please?"

Nodding once, Eli flipped off the comm and returned to Kaylee's side slowly. Gingerly he sat in a chair next to her, a bit alarmed when she did not acknowledge nor recognize his presence.

"Well, hello there, my dear," he greeted her fondly, his eyes never leaving her face. "What brings you to this fine establishment?"

"I was lookin' at the babies," she whispered. Her eyes never wavered from the scene and Eli worried about the lost tone in her voice.

Deciding to humor her a bit, Eli commented, "Yes, they are something else." Pausing, he looked to her recently bandaged arm and asked, "What happened here?"

Shrugging, Kaylee murmured, "Got cut."

Resting a gentle hand to her shoulder, Eli noticed the way she flinched slightly. Removing the touch, he asked quietly, "Kaylee, do you know who I am?"

With an effort, Kaylee pulled her eyes from the nursery window and turned to face him, her neck stiff, her body sore and tired from a lack of sleep and an overload of adrenaline. Her brow furrowing slightly as she studied his kindly face and small smile, she whispered, "Doc Butler?"

Smiling a bit wider, Eli again rested a hand to her shoulder grateful when she didn't shrug away from him. "Kaylee, Simon told me about what happened." Her eyes glossed over again at his words and silently the man kicked himself for even bringing it up. But he wanted her to know he understood. "Evelyn and I will do everything we can, all right?"

"Take care of Simon." The words were barely more than a whisper and it took Eli a moment to connect all the sounds.

Doing his best not to be alarmed, he questioned gently, "No, my dear, I'm afraid that's your job." His tone was light, but the sarcasm was apparently lost on the grieving woman. "You'll be his wife soon and then you'll take care of each other."

Shaking her head once, Kaylee answered, "We ain't gettin' married."

Swallowing thickly at the utter despair in her tone, Eli amended, "Well, not tomorrow as planned, but you will soon enough. As soon as they find your family."

"They ain't gonna find 'em." Kaylee's voice was stronger now, her conviction on the rise. With green eyes that held the smallest spark now studying him, she continued. "They ain't gonna find my folks an' then I'm gonna be an orphan, with no family, no history, no nothin'. Simon don't deserve that. He shouldn't o' ever wanted to marry me in the first place. I can't even give him a baby."

Reaching over, Eli took the girl's uninjured hand in his and tugged on it hard enough to get her attention. Once her sad eyes were on his face, he told her sternly, "Kaylee Frye, you had better listen to me. That young man loves you, more than I think I've ever seen anyone love another person. And I know you love him, too. I've seen it. Don't let this tragedy destroy everything the two of you have shared until now."

Gripping at his sleeve, Kaylee's eyes filled with tears as she whispered, "What if they don't find my folks, Eli? What if they're dead?"

"Kaylee, it isn't healthy to think that way." Eli offered her a small smile of reassurance as he moved one of his hands to her cheek. "If your family is anything like you than they have to be the strongest folks I've never met. Nothing's going to keep them from you for long."

As she smiled wanly at his words and swallowed back a sob, Eli leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I'm so scared, doc," she murmured as she leaned against his shoulder, releasing a heavy sigh.

Placing a gentle arm around her shoulders, he asked quietly, "Then why did you send Simon away? You know he can't stand to be apart from you."

While the statement would normally have made her smile and giggle like a small girl, Kaylee felt more tears come at his words – because she knew they were true. And she knew that her earlier outburst had really hurt the love of her life. "There's nothin' he can do," she answered lamely, sniffing slightly. "I know he wants to try, but-"

"He can help, Kaylee," Eli reminded her, leaning back slightly to look into her eyes. "You know he can. Something tells me you sent him away because you were afraid."

Furrowing her brow, Kaylee questioned, "Shen me?"

"You were afraid for Simon to see you so upset. Afraid he'd think less of you." As her cheeks colored at his more than accurate assessment, Eli offered her a small tease. "Although, I don't know why. It's obvious the boy thinks the universe revolves around you."

"Because it does."

Both of them turned their heads sharply to see Simon standing just over Eli's left shoulder. As Kaylee's eyes filled with more tears at the sight of him and the worry evident all over his face, Simon added quietly, "My universe does anyway."

A sob she could not contain escaped her lips and Kaylee clamped a hand to her mouth as Eli quickly switched places with Simon. Careful of her injured arm, Simon hugged her tightly, cradling the back of her head in his hand as she buried her face into his neck and cried. Casting a look of thanks and relief to Eli over his shoulder, the older man nodded once and walked away. He was suddenly more than grateful that he'd offered to help with the Tams. Something told him, Kaylee and Simon were going to need some time alone.

"Where are they an' how can I get them back?"

Mal applied another pound of pressure to Badger's neck as he ground the little man's face into his ostentatious desk. Zoe, Jayne and River had already trained their guns on the rest of his goons and so now, he and Mal were conducting some – negotiations.

"I already told you, you ain't gettin' 'em back," Badger sputtered, having a hard time catching a breath as Mal's hand crammed his windpipe. In his current position, he wondered just why exactly he kept putting up with Reynolds and all his go se. "You might as well write 'em off."

"I ain't writin' nobody off, Badger," Mal told him hotly. Grabbing the man by his collar he hauled him upright and allowed his threatening gaze to burn into his scruffy face. "The deal was, you give us all the info you got. So far, I ain't heard much of nothin'."

"Ya ever think I wanna keep you in this 'verse? Maybe I'm lookin' out for yer-"

Badger's statement was cut off with a sickening squelch as Mal tightened his hold on the man's throat. With his beady eyes growing to twice their normal size, Mal held the man's face close to his own and whispered vehemently, "You ain't never looked out for anyone but yerself. I'm thinkin' your lack o' cooperation's got more to do with what you do know than what you don't."

Glancing back to Zoe, whose eyes and gun had never wavered from the man on her knees before her, he said, "He was in on it."

Even as Badger tried to protest and failed, Zoe commented, "I had a feeling, sir."

"You coulda told me," Mal whined, hurling Badger around in front of him so he could fully face his second.

"Knew you'd reach the same conclusion on your own." Zoe's quipped response made Mal frown mightily, but he let it slide. She did know him just a bit too gorram well.

"So now what?" Jayne asked, his trigger finger just itching for a reason to use Molly, the gun he'd selected for this job. "We gonna kill 'im?"

Turning his displeased look to Jayne before glancing to River, Mal told him, "No, Jayne. We ain't gonna kill 'im. He's our best lead, unfortunately." Looking again to River, he hesitated to ask more remembering their words from only a few hours before.

But before he had formed the question, she had offered him an answer. "It's the only way," she told him softly, her eyes studying him through her wispy hair as she steadily held a gun on the brute at her feet.

Nodding once, Mal hauled Badger towards the door. "Good 'nough for me."

"Evelyn, you have a lovely home," Regan commented easily, feeling more at rest in this dinner party environment than anywhere else. Taking the offered seat in the parlor, she smiled warmly to their hostess and added, "Some of these art pieces I've only seen inside museums."

Returning the smile, Evelyn answered, "Well, if Eli and I have one weakness it is fine art. He is constantly scouring the cortex and auctions for pieces."

"Now, now, Evie, don't tell these people falsehoods. It seems to me you're normally right at my side, pushing my elbow in the air so I'll bid." Eli's smile was infectious and Gabriel found himself smiling right along with the jovial man as the two fixed the group after dinner drinks. "She'd spend it all if she could," he confided, husband to husband and was rewarded with a knowing grin.

"Yes, I've seen evidence of that myself with Regan," Gabriel offered, smiling kindly to his wife as the four adults shared a small chuckle at their own marital foibles.

As they sipped their fine brandy, the conversation light, Eli found himself intrigued by all that was not being said. He had told Simon the truth – he and Evelyn both had grown up and now lived in the same world as Simon's parents. And while most of the Butler money was fairly new, Eli and his family understood the echelon of society they occupied and knew that along with the privilege it afforded them, it also garnered a fair amount of responsibility.

But the fact that none of them had even hinted at either Simon or Kaylee's troubles all evening was starting to grate on him a bit. With all of their resources, surely there would be more they could do then sit idly by and wait for Captain Reynolds and his crew to report back.

The conversation lulled for a moment and Eli seized the opportunity. "I feel terrible for Simon and Kaylee both," he said quietly, addressing Gabriel. "They're both so wonderful, it's a shame something like this had to happen."

"Well, Gabriel and I are just beside ourselves," Regan admitted quickly, glancing to her husband for his agreement. Looking back to their hosts, Regan tilted her head in Evelyn's direction as if sharing a confidence and told her, "I'm not exactly sure what we're going to tell people."

Praying he'd heard wrong, Eli sat forward a bit and asked, "What? I didn't catch that last."

Frowning slightly, Simon's mother looked to Eli and repeated herself, taking the time to elaborate on her precise meaning, which in the end would only incense the doctor more. "Well, the guest list for the wedding reads as a veritable who's who of Osirian and Sihnonese society." As Evelyn and Eli found themselves speechless, Regan just barreled ahead, speaking with a nonchalance that chilled their blood. "Can you believe Simon omitted the Wangs and Robinsons from the initial list? I mean, that's just unheard of." Regan's look of disbelief was mirrored in her husband's face.

Continuing on, the other woman was either unaware of her hosts' discomfort or immune to it – Eli was having a hard time determining which was worse. "So, of course, when we're talking about such important people we obviously can't tell them that the wedding is postponed due to slavers. I mean, who's ever heard of such a thing?" Snorting softly in disbelief, Regan rolled her eyes before taking another sip of her drink.

It was only after she'd stopped prattling that the room descended into a cold silence that set everyone on edge. Eli had really, really tried in the past six months to give Simon's parents the benefit of the doubt. He knew how his friend felt about them, knew how much of a struggle their relationship had been, especially given all that had happened in the past three years. But until this moment, when he'd been confronted with their vapidity, Eli had not been fully sympathetic to the younger man.

He was now.

Reaching over to pat his wife's shoulder as Eli gathered his thoughts, Gabriel assured, "Well, I'm sure Evelyn can help you with that, dear. It won't be a problem, I'm sure."

Glancing to her own husband with a look of pure incredulity, Evelyn read the anger in his eyes and sat back, deciding that the coming tirade would be much more effective coming from him.

"That's what you're most concerned about?" Eli questioned quietly, doing his best not to lose his temper. Looking between his guests, he let his gaze rest on Regan. "What people will think?"

Unfazed by the veiled judgment, Regan answered with a frank frown. "Well, Eli, Kaylee is sweet and charming, but coming from a rim world with no education and no family name, she was going to be a tough sell already. This little incident is just the icing on the cake, as it were."

"Incident?" His encounter with Kaylee just a few hours ago still fresh in his mind, Eli felt his anger rising at the woman's flippant attitude. "You call your future daughter-in-law's entire family being kidnapped by slavers an incident? Two days before her own wedding?" With wide, searching eyes, he again looked between both Gabriel and Regan, noting the way they had stiffened at his reproachful tone.

"Do you have any idea what Simon and Kaylee have been through? Or how much they love each other?" Evelyn spoke up now, her own voice softer, but her tone no less accusatory. "They are two of the most wonderful people we've ever met. And what's happening now …" Trailing off, Evie felt a small lump rise in her throat. Eli had given her a hurried description of Kaylee's current state as they had changed for dinner; it broke her heart to know the bright and vibrant young woman was suffering so. "It's terrible. Yes, having to contact the guests and reschedule things for the wedding is an inconvenience, but it shouldn't be your first, second or even third concern."

Rising, Gabriel decided to put an end to this. "Have we offended you in some way?" Pausing to study his hosts, he added, "We were only trying to convey the awfulness of the situation from our perspective."

"Are you kidding me?" Eli rose and faced the man, doing his best not to raise his voice. "Lamenting over the annoyance of a few waves is not the worst part of this from anyone's viewpoint."

"That's not your place to say, Eli," Gabriel countered, going toe to toe with the slightly taller man.

"Well, I didn't mean …" Regan began stammering now, her spirit sinking as she realized that the kidnapping was going to ruin a perfectly pleasant evening. "It's just awful anyway you look at it," she amended, glancing to Evie for a bit of support.

Which the other woman would not give her. Rising to stand beside her husband, Evelyn told them, "It's late. We can meet on the wedding tomorrow, can't we?"

Gabriel moved quickly to his wife, offering his hand, which she took as she rose graciously and hurried for the door. She refused to feel shame for her comments, they hadn't been meant to offend, but she still got the distinct impression they were no longer welcome in the Butler's home.

"Yes, that'll be fine," Regan answered, offering Evelyn a small smile. "Thank you for a lovely evening."

Gabriel did not even humor them with an acknowledgement of their hospitality, which Eli was perfectly fine with; the man's words would have only delayed his departure anyway.

Waiting until they had left the parlor, Eli finally let out a heavy sigh and muttered, "I can't believe I ever defended those people."

Resting a gentle hand to her husband's arm, Evelyn tried to ease his guilt. "As a father, you believed you were offering Simon the best counsel." Glancing back to the exit, she added wistfully, "It's always hard to believe people like that really exist."

"No, what's hard to believe is people like that could have raised a son like Simon," Eli retorted, still scowling. "They don't deserve him."

Smiling warmly, Evelyn stood on her tiptoes and gave her husband a peck on the cheek. "Well, I'm still glad they had him." As Eli turned a puzzled gaze to her, she added quietly, "Because now you have the son I could never give you."

Frowning slightly, Eli pulled his wife to him in a fierce hug, making a silent apology for a long dead heartache. "I do love Simon and Kaylee both, but not anymore than I love our own children." Leaning back slightly to gaze into her still beautiful face, he added, "You know that."

Smiling, Evelyn teased lightly, "Of course. I just occasionally like to hear you say it." Stopping his next statement with a kiss, Evelyn waited until they parted to add, "And I would adopt Simon and Kaylee in a heartbeat if they weren't fully grown adults."

Chuckling softly, Eli steered his wife towards the stairs, more than ready to turn in and bring an end to this day. "Well," he murmured, as they slowly ascended to their bedroom. "There is that."


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: This chapter is rated NC-17, you have been warned.

Thanks to Leiasky and Kaynara for the beta. And keep those comments coming … I've got the worst writer's block trying to finish up the third part of this trilogy. Your encouragement keeps me going!

xoxoxoxoxo

Chapter 10

xoxoxoxoxo

Simon regarded Kaylee from the doorway to the patio. Once they'd returned from the hospital, barely a word spoken between them, she had drifted outdoors, perching herself on the edge of one of their deck chairs, staring at the sky as it darkened from blue to black.

He had tried a half a dozen times to approach her, to ask her what had happened that had not only landed her in the hospital, but why she'd been so bereft when he'd found her with Eli. But each time Simon took a step towards her, he took it right back; what could he possibly say that would help? And what if whatever he said ended up hurting her more?

Shuddering slightly, he swallowed hard as he remembered Helen's whispered explanation of how she'd found Kaylee at the orphanage. While Simon did not and could not believe that Kaylee would knowingly injure herself, even he had to admit that the scene Helen had described and the behaviors his love was exhibiting painted that picture. What could he possibly hope to do for her now?

Sighing softly, he glanced back into their living room, noting the time. Regardless of whether he felt he should talk with her, he knew he had to – it was time for her medication.

Returning to her side a few minutes later with a glass of water and two pills, Simon knelt beside her and said softly, "Kaylee."

Pulling her eyes from the dark sky, Kaylee looked to him with such sadness and regret he felt his breath catch in his throat. Doing his best not to give into the despair her felt at his own helplessness, Simon offered her the medication. "It's time to take these."

With a shaky hand, Kaylee reached for the small pills, placing them in her mouth and then, trembling even harder, took the glass from him, sipping some water down and taking a big swallow. As she handed the drink back to him, Simon took it, his hand touching hers and he started at how cold she was. Rising, he moved to sit behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her back to him. "You're freezing," he whispered, pressing a kiss to her chilled skin.

Nodding slightly, Kaylee glanced to him over her shoulder, a mixture of pain and anxiety now warring with her sadness. With a heavy sigh that seemed to deflate her entire body, she turned fully into his embrace and sank against his chest. Simon tightened his arms around her, holding fast as she trembled a bit and snuggled even closer.

He wished he had the power to protect her from everything – just as he'd wished he'd had the power to heal River. But once again, Simon found himself incapable of helping the two most important women in his life.

Simon sat with her in silence, more than reluctant to ask the question he knew he had to. Kaylee was content to let the quiet remain, her small form seeming unbelievably frail as she curled herself tighter against him.

Taking a deep breath and reaffirming his hold on her, Simon finally whispered into her hair, "Can you tell me what happened?"

More silence. For a moment he worried that perhaps she hadn't heard him, but a small sigh confirmed that she had. Simon let the quiet stretch on, determined to learn the truth, but unwilling to cause her already fragile psyche more damage.

"Ain't nothin' to tell." Her voice was a bit shaky and hoarse and Simon wondered briefly how much she'd been crying, how many tears she'd shed alone and scared, without his knowledge. The thought saddened him immensely.

"The glass broke. I got cut."

Sighing heavily, Simon closed his eyes for a moment, steeling himself and then admitted, "Kaylee, I saw your chart. Those cuts you have – you couldn't have gotten them accidentally." She gasped almost inaudibly, but Simon felt her stiffen in his arms and he knew he'd hit close to home. "What happened?"

Reluctant to move from both the warmth and comfort of Simon's arms, Kaylee shifted slightly, getting as much distance as she could without disentangling herself. Her voice low, she told him, "I was tryin' to clean up. Din't want none o' the lil' ones gettin' cut."

"Kaylee." Simon allowed his voice to convey some of his anger – not anger directed at her, but at the entire situation and his inability to help. "Why did you cut yourself?"

Releasing a heavy sigh, she closed her eyes, blinking back a few hot tears. She had known Simon would realize the truth and call her on it, but her heart splintered just a bit more as she realized how incredibly foolish and childish it must all seem.

"It din't hurt," she told him softly, her eyes focused on the bandage covering her hand. Taking a deep breath, she finally lifted empty eyes to his face and breathed again, "It din't hurt, Simon. I didn't feel nothin'."

More sadness welled in his gut as Simon registered her words and saw the small beads of tears fall from the corners of her already swollen eyes. Pulling her close to him once again, Simon held her tight even as she tried to pull away.

"I can't, I can't feel anythin'." Her breath came in short pants as she struggled to breathe. Simon, his doctor instincts kicking in, placed his fingers to her wrist and felt her speeding heart rate.

"Kaylee," he ordered, taking her face in his hands and forcing her wild eyes to lock with his blue ones. "Kaylee, look at me. You have to focus. Just breathe." Shuddering with the effort of drawing in long, deep breaths, Kaylee kept her green eyes locked on Simon's as he breathed with her, the exercise helping his own panicked heart rate to slow.

As he watched her calm herself, and felt her heart rate come back under control, Simon pressed a kiss to her forehead. Her face was still exceptionally pale, much paler than he liked, but Simon would take what he could get at the moment.

For her part, Kaylee was simply struggling to form a coherent thought. Most of her mental and emotional faculties had been gripped with both irrational fear and haunting images since the news of her family's abduction had really hit home. More unbidden images sprang to mind now … blood running from the cut in her arm … those tiny and peaceful babies sleeping and crying in the hospital's nursery … Simon's pained face when he'd been forced – all those months ago – to tell her of their loss …

"I was wrong."

Simon forced his attention back to Kaylee, pulling his mind from the desolate place it had wandered to. Looking back to her hollow eyes, he asked, "Shen me?"

Lifting those dead, dark green orbs to his face, she repeated, "I was wrong 'fore. Me not gettin' pregnant ain't my punishment for killin' our baby." As Simon released an audible gasp, Kaylee finished quietly, "This is. My whole family's gonna die 'cause o' what I did."

Before Simon could react, Kaylee bolted to her feet, anger now replacing the despair in her eyes. Ripping ferociously at the bandage covering her arm, Kaylee began sobbing and screaming simultaneously, the wild sound catching Simon off guard.

As he watched, dumfounded and frozen, the white bandages fell in shreds at her feet. Simon finally propelled himself into action. Reaching her before she dug her nails into the still fresh wound and weave, Simon held her wrists tightly in his strong hands.

"Kaylee, stop this!" His voice cracked on the last word and he swallowed hard, determined to be strong for her.

"Let me go, Simon! I ain't never gonna see 'em 'gain! I ain't never gonna … " Her words dissolved into angry tears and body shuddering sobs. Simon tugged gently on her wrists and pulled her to him, wrapping strong arms around her shaking form and keeping her on her feet.

Gently pressing a kiss to her temple, Simon whispered, "Mal will find them, Kaylee." Deep shuddering breaths replaced her tears and Simon continued to hold her, whispering soothing words into her hair. Eventually, he just kept repeating, "I love you," over and over and over again and Kaylee snaked her good arm out and around his shoulder, pressing them tightly together.

"Help me, Simon," she finally whispered. "Please."

Squeezing his eyes closed, Simon answered with another kiss to her cheek. "I'm here."

xoxoxoxoxo

Mal rounded the corner more than ready to put the hurt on Badger and stopped short, disappointed and a bit annoyed to find Zoe already administering a weave to their informant's cheek.

Glancing to Jayne, the big merc simply shrugged while wiping his favorite knife, Boo, across the dirty shammy in his hand. "He moved."

"I had to scratch my gorram ear," Badger retorted hotly, wincing as Zoe pressed a bit too hard on the cut. His beady eyes full of anger directed at Jayne were now flashing annoyance at the Amazon woman.

"Still moved," Jayne responded. Re-sheathing his knife, Jayne crossed his huge arms over his chest and glared at their captive. "So, you gonna talk now?"

"Can't 'magine why I would," Badger told him, looking to Zoe as she finished and moved to wash her hands and clean up.

"Well, Badge, 'magine this." Mal took the seat Zoe had vacated, slapping his captive's knee and getting a scowl from the little man in return. "I actually told Jayne not to hurt ya yet." Studying the cut, Mal shrugged and explained, "He don't listen to well. So 'magine what he'll hear when I actually tell 'im to be a bit more aggressive."

"Yeah, he's real non-specific," Jayne growled, towering over Mal's shoulder and giving Badger his most feral grin.

"Still not feelin' too much like sharing," Badger responded petulantly.

Zoe turned to face them, wiping her now clean hands and leaning against the counter. "We could always push him out the airlock, sir," she said, her tone completely serious.

As Badger's eyes widened in horror, Mal sat back and sighed. "True. I hate to add to all that space trash already floatin' by, but …" He sighed again and then looked to Jayne. "You might as well."

"You wouldn't?" Badger breathed, watching with a wary eye as Jayne lumbered forward, Mal rising to make room. As the burly man's meaty paw wrapped around Badger's impossibly scrawny arm, he finally gave in. "All right, all right. What'd ya wanna know?"

"We've already been through that, Badger." Mal really could not believe how often they'd had to rely on this piece of go se to give them business or keep them flying. _Gotta make some new contacts._

"Look, I don't know where they are or what they do with their cargo-"

In a flash of action that caught both Zoe and Jayne off guard, Mal rushed Badger, lifting the man from his seat and pinning him to the wall with his elbow crushing uncomfortably against the smaller man's windpipe. Badger's hands, already cuffed behind his back, slammed into the wall and he struggled to breathe as Mal whispered vehemently, "They're people, Badger. _People_, not cargo."

Mal watched as the man's eyes bugged out of his head and his face turned from bright red to a light shade of blue. He'd have no problem ending this rodent's life, but that wouldn't help him get Kaylee's family back and that was all that mattered right now.

"Sir." Zoe placed a hand to his shoulder, giving him an easy, but firm shove back, wrapping her other hand around Badger's elbow as the man sank to his knees once Mal's grip was gone.

Sputtering, angry and embarrassed, Badger glared hotly at Mal as he took deep breaths and fought to get his rage under control. Zoe watched her captain and then turned back to their captive. "Maybe you wanna tell us somethin' before we kill you." She shrugged. "It's just a thought."

Coughing a few times, Badger finally managed to force out something useful. "They normally hit the Persephone route right afore they hit one comin' off Ariel. You might have time to get to 'em."

"Times and dates, Badger," Zoe ordered.

Rolling his eyes, Badger muttered something under his breath and then said, "I'd guess less than ten hours."

"We need coordinates."

"No, we don't."

All eyes in the room snapped towards the doorway to find River standing there, pale as a ghost. With one hand resting against the door jamb, she regarded Badger steadily, her head cocked to one side. After a few long moments of silence, she blinked once and then shifted her wide-eyed gaze to Mal. "We don't need anything else from him," she reported in a whisper and than floated away as silently as she had arrived.

Smirking, Mal slowly swiveled his head back to look at the little man and said in a drawl, "Well, well, well. What are we gonna do with you now?"

xoxoxoxoxo

Kaylee awoke and found herself in bed, the room mostly dark except for a sliver of golden light coming from the bathroom. Feeling a small stab of pain in her arm, she glanced to the side of the bed and made out Simon's dark shadow as he redressed her wounds in silence. She had no idea how long she'd been asleep or how she'd gotten into bed, but she could remember their last conversation and she shuddered at what she'd said and how she behaved.

"Simon."

Her voice was hoarse and it surprised him a bit. He'd been so focused on working in the darkness that he hadn't noticed her wake. Reaching over to the bedside table, he flipped on the small lamp and watched as Kaylee shielded her face with her good hand at the new light source. Blinking rapidly, her green eyes adjusted and she forced herself to meet his gaze. "I'm sorry."

Frowning softly, Simon made sure her arm was wrapped tightly and then edged closer, running a hand through her soft hair. "Don't be," he told her quietly. "I just want to help. I want you to know that I'm here, no matter what." Leaning down, he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and whispered, "I love you, Kaylee. Nothing will change that."

Swallowing thickly, she murmured, "I know. I love you, too." As he leaned back to again study her pale, stricken face, Kaylee blinked back a few more tears and then murmured, "It scared me."

His brow furrowing as he tried to put two and two together, Simon asked, "Shen me?"

"When I cut myself an' it didn't hurt," she explained, turning her head slightly to the side. A lone tear rolled from the corner of her eye down into her hair and Simon caught the next one with his thumb as she added, "I ain't never felt so hollow afore, so dead. Not even after Miranda or nothin'. I feel like …" Her voice faltered as she realized what she was about to say. She realized it would sound foolish and possibly weak and that wasn't who she was nor was it the woman Simon deserved.

But Simon refused to let her hide any longer. "Feel like what, bao bei?" he asked quietly, his hand still running soothingly through her hair, his other resting gently against her waist.

Sighing heavily, Kaylee closed her eyes and forced the words out in a rush. "Like I'm empty. Like there ain't nothin' left an' I ain't never gonna feel again."

Simon had been fairly certain that his already aching heart could not hurt more. But Kaylee's words proved him wrong. He was the one who should feel dead on the inside – hell, if it hadn't been for Kaylee he probably would be – dead, lifeless, unable to feel or love anyone except his beloved sister. Kaylee had given him so much and now it seemed a foolish act of his planning was going to take those same traits away from her.

"You will, Kaylee, you will." Simon wished he knew of a way to heal her, heal this pain, but there was nothing. Leaning over her again, he kissed her forehead, and kept whispering, "You will," even as his lips traveled from her forehead to her eyelids to her cheeks and finally to her soft lips.

Kaylee had expected to again feel nothing once Simon's lips closed over hers, but she found instead her body responded in an instant at the contact. Reaching her good hand up and wrapping it around his neck, she kept his mouth on hers, forcing him to part his lips as her tongue thrust hungrily against them. As his tongue found hers, Kaylee tightened her hand on his neck, slipping her fingers through his hair. She wished her other arm was better so she could more firmly hold him, but as her tongue explored his mouth and they kissed each other breathless, she realized she didn't really need it.

Forced to part for air, Simon pulled away from her panting. His forehead resting against hers, he breathed, "Kaylee-"

Kissing him again, Kaylee moved her lips from his, across his cheek until her tongue swirled around his ear. "Don't, Simon. No talkin'." As he wrapped one strong arm around her shoulders, her continued ministrations causing him to shudder, she whispered hotly, "Make love to me."

The words sent a jolt of need and desire straight to his groin and Simon felt his pants tightening uncomfortably. Unable to meet her gaze as her mouth moved down his neck and began to nip at the skin of his shoulder, he trembled and murmured, "Are you sure?"

Nodding once, Kaylee sucked on the flesh for another moment, before finally pulling away. Struggling to sit up, she accepted his help and waited until they were facing each other before speaking. Resting her hand to his cheek, she said, "I wanna feel, Simon." Moving the hand she held to his face down to the front of his shirt, she wrapped her fist into the material and drew his mouth back to hers. "Make me feel," she whispered, her breath tickling his lips before she crushed her mouth hungrily over his.

Despite Simon's better judgment, his body could not deny her. Wrapping one hand into her hair and kissing her more urgently than before, Simon moved his other arm back around her waist, pulling her body flush with his. Kaylee moaned against his mouth as she felt his hardening length press into her thigh and Simon groaned as her free hand roamed down the front of his chest to his pants. Her dexterous fingers made short work of the fastenings and within a minute she had freed him from the confines of his pants and shorts. As her fingertips lightly brushed against him, Simon nibbled at her lips before lowering his mouth to her neck and sucking even harder on the skin there.

Kaylee's head fell back as he pushed aside the collar of her shirt to expose more skin, his tongue and teeth alternately laving and grazing the flesh. Each pass of his mouth made her body tremble with anticipation and Kaylee delighted in it. Her core was already warm and getting hotter as Simon's sure hands moved down her body. Cupping her breasts through her clothes and gently massaging them, his expert fingers tweaked the already hard nipples, eliciting a small squeal of pleasure from her.

Discouraged by the amount of clothing they were still wearing, Simon forced himself to pull his mouth from her neck. Smiling softly at the adorable pout that clouded her face, he reached for the buttons of her tunic, taking time to unfasten each one. His fingers slipped under the fabric to brush against her heated skin and Kaylee let out a shuddering breath as he finally reached the buttons between her heaving breasts. Passing light hands over the sensitive flesh, Simon's smile grew deeper as Kaylee's pants came faster. Her eyes, wild with passion, met his coy gaze and he watched her return his small grin as she moved her hand up to meet his, placing it firmly inside her shirt and over one of her almost bared breasts.

"You always were good at giving instruction," he murmured as he brought his mouth back to her swollen lips and kissed her again, this time taking a moment to tease her lips with his tongue before crushing them together.

Squirming beneath him as he leaned over her more fully, Kaylee managed to respond, "You were always pretty good at followin' 'em."

Simon smiled against her mouth, as the hand already inside her undone shirt ran down her side and wrapped around the small of her back. Laying her out fully on the bed, he parted her knees carefully with one of his own, covering her warm, supple body with his. He was careful of her injured arm, and worked the rest of the buttons on her shirt so that the flimsy fabric finally fell to her sides, exposing her chest and stomach to him.

Leaning away, Simon stared at the perfection of her for a moment, his hand moving back around to the front to draw lazy circles on her flat stomach. Shifting again, Kaylee's hips rubbed against his erection and Simon hissed sharply at the contact, his eyes rolling into the back of his head. "Don't keep me waitin'," she reminded him, doing her best to rid him of his shirt with just the one hand.

Regaining use of his senses, Simon noticed her struggle and sat up. Quickly unbuttoning his shirt, he dropped the garment onto the floor and then stood, shrugging out of his pants and unders all at once. Moving back to her, Kaylee's eyes flicked up and down his deliciously naked form and Simon did not miss the lustful fire burning in her eyes.

Sitting back down beside her, he slowly undid the clasp of her trousers, taking extra care to brush his fingers against her. He tried hard to hide his smile of satisfaction when she let out a low mewl in the back of her throat, but apparently, he didn't try hard enough. "You're doin' that on purpose," she panted, barely able to say the words as her body responded to his touch.

Not answering her, Simon finally pulled the pants off her legs, removing her panties as well. Discarding them beside his shirt, he looked back to her now naked form and released the smallest sigh of content.

Kaylee caught him staring, and felt her despair rising again. She just wanted him, inside her, making love to her so hard he could break her. She needed that, needed that release and that distraction. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew it was selfish and probably wrong, but she didn't care.

Reaching out her hand to him, Kaylee waited until he'd grasped it firmly in his own, before tugging him back on top of her. "Please, Simon," she breathed as their lips met again. "Make me feel."

Her desperation was almost his complete undoing. Kissing her again, Simon gently nudged her thighs apart with one of his knees and, positioning himself at her wet and warm entrance, he slid his throbbing length inside of her. He entered her in one smooth motion, just the way she liked and Kaylee's hips instinctively rose off the bed to meet the welcome intrusion.

Both of them gasping as they again let the exquisite feel of their joined bodies wash over them, Simon gently cupped her cheeks in his hands as he began to move. He went slowly, pushing into her as far as he could before pulling back out almost completely and then repeating the motion. Kaylee, her mouth open in a silent pant, wrapped her good hand around his shoulder, digging her nails in so hard Simon knew they would leave marks.

Kaylee was finally lost somewhere she wanted to be; she was lost in Simon. As she had been before, she was lost in his touch, his words, his breath as it came in small puffs against her cheek and her shoulder and her breasts, as his mouth moved along her flushed skin while he worked himself inside her. She wanted to do more than lie there, wanted Simon to get pleasure from their coupling as well, but his touch had left her boneless and so Kaylee did all she could to hold on tight and focus only on him.

Simon watched her closely, looking for any signs of distress, any sign that she might have realized this wasn't what she needed after all. But instead, all he saw were her closed eyelids and all he could hear were her soft little murmurs of his name as it escaped her swollen lips in breathless bursts. And he could feel her, ai ya, he could feel her. Her wet heat enveloped him, making him wish he could stay buried in her forever. He realized now, as his own movements became more erratic, that she was close, her inner walls tightening around him and flooding his already slick cock with more of her juices. She would come soon and Simon increased his rhythm, his thrusts shorter and harder as Kaylee's pants turned into cries of pleasure.

"Simon!" His name tore from her lips as one final thrust brought about her end. He held her, his arms around her lower back and her shoulders as she trembled, his own release almost coming simultaneously. Simon buried his face in the crook of Kaylee's neck, inhaling her wonderfully sweet scent and the smell of their coupling on her skin.

He continued to hold her as her body continued to ride out the aftermath of her orgasm, but as one minute ticked by into two and Simon regained his own senses, he realized she was shaking much too hard. A sudden lump rising in his throat, Simon pushed himself onto his elbows, gazing at her strained face in the light and noticed the tears falling from under her tightly closed lids.

Gently wiping at her cheeks with his thumbs, Simon stayed buried within her as he whispered, "Bao bei? Did I hurt you? Are you all right?"

Shaking her head once, Kaylee fought to control her breathing so she could actually speak. Forcing her eyes open, she offered him a weak, sad smile. "No, sweetie, that was amazing, I just …" More tears fell and the sobs choked her throat, making any other explanation impossible.

Simon, his initial fears put to rest, knew her sadness now was again focused on her family and so, with one more brush to her lips, he rolled onto his back, bringing Kaylee with him and holding her to his chest.

Wrapping his arms around her tightly, he whispered into her hair, "Everything's going to be all right, Kaylee."

She nodded once, and gently laid her injured arm over his stomach. "Just hold me, 'kay?"

Embracing her more tightly in silent answer, Simon found himself praying to the Shepherd as she continued to cry.

xoxoxoxoxo

Inara wondered if she might be making an irrevocable mistake. She sat nervously in a small office, the room lined with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, all crammed with papers and books. She had been waiting for a little over ten minutes and she knew it was the prolonged time alone with her thoughts that was causing her doubt.

Mal and Serenity had been off chasing after Kaylee's family for only a little over two days. But in those two days, Kaylee had wound up in the hospital for cutting herself and Simon had finally taken his leave from work, choosing to stay home with her. The Tams seemed to be getting on fairly well with the Butlers and so Inara had found herself bored. Bored and still curious …

She wanted to see her daughter, wanted to know her. And that desire, one that had been a constant in the past six months was what had propelled her to this small room in the orphanage Kaylee had been volunteering at. The same orphanage her daughter had been adopted from a little over ten years ago.

The sound of the door opening jolted Inara from her thoughts and she rose to face the woman who entered. Extending her hand, she asked, "Tabitha Marshall, I presume?"

The other woman shook the offered hand and then gestured Inara back to her seat. As she sat behind her desk, the director told her, "Tabby, please, Miss Serra?"

Nodding once in acknowledgement, Inara corrected, "Inara, thank you. I do appreciate you seeing me on such short notice."

Smiling kindly, Tabby told her, "Well, Kaylee has mentioned you often enough. How is she?"

"About as well as can be expected," Inara answered vaguely, the mention of her hurting friend causing her guilt to resurface. "She's actually the reason I came."

"Oh?"

"Well, I realize that Kaylee was going to be on her honeymoon by now anyway, so you might have already made other arrangements." Ai ya, she was rambling. _Snap out of it, Inara_. Taking a deep breath, she paused and then said, "I actually came to see if I might volunteer for a bit in her place."

The slightly shocked look that flashed in the woman's eyes was not lost on Inara. Tabby sat back in her chair and regarded Inara for a moment in silence. "Well, we can always use the help. We'll need to do a background check of course …" She let another pause fall between them and then asked, "Have you ever worked with children before?"

Fixing Tabitha was a small smirk, Inara told her, "If you'd ever met my nang peng you, you wouldn't be asking that question."

Barking out a sharp laugh, Tabby stood and extended her hand to Inara. "Oh, you'll do very well here." Shuffling through a few papers on her desk, she handed her one and said, "Fill this out and we'll get that check done right away. You should be able to come back tomorrow morning as long as nothing flags us."

Accepting the form, Inara nodded once, murmuring a 'thank you' as Tabby again left. Sinking into her seat, Inara closed her eyes for a moment and whispered a silent prayer.

xoxoxoxoxo

Rafe tossed in his narrow bunk and sighed mightily. When exactly had it become impossible for him to sleep without River's warm form next to him? He had already been to the bridge, asking her to come to bed, but with that enigmatic smile she favored, she'd simply told him to go ahead without her. And now, he was simply abusing his mattress as he tossed from one side to the other.

Sighing heavily once again, he threw an arm over his eyes, trying to count sheep or some fool thing. He was so focused on his own breathing, he didn't hear the whisper of the screen as it slid open and closed. But he did feel the dip in the mattress as River settled onto the bunk.

Snapping his eyes open, he smiled lazily at her as she straddled his prone form, her knees on either side of his hips. Resting his hands at her waist, his smile deepened as she lowered her mouth to his, kissing him almost chastely, her hair tickling his bare chest.

As she pulled away, her liquid eyes staring into his blue, he asked her, "Finally feelin' sleepy, Riv?"

Cocking an eyebrow at him, River wiggled a bit, getting a slight groan from him as her hips placed delicious pressure on his groin. "Not so much sleepy, no," she told him coyly. Dipping her head close once again, she smiled against his mouth as he cradled the back of her head in his hand and kissed her urgently.

It was easy for River to become lost in this, lost in the physical sensation of being close to Rafe. His love for her flowed so easily from his mind into hers that River was often overwhelmed by the depth of his emotion. She had no idea when the two of them had become so important to the other, but she craved the contact, the closeness that came with it.

Dropping her hands to his chest, River stretched her body on top of his, her small breasts pressing firmly into his flesh as she pulled herself taut against him. Rafe's hands moved down and around her waist, one sinking lower to grip at her bottom and push it more firmly against his growing hardness. River gasped into his mouth at the feeling, both physical and emotional that sparked through her at the contact.

Rafe's tongue battled for dominance with her own and River realized that she wanted to give herself over to this – to him. She wanted to be lost, she wanted to disengage the walls she'd spent the year or so since Miranda building. If she could just feel, she knew the pleasure would be undeniable – and her connection to Rafe would be unbreakable.

As his hands groped at her flesh, trying valiantly to touch every part of her and set her on fire, River slowly pried her walls down, one at a time. She felt one swing away and sighed as another bit of Rafe's emotions washed through her. Her own body was already burning from his touch, her core beginning to heat from the inside out and River realized how ready she was to be consumed by him, by his love for her. She wanted to do the same for him.

One by one, the walls came down and River felt her mind start to spin out of control. She fought the fear that came. Rafe interpreted her gasp of surprise as one of pleasure and redoubled his efforts, his hands roaming up her thigh and stroking her sides. His hand was warm against her pale skin, his fingers having found the hem of her thin dress and bunched it up just above her hips.

River attacked his mouth with abandon, doing her best to ride the wave of good emotion she felt and ignore the niggling fear that was becoming more and more pronounced. As the walls fell, emotions and images she worked hard to keep at bay flooded through, the good with the bad, and she tightened her hands where they were wrapped around his shoulders, digging in hard as she watched herself cut down a Reaver on Miranda.

Rafe broke his mouth away from hers, surprised by the amount of pressure in her hands as they dug in his flesh. Worried that something was wrong, he lifted one hand to her face, tilting her chin up so he could look in her eyes. The lack of recognition in those brown depths frightened him.

"Riv?" he questioned softly, bringing his other hand up and cradling her cheeks. "River, can you hear me?"

Inhaling sharply, River sat up swiftly as everyone's emotions on the ship flooded through her consciousness. The captain was sad and missing Inara, worried that their relationship was too good to be true; Zoe was dreaming again of Wash, her hands roaming over her body as she imagined her dead husband's touch; Jayne was dreaming of Vera – not the gun, the woman – and his despair as he watched her die again in his dreams cut through River like a knife. And there was Badger; trussed up a few feet away, his thoughts murderous and angry at being held against his will.

Finally, there was Rafe, his desire and passion clouded now by fear and concern over River's behavior. And River, filled to bursting with the emotions of everyone else could no longer sort out her own feelings; she was out of control.

"Too soon," she murmured, pushing herself off of Rafe and standing on shaky legs. "Too soon, not enough control." Closing her eyes, she saw more images flash by, the ones that she tried so hard to keep at bay, the ones she tried to pretend belonged to someone else. The ones of her killing and murdering; ones of her covered in blood. When her walls were in place, steady and strong, she could make believe that all of that darkness, all of that badness had happened to someone else; she could pretend that she had never gone to the Academy, that she had never been trained to kill or been taken apart and put back together again. She couldn't pretend anymore.

"River?" Rafe reached out a hand to her, which she shied away from, backing to the far side of the bunk, her shoulder blades hitting the wall hard. He watched in horror as tears welled in her eyes. Sitting up swiftly and doing his best to ignore the hardness between his legs, he crouched in front of her and whispered, "River, what is it? Did I hurt ya, babe?"

"Too much, too soon," she whispered again. Bringing large eyes back to his face, she stared for a second more before bolting, the screen door left open hastily in her wake. Sighing, Rafe dropped his chin to his chest doing his best to collect himself. He had never pushed her for anything more physical although Buddha knew he wanted too.

It turned his stomach to think of how eagerly he'd accepted her advances tonight, not even questioning the sudden change in her behavior or if she was truly ready. You are a sick dog, Rafe, he admonished himself, shifting to sit on the edge of his bunk. His erection was lessening quickly and he decided to wait a few more moments before going after his girl.

The fear in her eyes had him worried as did the fact that kissing him had put it there.

xoxoxoxoxo

Translations: _Nang peng you_ - Boyfriend


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

xoxoxoxoxo

Mal wandered into the galley, glad to find it deserted. He needed time to sort through this impossible mess they had found themselves in. With a heavy sigh, he headed for the stove, putting on a pot of water and pawing through Inara's stash of tea bags. She always kept the fruity ones near the top, but he had long ago cultivated his own taste for the bitter leaves and found that Earl Grey suited him just fine.

"You like the other flavors, too. You just won't admit it."

The voice that floated to him should have caused him to jump or maybe tense for a moment. But it didn't; wondering if that meant he was growing soft in his old age, he waited until the kettle had boiled and then poured two cups of the steaming liquid. Turning from the stove and heading to the table, he placed one in front of River. She had drawn her knees up to her chest, folding herself into one of the chairs like a rag doll. With her big and all-knowing eyes she regarded him steadily, ignoring the hot liquid as Mal sat down heavily beside her and blew on his own drink.

"Be that as it may," he answered, after taking a sip and burning the very tip of his tongue. "I can't be lettin' folks know I do. Ruin my image."

River kept her silence for another minute as she watched him take another hesitant sip. While she had been trying over the past few days to keep a lid on her abilities to read others, she found Mal's emotions strong, swirling on the surface in a myriad of colors that forced her to pay attention. Which was why she knew he cared as much about his image as he cared for Badger, who was still tied up on the deck below.

Resting a light hand to his arm, Mal glanced to her as she whispered, "That got ruined the minute you took on a crazy girl and her brother."

Mal started to refute her claim and then decided against it. Chances were River already knew a half a dozen things he could say and had already formed retorts for at least a dozen more. The girl was good – no, not girl, he scolded himself, woman. She was a young woman, rapidly falling in love with his new mechanic and trying desperately to maintain an even keel. A state of being he was only too quick to dismiss if her craziness served his purpose.

"Look, River, I-"

"It's not your fault." Her voice was a ghost of a whisper and Mal wondered how he could even make it out. He watched as she drew one pale finger along the edge of her mug, her big eyes focused on the last few wisps of steam rising from the surface. "Not your fault I'm crazy. Not your fault that my abilities are of use to you."

Clasping her hand firmly in his, Mal retorted, "Yeah, but usin' you is my fault. An' it's gotta stop. You're your own person now an' I can tell you've been tryin' to keep things under control. It ain't righ' o' me to jus' ignore what you want 'cause it serves a purpose."

"I don't know what to do," she finally admitted, lifting her sad gaze to his face. "I want to be normal. I want to be with Rafe, but I can't …" Releasing a heavy sigh, she pulled her hand from him, placing them both in her lap and again casting her eyes to the floor. "It's not right for me to pretend that I'm normal." Pausing again, she finally murmured, "It's just a lie."

"River, there ain't nobody in the 'verse who's normal," Mal told her firmly. Reaching across the table, he cupped her chin in his hand and brought her face back up to look at him. "Normal's the lie. Me an' everybody else on this boat jus' wants you to be River."

"But I don't know who she is," she told him desperately, her voice dropping to a hoarse whisper that Mal suspected was hiding tears. "Is she the girl I was before the Academy? Or the one who killed a room full of Reavers?" Her eyes searched his for an answer and Mal found he didn't have one; which she had, of course, already known.

Glancing back over her shoulder in the general direction of the crew bunks, she added, "Or is it the girl I am when I'm with Rafe?" Sighing softly, she looked back to him and continued. "Maybe it's the girl who's your pilot, your albatross. Or the girl Simon remembers from his childhood. Maybe it's the girl Rafe wants me to be or the one Jayne thinks I am." Her agitation on the rise, River slammed her open palms on the table and pushed herself out of her seat.

Mal watched with a furrowed brow as her thin arms trembled from the weight of her conflict, a few tears pooling in the bottom of her incredibly huge eyes. "Don't you see? I don't know who I am – I only know what I was programmed to be." Pounding a fist over her heart, she told him brokenly, "This only confuses the issue."

He knew she had to be bruising the skin. Rising and reaching for her, River pulled away from him, dropping her chin to her chest, her hair falling across her face and hiding the pain she felt. Mal stood dumbfounded, uncertain of what exactly to do, and wishing, not for the first time, that Simon or Inara were here. They always seemed to know how to reach her.

"River?"

Turning sharply at the new voice, Mal actually felt himself relax just a bit as he took in Rafe's confused and sleep-infused face as the boy stood in the doorway. His blue eyes traveled from River's shaking form to Mal and back again as he slowly descended the few stairs into the room. Swallowing thickly, he took a hesitant step towards River, stopping immediately as she let out a small whimper and backed away from him.

Keeping his eyes focused on her, Rafe directed his question to the captain. "What happened?"

"I don't rightly know," Mal admitted. He realized, again, how much credit he had never really given Simon in the past. The boy had had to deal with River in this state more often than not and Mal felt a flare of guilt for ever implying that he wasn't doing all he could. "She's havin' a bit of a crisis, I guess you could say."

"Identity crisis brought on by environmental and social factors." Her voice was still a whisper, but now it was toneless, and Mal shuddered as he remembered the few times he'd heard it in the past. "And the addition of multiple surgeries to affect the patient's cerebral cortex and amygdala."

Rafe's throat constricted uncomfortably at her diagnosis. He had known she was struggling over the past weeks, but he had thought that perhaps their discussions had been helping. Apparently he'd been wrong. Moving forward even as she continued to retreat, he reached for her and took her firmly by the upper arms. "River, jian mei, look at me."

Shaking her head fiercely back and forth, she murmured, "No, not strong, not beautiful. It's a lie."

"It's not a lie, River." Rafe wished he knew exactly what to do. Whatever it was, he would do it in a heartbeat. But from what River had told him, even Simon, her genius brother-doctor was often at a loss regarding her behavior and so Rafe did not hold out much hope that he would miraculously find a cure. "You have to believe me."

"No, can't give into feelings." She wrenched herself out of his hold, again banging her small, sharp fist over her heart as if trying to beat them out of chest. "Feelings don't count, can't count. Can't be quantified, can't be explained."

Rafe could hear the hollow sound of her striking herself and he reached for her again, catching the fist in his strong grasp. Placing his other hand to her cheek, he pressed his forehead to hers and whispered, "River, please. Don't do this. Let me help."

"Can't help," she murmured. With a pained expression that could have easily rendered both men speechless, she looked first to Rafe and then to the captain, before settling her gaze on the man she so desperately loved. Someone she loved to the point that it was making her crazier.

"Can't be two people, only one," she told him. Stepping away, she moved to stand before Mal and whispered, "Your albatross, your reader. That's who I am." Looking back to Rafe with eyes full of tears and sadness, she shook her head once. "Not a woman, not meant to be loved."

Pressing a hand over her mouth to stifle the sob that rose at her admission, she turned and bolted from the room, leaving both men absolutely stunned. As Rafe felt any and all hope seep out of his pores, he started at the hand Mal placed on his shoulder. "Give her some time, son. She's not used to all this."

"She already told me about her past," Rafe explained, trying not to be jealous of his captain. Why had she chosen him? It seemed incredibly unfair. "And I already told her it doesn't make a bit o' difference to me."

Sighing heavily, Mal dropped his gaze to the deck, wishing he knew what to say to the younger man to make any of this easier. "An' I'm guessin' a part o' her believes you." Bringing his sympathetic gaze back to the mechanic, he added, "But there's an even bigger part that don't. An' until she reconciles the two, I'm guessin' you're jus' gonna have to be patient. There's things she-" Mal paused abruptly, knowing that the details of River's troubled past were not his to share, even if he felt full disclosure was in her best interest.

Frustrated beyond belief, Rafe let out a small growl as he stalked across the room. "What is it you all aren't tellin' me?" he demanded, blue eyes no longer sad but angry. "What is it that River an' you think I can't handle?"

As Mal stammered in an effort to find a suitable answer, Rafe continued. "I already know her folks gave her up to them monsters an' that what they did to her made her different, more different than any other folk. And I don't care."

Sighing heavily, Mal rubbed a hand across his neck, trying to ease some of his tension. It was as he suspected; there was a slew of information Rafe did not know and he was starting to believe that perhaps the weight of those secrets was what was affecting his albatross. In silence, he moved back to the pantry, opening his own locker and pulling out a half full bottle of honey colored liquid.

Resuming his seat, he pushed the tea cup away and gestured for Rafe to join him. As the younger man sullenly took a seat, Mal uncapped the liquor and took a swig, before passing the bottle to his crewman. Eyeing it for a moment, Rafe hesitated and Mal told him, "Look, son, if'n we're really gonna talk 'bout this, you're gonna need it. Trust me."

Frowning, Rafe took the bottle and took his own drink, his eyes watering as the rich liquid burned a pleasantly warm path down to his belly. Setting the bottle back on the table between them, he regarded Mal with clear eyes as the captain asked, "I'm guessin' she never told you 'bout Miranda?"

Rafe's eyes clouded with confusion and Mal sighed again. Taking another drink, he murmured, "Yeah, that's what I thought," before he settled back and began the story.

xoxoxoxoxo

They were only about an hour out from the rendezvous point with Badger's slavers, but Mal still could not sleep. He had shooed Rafe off to bed, the man's eyes wide as saucers as he finished divulging the key moments of River's past year. He'd felt a sting of guilt for betraying her confidence, but he quickly dismissed the regret. He couldn't have her or Rafe moping about his boat, miserable without the other. Just another reason why he hated shipboard romances. And if she wanted to take a swing at him for telling the truth, then he'd let her – but Mal refused to apologize.

Wearily making his way to the bridge, he steadied his hand against the bulkhead as the room swam slightly. Maybe finishing off that bottle of whiskey hadn't been the smartest idea during a job, but he couldn't take it back now. Waiting until the pilot's seat stilled its circular motion, Mal stumbled into it and let out a heavy sigh. Talking about River and Miranda and all that had transpired had dredged up quite a few unpleasant memories for Mal himself. The images of Wash and the Shepherd now floated in his mind's eye, as did the look of his ship as he'd set eyes on her again, before they'd had a moment to fix her up.

The memory of his crew, bloody and broken, of Haven, smoking and ruined, of the grave sites of their friends were all again at the forefront of his consciousness and he wished like hell they'd leave him in peace. Of course, the memory of Kaylee's pained expression when he'd left her on Sihnon a little over three days ago was there as well, and that one was almost worse.

But even Mal had to admit that all of his memories of the past year were not bad – there were a few, quite a few actually, that were good, very good. Of course, almost all of them revolved around a certain former Companion with dark, curly hair and a sultry smile … a woman of such class and dignity she should have taken one look at him and his boat and walked hurriedly in the opposite direction. But, for whatever reason, she hadn't. Inara Serra had rented his shuttle and then stolen his heart and he found comfort in that knowledge.

Flipping on the cortex, he keyed in a special access code and waited as the screen blinked to life. His mind still wandering to all the glorious days and nights he'd spent with his arms wrapped around Inara's warm form, he felt himself drifting into a dreamy, alcohol-laced sleep as the screen finally displayed the image he'd been seeking.

Peering at him with sleepy eyes, Inara questioned huskily, "Mal? Is that you?"

Giving her a slow, sloppy smile, he drawled, "Hey there, darlin'."

Frowning immediately, she let a bit of her annoyance show as she accused, "You're drunk."

Straightening in his chair, he raised his chin indignantly. "I am not," he told her, doing his best to concentrate on each word so he would not slur them. "Just had a few sips with Rafe, is all."

"Is River all right?" Inara knew the young mechanic; for him to be up in the middle of the night, drinking was a sure sign that something was very wrong.

Nodding once, Mal told her, "Yeah, she'll be fine. This ain't exactly been the easiest job we've ever pulled."

"You've never pulled an easy job," she retorted easily, her voice holding no real malice. Studying him in silence for a moment, she finally asked, "Have you heard anything?"

Sobering, Mal rubbed a hand over his face to shake off the hazy effects of the drink. "Yeah, actually, we have. That's why I called. I thought maybe you could tell Kaylee an' the doc for me."

Nodding once, Inara sat forward eagerly. "Of course. What did you find?"

"Well, Badger, unfortunately," Mal reported, wrinkling his nose in a familiar expression of disgust that brought a small smile to Inara's lips. "Apparently, he was a bit more knowledgeable on the subject of slavers than I gave him credit for."

Muttering a strong curse under her breath, Inara said, "I can't believe even he would sink that low." Swallowing back her disgust for the man, she pressed, "And?"

"The slavers got one more ship to hit for they head out to sell." Mal again wiped at his face, suddenly wishing he had some cold water to splash on his skin. That normally did the trick in waking him up. "We're on our way to intercept 'em now."

Her brown eyes widening in fear, Inara said, "You can't, Mal. What good are you, Zoe, Jayne and River going to be against a ship full of professional slavers?"

"Hey now, this is no time to be questioning my abilities," Mal retorted, frowning mightily. "'Sides, River's gonna stay here, be our getaway driver. So it'll be me, Zoe and Jayne."

"Oh, yes, that changes the odds immensely," Inara muttered sarcastically, offering him an eye roll that he found absolutely adorable. "Mal, this-"

"Look, 'Nara, as much as I'd love to come up with another plan, time is up. We're scheduled to meet up with these gents in less than an hour. If'n we're gonna get Kaylee's family back the best place to get at 'em is when they're still on board. Once they've been sold, we'll have to deal with a whole bunch of security that I know we can't breach."

She knew he was right, but that didn't make her fear for him or her worry for the rest of the crew any less. "Just be careful, all right?" Her brown eyes now full of concern, she studied him intently. "I mean it, Mal. I'm expecting you and I have to decades more of fighting ahead of us."

"An' makin' up?" he asked with a sly grin that made her heart flutter.

"Yes, you egotist. And making up." She smiled to him then, a genuinely warm smile that he had seen hundreds of times and would gladly die to see hundreds of times more. "So you have to come back. In one piece, dong ma?"

Whistling softly through his teeth, Mal told her, "Now that's a tall order, darlin'." Gesturing to his chest, he said, "You know how this skin just attracts bullet wounds."

Her face sobering at his morbid attempt at humor, she told him haltingly, "That's not funny, Mal."

She was right. "I'm sorry, darlin', I shouldn't o' said that." Blushing slightly, he dropped his eyes from the screen in a look of contrition and then glanced back to her. "Back in one piece. Got it."

Silence fell between them as Inara's heart raced at the thought of the danger he would soon be placing himself in. Swallowing thickly, she met his steady gaze, amazed at the power those blue eyes had on her from such a distance. Mal stared right back, easily lost in the warmth of her brown eyes, even from so far away.

"You all right?" he asked softly, thinking that maybe he'd seen a flash of something else in those beautiful orbs.

Nodding once, Inara told him stiffly, "I'm fine." Trying not to let any of her guilt show at using Kaylee's volunteer work as an oeuvre to finding her daughter, she added, "I'm just worried about you and Kaylee." Lowering her voice, she confided, "She's not doing well, Mal. Not at all."

Swallowing hard, Mal bit back the anger he felt at the complete unfairness of the 'verse. "Just tell her to hold on. We're gonna get her family back to her right quick."

She nodded again and then lifted her hand to the screen, gently resting her fingertips against the cool surface. Mal mirrored the gesture and smiled at her. "I'll see ya soon, darlin'," he promised in a whisper.

"I know," she admitted, her voice just as soft, before she forced herself to end the connection.

Once the screen had again turned to black, Mal slumped in his chair. Oh yeah, this was gonna go great.

xoxoxoxoxo

Simon answered the door, praying that it wasn't his parents. While he had not seen them since their dinner party with the Butlers, he was still hesitant to try and entertain them, especially given Kaylee's current state.

However, his momentary fear gave way to unbelievable gratitude as he ushered Eli and Evelyn into the apartment. Shaking Eli's hand and offering Evelyn a kiss to the cheek, Simon showed them into the living room.

"It's wonderful to see you both," he told them, a genuine smile on his features. As they sat, he took a seat across from them and asked, "Can I get you anything?"

Waving away his politeness, Eli told him, "No, Simon, we're fine. Besides, if we need anything, we're both full grown adults and can get it ourselves."

Relaxing for what felt like the first time in months, Simon nodded and sat back in his seat as his two guests regarded him closely. Clasping her hand over her husband's, Evelyn asked, "How is Kaylee?"

Frowning, Simon could tell his expression betrayed his anxiety as the husband and wife shared a concerned look. "Not well," he admitted, shifting in his seat. Glancing towards the bedroom, he added, "She's sleeping a bit more regularly now and I haven't had to use a smoother, but …" Again meeting Eli's gaze, he told the man, "The incident with the glass has thrown me. I'm really worried about her."

Rising, Evelyn sat beside Simon on the sofa and patted his knee. "You're doing everything you can for her, Simon. We know that and so does she." Simon smiled faintly at her encouragement. Holding his gaze for a second more, she finally asked, "Do you mind if I go sit with her?"

Shaking his head, Simon answered, "No, I'm sure she'd enjoy the company. She was sleeping a little while ago, but …"

Again patting his knee, Evelyn flashed a grand smile to Simon and her husband as she moved from the room. "Oh, we'll be fine. Don't you worry."

Both men watched her go, Simon feeling another deep swell of gratitude to the Butlers. In truth, he was growing weary of sitting with Kaylee. She hadn't made much of a move to get out of bed in the past day or so and he hadn't wanted to push. But given her injury, he was also wary of leaving her alone. Simon was simply relieved that Evelyn had volunteered; maybe Kaylee would be able to speak with her about things she didn't want to discuss with Simon.

"And how are you, son?"

Eli's deep voice pulled Simon from his thoughts. He offered the man a wan smile and retorted, "You really want me to answer that?"

Returning Simon's grin, the older doctor sat back and said, "I wouldn't have asked if I didn't."

Sighing again, Simon leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, studying his hands intertwined before him. How was he? Honestly, he wasn't sure. "All right, I suppose," he began slowly, his eyes still focused on his fingers. "Worried, of course, anxious-"

"And scared out of your mind," Eli added, offering Simon the courtesy of speaking the words so he wouldn't have to.

Smiling wryly, the younger man glanced to his boss and friend and asked dryly, "Is it that obvious?"

Shrugging, Eli answered, "Maybe not to some, but you forget – I met you when Kaylee was in grave danger. I've seen you in a state of distress before. I know the signs."

Sitting back with a small harrumph, Simon murmured, "Well, there goes my theory that I'm actually hard to read."

Smiling wide, Eli told him, "Oh, not to worry, son. You're not as transparent as all that, at least not to those who don't know you."

Simon grinned, guessing that were true. There had been plenty of moments in the past when both River and Kaylee had been able to read Simon's emotions or mood with little to no influence from him. It had initially caught him off guard as no one before had ever had that type of insight into his psyche; not even his parents.

"Speaking of transparent," Simon drawled, allowing sarcasm to color his tone. "How was your evening with my parents?" As Eli best decided how to form an answer, Simon added, "I haven't seen them since that morning." Leaning forward, he dropped his voice to a conspiratorial whisper and asked, "You didn't kill them did you?"

Laughing jovially, Eli was glad to see Simon join him. The boy looked about fifteen when he smiled, his eyes sparkling with joy that Eli had only seen Kaylee and his sister normally bring about. Recovering first, Eli answered, "No, they are both alive and well." Pausing, he studied Simon in silence for a moment, trying to determine how best to address the topic of his father.

Simon noticed the suddenly serious expression that crossed Eli's face and mentally cursed his father for whatever the man had done to either offend or upset his friend. Leaning forward, he said hurriedly, "Look, if my father or mother did or said anything to upset you or Evelyn, I-"

Raising a hand, Eli's statement was harsher than he anticipated. "Don't ever apologize for them, Simon." As Simon blinked in surprise at the bite to the man's words, Eli quickly did his best to explain. "In fact, if anything, I should be apologizing to you."

Blushing fiercely Simon dropped his chin to his chest and let out a small chuckle. "I assume you were subjected to some of my father's opinions."

Sitting back again, Eli answered, "I could care less about his political affiliations. It was his dismissal of you and Kaylee that sent both Evelyn and I over the edge."

Anger flashed in Simon's eyes as he took in the statement, his gaze snapping back up to lock on Eli's face. His body tensing as it readied itself to do battle with his father, he demanded, "What did he say about Kaylee?"

Rising, Eli realized his mistake and mentally kicked himself for it. He and Evie had come over here to help the two of them, not make it worse. Sitting beside Simon, he patted the man's knee in reassurance. "Nothing you need to concern yourself with. Let's just say they were a bit put out about having to reschedule the wedding and a bit less concerned about the whereabouts of Kaylee's family."

"Tian xiao de," Simon muttered beneath his breath, shaking his head stiffly. "They're really unbelievable."

Agreeing with that assessment, Eli moved his hand to Simon's shoulder and squeezed slightly. Waiting until the younger man's eyes were back on his face, he told him sincerely, "I'm sorry, Simon. Sorry for ever giving you a hard time regarding your relationship with your parents. I should have known that for you to have such strong feelings it must be deserved. I guess as a parent, I didn't want to believe that, but I can't deny what I was witness to. I … well, I'm sorry," he finished quietly, dropping his hand to his lap and looking away.

Simon studied his profile for a moment, his anger at his father quickly fading into deep respect for the man beside him. Simon was fairly certain that the great Gabriel Tam had never apologized to anyone a day in his life. For Eli to admit so openly that he'd been wrong – and more importantly, that Simon had been right – only served to prove how good of a father and a man Eli was.

Swallowing hard, Simon blinked once and said, "Thank you, really. That means a lot coming from you."

Clapping him on the back, Eli added, "I hope you know how much Evie and I care for you and Kaylee both. Anything you need, anything at all, just ask." As Simon smiled his gratitude, the older man answered, "That goes for your sister too."

Stiffening involuntarily at the man's words, Simon felt an irrational fear grip his heart. Of course Eli had met River before, fairly briefly, but they still had met, and he knew, in vague terms that some of the rift between Simon and his parents had to do with his little sister. And now, after so many years of being away from the Alliance and no longer afraid of their scrutiny, Simon wondered why he should be so nervous.

Turning to fully face the man, Simon asked, "What does this have to do with my sister?"

Noting the boy's sudden change in demeanor, Eli raised his hands in a sign of truce. "I just meant that I can't believe River has a good relationship with them either. And she's decidedly younger than you. Every girl needs guidance or advice now and then." Lowering his voice, he reminded him, "And Evelyn and I have raised two beautiful daughters, if I do say so myself."

Smiling tightly, Simon nodded once and tried to will his heart rate to slow back to normal. Watching closely as Simon's fists again relaxed, Eli asked, "Is everything with River all right?"

Nodding again, Simon swallowed hard and rose, walking across the room to stare out the sliding glass doors to the darkening night sky. Crossing his arms over his chest, Simon answered, "Yes, of course. She's fine. She went with Mal and the others."

"And that Rafe character?" Eli teased, rising to stand beside the young man. "How is it, knowing your sister's finally fallen in love?"

His face blanching at the man's words, Simon stuttered, "Ah, fine, I guess. Listen, Eli, I'd really rather not talk about River."

A bit surprised at the man's bluntness, Eli nodded and murmured, "All right, of course. I didn't mean to upset you."

Sighing heavily, Simon again dropped his chin to his chest, rubbing anxiously at the back of his neck. He trusted Eli and Evelyn and knew that the older man was only trying to be kind; it wasn't fair for Simon to so blatantly dismiss his compassion.

"I'm sorry, Eli," Simon said quietly, lifting his gaze back to the man's puzzled expression. Wondering if there was anyway he could explain his behavior, he added, "River has been through a lot. Her and I together have been through a lot and … Well, we've had to go it alone for a while now and I just …" Simon paused again, another sigh escaping his lips involuntarily. River's storied past and his own struggle to heal her was something he had discussed with Eli in roundabout, non-specific ways. Now that he considered the man a surrogate father and Eli had all but professed that he thought of Simon as his own son, he wondered what fear could possibly be the cause for his silence.

However, Eli seemed to realize that Simon's reticence was borne from more than just a fierce brotherly love. "It's all right, Simon. I never meant to imply anything but support."

Smiling softly, Simon murmured, "I know. And maybe some day I'll fill you in on everything that's happened with River. But not today." Glancing back over his shoulder, he cast a forlorn gaze in Kaylee's general direction before adding, "Not now."

Eli returned the young man's small grin and nodded. "I agree with you there, Simon. I think we've got all we can handle."

As if to prove the point, the door chime sounded and Simon hurried to greet the latest visitor. As he opened the door to meet Inara's concerned gaze, he smiled tightly to his friend as she told him quickly, "I have news."

xoxoxoxoxo


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

xoxoxoxoxo

River piloted the ship easily to the far side of one of Ariel's moons. Zoe, Jayne and the Captain had already disembarked, taking one of the shuttles to the transport ship. River had wanted to join them, knowing she could be more than useful in a firefight, but Mal had insisted she stay with Serenity. _We're gonna need a fast getaway, darlin',_ he'd told her, his eyes full of the mischievous twinkle they always held before a job. _I need my pilot at the controls._

So, with very little argument, River had stayed behind with Badger, still trussed up in the passenger dorms, and Rafe. Shivering slightly, River pulled her knees up into her chest, wrapping her long, sinewy arms around them. She had not spoken to Rafe since her outburst in the galley a few hours ago and he had not come to find her either. She knew that Mal had told him more about her – about her ability to kill and fight like the assassin she'd been trained to be. She knew because she had felt Rafe's repulsion at the realization of what she truly was and his immense pity at the girl she could no longer be.

Shaking the thoughts away, River turned her attention to the job at hand. Whatever she had had with Rafe or wanted with him was not meant to be – she was not meant to be a normal woman with feelings and passions. Those things would only serve to confuse her, to further aggravate the schism the Alliance had placed in her mind between killer and human, assassin and woman. While Rafe's presence for a time had managed to calm her, anytime River tried to be both – tried to reconcile her special psychic abilities and her feelings for him, she could not strike a balance and something would spin out of control. The stronger her feelings became the more she feared she would eventually break apart for good.

The warning of the proximity alarm forced her attention back to the matter at hand. She watched intently as a small red dot approached the other side of the moon, setting upon the blue speck that denoted the targeted transport. Taking a deep breath, River closed her eyes and listened hard for Mal and the rest of them. She could feel their anxiety, but also their steely resolve. The three of them were born fighters and the threat of a battle did not affect them as it would others. It was a form of anticipation, the start of the adrenaline rush in their veins, the engagement of other parts of their brains – the parts that crafted strategy and focused on survival. It was a state of preparedness that River, the assassin, could identify with and with a shaky breath, she mentally joined them as they readied for battle.

xoxoxoxoxo

On the bridge of the transport ship, _Amistad_, Mal, Zoe and Jayne watched as the slaver ship approached. Zoe, closest to the controls, gave Mal a tight nod as she reported, "They're comin' in fast."

Returning her nod, Mal turned to the ship's captain and told him, "I think now would be a good time to begin the introductions."

The man, an older gentleman who had obviously been flying in the black for a while, took a deep breath and then stepped towards the comm giving a slight nod to his communications officer. As the younger woman keyed open the channel, Mal watched her fingers shake just slightly and felt a pang of sympathy for her; she couldn't have been much older than Kaylee.

"Unidentified freighter, this is Captain Michaels of the transport ship Amistad. Your current course brings you dangerously close. Please alter your trajectory."

The hazy sound of static filled the room and Mal grimaced, sharing similar looks with his crewmen. Jayne frowned over the barrel of Vera, the hulking gun already primed and ready for a fight. As he looked to Zoe, his best friend said, "Well, it was worth a shot."

Frowning, Mal told her, "You an' Jayne get down to the cargo bay and set up positions like we discussed." Glancing back to Captain Michaels, Mal ordered, "You send out another message." Looking to the pilot, he added, "And you, start doing some fancy flyin'."

The green pilot, whose skin had actually turned a light shade of lime, swallowed thickly at Mal's forceful order before turning back to his controls and keying in an alternate path. As the ship lurched to one side, Mal caught his balance on the back of the nearest chair and glared at the terrified driver. The look of disapproval was lost on the younger man though as his eyes stayed locked on the viewscreen before him, his white-knuckled hold on the controls belying his attempt at calmness.

Wondering why he hadn't brought River along, Mal waited impatiently as the captain again hailed the approaching freighter still getting no response. Knowing it was simply a lesson in futility and wasted breath, Mal placed a hard hand on the man's shoulder and told him, "Look, our informant said there's only 'bout a dozen men on board. Me an' my crew have taken' out more." Giving the gun on the man's hip a furtive glance, Mal added, "Once I leave, lock them blast doors 'til I tell you to open 'em again. Got it?"

Nodding, Michaels drew his gun, cocking the barrel and checking the ammo. As Mal moved to exit, the older man called, "I'm still not sure why you're doing this."

Pausing, Mal looked back to him and said simply, "I got family on that boat." Stepping over the threshold and into the hallway, he ordered sharply, "Lock these doors and wish us luck."

"I've been praying since you boarded," the captain said instead, hitting a button on the console at his side, the large metal doors clanging to a close.

Rolling his eyes as he started down the hallway, Mal muttered, "Great. Lotta good that'll do."

xoxoxoxoxo

Knocking softly on the door to their room, Simon pushed it open to find Evelyn sitting at Kaylee's side, the younger woman staring out the room's big window. Evie turned sad eyes to Simon as he moved to her side and took her vacated seat next to Kaylee. Standing, she turned to Inara who had followed Simon inside and murmured, "I've never seen her so upset before."

Squeezing the woman's shoulder, Inara told her, "She'll be all right. Kaylee's strong."

Simon took Kaylee's hand as Evelyn moved to exit the room, Inara heading around to the other side of the bed and sitting next to her mei mei. "Kaylee, bao bei?" Simon gently rubbed his thumb along the back of her hand, swallowing back the pain her felt at seeing her so distraught. As she finally brought those large eyes to his face, he offered her a small smile and said, "Mal and the others, they have a plan. They're going to get your family back."

Blinking rapidly, Kaylee sat up sharply, grasping for Simon's other hand and squeezing tightly. "Where? Where are they?"

"They're intercepting the slaver ship before its last stop, Kaylee," Inara interjected, running a hand through Kaylee's hair and getting the young woman's attention. "Mal promised to call as soon as everyone is back on board."

"When?" Kaylee breathed, looking expectantly from Inara to Simon and back again.

"We don't know, mei mei," Inara confided. "It could be very soon or it might take awhile. You know Mal and his plans. He doesn't always like to share the details."

"Because he makes it up as he goes along," Kaylee added dryly, getting a small chuckle from Inara and the slightest of smiles from Simon.

Focusing his attention back to his distraught fiancée, Simon rested a hand to her face and said, "See? It's going to be all right."

Holding his intense gaze, Kaylee nodded once, biting her lower lip to keep the insistent fear she still felt quelling in her gut at bay. Despite the fact that Mal had located her family and that they had put a plan into motion to get them back, Kaylee was still not convinced that she would ever see her family again. She had, after all, been privy to quite a few of Mal's plans in the past. His track record was not exactly confidence-inspiring.

As Kaylee kept her silence, Simon shared a look with Inara and the older woman took the hint. Rising gracefully, she pressed a kiss to Kaylee's forehead and whispered, "I'll be back as soon as I have some news. Take care of yourself, Kaylee."

Smiling weakly to her, Kaylee's eyes watched Inara go, before they sank slowly to her lap. Sighing heavily, she slumped unceremoniously against the headboard, pulling her hands away from Simon and tugging the covers up around her chest. "I'm tired, Simon," she said lamely, avoiding his concerned gaze.

"I know, it's all right." Edging closer, Simon studied her face, noting the worry lines and paleness that had replaced her natural glow and normally smooth skin. Running a hand through her hair, he asked, "Are you hungry? It's past dinner time and you slept through lunch."

Shaking her head once, Kaylee sighed heavily again, shifting her gaze to stare at the ceiling. "I just wanna go back to sleep."

Sighing, Simon tried not to let his frustration show, but he knew it would soon be a battle he would lose. "Kaylee, you have to eat. This isn't healthy."

Growing more petulant at his scolding, Kaylee glared at him angrily. "Jus' leave me be, Simon. I'm a grown woman, I can take care of myself."

"Obviously, you can't." Simon snapped his mouth shut as soon as the words were out, regretting that he'd thought them, let alone said them. Kaylee's angry expression colored with hurt and he watched helplessly as more tears pooled in her eyes. Reaching for her cheek, she batted his hand away and Simon pulled back instantly. Taking a deep breath, he tried to bring his anxiety back under control. "I'm sorry, Kaylee. That's not what I meant. You need to eat and keep up your strength." Pausing he took another deep breath and met her still wide-eyed gaze. "I'm worried about you. That's all I'm trying to say."

Kaylee stared for a moment, her chest heaving still with a bit of anger and a lot of hurt. She knew, deep down in the rational part of herself that her behavior was setting Simon on edge. She also knew it was unhealthy and wrong and while she was perfectly aware that her reaction to this situation could be deemed irrational, Kaylee had been unable to force herself to do anything differently. Even making love to Simon had only eased her pain for moments, causing the despair and hopelessness she felt to come crashing in more acutely the moment the euphoria passed.

"I know," she admitted quietly, and with a sigh, she pushed the covers off of herself, scooting to the far edge of the bed and standing. Simon watched in silence as she moved on unsteady legs to their large closet, entering the space and rummaging about. When she emerged a few minutes later with a large suitcase in her hand and an armful of clothes, he felt his heart drop to his feet.

Rounding the bed as Kaylee sat the suitcase down and began to meticulously pack it, Simon questioned, "What are you doing?"

Her voice was monotone and it cut through Simon like the sharpest knife. "It ain't right for me to be doin' this to you," she explained evenly, working each garment off its hanger before folding it and placing it gently in the bag. "You don't need any o' this stress an' you certainly ain't gonna wanna marry someone who so obviously can't handle it when things get tough."

Watching the love of his life slipping away, Simon's desperation finally took over. Grabbing Kaylee by the shoulders he spun her around and told her harshly, "Stop this. Kaylee, you are stronger than this."

With a heavy sigh, she did not meet his gaze, but answered in a whisper, "No, Simon, I ain't." Finally forcing her eyes to his face, she told him haltingly, "That's just it. I ain't this strong. I barely survived losing the baby … if my whole family-" Pausing abruptly, Kaylee swallowed hard feeling the rise of a sob in her throat. She dropped her eyes again, unable to take the pain she saw reflected in Simon's. "I won't survive losing all o' them an' I ain't takin' you down with me."

Resolutely stepping out of his hold, Kaylee finished her packing in silence. Simon could only stare, fear and sadness swirling uncomfortably in his gut. He had wondered over the past days if there was any way this could get worse; he realized now they had finally hit bottom.

The brisk sound of the bag being zippered pulled Simon from his reverie. Glancing to Kaylee as she hefted the bag up, he realized she had changed while he had been staring off into space, her hair now fixed into a high bun on her head. She was wearing no makeup and while her normally glowing skin did not require any, the deep, dark circles under eyes and red, puffy skin from her tears aged and weathered her beyond her years.

His heart breaking, Simon watched Kaylee stare at him for a moment, before moving forward and pressing a kiss to his cheek. "I'm sorry, Simon," she whispered against his skin, willing her voice not to crack. She needed to do this for him, needed to walk away so he would not be saddled with a woman who could barely function.

Squeezing his eyes closed, Simon released a long, suffering sigh and reached for her wrist as she moved past him. "No," he said firmly, his voice still even, but leaving no room for argument.

Defeated, Kaylee dropped her chin to her chest and murmured, "Please don't make this harder than it already is."

"How could this be harder?" he asked her. "You know running away isn't the answer. It wasn't the answer last time and it certainly isn't now."

With a hard glare, Kaylee's head snapped up, her eyes searching his face. Pulling out of his grasp she hissed, "I thought I was helpin' you before. You know that."

"And did you?" Simon's hurt was quickly morphing into anger. He watched as Kaylee dropped the bag at her feet, crossing her arms resolutely over her chest. He had tried, really he had, to keep his anger at bay as the situation quickly spiraled out of control, but he would not allow Kaylee to unilaterally decide that their life together was over. He would not allow her to walk out on him again – not unless she was really doing it for good. "_Did_ you help me, Kaylee?" Simon demanded, stepping forward and meeting her hard gaze with one of his own. "You almost got killed!"

"I know!" She screamed the words, hot tears pooling at the corners of her eyes. "You don't think I know how stupid it was?"

"Then why are you doing it again?" So help him, he wanted answers. If Kaylee was really going to walk out that door and break his heart, he wanted to know why.

"Because!" Her voice had risen in volume, the tears she'd been fighting falling in steady streams down her blotchy cheeks. Taking another breath, she screwed up her face to force out an explanation and only managed to again yell, "Because …"

Simon watched her struggle, fighting every muscle in his body that screamed at him to go to her. She was trembling again, and had wrapped her arms around her waist. Dropping her head, he watched as she took a few long, deep breaths and when she again raised her eyes to his face, the anger he'd seen had been replaced with despair. "Because I'm scared," she finally choked out. Taking another shaky breath, she continued. "I'm scared that if I lose 'em, I'll lose whatever's left o' me. An' you won't …" Shuddering, she backed up to sit on the bed, her eyes glued to her feet. "An' that you won't like that girl, let alone love her or wanna marry her."

Sighing heavily, Simon stared at her for a few more moments, doing his best to collect his thoughts. After a long silence that he knew had to be setting Kaylee on edge, he moved towards her, kneeling before her, his hands resting gently on her knees. "Kaylee," he said softly, the anger and frustration he'd felt receding into concern and love. "You have to know that's not true. It's not possible – I could never not love you."

"I know that," Kaylee sighed and finally looked to him. Resting a light hand to his cheek, she added, "I love you so much, I just can't stand the thought of hurtin' you."

Pulling her into his arms, Simon hugged her tightly, more than relieved when Kaylee held him back just as fiercely. "Kaylee, the only way that could happen is if you left me." Pressing a kiss to her temple, he leaned back and met her watery gaze. "I love you and I will love you for the rest of my life. Tell me you know that?"

Swallowing thickly, Kaylee kissed him lightly and murmured, "I do. I swear, Simon, all o' this, it ain't about you or anythin' you've done wrong. It's me." Dropping her arms to her lap, she told him, "I jus' … I can't shake this feeling that I'm losin' myself an' I don't know what to do."

Realizing that whatever Kaylee was struggling with went deeper than her missing family, Simon shifted to sit beside her and asked gently, "Losing yourself how?"

Shrugging slightly, Kaylee sighed once again, leaning into Simon's side, her head on his shoulder. Wrapping an arm around her, he waited patiently, until she finally said, "Like I'm not Kaylee anymore. Like I'm somebody different who's crazy over not bein' pregnant an' worries 'bout things like table settings an' china. Like –"

"Like a wife," Simon whispered into her hair, closing his eyes and fighting the apprehension he felt. Pulling away to give her a sidelong glance, he murmured, "Now who's got cold feet?"

Pulling back and meeting his gaze with a surprised one of her own, Kaylee told him indignantly, "I do not." As Simon cocked an eyebrow at her, and regarded her for a moment more, she finally admitted, "'Kay, maybe a little."

His lips quirking into a small grin, Simon tucked a wayward strand of hair behind her ear and asked, "Why didn't you tell me?"

Shrugging, Kaylee averted her eyes, this time out of embarrassment, not pain. "I wasn't so sure what was wrong." Pausing, she licked her lips and forced herself to continue. "I've been wantin' to be your wife for so long, I figured it'd just pass. But then when we found out about my family an' I still weren't pregnant …" She didn't finish the statement and she didn't need to. Simon, his arm still about her shoulders, tugged her back to his side, dropping a kiss to the top of her head.

Kaylee sighed contentedly, feeling lighter for the first time since they'd heard the terrible news and curled into his side, an arm around his waist. She thought of her foolishness, her eyes alighting to the suitcase she had mistakenly packed and she rolled her face into his shoulder, trying to forget the last thirty minutes. Why she kept thinking that running away was the answer, she had no idea. She was simply glad that Simon had refused to let her go.

Simon's eyes were also focused on the bag, haphazardly dropped in the middle of the room. It did anger him that Kaylee had seemed so ready to abandon their life, but he also knew how frightened she was, and Simon would have been lying if he said that during River's really bad times, he hadn't thought of leaving her behind on Serenity and disappearing. But of course, he couldn't and he hadn't. She was his mei mei, just as Kaylee was his bao bei and he would die to keep them both in his life.

His hand running gently down her back, he asked quietly, "Kaylee, do you still want to get married?"

Inhaling a sharp breath, Kaylee bit her lip, and closed her eyes, offering a silent prayer to Buddha and the Shepherd that she had not ruined her chance to be Simon's wife. Pulling away from him, she met his blue-eyed gaze, smiling softly as she recognized the tension lining his eyes. Placing one hand on each of his cheeks, Kaylee kept her gaze focused on his and told him firmly, "Simon Tam, I would marry you a hundred times in the middle of a desert, just so long as I get to be your wife."

Smiling softly, Simon placed his hands over hers, bringing them both to his mouth and kissing them. Kaylee returned his smile at the sweet gesture, the grin actually reaching her eyes. Keeping a hold of her hands, Simon tugged her gently to him and pressed their lips together. It was a light kiss at first, nothing particularly passionate about it, simply a comfort, a sign of affection. But as they parted, their noses and mouths merely inches from each other, Kaylee inhaled deeply and smelled the familiar, clean Simon scent she so adored and leaned in again.

As her lips again met his, Kaylee's eyes fluttered closed, her long, tear-stained lashes falling to her cheeks as she lost herself in his touch. Simon returned her affections, his hands dropping hers into his lap, so he could wrap strong arms around her back and pull her tight to him. Their mouths parted almost simultaneously, warm breaths mingling as their tongues met, caressing and teasing each other. Passion igniting deep in her belly and radiating down each limb, Kaylee wrapped her arms around Simon's neck, pulling herself into his lap, as each of them refused to let go. One of Simon's strong, smooth hands slid down her back, to her bottom, cupping one of the firm cheeks and squeezing lightly, while the other hand ran up into her hair, cradling the back of her head.

They finally broke apart, panting and flushed, their foreheads resting together as they fought to catch their breaths. Moving both of his hands to the small of her back, Simon kneaded the flesh there, feeling the tenseness in her muscles and hoping he could simply massage it away.

As Kaylee moaned softly at the exquisite feel of his fingers working against her flesh, she finally found the courage to speak. "Simon?" she murmured, her fingers still playing with the strands of hair at the base of his neck.

"Yes, Kaylee?" he asked softly, brushing a quick kiss to the tip of her nose as his hands moved higher up her back, massaging all the way.

Swallowing hard, she tilted away from him, looking into his eyes. "Do _you_ still want to marry _me_?"

Pausing, Simon held her gaze, noticing the small flash of fear that glinted in her green eyes. "Absolutely," he answered firmly before kissing her again.

Once again breathless by the time they parted, Kaylee closed her eyes as she rested her forehead to Simon's and murmured, "Then let's do it."

Puzzled, he pulled back and met her gaze as she blinked those green eyes at him. "Shen me?"

"Let's get married," she told him, a familiar light back in her eyes.

"We will, bao bei," Simon reassured, cradling her face in his hands. "As soon as Mal and the others find your family and bring them here, we'll reschedule everything."

Shaking her head once, Kaylee's face fell just a bit and Simon's heart fell with it. "They may not find 'em, Simon."

"Kaylee-"

"You know it's true," she interrupted firmly. As he acquiesced with a slight nod, she continued, her voice even. "There is a chance they ain't gonna find 'em, no matter how hard they look. An' we can't …" Feeling a small catch in her throat, Kaylee swallowed hard and willed herself to continue. "We can't keep puttin' our lives on hold. We done that far too much as it is, both o' us," she added, her gaze just a tad challenging.

Sighing, Simon dropped his eyes to his lap and admitted, "River."

Nodding once, Kaylee added, "An' the miscarriage." As she met his concerned gaze, she smiled softly and said, "But we can't let them things stand in our way. Not no more."

Smiling to her, Simon leaned forward and brushed a kiss to her mouth. "You don't have to do this to prove a point, Kaylee," he told her softly, his fingers running down her cheek lightly.

Shaking her head once, Kaylee assured, "I ain't. I jus' wanna be your wife." 

"Even without our family and friends there?" he asked, brushing her hair off her neck and resting his hand against her shoulder. "Even without the big party and the dress?"

Swatting playfully at his arm, Kaylee reminded him, "You tol' me yourself the weddin' should be 'bout two people, you an' me. An' you was right."

Eyeing her in silence for a moment more, Simon kissed her again. "You're sure? Without Inara or Mal or your family?"

Nodding once, Kaylee replied, "Without River?"

Nodding, Simon smiled, "She'll forgive me." Realizing the kind of pain she could inflict on him if he was wrong, Simon grimaced. "I hope." As Kaylee giggled, one of the best sounds Simon could ever remember hearing, he asked, "What are we going to wear? And where are we going to go?"

Rising, Kaylee tugged on his hand, pulling him towards their large walk-in closet. "Well, you got your suit, right?" As he nodded, she entered the large space, and reached for an opaque garment bag he had seen her bring home a few weeks ago. "An' I got the honeymoon outfit." As his eyebrows quirked, Kaylee again laughed and corrected him. "Not _that_ outfit, the one for when we'd be leavin' the reception."

As Kaylee moved to step around him and claim the bathroom first, Simon gently held her elbow. Meeting her eyes, he asked softly, "Are you sure about this?"

Nodding once, Kaylee stood on her tiptoes and kissed him. "I am, as long as you are."

Smiling that ridiculously swai grin she adored, Simon nodded, heading for the closet as Kaylee turned for the bathroom. Poking his head around the corner, he told her, "We're going to need witnesses, you know?"

Stopping in mid-stride, Kaylee frowned slightly and then thought of something absolutely perfect. Turning back to him, she smiled wide and asked, "Are Eli an' Evelyn still here?"

xoxoxoxoxo

Mal felt the ship shudder beneath his feet. Grimacing, he rechecked the ammo in his gun while clicking on the comm at his belt. "Zo?"

"They've locked on, sir." Her controlled, clipped tone was as soothing to Mal's nerves as any balm. Knowing he could always count on her had been a constant in his life for over a decade.

"Stay sharp an' stay alive," he ordered her firmly before shutting down the comm. Muttering a silent prayer to the Shepherd, just for the heck of it, Mal wedged his body into a tight spot and waited.

xoxoxoxoxo


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

xoxoxoxoxo

"Kaylee?" Dasya greeted her warmly with a hug and the friendly smile she remembered.

Stepping away from him and reaching for Simon's hand, she told the monk, "It's real good to see you." Glancing to her fiancé, she added, "This is Simon."

Extending a hand, which Dasya shook firmly, Simon watched the other man's eyes light with recognition. "Ah yes, your beloved," he commented, his gaze flickering to Kaylee and giving her an indulgent smile which she returned. "I was hoping we would meet one day."

"It's a pleasure," Simon told him, still slightly confused as to why out of all of the Buddhist temples in the city, Kaylee had demanded they go to this one – and how exactly she knew this monk so intimately.

"You look radiant," the older man told her, again focusing his eyes on Kaylee and her beautifully sheathed form. Simon could agree with the man there. She and Inara had picked out an absolutely gorgeous dress of red silk. With a high mandarin collar, it fell in a straight line down to the tops of Kaylee's feet, glancing over every curve she owned. Her arms were bare, but the slight warmth of the day assured she would not be cold.

"Yes, she does," Simon murmured, almost absentmindedly, before pulling Kaylee to his side and pressing a kiss to her cheek.

Smiling to him, Kaylee kissed him back and then said, "Actually, we came to ask ya for a favor." She explained, a bit hastily, the true intent behind their visit and why they were so dressed up for the middle of the day. Dasya listened closely, greeting Eli and Evelyn as they arrived a few minutes later, a bag of necessities tucked under Evelyn's arm.

"And you're sure about this?" the monk asked, his gaze shifting from Kaylee to Simon and back again. "Despite the current situation with your family, you want to be bound in marriage?"

Nodding once, Kaylee stepped forward and took both of his hands in hers. "You told me once that I had to stop letting the weaker voice of my head dominate the strong feelin's in my heart." As the man smiled at the memory, she added, "That's what I'm doin'."

With this statement, Dasya agreed. Taking Evelyn and Eli aside to be sure they understood their role in the ceremony, Kaylee took the few moments of quiet to draw Simon outside and into the garden she had spent most of her time in when she'd been a resident of the temple.

Gazing at the beautiful surroundings, Simon finally asked, "Kaylee? How do you know him?"

Her fingers trailing over the petals of an exotic flower she could never hope to name, Kaylee sighed softly. "When I was gone, before the accident, I came here." Gazing about the space and finally lifting her face to the sky, she closed her eyes and murmured, "I hid here."

Moving to her side, Simon wrapped his arms about her waist, feeling a deep need to hold her. Kaylee sighed in his embrace, her head against his shoulder, as she smoothed her hands over his where they rested against her. "Dasya, he helped me. Gave me advice. Kinda like the Shepherd," she added softly, a wistfulness to her tone that Simon registered as sadness mixed with gratitude.

"To listen to your heart?" he questioned, his lips murmuring against her cheek as he pressed a kiss there.

Nodding, Kaylee allowed the moment of peace to wash over her. Turning in his arms, she met Simon's blue-eyed gaze and smiled faintly. "I had to figure it out on my own, Simon," she told him quietly, her fingertips faintly tracing his jaw line. "I had to remember on my own how much you loved me an' how you showed me an' told me how much you cared. I needed to figure out that I was enough for you an' you were enough for me." Pausing, she swallowed hard and then forced her eyes to his face. "That's why I ran all them months ago. I wasn't tryin' to punish you or make you feel guilty, I just …" With a sigh, she rested her forehead to the top of his chest, her arms encircling him in a tight embrace. "I had to realize on my own that I was good enough."

Simon traced his finger below her chin, lifting her face back up so he could look deeply and intently into those large green eyes. "Kaylee, you are more than good enough. You are an angel, my angel. And I love you, with everything I have." Leaning forward, he brought their lips within inches and added, "And I will love you for the rest of my life."

Kissing her, they were interrupted by the sound of Eli's teasing voice. "Save some of that for the vows, son."

Breaking apart quickly, both Kaylee and Simon turned to regard their friends as they stepped into the courtyard. "Dasya is just going to gather some supplies and a few of his brothers. He said to wait here," Evelyn explained. Placing down the bag she held, she pulled out a spool of white ribbon, her eyes lighting with happiness. "And I get the lovely task of tying you two up."

Chuckling softly, Simon and Kaylee stood facing one another, hands clasped as Evelyn circled their heads again and again with the ribbon. They had opted for a more traditional Buddhist ceremony, both of them feeling that the peace and understatement of the ritual was much more fitting for them both. Had they been holding the entire service, there would have been bracelets of string and other tradition, but as it was, the simplicity of it was just as intimate.

As Evelyn finished, stepping back to admire her work, Dasya entered the courtyard, followed by eight of his brethren. "We'll be able to begin in just a moment." Glancing to one of the other men, the monk stepped forward, adorning Kaylee and Simon both with a beautiful garland of flowers. The others encircled the couple and the Butlers, taking seats around them and beginning to chant.

Kaylee and Simon, immersed in one another, barely noticed.

xoxoxoxoxo

By the time Mal stepped onto the slaver ship, he was nursing a huge gash running along his forearm and a bullet wound just above his left knee. But he was still standing and that was a kindness. Keeping his weapon at the ready, Mal stealthily crept down the corridor, well as stealthily as he could with a gunshot wound, pausing before corners and doing his best to stay alert to any imminent threat. Zoe and Jayne had radioed a few minutes before that they were aboard and now Mal was doing his best to find them.

Pausing at the end of a long corridor, Mal viewed his options, right or left. Frowning, he had decided to play a quick game of eeny-meeny-miney-mo, when he heard a scuffle of boots and the click of gun. Cementing himself to the wall at his back, he raised his own pistol, concentrating hard on identifying the threat. Muttering a quick prayer that he'd live to tell the tale, he whirled away, his gun swinging to point at his attacker and coming face-to-face with Zoe.

"Sir." She dropped her firearm back to her side casually, as if she hadn't just been a hairs-breath from riddling her best friend with a few holes. As Mal also let his arm fall lax, she said, "Jayne should be here in a minute."

"Anything?" Mal questioned, taking the moment's rest to wipe a heavy line of sweat from his brow.

Shaking her head once, Zoe's pursed lips and empty eyes conveyed more to Mal than words. "Nope."

"Mal! Zoe!" Both of them started a bit as Jayne's gruff voice sounded over their comms. Flipping his on first, Mal questioned, "What is it, Jayne?"

"Not good," the merc answered, his voice tight with either fear or rage. "You better get down here."

Throwing Zoe a grimace, Mal turned to head in the opposite direction, following his friend's lead. "Where are you?"

xoxoxoxoxo

Inara had just finished reading a story to a group of five-year-olds, each of them full of a wide-eyed innocence that nearly broke her heart. She had not had a lot of cause to be surrounded by children, but Inara found that the more she volunteered in the orphanage, the more her heart ached to know the unconditional love of a child, to hold a small life in her arms and know that she could care for and protect it.

And, of course, these realizations only made the sting of her previous loss all the more painful. Watching as the children filed out of the room, she had to wonder how Kaylee had managed to survive volunteering here, when she knew how devastated the younger woman had been at the knowledge of her miscarriage.

Shaking the thought away, Inara rose, placing the book back on the shelf and moving about the small library to pick up. Turning with an armful of mats, she stopped abruptly as she was confronted with a small boy, his dark hair and blue eyes regarding her with a look of pure curiosity.

"Hello there," Inara greeted him warmly, smiling to him before continuing to clean up. "How are you?"

"M'okay," he answered, still standing in the door, studying her as she moved about.

Inara smiled softly at his intensity. She had seen him in passing a handful of times, but had never really had cause to speak with him.

"Do you know Miss Kaylee?"

Pausing, Inara turned to him, seeing for the first time just the slightest hint of concern on his face. Sitting down in a nearby chair, she beckoned him forward and he came, taking her hand as she reached out to him. Looking into his sad eyes, she asked, "What's your name?"

"Asher," he said, smiling sheepishly and dropping his gaze to his feet.

"Well, Asher, I'm Inara and yes, I do know Miss Kaylee. She's a very good friend of mine."

Barely contained hope lighting his face, Asher's eyes snapped up to regard her as he asked breathlessly, "Where is she? I ain't seen her in days."

Smiling to him softly, Inara rested a hand to his cheek. "I know, sweetheart, but Miss Kaylee, well …" She didn't want to scare the boy, but she knew she'd have to give him some explanation. "Miss Kaylee hasn't been feeling very well. She's needed to rest."

"Is she coming back?" he asked, his voice teetering on the edge of a whine.

Nodding, Inara told him, "I think she will. She's just going to need some time."

Releasing a heavy sigh, Asher offered her a big grin that brought a small chuckle to Inara's lips. "Oh, okay, good. 'Cause I like her. I like her an' Doctor Simon."

Hugging him quickly, Inara ruffled his hair and told him, "I like them, too. Now, why don't you head to the kitchen? I think it's time for a snack."

"Okay," he said brightly, any previous hint at his melancholy gone. "See ya, Miss Inara."

Smiling long after he'd left the room, Inara had never felt more happiness and sadness in one single moment than she did now. Making a decision, she rose, smoothing her dress and heading from the room. She was here to get answers and so, she would.

xoxoxoxoxo

Simon and Kaylee were nestled into the opposite bench of the hovercar as it whisked the newlyweds and the Butlers back towards the Butlers' estate. Hands and arms wrapped together, it was almost impossible to tell where one of them ended and the other began and Eli and Evelyn could only smile at them knowingly as they cuddled and whispered, seemingly oblivious to the other passengers.

Stealing kisses whenever they could, Simon and Kaylee had never been happier. Despite all that was happening, they were now officially married, matching rings on their fingers and peace in their hearts. Simon wondered, not for the first time that day, how he'd ever gotten so lucky.

Reluctantly pulling his gaze away from Kaylee's shining eyes, he looked to their hosts and said, "Thank you, really. We can never repay you for-"

Holding up his hand to stop Simon from another round of "thank you"s, Eli told him, "We've already told you, Simon, it was our pleasure." His eyes darting to Kaylee as she kept her gaze firmly locked on Simon's face, he added, "Besides, we're just delighted we could share in your day. It does both of us good to see you so happy."

Blushing slightly as Kaylee brushed her lips to his cheek, Simon tightened his hold around her shoulders and told them, "It does us good as well, trust me."

As the car slowed, reaching the Butlers' front door, Eli and Evelyn shared another look, completely lost on the young couple across from them. Smiling to his wife, Eli squeezed her hand, reaching for the door handle. "Well, I suppose we're here."

"Are you sure you don't mind us taking the car back to the apartment?" Simon asked, using every shred of self-control to focus his attention on something other than Kaylee.

"We don't mind at all, dear," Evie told him, taking her husband's hand as he helped her from the car. "But, won't you come in for a drink first?"

As Simon and Kaylee shared a look of thinly veiled disappointment, both Eli and Evelyn stifled a laugh. It was no secret to either of the older people that the younger couple was very amorous, especially in a physical nature. Eli could only assume that a toast was the last thing on their minds at the moment. Of course, he also knew that Simon's sense of propriety and Kaylee's desire to please them would win out.

And he was right. "Of course," Simon answered, shifting to exit the car and help Kaylee. She took his hand eagerly, using the contact as an excuse to fall against him and kiss him breathless. The Butlers simply moved into the house ahead of them, glad for the extra moments to make sure their hastily prepared celebration was ready.

Standing in the driveway, Simon returned Kaylee's fervent kiss, his arms wrapped around her tightly, their bodies pressed together. Pulling apart and gasping for breath, Simon murmured, "Mrs. Tam, I do believe you are insatiable."

Squealing softly, Kaylee kissed along his jaw line and begged, "Say it again."

Quirking his eyebrows, Simon teased her as he nipped at her lower lip. "Insatiable?"

Rolling her eyes, Kaylee intoned, "Simon-"

Silencing the rest of the statement with another heart-stopping kiss, once they had again parted, Simon whispered against her cheek, "Mrs. Tam."

Blinking back a few tears of complete happiness, Kaylee murmured, "I can't believe I'm your wife." Pressing her lips to his once again, she added, "I love you."

Reluctant to pull away, Simon finally tore his mouth from hers, while gently tugging on her hand. "I love you." Heading towards the house, he told her, "Come on, the sooner we toast, the sooner we can go home."

"I like the way you think, husband," she added coyly, taking a moment to pinch his backside before they entered the foyer.

xoxoxoxoxo

Rafe cautiously approached the bridge, stopping at the base of the stairs as he took in River's tense form in the pilot's seat. They had barely spoken since her declaration in the galley and his subsequent discussion with the captain the night before. And it was killing him.

He was not a deep man, nor particularly bright, but like Serenity's former mechanic, Rafe understood machines in a way not many could. His mind worked and operated like a diagnostic tool, examining situations for faults, weaknesses and then determining the best way to resolve those issues. As a child, this ability to problem-solve had kept him out of quite a few scrapes. As an adult, and a man in love, it seemed a hindrance to all he wanted.

River didn't need to be fixed. Whatever Rafe thought or even knew about her past, it was not his place, nor really anyone else's to try and repair her. She was now, currently, the sum of those experiences, horrendous or otherwise. Without them, she would be someone completely different from who she was right now, and that person, sitting so elegantly in the pilot's seat, was the woman he was in love with.

Of course, none of this made his desire to protect her or care for her any less. It did not stymie the need he felt to wreak havoc on the hun dans who had so carelessly taken her mind apart and hastily slapped it back together again. But in a way, Rafe also owed them a small debt of gratitude; if River had never gone to that Academy, never been subjected to such torture, Simon would never have rescued her and smuggled her onto Serenity. And therefore, Rafe would never have met her.

Taking a deep breath and steeling himself for whatever her reaction might be, he mounted the stairs slowly, gingerly sitting in the co-pilot's seat. Swiveling to regard her, he studied her profile carefully. She was tense, he could tell by the paleness of her features and the tightness of her jaw. Staring straight ahead he suspected she was concentrating on their crewmates, doing her best to stay alert to any unforeseen danger. Realizing a bit after the fact that this wasn't the best time to speak with her, he rose to leave as she said, "Thank you."

Pausing mid-stride, Rafe turned back to study her, still only able to see the back of her head. "What for?"

"For believing I am no longer broken." Pausing, she waited an extra second, and then added, "No matter how untrue it may be." Taking a deep breath, River finally turned to face him and he saw the tears in her eyes.

Resisting the urge to gather her in his arms, Rafe shook his head once and told her, "I don't believe that. There ain't nothin' wrong with you."

Knowing they both needed to concentrate on the mission at hand, River did not bother to contradict his statement. "This isn't the time," she murmured, dropping her eyes to her lap.

"We'll talk about it after, all right?" he asked, reaching out a hand and more than relieved when she clasped it tightly.

Nodding silently, she maintained the hold with him for an extra second – a second that turned out to be too long. "'Allo, luv."

Whirling, Rafe quickly stepped in front of River, his hands flying up as he registered the very formidable gun wrapped in their ex-prisoner's hands. Badger's black, beady eyes regarded him casually. "Well, you're new." Giving a smirk to his accomplice behind him, Badger turned back to Rafe, and cocked his head to the side, catching River's impassive gaze. "You aren't cheatin' on me, are you luv?"

Refusing to be baited, River rose slowly, unfolding her long legs from beneath her. Resting a reassuring and steadying hand to Rafe's shoulder, she addressed Badger. "You sprung a nice trap."

More than satisfied with himself, Badger nodded, a wide, feral grin on his face. "Why thank you, darlin'. Do admit, I am quite impressed me ownself. Thought for sure you might figure it out."

"Too many lies," River murmured, the explanation a surprise to Rafe. He had thought her infallible. "Too many layers of dirt and muck to sift through. Got fooled."

"Oh, now darlin', that kind o' flattery ain't gonna get ya no wheres." Badger feigned humility as he waved the large gun in their direction, intimidating them to step further onto the bridge. As he moved out of the doorway, his accomplice, a large, burly man with a large gun of his own, stepped forward to tie up first Rafe and then River. "Well, it might get ya somewhere," Badger amended, watching with a sick hunger as River's arms were pulled tightly behind her back, her chest thrusting forward. "Like my bed."

Lunging for the man, Rafe's eyes flashed with anger at his crassness, his better judgment clouded as he felt a deep urge to defend River's honor. With a cry and a sickening crack, the butt of the other's man assault rifle hit the back of Rafe's skull and he sank to the floor in a heap. River dropped to her knees beside him, wrenching her almost bound hands away from her captor.

Shooting daggers at Badger, she cradled Rafe's head in her lap and spit out, "He wasn't a threat. Just a mechanic."

"I don't trust anybody on this boat, mechanic or not," Badger retorted. As his goon again grabbed for River's hands, she whirled quickly, jamming the base of her palm up his nose and breaking the bone. As he fell back, momentarily blinded and paralyzed, River spun to take down Badger, freezing as she noticed that his gun was pointed squarely at Rafe's temple.

"I wouldn't, luv," Badger warned, cocking the gun and watching with satisfaction as River seethed. "I really wouldn't."

Sinking back down to her knees, River held Badger's gaze evenly. Taking Rafe's head back into her lap, River pressed kisses to his temple as she stroked his hair. "You'll be okay," she whispered, wishing she really believed it.

Badger, his gun still trained on them both, waited for his now-injured guard to rise before moving towards the controls. As the guard fumbled to tie River's hands, Badger input some commands on the console, before peering at its underbelly and finding a few wires he had long ago identified as important. Ripping them apart, he eased his way back to the door, his guard behind him.

"An' don't try nothin', luv, 'cause if you do …" Smirking, he motioned to the bank of controls behind her and said, "Boom."

Scowling, River held his gaze steadily as they shut the door to the bridge. She heard the heavy clang of the override mechanism falling into place and she knew they were effectively trapped.

xoxoxoxoxo

"Zoe?"

"Sir?"

Through clenched teeth, Mal shifted his weight just slightly, trying to relieve the pressure on his injured leg. Glancing out of the corner of his eye to his trussed up first mate, he told her, "I ever tell you I wanna do business with Badger again, shoot me."

"Gladly sir," Zoe answered in a monotone, her eyes never wavering from one of their captors. She had been staring the man down since he had tied her up, using the proximity to her backside to cop a feel. Zoe was greatly looking forward to having her hands free again; she'd break his wrists.

"An' if she don't, I will," Jayne grunted, squinting as another bloody drop of sweat fell into his eyes. The cut on his forehead from his tussle with the three men in the room was bleeding profusely and he was already starting to see just a bit of black at the edges of his vision.

"I didn't ask you, Jayne," Mal reminded the man, his voice a bit strained as another shot of pain ripped through his thigh.

"Besides, I'm the only one allowed to shoot him," Zoe added, her voice still infuriatingly steady. "Been with him longest, my prerogative."

As Mal opened his mouth to protest, Jayne agreed with the Amazon woman. "Gotta point."

"Hey!"

A low, throaty clucking could be heard and the three captives turned their attention to the opposite doorway as Badger sauntered through, a guard at his back who was doing his best to stifle the flow of blood from his nostrils. Smirking as Mal assumed River had had a hand in that, Mal stated, "Badger, nice to see you out an' about."

"No, it ain't," the little man retorted, eyeing each of them appraisingly before focusing back on Mal. His gaze lingering over the blood-stained pant leg, Badger commented, "That's a bit of an injury you got there."

Shrugging, Mal forced his tone to stay even. "This? Nah, not more than a mosquito bite."

In silence, Badger moved forward, kneeling before Mal. As the two men held the stare, Zoe and Jayne tensed wondering if he was going to call on them in the next moment to launch an escape. But Mal was not an idiot – despite the tactical failings of many of his plans – and so he stayed still, content to glare at his captor.

"It occurs to me, I've been waitin' a long time to get the better of you," Badger stated tauntingly. "Who knew I jus' needed ta tip ya off to some slavers for it be so gorram easy."

"Where are those people, Badger?" Mal demanded, ignoring the man's attempt to egg Mal into a fight. Despite their very dire situation at the moment, Mal was just a bit more concerned about what Kaylee would do should he return to her empty-handed.

"Well, that's the beauty, see?" Badger smiled and it was not beautiful at all. "I've already shipped 'em off to their final destination. They're gone, Reynolds. Sold to the highest bidder, no doubt slavin' 'way in some mine or some such." Straightening again, Badger tweaked his ratty lapels, puffing out his chest like a deformed penguin. "An' me, I'm filthy rich."

"Ya got filthy, right," Jayne muttered receiving a sharp blow to his already bleeding head for his trouble. Biting back a curse, he chose instead to glower at his guard, already formulating the different ways he would mutilate the man once he was free.

Nodding in the general direction of the other ship, Mal commented, "So, I'm guessin' the Amistad, that was you're doin' as well?"

Smiling toothily, Badger preened. "Yup, gotta admit, thought that feng le girl was gonna mess up my plans, but 'parently, my mind's too complex, even for her."

Muttering a curse, Mal shot back, "Complex ain't the word I would use."

With anger burning in his gaze, Badger stepped forward, slamming his foot on top of Mal's already bloody knee. Hearing something pop, Mal screamed as the swift motion caused mind-numbing pain to shoot through his body. Panting as Badger moved back, smiling vindictively at the now writhing captain, he turned to his men and said, "Let's go."

"Try not to miss me," Badger mocked over his shoulder as his men preceded him out the door. Flashing Mal a grin and a salute, the blast doors clanged shut, leaving the three crewmen locked in the belly of the ship.

As Zoe looked to him quizzically, obviously trying to assess just how bad his injury was, Mal decided to ignore her concern. Instead, he again shifted positions, muttering, "I really hate that guy."

xoxoxoxoxo


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

xoxoxoxo

Kaylee's eyes were wide and pooling with happy tears. Staring from the sugary confection before them, adorned fittingly with a statue of a bride and groom and back to Evelyn, she finally breathed, "I don't believe it."

Smiling widely to the young woman, Evelyn pulled her into a quick embrace, placing a peck to her cheek. "Well, believe it, dear. I already knew the baker you were planning to use and he was able to send this over this afternoon." Leaning towards her, she confided, "And it's strawberry and vanilla, just like you wanted."

Squealing, Kaylee clapped her hands together happily, before whirling on Simon, her arms encircling his neck. "Ain't it shiny, sweetie? We get a cake an' everythin'."

Cradling her face in his hands, Simon could only return her shining grin, unable to be upset in the face of Kaylee's overwhelming happiness. "It's amazing, bao bei," he whispered, placing a peck to her lips.

Hugging him tightly, Kaylee sighed and Simon recognized it for the contented sound it was.

"All right, who wants some champagne?" Eli returned to the room, followed by their butler, a tray of four champagne glasses in his hand. As the man passed them around, Eli raised his glass and addressed the young couple, who were again glued to one another.

"Evelyn and I have never met two people more in love or more deserving of happiness than the two of you," Eli began, his voice growing heavy with sincerity. "Simon, I had no idea when I offered you a job that you would turn out to be such a ruttin' good surgeon-" A ripple of laughter circled the group and Simon glanced to his feet, a blush creeping up his neck at the compliment as Kaylee beamed brightly. "But I also had no idea of how important or special you would become to me and Evelyn."

Raising his blue eyes back to the man, Simon saw love in his expression, and found an unexpected lump in his throat. It was a look Simon had wanted to see from his own father for years and one he had never experienced. Swallowing thickly, he continued to listen, even as Kaylee, noting the slight change in his demeanor, simply rested her head to his shoulder.

"I've told you before, but I think it bears repeating – you're like a son to us, Simon. As dear to us as Jenna and Rachel and we want you to know that if you need anything, whether it be an impromptu wedding or a kidney, Evie and I, we'll be here for you."

Another light chuckle and then Evelyn picked up where her husband had left off. "Kaylee, I remember very vividly the night Eli came home from the hospital and told me your story. Your story and Simon's story and I will never forget how my heart broke for you both." Kaylee blinked back a tear, using her free hand to wipe away another and Simon turned towards her, pressing a kiss to her cheek as Evelyn continued.

"And I will also never forget the first night I met you." A smile lit Evie's face even as a small chuckle escaped her lips. "I could barely believe that someone so good, so kind, so loving could exist, especially after all you've been through. But as I've come to know you, as a woman and as a surrogate daughter, I have come to realize that the depth of your kindness, your love, your strength, is astounding. Kaylee, please know, that just as we care for Simon, we love you as well."

"So, we would like to toast you," Eli interjected, lifting his glass and clearing his throat as Evelyn wiped at a tear and Kaylee did the same. "To Simon and Kaylee – or should I say, to Doctor and Mrs. Tam? May the best day of your past be the worst day of your future together and may your life be paved with happiness, joy and unexpected surprises that not only bring you closer, but help you grow."

The clink of glasses was heard and the four adults sipped the champagne, Eli pressing a kiss into Evelyn's hair as Simon and Kaylee murmured more "I love you"s and shared a few more kisses. Finally, deciding to break up the two, Eli stepped forward and asked, "Is anybody going to eat this cake?"

More laughter, more fun, more joy filled the room and Simon and Kaylee just said a little prayer for this perfect moment.

xoxoxoxo

Rafe was really sorry he'd regained consciousness. At least, when he was dead to the world, his head didn't feel as if there were Reavers trapped inside his skull, trying to drill their way out. Groaning softly as he tried to move his head and relieve the tension in his neck, he was greeted by first a sharp stab of pain and then the unexpected feel of cool, light fingers massaging his aching muscles.

"River?"

"Shh," she soothed, bending down to drop a kiss in his hair, before laying her head gently against his cheek, her fingers working continuously. "You have a concussion. Now that you're awake, you need to stay awake, okay?"

Moaning again, Rafe told her petulantly, "I don't wanna. I wanna sleep."

"No, you can't," River told him forcefully, shifting, so she could face him. Placing her hands on his cheeks, River ordered, "Look at me, Rafe. I mean it!"

"All right," he told her, resisting the urge to vomit as he forced his eyes back open. Taking in her concerned face, brown eyes wide with fear, her long hair falling against his cheeks, he murmured, "You're beautiful."

Blushing, River ducked her head for a moment, soft hair tickling his cheeks again, before she lifted her gaze back to his face. "Flattery later," she intoned softly, stroking a gentle hand along his cheek. "Help now," she added, pointing to the mess of wires under her consoles.

Shifting, Rafe was surprised he could move, his hands no longer bound. Glancing to River as well, he noticed for the first time her hands were free. "How did you manage this?" he asked, panting lightly as the additional movement brought a wave of nausea pounding up his throat.

Aiding him into a sitting position with strong hands on his shoulders, River explained, "Badger has no idea how flexible I am."

Another lump forming in his throat of a completely different variety, Rafe murmured, "Apparently, I don't either."

Ignoring the comment and the extra blush it brought to her cheeks, River pointed again to the tangle of wires and said plaintively, "Help."

Squinting, Rafe gazed at the problem, muttering a few curses. This was not good. "Okay, first I need to know what kinda tools we got up here."

Nodding once, River moved swiftly, rummaging through a locker behind the pilot's seat. Returning to his side, she knelt, opening the kit. "What now?"

Glancing to the full complement of instruments, Rafe asked, "What the heck? I din't put these here."

Shaking her head once, River explained, "No, Kaylee did, long time ago. For emergencies."

"Remind me to thank her," he murmured. Twisting his upper body, he tried to get under the console so he could really work and found that the changed position did actually induce retching. Turning from River swiftly, he vomited along the deck, his head spinning while sweat poured from his skin.

Grabbing a rag from the toolbox, River gently wiped his brow. "Sorry," she murmured, a cool hand under his chin, while he lay on his side, panting. "I couldn't stop them."

"You ain't all-knowing, bao bei," Rafe explained, still trying to catch his breath. Reaching for her hand, he squeezed it firmly in his clammy one and told her, "None o' this is your fault."

Taking another moment to collect himself, Rafe finally released a heavy sigh, and then gently pushed her hand away. "All right, I'm okay. But I'm thinkin' I might have to talk you through this, so I don't gotta look at my food again."

Her face set in a look of fierce determination, River moved away from him after pressing a quick kiss to his flushed cheek. Placing the toolkit within reach, River situated herself on her back, gazing up at the consoles innards and told him, "Okay, I'm ready."

xoxoxoxo

"What're we gonna do with 'em?"

Badger scowled at his second-in-command as the man asked, for the fifth time in twenty minutes about his plans regarding Reynolds and the rest of his merry band. He had wanted to play that last final card close to the vest, not letting anyone in on his plan, but now, as the four other burly men stared him down, he realized he was going to have to tip his hand.

"We're turnin' 'em over to the gorram law," Badger stated smugly. "Them an' that gorram ship."

Sharing concerned looks, the one with the broken nose wheezed, "Won't that be bad for us?"

Smirking, Badger sat cozily in the captain's chair, kicking his feet up on the console, hands laced behind his head. "Trust me, once we show 'em Reynolds an' the rest, we ain't gonna matter."

xoxoxoxo

"Inara? Do you know what time it is?"

Liliana Serra blinked rapidly in the sudden light of the parlor. Wrapping her robe about herself more tightly, she gazed into her daughter's taut face, noting the puffiness around her eyes and the redness woven about her pupils, implying she had been crying.

"Did you know?"

Frowning, Lili drew her daughter to the sofa, realizing as she did so that she was trembling. "Bao bei, what is it? You're shaking."

Inara could barely hear her mother, the pounding of her heart in her ears was so loud. But she couldn't concentrate, she couldn't calm herself – the information was just too overwhelming.

"Did you know about my child?"

Sighing heavily, Lili rubbed her temples as a throbbing started behind her eyes. "Inara, we've been over this, months ago. I know where she is and so do you." Resting a hand over Inara's cold one, she added, "I thought you and Mal had decided to leave it alone."

Eyes flashing with anger, Inara knew her mother was right which made it worse. But now, none of the past really mattered. All that mattered was what Inara had seen no more than a couple of hours ago when she had gone snooping through the orphanage's records, somewhere she did not belong and now regretted ever seeking.

"That child," Inara's voice continued to shake, her eyes focused on a point far away from here and now. "She's not …" Her throat constricted, Inara could barely form words; she could barely think, it couldn't be possible. "She's not mine."

Stunned, Lili sat back, a small gasp escaping her mouth as Inara's words registered. "Inara, what are you saying?"

Rising, Inara paced the length of the room, rubbing open palms along her arms and trying to take the chill away. It was so unbelievable, but the words had been there in black and white, blood types and DNA records confirming for her what she could barely fathom. "My child, my baby … it was a boy."

Lili's eyes filled with tears as she watched her daughter struggle to comprehend. She knew their past was tense and rife with arguments and hurt feelings, but what Inara was suffering now, no woman deserved. "I don't understand."

"He was a boy, mother," Inara bit out, forcing her eyes to remain clear. Whirling to face the woman, she added, "He was born and taken to the orphanage and he died three days later."

A hand flew to her mouth stifling a gasp as Lili watched Inara sink into an easy chair on the far side of the room. Her daughter was not crying, her eyes and face clear, devoid actually of any emotion, which was almost worse than sobbing.

"Died? How?"

"Congenital heart defect. He didn't … he didn't have a chance."

"Oh, Inara," Lili breathed, rising swiftly and kneeling at her daughter's side. Placing her hands on top of Inara's where they rested in her lap, she murmured, "I am so sorry, sweetheart." Glassy-eyed, Inara continued to stare, and so Lili asked softly, "And are you sure? Are you sure the records you found are for your son?"

Eyes again sparking with anger and resentment, Inara bit out, "You don't think I would have checked? I checked everything mother, upside down and inside out." Rising quickly, Inara's voice grew in volume as she shouted, "My child is dead. And you kept it from me!"

"Inara, I did no such thing." Lili defended herself almost desperately. She and Edward both hoped that they might once again have a chance at a relationship with their only child. However, Lili knew if Inara really believed that her parents had been behind this, they would never hear from their daughter again.

Wishing Edward were home and not three planets away on business, Lili took Inara by the shoulders and forced their eyes to meet. "Regardless of what you may think of your father and I or our actions in the past, we did not keep this from you, Inara. We didn't even know."

She had no reason to believe her, no past history that would indicate her mother would tell her the truth. But as Inara met the wide-eyed and slightly frantic gaze staring at her, she knew, intuitively, her years of training again coming into play that her mother was finally, for once, telling her the truth.

"Then who did?" Inara breathed, some of the fight leaving her as she realized she had no one to rail against. "Who would do this?"

At a loss, Lili could only shake her head. Truth be told, who had hidden such a terrible secret from her child was not Lili's first concern; Inara was. She was still trembling slightly, her normally golden skin having paled to a sickly shade of yellow. "Sweetheart, why don't you sit?" Lili tried to guide her to a chair, but Inara shrugged off her hand in annoyance.

"No, I have to go. I need to find out …" The rest of the statement was lost as Inara fled the room. Lili followed her closely, stopping her again as her daughter reached for the door knob.

"At least, let me call Mal, Inara. We can wait until-"

"Mal's off world, looking for Kaylee's family," Inara explained, only vaguely registering that her mother would have no idea of the significance behind the words. "He's not here."

Her heart constricting as she realized her daughter was really all alone, Lili intoned quietly, "Oh, Inara, stay here then, for goodness sake. You shouldn't be alone."

Inara did not dispute the words verbally, choosing instead to fix her mother with such an intense look of sadness that it stole the other woman's breath. Holding the gaze for a second more, Inara stepped out into the night, more confusion, anger and grief raging in her heart.

xoxoxoxo

"Zoe?"

"Yes sir."

"We dead yet?"

Risking a glance to his best friend, Mal allowed a small smirk to flash across his features. It was preferable to the grimace he'd been favoring since his leg had been shot, although given the amount of blood loss he'd sustained and the encroaching numbness of his limbs, Mal wasn't really feeling much of anything at the moment.

Her withering stare was enough to answer Mal's question. Shrugging lightly, he murmured, "'Kay, jus' checkin'."

They were still seated in the large room, their backs to the wall. Jayne was dipping in and out of consciousness as his head continued to bleed. Zoe had first tried to get her hands free and then tried for Mal's, but a bullet wound in her shoulder, one Mal had missed in the excitement of getting captured, made that kind of movement more than painful. After a good fifteen minutes of working with only excruciating pain to show for it, Mal had ordered her to take it easy.

So now they were stuck, waiting, and without a plan.

"So, I take it we're assumin' River's gonna mount a rescue?" Zoe questioned skeptically, shifting her position to try and ease some of the pressure on her lower back. Ever since Mr. Universe's moon sitting like this for extended periods of time was not a good idea.

"That is the plan." Mal sighed. He hated admitting that he was waiting to be saved, but since he could not feel much below his waist right now and his hands were firmly bound behind his back, there wasn't a whole lot he had to work with.

The high-pitched whine of a proximity alarm roused all three of them. With wide eyes, Mal glanced to Zoe, noting the look of pure annoyance on her features. "How much you wanna bet that's not the welcome wagon?" she asked sarcastically.

Muttering a string of curses, Mal told her, "For Badger's sake, it damn well better be."

xoxoxoxo

"Uh, River?"

From below the console, River was working furiously, her small fingers bleeding and raw from the amount of detail work she'd been forced to do. Besides that, they had been unable and unwilling to cut off all power to the bridge, worrying that it may not turn back on once it was tripped. So, she had burns as well and the pads of her fingers were almost gone.

"What?" she bit out, not bothering to try and catch a look at Rafe. As she'd worked, he had managed to crawl to the pilot's seat and hoist himself into it, using the readouts and screens to gather any information he could.

"We got company," he said, his voice trembling slightly.

Freezing in her movements, River asked, "Who?"

"Alliance."

Momentarily grateful he hadn't said Reavers, River redoubled her efforts to undo the damage Badger had wrought. "You've got to get that door open."

Swallowing thickly, Rafe moved as fast as he could to the opposite side of the room, fighting the nausea and dizziness he felt so he could be useful. Blinking a few times to clear his double vision, he set to work, adding a prayer in for good measure.

xoxoxoxo


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

xoxoxoxo

Inara was through waiting. Clenching her hands into fists, she strode up to the attendant guarding her and demanded, "Where is the Priestess? I must see her now."

The young man, easily half Inara's age, stared her down with an air of disdain she had only seen a handful of times before. And it riled her. "The Priestess is detained. She will be here as soon as her schedule permits."

Anger blazing in her brown eyes, Inara ground out, "Tell her that Inara Serra wishes to see her-"

"Even though you can no longer make such demands of this Guild."

Laylin's cool, steady voice cut through Inara's angry statement and she whirled swiftly. Inara knew Linny was right; her expulsion from the Guild and the circumstances surrounding it meant Inara had forfeited any and all claims to her once vaunted Companion status. Under normal circumstances, she would never have dreamed of coming here, making demands and yelling at innocent stewards. But this was anything but normal.

Stalking across the ornate rug to stand before Laylin, Inara dropped her voice to a growl and ordered, "I need to speak with you in private."

Matching her tone, Laylin's normally warm violet eyes bored into Inara. "Mind your manners, Inara. You have no rights here, not anymore."

Swallowing thickly at the admonition, Inara conceded slightly, bowing her head and taking a step back. Laylin stared her down for a moment more before ordering the young man from the room. Once the heavy oak door had closed behind him, she again addressed her old friend. "You'd better have a good reason. You know word is going to spread regarding your presence here and your behavior."

"How much did you know?" Inara did not bother to drape the question in thinly veiled implications or vague hints. She simply wanted answers; answers surrounding her child, the one who had died; the one she had never known.

Pursing her lips into a thin line, Linny passed Inara, heading for the sideboard and pouring herself a glass of water. She did not ask Inara if she wanted a drink, merely sipping on the liquid, taking her time as if she didn't know how agitated Inara was; how desperate she must be to show up here. Draining the glass, Laylin turned to pour another as she said, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Anger radiating out of every pore, Inara felt her hands and legs trembling from the weight of her rage. Oh, Linny had known all right – they all had. There was no one else, no other organization with the power, resources or motive to keep such a deadly secret from her. Inara had managed to figure that out all on her own. And she would not leave this den of lies until she had confirmation.

"How long have you known, Priestess?" she asked bitterly, biting out the title as if it could cut her tongue. "How long have you known that my child was dead?"

Slamming the glass down with force, Laylin whirled on her friend, doing her best to control her own anger at being so blatantly accused. "You are unbelievable," she spat, striding forward to stand before Inara, pulling herself up to her full height so she could loom above her. "After everything this Guild has done for you, after we took you back and forgave your indiscretion – one most other women would have been shunned for – this is your thanks?"

"How can you even think I would be grateful?" Inara had already worked up a full head of steam regarding this and she would not be deterred. "My son is dead! And you and the Guild let me believe that my child was alive and well."

"You know perfectly well that our jobs are based on appearances, Inara. How things look, how we look, that's all most of our clientele and the Guild care about." There was no accusation in Laylin's tone, simply resignation. Inara fought the urge to attack the woman and held her tongue. "How do you think it looked to some of our most distinguished clients when they discovered your dirty, little secret?"

Eyes widening, Inara took an involuntary step back, catching herself before she lost her footing. She had never thought anyone knew of her child or her momentary fall from grace. "It was a secret," she whispered, questioning eyes searching Laylin's face. "No one knew."

"If someone is motivated enough, nothing is sacred, Inara. You know that."

A bit of the tension ebbed from the room as Inara studied Laylin's scowl. Her beautiful features, wide lips, violet eyes, golden hair, were all colored by her anger and annoyance and Inara felt a pang of guilt for causing her old friend's minute wrinkles to deepen. But it was a feeling she quickly pushed aside as the full extent of Laylin's admission sunk in.

"Who?" Inara cleared her throat once, hoping to hide her confusion. "Why? I don't understand."

Sighing, Linny held her gaze for a moment longer and then turned. Bending a bit, she opened a cabinet under the sideboard and pulled out a bottle of some brownish colored liquid. Pouring two glasses, she turned back to Inara and handed her one of the drinks, before admitting, "I'm not sure I do either."

xoxoxoxo

River held up her hand, fist closed and paused. Her senses were so finely attuned to her surroundings that she felt more than heard Rafe come to a stop behind her. They had managed to board the slavers' ship without alerting Badger or his goons, four men who were bragging and boasting on the bridge as they watched the Alliance cruiser draw closer.

Peering around the corner, she glanced first to the right and then to the left. Clutching the butt of her gun more securely in her hand, she again started for the cargo bay where their captured crew was waiting, Rafe on her heels.

Considering his lack of experience with any kind of fighting or subterfuge, he was holding his own, something River had tried not to let distract her as they managed to work their way off the bridge and onto the other ship. The look he'd given her when she'd thrust the pistol in his hand, snapping the safety off and checking the ammunition first with such precision his eyes had bugged out of his head, had brought the smallest smile to her lips. He had seen her prepare for jobs before, but this was different. Rafe had known with certainty that there would be shooting, probably even killing this time out and he was more than aware of the kind of destruction River could cause if provoked.

But then, he'd done something completely unexpected – he'd leaned forward and kissed her. Not a small peck on the cheek or a light brush of the lips, but a deep kiss that had stolen her breath. "We're gonna get through this," he'd whispered, his forehead resting against hers once they'd parted. "An' then we're gonna figure this all out. Dong ma?"

Nodding once, River had kissed him back, before laying out the plan and leading him into battle.

Pausing again, she rested her free hand over the nearest blast door, closing her eyes and swaying to the side. The noise they would no doubt make in getting to the Captain and the others would arouse Badger to their presence; she had to be sure.

Recognizing the painful consciousnesses of Zoe, Jayne and Mal, River's eyes snapped open. Holstering her gun, she flew to the door's edge and whipped open the control panel, exposing a mess of wires. As she reached to grab a few, hoping to short circuit the door's controls, Rafe's hand reached out and covered her already bruised and bloodied ones.

"Hang on there, babe. Let me do it."

Nodding once, River stepped to the side, trying to mask her impatience as Rafe fiddled with the wiring. With a sigh and a whir, the heavy door finally rolled back, revealing their injured comrades.

"'Bout damn time," Jayne muttered, his head rolling back against the wall as the momentary rush of adrenaline he'd felt ebbed away.

Ignoring him, River moved immediately to Mal, knowing his injuries were the worst, while Rafe attended to Zoe and the mercenary. Kneeling down beside him, River rested a cool hand to Mal's forehead, feeling the burning heat of a fever, no doubt from the infection in his leg. "Daddy?" she whispered softly. She knew he was still in there, he was still alive, but River had a hard time believing it until she could once again look into those blue eyes.

Mal heard her soft voice and knew that his angel had arrived. Forcing his heavy lids to flutter open, Mal cracked a grin. "Hey there, lil' one," he rasped, fighting off the pain he felt. "What were ya doin'? Takin' a vacation?"

Smiling softly, River told him, "Well, you never give me time off."

A small chuckle escaped his lips, quickly turning into a cough as the movement in his chest and his body caused more pain to shoot through his limbs. As River helped to steady him, Zoe, rubbing at her now free wrists, asked, "What's our status?"

Glancing to the first mate, River answered, "Badger wants to turn us over to the Alliance. The ship is on its way."

Her lips compressing into a thin line, Zoe glanced to Mal's beleaguered form, before turning slightly to regard Jayne and Rafe. Looking back to River, the two women formed a silent plan.

"All right, Rafe, you take the Captain, get him back on board." As Mal attempted to protest, Zoe's strong, authoritative voice drowned him out. "Don't make me shoot out the other knee, sir," she threatened, ignoring the caustic look he favored her with.

"River, you, me an' Jayne are gonna pay Badger an' his boys a little visit."

xoxoxoxo

With a look of barely concealed boredom, Commander Anderson waited for the safety lock to cycle to green before motioning his men to open the newly sealed portal. He really was tired of these patrols, answering random calls from the marginal dregs of society. He had not spent over five years training on Osiris for this kind of work.

The normal complement of four heavily armed guards went before him, canvassing the deserted ship for any booby traps or unexpected threats. Walking at a measured pace, he finally rejoined them on the bridge, his nose wrinkled in disgust at the number of corpses he'd passed on the way there. Stepping into the room, he surveyed the ragtag collection of possible criminals with an Alliance eye.

"I am Commander Elon Anderson of the Alliance cruiser Hudson. We received a call from this vessel regarding the capture of known criminals."

A small man wearing a bowler hat and an annoyed expression appeared as though he might speak, but a large, dark-skinned woman beat him to it. "We did, Commander." Gesturing with one of her upraised hands, her weapon already confiscated by his men, she motioned to the hat man and four others standing uncertainly behind him. "These are the criminals you want."

Pursing his lips, Anderson thought about hauling them all in. The Amazon woman, while beautiful, was also deadly – he'd have to be a fool not to recognize the power in her stance. The other two, a petite young woman with wild hair and a hulking man, apparently injured, were also a mystery. But one more look at the collection of miscreants they'd been called to collect and the Commander decided the five of them were plenty for one day.

Nodding towards his officer, he ordered, "Arrest them."

xoxoxoxo

Kaylee sighed contentedly, not at all certain she could ever remember a time before when she had been this warm. Snuggling more securely into Simon's side, her body sated and spent from their continued celebration of marital bliss, she was relieved to find sleep coming easier. Despite the fact that her family was still missing, just the knowledge that she was Simon's wife, that the captain and the others were doing everything they could to bring her folks back to her, made it that much easier to drift off.

_She wasn't surprised when she dreamed she was back on board Serenity. Was even less surprised when she dreamed she was in their old bunk, sleeping just as she was now, with Simon's strong arms wrapped around her. It was as if she was floating in a cocoon of warmth and security and she prayed that it would last._

_The cry of a baby interrupted her sleep and Kaylee picked her head up, wiping at blurry eyes. With a small smile, she climbed over Simon's dozing form, pausing for a moment to press a kiss to his cheek, before pulling on a robe. Opening the door to their room, she padded across the hall to where she knew the baby's nursery to be and opened the screen, a bright smile on her face as she greeted her little one._

_When instead confronted with an empty crib, Kaylee felt her heartbeat speed up. She could still hear the baby crying, the small wail growing more urgent, causing her maternal instincts to kick into overdrive. Spinning around, she paused to listen, hoping to get some clue as to where her baby could be. Frantic, she started searching, groping at walls, as everything suddenly grew dark, Serenity's once familiar surroundings becoming nothing more than blobs of shadow._

"I'm comin', baby" she panted, wildly thrashing about beside Simon as the dream refused to let her go.

Her husband woke at the panicked sounds, his sleep-addled mind clearing in a second as he watched Kaylee struggle in her sleep. Her head was rolling back and forth on the pillow, small tears leaking out from behind tightly closed lids as she flailed about. Worried, Simon reached for her, leaning over her and placing his hands on her cheeks.

"Kaylee, bao bei, wake up." His voice was low, his lips right near her ear and the sound woke her in an instant.

Inhaling sharply, Kaylee sat up quickly, forcing Simon to back away from her. Sitting up beside her, he reached out a hand to her shoulder, watching as she trembled violently, doing her best to process what she'd just dreamt. "Kaylee?" he asked softly, edging closer and placing his hands on her shoulders. "You were dreaming. Are you all right?"

"Dreamin'," she breathed, taking a few deep, shaky breaths in an attempt to still her heartbeat. Closing her eyes again, she whispered, "Jus' dreamin'."

As Simon watched her try and control her emotions, Kaylee felt the tension from the dream, the happiness and the hope it had inspired, even if only for a second, drain away, leaving emptiness behind. With another heavy sigh, she pulled her knees into her chest and dropped her head onto them as she started to cry.

Simon wished he knew what more to do. It seemed there was nothing he was capable of that could take away Kaylee's pain or anxiety and it was killing him. Pulling her towards him, Simon easily enveloped her shaking form with his own, resting her head against his chest, his arms wrapped around her. Pressing a kiss into her hair, he whispered, "You're all right. I'm here."

Uncoiling her arms from around her legs, Kaylee gripped him instead, pressing her face into his chest, hot tears wetting his bare skin. "M'sorry," she hiccupped, her guilt at ruining their first night as a married couple making the entire situation worse.

"Shh, you have nothing to be sorry for," Simon told her, pulling her more firmly into his lap. "I love you."

A strangled sob escaped her lips and Kaylee clutched his arms tighter. "I dreamed we had the baby," she told him shakily, even as more tears fell; tears that Simon's eyes mirrored, but she could not see. "I dreamed the baby was cryin' an' I couldn't find him. He just kept cryin' …" Her words dissolved into more sobs and Simon felt a flash of guilt as he realized how grateful he was that she couldn't tell him anymore. He couldn't hear it – not now – couldn't continue to watch her suffer like this.

Holding her tight, Simon didn't know what else to do, but rock her gently and pray they would soon see their way through this. The Captain and his sister, along with the others had already been gone for almost a week and the lack of news was maddening.

Almost on command, the cortex link in their living room started buzzing, startling them both. Raising tear-filled eyes to him, Kaylee whispered, "You think it's them?"

Simon's only answer was a look halfway between a grimace and a smile. Rising quickly, he pulled on a pair of pajama pants while Kaylee reached for her robe. Arriving at the screen, Simon made sure Kaylee was sitting in front of it before he flipped it on.

His sister's tight, pale face greeted him and Simon felt the remaining breath in his lungs rush out of him. "River?" he asked quietly, his eyes doing a hasty assessment to determine if she was injured. "Are you all right?"

Nodding once, her voice was firm, but her eyes, those huge brown eyes, betrayed her worry. "Yes, I'm fine. But the Captain isn't and neither is Jayne." 

"My family?" Kaylee whispered, her hands clenched in her lap so tightly her knuckles were turning white. "Didya find 'em? My folks an' the others?"

River's eyes flicked to Simon's face, and in that instantaneous look, Simon knew the answer was no. Squeezing Kaylee's shoulder, he knelt beside her as River answered, "No, Kaylee. I'm sorry. They were already gone by the time we got here."

Numb, Kaylee felt everything shut down as River's words reached her. Instead of the rush of tears and uncontrollable sobbing she had expected, Kaylee felt nothing – even worse than before when she had cut herself and watched with disinterest as the blood had run down her arm.

"We'll find them, bao bei," Simon whispered, taking her hands in his and kissing them softly. "We will, I promise you."

"First, we need help. Mal's leg …" Trailing off, River recalled the sight of his smashed knee, bloody and broken and shivered. "He needs help. And Jayne's lost a lot of blood. We're about six hours out."

Nodding, Simon stayed at Kaylee's side, but turned his attention to his sister. "I'll have an emergency team meet you at the docks. And Eli and I will meet you at the hospital."

River smiled softly, showing her gratitude. "And can you let Inara know? I've tried to reach her, but I'm not getting an answer."

Frowning, Simon assured, "Of course, she must be out." Glancing back to Kaylee and her absolutely bereft expression, Simon added, "We'll see you when you get here, mei mei."

"Okay," River whispered, her heart breaking for her brother and her best friend. "Love you," she said softly and then she was gone.

Simon's blue eyes had not left Kaylee's face for untold minutes and he wished that just this once he had River's ability to read minds. Kaylee's expression was blank, her eyes dead, her body limp. It was such a contrast to her normal state – the one where Simon could always, without fail, tell exactly what she was thinking and feeling. But now, nothing.

Tugging gently on her hands, Simon whispered, "Kaylee, please. Talk to me."

Blinking rapidly at the sound of his voice, Kaylee slowly turned her gaze to him. "Ain't nothin' to say. They're gone."

"That's not true," Simon warned. "We can still find them and you know it." Studying her still expressionless features, he added quietly, "You just can't lose hope."

"Hope?" The word sounded foul on her lips and Kaylee spit it out with the bitterness it evoked. "You're gonna talk to me 'bout hope?" Rising slowly, Kaylee stared at Simon, feeling her anger on the rise. "What hope, Simon? If the Cap'n an' them didn't find 'em, then that means they been-" Inhaling sharply, the word died on her lips. She couldn't say it, she couldn't speak about her family like so much cattle. Dropping her eyes to the floor, she added in a whisper, "They might as well be dead."

Charging towards her, Simon grabbed her forcefully by the shoulders, shaking her just a bit so her eyes locked onto his. "No, Kaylee, don't say that." He didn't know why he was so upset, angry even that she was so ready to dismiss any chance that her family might still be alive. Was it guilt? The knowledge that if her family was gone for good, it would be his fault? Or was it simply that Simon knew, better than most that if Kaylee lost her ability to hope, if she let go of her optimism, that they were all lost? "Just … don't," he added in a whisper, pulling her to him and holding her tight.

Kaylee's arms slowly snaked around his back and she felt Simon let out a deep, shuddering breath. "S'okay, Simon," she whispered, rubbing his back in slow circles. "Maybe this is jus' how things were meant to be."

The emptiness in her voice almost broke Simon to pieces, but refusing to give into it, he simply held her tighter.

xoxoxoxo

"Doctor Butler?"

Glancing up from his desk, Eli's eyes narrowed immediately as he recognized the man who had called his name. Straightening up a few charts, he folded his hands together and greeted his visitor. "Mister Tam. What can I do for you?"

Taking the reply as an invitation to enter, Gabriel shut the door behind him, sitting gingerly in a chair across from the older man. Meeting his gaze for a moment, Gabriel finally said, "I hope this isn't a bad time."

Shaking his head stiffly, Eli waited for the other man to continue. The elder Tam had come to see him for a reason; he could wait.

Clearing his throat, Gabriel got to the heart of the matter. "Regan and I haven't seen Simon for days. And any attempts we've made to contact him …" Letting the statement remain unfinished, the desperate father finally said, "I was wondering if you might speak to Simon on our behalf."

Eli truly felt for the man in that moment. He could only imagine to what lengths he would go if one or both of his daughters ever decided to shut him out of her life. However, Eli's allegiance was to Simon, had been for a while now, and no matter the other man's parental rights, in Eli's opinion he'd forfeited them the moment he'd turned his back on his son.

Sitting forward, Eli said quietly, "Gabriel, I am sorry for the situation between you and Simon. It is regrettable, there's no doubt about it." The small glint of hope that lit the other man's eyes was gone in a moment as Eli continued. "However, Simon is a grown man, a good man and a fine doctor. If he's made a choice regarding his interactions with you and Regan, than that is something I have to, and will, respect."

Gabriel glared at the other man, trying to best determine what if anything he could say that might sway his opinion. He'd known coming here was probably a fool's errand and yet he'd done it anyway, for Regan if nothing else. Simon's silence was eating at his wife more than she'd ever admit and so, in turn, it was eating at Gabriel.

"Well, I-"

The beep of Eli's console interrupted them. Smiling softly in apology, the doctor swiveled slightly in his chair to answer the call. "Yes?" The look of surprise and then long pause signaled to Gabriel this was not a friendly wave. "Of course," Eli said swiftly, sitting forward a bit. "I'll prep a team and have them meet at the docks. I can-"

"Yes, yes, of course," Eli answered, after another pause. Gabriel could barely hear the soft murmur of another voice. "What about Kaylee? Do you want me to send Evelyn over?"

At the sound of the familiar name, Gabriel's interest was piqued. Sitting forward, he strained to hear more and was only annoyed when Eli hurriedly ended the transmission. "I understand, Simon, of course. Whatever we can do, all right?" A pause, and then, "All right, I'll see you both in a just a few hours."

Turning back to his guest, Eli's face was no longer genial, but tight and full of tension. "I'm sorry, Gabriel, but an emergency has come up and I must attend to it."

"That was Simon," Gabriel stated needlessly. "What's wrong? Is he all right?"

As the older man's fingers flew across the keyboards in front of him, Eli answered distractedly, "No, actually he's not. And the crew of Serenity is even worse."

"River?" Gabriel breathed, concern for his little girl warring with the knowledge that she was a killer.

"Apparently, she's all right, but …" Trailing off, Eli inputted one more command and then faced the concerned parent. "Things are not good, Gabriel. River and the others went to find Kaylee's kidnapped family and came back with bullet wounds and concussions to show for it."

Gabriel had a very difficult time processing this information. It was hard enough to believe that people he would know had actually been kidnapped by slavers in the first place. Add to that already impossible situation the knowledge that his daughter had been shot at and Gabriel was finding it even harder to comprehend.

"What can I do?" he asked, his voice barely more than a whisper. He wasn't even aware he'd voiced the question, until Eli answered him.

"That's a question for Simon," the older doctor said quickly, rising to take Gabriel by the elbow and show him the door. "As for right now, I need to prepare a team and get the OR ready. I'm sorry we'll have to cut our meeting short."

Nodding absently, Gabriel allowed Eli to manhandle him from the room. He stood staring at the now closed office door for a handful of minutes trying to determine what he should do next. Forming a plan, albeit a hasty one, he hurried back toward the waiting lifts, murmuring a prayer for perhaps the first time in his life.

xoxoxoxo


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

xoxoxoxo

Simon watched anxiously as the ambulance settled into its normal berth on the hospital's landing platform. His arm around Kaylee's shoulders, both of them were unable to do more than stare as the small vehicle opened its doors and a team of medics rushed out three gurneys. From their current vantage point, just inside the emergency room's sliding doors, all they could do was watch, any discussion or other noise separated from them by the soundproof glass.

With a whoosh of admittance, the doors opened and they were assaulted by a cacophony of sounds. Barked orders and vitals were rattled off, as doctors moved in to take over where the medics had left off. Simon and Kaylee turned as one, staring at the broken bodies of their comrades, as River and Zoe slowly made their way inside, their faces drawn tight.

River moved towards her brother automatically, enveloping him and Kaylee in a hug. Simon held her back, whispering a few words of gratitude for all she'd done and her safe return, while Kaylee continued to stare in silence. Glancing into her friend's dull green eyes, River brushed some hair back from her cheek and whispered, "We will find them, Kaylee."

Nodding minutely, Kaylee swallowed and watched as Mal's unconscious form was wheeled towards the nearest operating room, while Jayne and Rafe were taken to separate rooms. Like some form of demented parade, Simon, River, Kaylee and Zoe followed.

xoxoxoxo

River was at Rafe's side, her bruised and burned hand clasping one of his. He was unconscious again, his body failing to keep him awake once he'd received treatment. Eli had assured her that his concussion, while bad, was not dire and so River knew that he would be fine. But she still wished he'd open his eyes and smile at her.

Sitting beside him, she ran light fingers through his hair, watching absentmindedly as Doctor Butler entered the room, a nurse trailing behind him, as they checked first Jayne and then made their way over to her and the unconscious mechanic.

Giving her a warm smile as he pressed the stethoscope to Rafe's chest, Eli muttered a few notes to the nurse, before rounding the bed and resting a reassuring hand on River's shoulder. "He's going to be fine," Eli reminded her, his voice soft. "You should try and get some rest."

Shaking her head once, River's eyes remained locked on Rafe's peaceful face as she said, "No, I need to stay here."

Knowing that the Tam stubborn streak was as strong as any, Eli dropped the subject. Dismissing the nurse with a nod, he turned to go himself as River asked, "How is the captain?"

Sighing, the doctor turned back to her. He had met her a few times before, but they'd never really had cause to speak. In fact, most of what Eli knew about River had been filtered through Simon's eyes, his memories and recollections. Eli knew the girl was special, knew that she had unique talents and more than average intelligence. And judging by the way she stared at the man lying before them now, she also had a deep capacity to love – just like her brother.

Pulling up a seat, Eli studied her pale profile and said softly, "He should be all right. He lost a lot of blood, but he came through surgery fine. He won't be able to walk on that leg for a few weeks, but …" Trailing off, Eli's breath hitched in his throat as River finally turned to him, big, baleful brown eyes regarding him with such sadness he found it hard to breathe. Reaching out, Eli clasped one of her hands in his own and added, "He'll be fine."

Smiling slightly, River winced as Eli squeezed her hand a bit. The cuts and burns were really starting to sting. Noting her distress, Eli glanced to her hands, his eyes widening as he took in the extent of the damage. "My goodness, child. What happened?"

Shrugging, River didn't have an answer and Eli didn't wait for one. Rising, he headed into the hall, returning a minute later with a small kit of weaves and salves. Setting to work, River gave him her hands, watching the older man as he tended to her wounds with all the care and compassion she had ever seen from Simon. She knew how much her brother valued this man's friendship, how much he looked to Eli for approval and advice. She also knew how much Eli loved her brother and the knowledge that Simon was cared for and looked after eased her spirit in ways she could never accurately convey.

But she could try. "Thank you," she whispered, as Eli moved onto her left hand, the fingers of her right now covered with weaves.

Smiling slightly, Eli did not look up. "This is my job, sweetheart."

Shaking her head once, River's long hair swung back and forth, tickling the top of Eli's hand. Glancing to her face, he paused as he recognized true gratitude shining in those huge eyes. "No, thank you for caring for Simon. For treating him like a son. He really respects you and it … well, it means a lot to him. And to me."

Eli felt his heart swell with paternal protectiveness. This young woman, while undeniably strong, was also fragile and the father in Eli wanted to hold her and protect her from the world. Keep her safe as he knew Simon had endeavored to do his entire life.

Acting on instinct, Eli leaned forward and embraced the young woman, surprised by how fiercely she held him back. Running a hand lightly through her hair, he told her, "River, my wife and I love your brother very much. We consider him family and that means you're family too." Pulling back from her, Eli offered her a small smile and added, "If you ever need anything, I hope you won't hesitate to ask. I mean it."

Returning his smile, River blinked once to clear a few wayward tears. "I know. Thank you."

In silence, Eli finished his work, and River again turned to study Rafe's sleeping form. He was just starting to come around as the doctor finished and River anxiously rose, hitching herself up on the edge of the bed, so she could whisper in Rafe's ear. Eli could not hear her words and so he left quietly, knowing that the woman wanted time alone with the healing man.

"Rafe?"

He heard her hoarse whisper and knew it meant she was fighting back tears. Wanting to reassure her, Rafe worked his tongue in his mouth, wishing he could force his eyes open. But his lids were so heavy and his head was starting to throb again. "M'okay," he managed thickly, his hand flailing about, seeking River's warmth.

Grabbing the hand in her own, River smiled through her tears of relief. Trapping her lower lip between her teeth, she waited until Rafe had opened his eyes to her before pressing a soft kiss to his lips. "Hey you," she whispered.

"River," he breathed, the corners of his mouth quirking up into a faint smile. "Jian mei." His eyes searched her face, even as his head pounded again. He watched as one small tear dripped off River's nose and onto his cheek. Frowning slightly, he tried to assure her. "I'm fine, bao bei. I got a thick skull."

Giggling despite herself, River wiped at her face and told him, "Well, let's not test that theory again, all right?"

Returning her smile, Rafe murmured, "You okay?"

Running her now bandaged fingers through his hair, River whispered, "Everything's fine, just sleep. I need you to get better."

Rafe's eyes refused to stay open no matter how much he struggled. Finally giving in to the sleep that called him, he managed to tell her, "I ain't leavin' you," before again drifting into a drug-induced sleep.

Releasing a heavy sigh of relief, River molded herself to Rafe's side, taking up a small sliver of his hospital bed. With one arm wrapped protectively around his chest, she pillowed her head on his shoulder and watched him sleep.

xoxoxoxo

Zoe was at Mal's side as the man finally came around. He'd been under for almost ten hours and she was more than relieved to hear that familiar groan as pain and consciousness assaulted him.

"'Nara?" Only one name made it past his cracked lips and Zoe winced inwardly as she stood and took his hand.

"Sorry to disappoint, sir, but you'll have to settle for my company at the moment."

Forcing his eyes open, Mal met Zoe's stoic expression, his brow furrowing. "Where's 'Nara? She all right?"

"She's comin'," Zoe lied. In truth, she had no idea where the companion was and apparently, neither did anyone else. Zoe wanted to be mad at the woman for not being at Mal's side when he needed her comfort, but she also knew that for Inara to be absent, she had to have a good reason.

"Tell her I love her," Mal whispered hoarsely, barely finishing the statement before again falling to sleep.

Releasing a sigh, Zoe nodded once and squeezed his hand. "Will do."

xoxoxoxo

Kaylee could not sleep and Simon was not surprised. He felt her tossing and turning, releasing one sigh after the other. He had attempted to calm her, offering to hold her or give her a smoother, but with a stubbornness he was all too familiar with, she had rebuked him. So now, they both lay awake, unable to sleep despite the deep exhaustion that had permeated their bones.

Giving up, Kaylee rose, reaching for her robe and cinching it on quickly. Simon wondered if he should question her, but the glare she'd given him only an hour ago when he'd suggested that she take some sleep medication was enough to silence his tongue now. Sighing heavily, he rolled onto his side and valiantly tried to sleep.

She had considered wandering out to make some tea, but the extra steps to the kitchen seemed an insurmountable obstacle at the moment. So instead, Kaylee made her way into the bathroom, drawing a hot bath. Dropping her robe into a pool at her feet, she ran her fingers through the warm water, swirling some bubble bath so it foamed high. Sinking into the water, Kaylee let out a deep sigh, her head resting against the back of the tub. Attempting to soak most of the tension out of her body, Kaylee closed her eyes, feeling the added warmth of a hot tear fall down her cheek. Saddened beyond words, she continued to cry silently, more than startled when she felt gentle and cool fingers rest against her forehead.

Forcing her eyes open, she met Simon's concerned gaze and offered him a watery smile. Returning the small grin, he whispered, "You okay?"

Nodding once, Kaylee watched in silence as he pulled out a short vanity stool and sat beside her, his hand in hers. She couldn't put into words how much his care and concern meant to her. She also couldn't seem to convey how much she loved him, how grateful she was for his presence and strength.

"Simon," she said quietly, smiling softly as his bright blue eyes alit to her face.

Edging closer, he rested a hand to her cheek and answered, "Yes?"

Her smile deepening, Kaylee sat up, the water lapping a bit against the sides of the tub. Encircling the hand he held to her face in one of her own, she tugged him towards her and met his lips in a kiss. With a sigh, she poured all of what she was feeling, good and bad, into the motion, her lips working over Simon's with need, longing and desire. Running her wet hands up and over his biceps and along his shoulders, she twisted her fingers in the small hairs at the base of his scalp and pulled herself forward. Rising on her knees, she brought her bare chest to meet his, pressing her wet breasts against him. Simon moaned against her mouth, the feel of her warm skin on his own causing a multitude of sensations to course through him.

Mouths clinging to one another, Simon rose slowly, pulling Kaylee to her feet as well. Rivulets of water ran down his back and across his bare chest and Simon smoothed the beads along Kaylee's beautiful skin. Pressing their bodies together, he broke the kiss as Kaylee ground her hips against his, the motion causing his groin to throb more painfully with arousal. Dropping his forehead to her shoulder, Simon nipped at the skin there as Kaylee worked her hands back to the front of his pajama pants and pushed at the material there.

Stilling her hands, Simon met her lusty gaze. "Kaylee, we don't have to-"

Pressing her fingers to his mouth, Kaylee shook her head slightly, her eyes and body conveying just how desperately she did want to do this. "Love you," she murmured, as she replaced her fingers with her lips and tongue.

Wrapping strong arms around her waist, Simon hoisted her into his arms, splashing water on them both as he pulled her out of the tub. With a small squeal, Kaylee wrapped her legs around his waist, continuing to kiss him breathless as he whirled her around and pushed her back against the door to the bathroom. A low growl erupted in her throat at the pure need Simon was exhibiting, his hardened length rubbing against her clit and making her body burn.

"Simon, pants," she managed breathlessly, even as she attempted to pull at the offending material while keeping her balance against the door. Gently lowering her feet to the ground, Simon stepped back and Kaylee whimpered at the loss of contact. In seconds he had pushed the now wet material down to his ankles and stepped out of it, revealing his gloriously naked form to Kaylee's desire-filled gaze. Wrapping her hands around his neck, she crushed her lips back to his, their bodies again ending up flush with one another.

Moving his hands around to her back, Simon cupped her backside and lifted Kaylee again. She instinctively wrapped her legs around him and using her heels to spur him forward threw her head back against the door as Simon's hard length slid into her.

Grunting against her neck at the feel of her wet heat surrounding him, Simon took a moment to taste her, his tongue running a slow trail from the valley between her breasts, up her neck and finally to her lips. As he kissed her with abandon, his tongue mimicked the movement of his buried length, thrusting and caressing her mouth as assuredly as he moved in and out of her.

Kaylee broke the kiss as her climax neared. Her body was already wet and pliant from her bath and with each snap of Simon's hips, his pelvic bone rubbed deliciously against her causing her back to arch away from the door and bury Simon so deep she thought for sure they could never be parted.

Her breathing ragged and her body flooding with more warmth and wetness, Kaylee shouted Simon's name, her fingernails gripping at his shoulders as he held her trembling body. He waited until she had relaxed again before bringing about his own end, his lips covering one of her nipples and sucking slowly as his hot seed rushed through her, drawing another whimper from her swollen lips.

Panting, Simon managed to balance her against the door for another minute, before his legs felt too weak to sustain them both. Readjusting his arms around her, he pulled back from the door. Kaylee, sensing his intent, even amid her euphoria, reached for the knob.

Making it to the bed, Simon slid out of her, smiling softly as Kaylee moaned at his absence. Unable to keep her eyes open, she snuggled under the blankets as Simon arranged them, finding his hand and holding fast. "I need my husband pillow," she murmured.

Smiling slightly, Simon had no intention of going anywhere. Lying down next to her, he arranged the covers over them both as Kaylee nestled into his side, her arm wrapped around his waist, her forehead pressed into his neck.

"I love you, Kaylee Tam," he whispered into her hair, shivering slightly as she turned to brush a kiss into his neck.

"Love you, Simon," she murmured, and then she was asleep.

xoxoxoxo

Mal was dreaming – about Inara. She was always in his dreams now, no matter the context. Sometimes they were those really great dreams with her all soft and sensuous and sometimes they were scary dreams when some hun dan had taken her to exact revenge on Mal. But regardless of the dream, when Mal awoke, she was always right there beside him, warm and whole. Nothing else mattered.

But she wasn't next to him now and he mourned the absence. Forcing his eyes open, he was confronted with darkness and it took his drug-addled mind a few moments to register where he was and why. Attempting to move, the pain that shot up through his leg signified the reason he was in a hospital while also jogging his memory. Of course, Badger … the slaver ship … Kaylee's folks.

Groaning softly, he squeezed his eyes shut. He hadn't found them; Kaylee's parents were still missing and Mal had no idea how to get them back. And if the pain in his leg was any indication he wouldn't be up for getting them back for quite a while. Shiny.

Shivering slightly, Mal opened his eyes again, blinking a few times as he took in the silhouette of a woman standing over him. Squinting in an attempt to make her out, he inhaled deeply and then he knew. "'Nara," he breathed.

Clasping his hand tightly in her own, Inara was thankful for his confused state and the darkness. He didn't need to see her red and puffy eyes, didn't need to know how ridiculously painful the past few days had been. Mal also didn't need to see how concerned she was for him or how guilty she felt for not being here when he needed her. He just needed to get better.

Brushing her lips against his forehead, she whispered, "I'm here, ai ren. You're going to be all right."

"Where were ya?" he asked hoarsely. He wasn't mad she hadn't been around when he'd first regained consciousness, more concerned. It wasn't like Inara not to be where her family needed her most.

Brushing gentle fingers through his hair, Inara swallowed hard and told him, "I'm sorry, Mal. I had … something came up and I couldn't be reached. I came as soon as I heard."

"S'okay," he murmured, knowing he would soon pass out again. Squeezing the hand she held, he whispered, "You're stayin' now though, right?"

"Of course," she answered quickly, her lips again brushing against his forehead before they found their way to his mouth. "I'll be here, Mal. I promise."

"Shiny," he murmured again and then he was asleep. Inara stared at him for a moment more before slowly sinking into the chair at his side. Resting her forehead against his hand, she let out a sigh and waited out the night.

xoxoxoxo

"Mama!"

Kaylee awoke with a start, her breathing shallow as the dream faded away. Burying her face into Simon's shoulder, she took a deep, shuddering breath, relieved to find his warm, gentle hands already running along her skin, his voice low and soothing as he tried to calm her.

Waiting until her breathing had again returned to normal, Kaylee pulled herself tighter to Simon, and listened to his steady heartbeat under her ear. Based on the sunlight streaming through the window, she guessed it was time to be up, but she was more than content to stay wrapped in Simon's arms. It was warm there and safe and when it was just the two of them she didn't have to remember.

"I wanna have a service," she finally said, her voice low.

Frowning at the top of her head, Simon glanced to her and asked, "Shen me?"

Tilting her face up to meet his gaze, she repeated, "A service. I wanna have one for my family. You know, to say goodbye."

Understanding dawning, Simon cupped her face in his hands and brought his lips to meet hers. Pressing a kiss against them, he whispered, "We're going to find them."

Shaking her head once, Kaylee fought to keep her grief at bay. "No, Simon, we ain't. You heard River. By the time they got to the ship they'd already been sold." Her voice cracked on that last word and Simon pulled her tight to him. Wrapping her arms around him, she sighed and then said, "I don't want nobody else gettin' hurt. Or worse."

"I don't either," Simon agreed. Taking a deep breath, he continued to rub her back comfortingly, more than relieved when he felt her drift back to sleep. Waiting until he knew she was out, he slid out of bed and made his way to their cortex link. Keying in a code, he found Zoe exactly where he expected her to be. "I have an idea."

xoxoxoxo


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

xoxoxoxo

Simon was again lying with Kaylee as he heard their front door open and close. Knowing that all the necessary parties must now be in attendance, he pressed a soft kiss into her hair before rising. He had already showered and was fully dressed and so he entered their living room smiling tightly at the assembled crew.

"Can I get you all anything?" he asked, gesturing towards the kitchen.

"We're fine, doc," Zoe answered for them, cutting off whatever request had been forming on Jayne's lips. Inara also declined his offer and so Zoe continued. "Why don't you tell us 'bout this plan o' yours?"

Swallowing hard past the lump in his throat, Simon paced a small path before them, rubbing his hands together. "All right, this is just an idea, and I don't have the specifics worked out yet, but I do think it has a chance of-"

"Oh, cut ta the chase, doc," Jayne grumbled, still irritated that he had been awoken so early in the morning.

Ignoring the brute, Simon stopped pacing, turning to face Zoe. "I want to buy Kaylee's family back."

Inara gasped audibly at his words, more startled by the statement than the actual idea. Zoe simply cocked an eyebrow at him, trying to figure if the boy was feng le or just desperate. She was guessing it was about a fifty-fifty split at the moment.

"What I mean is," Simon hastened to explain, chilled by Inara's wide-eyed gaze. "If her family has already been sold, there's a chance we could buy them back. I'm thinking that I can pose as a buyer, flash some credits and then get them into a place where we can either steal them back or pay for them out right." Glancing back towards his room, he murmured, "I don't really care at the moment how we get them as long as we do."

Releasing a heavy sigh, he asked, "Well?"

Jayne grunted his disapproval while Zoe and Inara shared a knowing look. "Mal is going to hate this plan," Inara confided, getting a nod from Zoe in return.

"True, but he ain't gettin' outta that bed for at least another three weeks an' by then it'll be too late for Kaylee's folks." Turning her even gaze back to Simon, she added, "'Sides, Mal's rep is pretty well-known. He ain't the right person to try and set up a buy. Simon an' you on the other hand," Zoe continued, glancing back to Inara. "The two o' you are perfect."

Shaking his head, Simon interjected. "No, I don't want anyone else endangered because of this. Inara is not to be involved."

"It'll be way more convincing if you bring along a wife, doc," Zoe explained. "'Specially a fine lookin' one like 'Nara. She makes men think all kinds o' non-business-y thoughts. Good with the distractin'."

"I think there was a compliment in there," Inara retorted dryly, her eyes belying her mirth. Looking to Simon, she sobered instantly. "Zoe's right, Simon. It'll be better if we go as husband and wife, and something tells me you don't want Kaylee anywhere near this."

Shaking his head firmly, Simon answered, "Definitely not." The four crewmen sat in silence for a moment, their eyes roaming from one to the other as the full danger and importance of Simon's idea sunk in.

Pushing himself away from the wall he'd leaned against, Jayne headed for the kitchen. "Well, if'n we're gonna do this, I ain't doin' nothin' more without some coffee."

Grinning slightly as Simon realized that was a stamp of approval from the mercenary, he looked back to Zoe, his eyebrow raised in silent question.

Smiling tightly, she answered, "Well doc, who'd o' guessed your criminal mastermind weren't just a one time thing?"

Chuckling lightly as he took a seat opposite her, Simon shot back, "Yes, but I still have to work on that mustache."

"Uh-uh, no way."

Frowning, Inara glanced to Simon as the younger man let his shoulders slump. None of them had really expected any other type of reaction from Mal, but it was still disappointing.

Only Zoe seemed unfazed. "It's the way it's gotta be, sir."

Blue eyes blazing, Mal glared at her. "No, it ain't. This ain't a plan, it's a gorram suicide mission. And you," he bit out, thrusting an accusatory finger in his first mate's direction. "I cannot believe you even entertained it for a second."

"It's a good plan," she responded. Her stoicism had seen Mal through quite a few rough patches in the past, but at the moment it was just annoying. "Simon's right 'bout this bein' the only way. We can't break into a slaver facility. You know that as well as me. Simon's got the money an' we've got the contacts to set this up nice an' proper."

"And Jayne will be with us, Mal," Inara soothed, sitting at his side. As he shot her a hurt look, she added, "Zoe and River too. We'll be fine."

"Fine?" Glancing between his girlfriend and his first mate as if they had both lost their ruttin' minds, Mal demanded, "Do you have any idea the types o' folks we're talkin' 'bout here? I'll give ya a hint – they're a helluva lot more like Niska, not Badger."

All of them shuddered at the mention of the former, but no one said a word to disagree. They knew he was right.

As silence filled Mal's hospital room, he let his eyes roam over each of them. Finally resting his gaze on Simon, he decided to hit the man where it hurt. "What's Kaylee say 'bout all this?"

His cheeks blushing in shame, Simon answered, "She doesn't know yet. She was resting so peacefully when we left, I didn't want to wake her. Evelyn and Eli are with her."

"She's gonna hate it," Mal told him, pressing the issue. "You realize that, don'tcha?"

"No, Mal, I thought she'd see me off with kisses and a parade," Simon retorted sharply, allowing some of his famous sarcasm to shine through. "Of course she's going to hate it. But I can't stand to see her like this. She's-"

Breaking off, Simon rose abruptly and turned his back on the group, allowing his eyes to travel out the room's only window. Crossing his arms over his chest, he took a deep breath, conjuring the image of Kaylee's peaceful, sleeping face to mind. Calmer, he turned back to them and said, "We have to get them back. And this is the way to do it."

"How you even know they're gonna be for sale?" Mal was running out of viable arguments, but he'd keep reaching. "How do you know that ain't already been sold?"

"Somethin' Badger said," Jayne explained, his deep voice a low rumble through the group. "While I was cuttin' on him. Somethin' 'bout brokers."

"We did some diggin'," Zoe continued. "Apparently, Badger was simply transportin' the bodies to the dealers. The real trade won't happen for another week or so."

Letting his head fall back against his pillows, Mal muttered, "I 'spose you're also gonna tell me you got the meet all set up too?"

The sound of Inara clearing her throat confirmed it. Turning his concerned gaze to her, Mal murmured, "This ain't a good idea, ai ren."

"It's for Kaylee, Mal," she explained gently, squeezing his hand in hers. "We have to try."

More silence. Mal had known as soon as they'd entered the room that he would lose whatever battle they put before him. He'd seen it in the set of Zoe's jaw and the blaze of determination in Inara's eyes. And he hated it.

Glancing to Zoe, Inara gave her the slightest of nods and the first mate rose. "We got some more plans to make, Cap." Heading for the door, she took Jayne roughly by the arm and pulled him along, Simon following. "We'll be back to see ya 'fore we go."

Mal nodded once as he watched his best friend leave, waiting until the door had clicked shut behind her before turning to Inara. "Don't go."

Biting her lower lip between her teeth, Inara shifted on the bed, so she could better face him. Resting a warm hand to his cheek, she held his intense gaze and answered, "Mal, we have to do this for Kaylee. You know that. And I know that if you were up and around right now, you wouldn't hesitate." Noting the way he averted his eyes, Inara guessed that was the real heart of the matter; Mal was ashamed that his girl was going to have to fight his battle for him. "Kaylee's my family too, Mal. And if I can help her, I will."

"It should be me," he finally admitted, his voice rough. Rubbing his calloused thumb along the back of her smooth hand, Mal sighed heavily. "I never wanted any o' this kinda thing to touch you, 'Nara."

"I'm not a china doll, Mal," she reminded him, touched by his concern. "I don't break that easily."

"I know that," he assured, tugging gently on the hand he held. Inara moved towards him, resting her head on his shoulder as he moved his arm around her waist. "Truth is you're a damn sight stronger than me. Strongest person I ever met."

Frowning softly, Inara disagreed. "I thought Zoe was the strongest person you'd ever met?"

Pressing a kiss against her temple, he murmured, "Yeah, well, don't tell her, but you took over that title a while back. Break her heart to know it though."

Giggling softly at his humor, Inara raised her head, meeting his concerned gaze. "I'll be all right, Mal, I will." As she leaned in to kiss him, she considered that whatever could happen on this job could not be half as bad as discovering her long lost child was dead.

xoxoxoxo

Rafe stared at River, her wide brown eyes studying him just as intently. He was feeling better now, the bump on his head having shrunk to a decent size. He was no longer foggy and didn't see double, but occasionally his brain would throb painfully protesting a sudden movement or a troublesome thought.

Like the one River had just posed.

Gripping her hands tightly in his own, Rafe told her, "This isn't a good idea, jian mei."

Smiling softly at his nickname, River leaned towards him and brushed her lips against his. Before he could deepen the kiss as he truly wanted to, she pulled away. "We're all going to be fine. I have to do this for Simon and for Kaylee."

"Then I gotta do it, too," Rafe affirmed. Dropping her hands, he grabbed for the edge of his covers, ready to pull them back and get out of this gorram bed so he could once again fly off and save the day with his girl at his side.

With a small frown and a patient look, River placed her hands back on his, stilling his movement. "You can't," she told him, waiting until his eyes had met hers before continuing. "You're still hurt. You're going to have to stay here."

"River, I can't keep watching you fly off into imminent danger," Rafe sighed, his frustration getting the better of him. Cupping her cheek in his calloused palm, River sighed against his touch as he added, "You got any idea what that does to me?"

With a nod, River reached up a hand and ghosted the tips of her fingers over the gauze on the back of his neck. "Yes, I do."

Silence fell between them. Rafe continued to stare at the beautiful creature before him, more determined than ever to be with her, regardless of the obstacles. But it seemed that at every turn the 'verse was determined to place bigger roadblocks in their way and he was starting to lose hope.

Sighing, he pulled her hands to his lips and kissed them gently, his eyes never leaving her face as she gazed at him. Scooting closer, River took one hand and ran it through his hair, while the other rested over his heart. "Still want to be with the crazy moonbrain," she whispered, her breath catching in her throat as she felt a swell of emotions from him.

"River," he said firmly, keeping his voice low. Placing his hands on her cheeks, he curled his fingers back into her hair, delighting in the softness of the strands. Despite the fact that she could shoot better than Jayne and fly better than just about anyone he'd ever met, she would always be precious to him because she was River. She was more than a fighter to Rafe, she was soft and gentle and when he looked in her deep, brown eyes, he didn't see a killer. "I don't jus' _want_ you, I love you."

The words took her by surprise and that startled River almost more than the actual phrase. Blinking rapidly, she couldn't help but open a small flap into his mind, determined to discover the truth behind his words. She wanted them to be true.

"You gotta stop pushin' me away," he continued, his fingers gently massaging the base of her scalp and quickly turning her into a puddle of flesh. "I know you love the Cap'n an' wanna protect him, but … Can't you do that an' be with me, too?"

Swallowing hard, River met his open gaze. "It's hard," she admitted, tipping her head forward and resting their foreheads together. "Sometimes, you help keep me calm, make me safe. But sometimes, when there's danger, it's all too much and I can't tell …" Her voice faded as her conflicting emotions rushed to the surface and River had to stop before a sob welled out of her throat.

Wrapping his arms around her shoulders, Rafe pulled her to his chest, pressing a kiss to her temple as she buried her face into his neck, doing her best to soak up his warmth and peace. "Shh, babe, it's all right. Just tell me we can figure it out. No matter what it takes, I wanna figure it out."

Curling her fingers into the top of his hospital gown, River nodded once, waiting a minute before she could again trust her voice. "Might take time," she admitted finally, her voice shaky. "Time and patience."

Closing his eyes in relief, Rafe dropped another kiss into her hair. His lips murmuring against her skin, he assured, "I don't care what it takes. As long as I get to be with you, I'll do it. Dong ma?"

Nodding again, River slowly unfurled her fingers from the fabric, allowing her fingertips to drift up towards his chin and outline the underside of his jaw. Rafe sighed at the touch, a small shiver running through his body as he imagined those delicate, graceful fingers running all over his skin.

Grinning wide as she picked up the essence of this lusty thought, River lifted her head to meet his eyes. "You really love her," she breathed. "Really want her, broken and all."

"Of course I do." Rafe smiled slightly, brushing some of River's long hair behind her ear. "An' you ain't broken. You're special an' beautiful an' wonderful an' strong an'-"

River swallowed the rest of his statement, capturing his lips in a kiss that expressed all the emotion she could muster. As she pulled her body tight to Rafe's, delighting in the feel of his strong, warm hands supporting her back, his tongue caressing hers, his passion washing over her, River felt a bit of her perpetual tension ease out of her. She knew what it meant to be loved. She finally understood.

xoxoxoxo

Zoe sat across from Simon and Inara, Eli and Evelyn on the opposite side of the room, watching with nervous expressions. Glancing once to Jayne, she noticed that the merc's normally nonchalant stance was laced with a bit of tension and it brought a small smile to her lips. 'Bout gorram time he got nervous.

Gesturing to the ident cards and data sheets she had spread out on the table between them, Zoe explained. "We've arranged the meet for the day after tomorrow on Ariel. The slaver's name is Harris, but we'll be meetin' his man first, Chang. There's a chance we won't never meet the real boss, but at this point, we gotta take what we can get."

Lifting up a data sheet, Zoe tapped the corner, two pictures that looked suspiciously like mug shots appearing in the middle of the page. "This is them."

Wrinkling his nose in disgust at their less than hygienic appearances, Simon commented dryly, "Lovely gentlemen. I'm amazed I haven't run into them before."

Inara stifled a smile as Zoe appeared unamused and continued to debrief them. "You'll be posin' as Thomas and Elena Wu. You've recently acquired a large and fertile ranch on Bernadette, result of a poker game, which you, Thomas," Zoe emphasized, glancing to Simon. "Won handily."

"Ain't nobody gonna believe that," Jayne snorted, getting glares from everyone.

"You're looking for a family to work the land and turn a profit before you and your wife, Elena, move out there. There are slave quarters on the property, me an' Jayne already checked." Zoe concluded her part in this, sitting back in her seat and glancing again to Jayne.

Sitting forward, he told them, "I'm the muscle."

Quirking an eyebrow at him, Simon did his best to not laugh as the other man grimaced and quickly corrected himself. "What I mean is, I'm _your_ muscle."

It was useless now. Eli, Evelyn and Simon all let out small chuckles as Zoe and Inara managed to hide their own behind hands pressed against their mouths. More than annoyed at being deliberately misunderstood, Jayne bit out, "I'm the bodyguard. Got me a new suit an' everything."

"Hmm, an untrained ape in a monkey suit," Simon murmured, glancing to Inara whose eyes were starting to tear as she fought to hold in her laughter. "That'll be interesting."

Deciding to ignore him, as Jayne knew his supposed employer showing up with a shiner would not help their cover, Jayne threw up his hands and stalked out to the patio. Once the door had shut behind him, the remaining adults burst into laughter, releasing some pent-up tension in the process.

Wiping at her eyes, Zoe was the first to recover. "There is one other thing, doc."

Sobering at her tone, Simon asked, "Yes?"

"Harris an' Chang, they're askin' for at least five hundred thousand platinum an' I ain't been able to convince him to include everybody."

All the air left the room in a rush as Simon registered the extent of Zoe's statement. "Five hundred thousand?" he whispered, eyes wide. As the Amazon woman nodded, Simon ran a hand through his hair and rose quickly, beginning to pace. "I cannot even fake having that much money, Zoe. If these slavers do their homework-"

"We're dead. Yeah, I know," Zoe finished evenly, her face again tight with tension.

Simon wasn't sure what, if any, options they might have. No one had that kind of money, save possibly his parents. He knew Eli and Evelyn didn't and neither did Inara. It seemed they were stuck with either praying the slavers were stupid or risking any shot at getting Kaylee's family back – and all of their lives in the process.

"Well, maybe we can-"

The door chime sounded, interrupting Simon and, puzzled, he gazed to the door before hurrying to answer it. Inara rose and followed, standing in the doorway, watching with a bit of trepidation as Simon greeted his guests.

"This really isn't a good time, father," he said firmly, not moving from the threshold and thereby preventing his parents from entering.

Frowning, Gabriel Tam stood tall and said, "Simon, please. Your mother and I want to know what we can do. There must be something."

Shaking his head stiffly, Simon answered, "No, there isn't. Please, just go and let us handle-"

"Simon."

Turning swiftly at the sound of Inara's voice, he greeted her with a puzzled expression before moving back to her side. Bringing her lips to his ear, she whispered, "Maybe there is something they can do."

Still confused, he looked to her for another second before realization dawned. His face paled and clouded with more tension as he told her firmly, "No. No way."

Resting a light hand to his shoulder, Inara reminded him, "We may not have a choice, Simon. If Harris and Chang find out we don't have the money to back our request …"

"Money?" Gabriel's ears had perked up immediately. "What about money? Do you need money, son?"

"No," the younger Tam bit out angrily, cursing himself silently in the next instant. Closing his eyes, he hung his head for a moment, wondering when exactly fate would let him off the hook. It seemed he'd already made amends more times than he cared to remember for all the stupid things he'd ever said to Kaylee or the one time he'd borrowed his father's hovercar without permission.

Letting out one more heavy sigh, Simon raised his eyes to Inara and saw compassion swirling in those dark brown orbs. This wasn't fair. He wished he could bring Kaylee with him, wished that he wasn't such a coward that he'd refused to wake her to tell her of their plan. Of course he also wished that her family had never been taken in the first place; that the captain had never been double-crossed by Badger, that … _If wishes were horses, Jayne would be eating steak._

Turning to face his parents, he gestured them inside. "Please come in. There might be something you can do to help after all."

Exchanging a tentative glance, Gabriel took his wife's hand reassuringly in his own and entered the apartment, following Simon and Inara back to the living room.

xoxoxoxo

"Mama_, tell me it's okay for me to go."_

_Ellie Frye placed the last pair of her daughter's coveralls in the carpet bag, taking an extra second to press her fingers against the worn and familiar material, before turning to face her baby girl. She'd already promised herself and her husband that she would not cry. But knowing that she was sending her Kaylee-Girl out into the 'verse with just a bag of clothes and a heart full of love was eating at Eleanor something fierce._

"_Oh baby," she sighed heavily, sitting beside her daughter on the old bed. Pulling the young woman's hands into her lap, Ellie studied them for a minute, smiling affectionately as she took in the grease stains on her palms and the dirt under her nails. Since the time Kaylee'd been able to walk, Ellie had had a near impossible time keeping her daughter's hands, face or clothes clean. She was always elbow-deep in one machine or another, running full speed after her brothers, climbing trees and jumping in mud puddles._

_Pulling her eyes back to her daughter's hopeful and open face, Ellie smiled and pushed some of her chestnut hair off her shoulder. "You are a good girl an' I will miss you somethin' fierce, but it ain't right for your pa an' I to keep you on this rock. You got so much talent, baby. There is so much more you could be doin'. You gotta take these chances when they come."_

_Trapping her lower lip between her teeth, Kaylee nodded once, blinking her eyes to clear them. She knew her mama was right. And that ship, Serenity, it was a beauty. She'd been dreaming of working on a Firefly since she was old enough to dismantle an engine. Fireflies had the nicest engines, with a bunch of really handsome movin' parts. Plus, if a mechanic could keep her clean and humming, that ship would sail for decades with nary a care. Kaylee knew she was that good of a mechanic – she knew she could keep her in the air._

"_The captain, he seems nice too," Ellie added, rising again to finish a bit of packing. "Ain't so sure 'bout that pilot, he's a might shady, if'n you ask me, that lip fur an' all."_

_Giggling, Kaylee rose and gathered a few pretties from her vanity. "Oh, mama, Wash is harmless, you'll see. 'Sides, he's only got eyes for Zoe, an' I ain't gonna cross her."_

_With a sigh of longing, Kaylee turned, her arms full of trinkets and the like. "Wouldn't it be somethin' if I met me a nice man like Wash? Sailin' out in the black, takin' care o' my ship, makin' love to a swai feller, an' havin' a life?" Pulling her eyes from the far-off dreamscape they'd wandered to, Kaylee asked again, "Wouldn't that be somethin', mama?"_

"_It certainly would, baby," Ellie answered, moving towards her daughter. Placing a kiss to her cheek, she took the things in her arms, turning back to pack them. _

_Kaylee let her arms drop to her sides, heading back to her closet to be sure she hadn't missed anything. Sliding the door open, she was met with an all-encompassing darkness that raised goosebumps on her skin. Groping along the wall, she searched for the light switch, pulling her hand back quickly as she felt a warm, sticky fluid coating her palm._

"_Mama," she called tentatively, trying to back out of the closet and back into the warm confines of her room. But there was no light or comfort to be had. The darkness consumed her now, encircling Kaylee so she couldn't see a thing, not even the hand in front of her face, the one coated with something she had the sickening feeling might be blood._

"_Mama!" Her voice was strangled as an unnamed fear gripped her heart, twisting her insides until she wanted to retch._

And retch she did. Sitting up in bed, Kaylee barely had time to drop her head over the side before emptying all the contents in her stomach. With hot tears streaming down her face, she panted a bit, waiting to see if the nausea might subside. As she felt another wave wash over her, Kaylee hastily stood up on shaky legs, rushing for the bathroom and making it to the toilet before vomiting again.

Resting her forehead against the cool porcelain edge of the toilet, Kaylee breathed heavily, her hand rubbing gently along her roiling midsection. Hair plastered to her forehead, she was hot and uncomfortable. Her throat burned from residual acid and her cheeks were still wet with the stinging tears of fear the dream had caused.

She barely heard the bedroom door open and could barely make out Simon's quiet voice as he called for her. Unable to answer him, she let out an audible sigh of relief when she felt his strong arms encircle her, cradling her shaking form against his chest.

Pushing her hair back and away from her face, he rocked her softly and whispered, "Shh, you're all right, bao bei. I'm here."

"I was dreamin' 'bout my mama," she told him hoarsely, her hands fisting into the front of his clean shirt. Kaylee realized as her fingers closed over the crisp material that she more than likely smelled awful and looked even worse. Ashamed, she tried to stand up, but Simon's tight grip on her shoulders prevented the movement.

"Where are you going?" he asked softly, his lips whispering against her flushed cheek.

"I look awful," she murmured, already feeling the pull of sleep now that Simon's presence had settled her nerves.

Smiling slightly even though she could not see it, Simon's hands continued to smooth circles along her back. "You're beautiful," he told her. Waiting another minute as he felt her trembling lessen, Simon stood with her in his arms, slowly taking her back to bed. As he placed her beneath the covers, he noticed the mess she'd made on the floor and cleaned it up. Bringing back another wash cloth and a cup of water, he offered the liquid to Kaylee who drank greedily, more than happy to wash away the acrid taste of vomit.

Smoothing her hair back from her face, Simon watched in silence, taking the cup from her before he began to gently bathe her face, neck and arms, ridding her skin of the sticky sweat.

Her eyes fluttered closed as his gentle hands moved over her, dark brown eyelashes resting hesitantly against still rosy cheeks. Simon studied her closely, feeling the tug of a small smile on his lips as she sighed once in contentment. Leaving her side for another minute, he returned again, this time with a hairbrush.

Kaylee opened her eyes reluctantly, unwilling to let go of the peace that had washed over her. She smiled slightly as he told her, "Sit up a bit."

She did as she was told, sitting forward with a bit of help from Simon so he could wedge himself between her and the head of the bed. Settling comfortably between his parted legs, Kaylee leaned gratefully against his broad, strong chest and smiled as he passed the brush through her hair. She knew he'd done this for River when she was troubled and she'd managed to get him to do it for her a few times. Sometimes, the repetitive motion calmed her nerves, while at others the touch was so intimate she'd barely let him brush it for a minute before pouncing on his delicious body.

Wishing she had the strength to make love to him now, Kaylee settled for just being close, reveling in the feel of his strong body supporting her. Simon could feel the tension easing out of her and he breathed a silent sigh of relief.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked quietly, his lips by her ear.

Shaking her head slightly, she told him, "No, it was jus' a nightmare."

Biting his tongue, Simon resisted the urge to push for more. The last thing he wanted was to upset her, especially when he knew that telling her of their latest plan to get her family back might just push her over the edge.

Refusing to ruin the peace that had settled over her, Simon continued brushing until her chestnut hair shone before placing the brush beside him. Wrapping his arms around her shoulders, Kaylee sighed softly and turned into him, her cheek resting against his strong bicep as she snuggled in for sleep.

Regrettably, Simon knew it was rest he could not let her have – not until he fessed up. "Kaylee?" he whispered, his mouth pressed against her forehead, his breath tickling her skin.

"Hmm?" she murmured, feeling so relaxed she knew she'd be asleep in moments.

"There's something I need to tell you."

His words sent a jolt of anxiety through her, immediately causing her back to stiffen and her heart to race. Reluctantly opening her eyes, Kaylee took a deep breath before tilting her head back to meet his mournful, blue-eyed gaze. "What?"

Brushing the backs of his fingers down her cheek, he smiled softly, wishing he knew of a better way to do this, wishing he didn't have to do it all. She was so beautiful, so precious to him; he would give anything to make her whole again. "We have another plan. We think we know how to get your family back."

xoxoxoxo


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

xoxoxoxo

"She's not really speaking to me so I'm not exactly sure how she's feeling." With a heavy heart, Simon let out a sigh, his eyes gazing to Kaylee's motionless form as she sat, hands in her lap across the room. Looking back to Eli and Evelyn with the most forlorn of expressions, the young doctor added, "I'm still concerned that she might-"

Resting a comforting hand to his shoulder, Evelyn smiled warmly. "Don't worry, Simon. We'll take good care of her."

Nodding stiffly, Simon bent his head closer to Eli's to give a few instructions, while across the way, Inara and Mal were saying goodbye. The captain's weight was fully supported on a crutch, the muscles of his forearm bulging under the stress of leaning on it so heavily. But due to his stubbornness, he'd refused a wheelchair. So, Inara had simply decided to ignore his machismo and stay as close to him as possible.

The fingers of his free hand rested softly against Inara's cheek and she turned into the touch, brushing her lips over his palm, before turning those huge, brown eyes to meet his gaze. "We'll be fine, Mal," she assured him, forcing a smile to her face she did not feel.

Swallowing uncomfortably, Mal shifted his weight and murmured, "Yeah, I know."

Smiling softly at his failed attempt to mask his true feelings, Inara squeezed his hand in hers and said, "Zoe and Jayne won't let anything happen to me. You know that."

"Damn right, 'cause I'll kill 'em both if somethin' does," he muttered fiercely. Swaying a bit on his feet, Mal begrudgingly allowed Inara to guide him to a chair. Once he was comfortably seated, Inara kneeling before him, his curiosity overwhelmed him. He wanted to know where she'd been disappearing to and why she'd been so quiet. Sure, he'd been injured, but even Mal knew, she'd seen worse.

"'Nara, where were ya?" he asked quietly, not surprised by the look of mild confusion she favored him with.

"Shen me?"

"Look, I ain't sayin' I 'spect you by my side every time some fool shoots me." He tried to joke, but the paleness that assaulted her features told him it'd been the wrong move. Sobering, he continued, "But I know you weren't there when I first got back. An' no one could find ya." As she quickly averted his gaze, red flushing her cheeks, Mal's anxiety increased tenfold. "Where were ya?"

Biting her lower lip between her teeth, Inara let out a heavy sigh. She should have guessed that even drugged Mal would notice her absence. She didn't want to tell him where she'd been or what she'd discovered. Inara could barely admit it to herself. Every time she thought on it, she prayed it was just another part of an increasingly bad dream. And she knew, beyond a doubt that now was not the time to confront those particular nightmares.

"I'm sorry, ai ren," she told him, meeting his intense gaze. Sitting up on her knees, she rested a hand to his cheek and said, "I didn't mean to not be there. Something … there was something I had to do and-"

"'Nara, tell me." Mal was no fool, he could see her struggling to hide something from him and while it normally would have made him angry, the look of pure desolation in her eyes only inspired sadness.

"After," she said quietly, brown eyes searching his for understanding, for a reprieve, no matter how slight. "Please, Mal, it's not the time and … Well, there's nothing to be done."

Pessimism was not part of Inara's makeup – pragmatism maybe, but not hopelessness and Mal despaired to hear it in her now. Knowing she was right and that they did not have time to fully examine whatever it was that had so deeply affected her, Mal tugged on the hand she held to his face until he could cup her cheeks in his hands. Outlining her lips with his thumbs, he brought her face within a hairs-breath of his own and whispered, "You ain't off the hook, but I'll let it slide – for now. Dong ma?"

Smiling softly, she nodded once as his lips covered hers in a soft, sweet kiss that stole her breath.

River watched Inara and Mal from her perch at Rafe's side and smiled softly. They would be all right, she knew that now. Inara's mind swirled with pain and confusion, but River could see their future and the three fat babies that would fill the former Companion's and the captain's lives with joy.

Smiling that enigmatic grin that Rafe had long ago learned to cherish, she glanced to him and said, "It's time to go."

"You sure I can't come?" he asked softly, gripping her hand firmly in his own.

Sliding off the arm of the couch and into his lap, River wrapped her arms around his neck and told him, "I'm sure. Everything will be all right." Glancing back to her brother as he nervously tried to say goodbye to Kaylee, River looked back to Rafe with sadness tightening her eyes. "Besides, there's something I need you to do for me."

xoxoxoxo

"Kaylee, bao bei, we're not sure exactly how long we'll be gone, but hopefully only a few weeks." Simon fought every muscle in his body – they were screaming at him to reach out and hold her tight, tell her he wouldn't go and beg her for forgiveness. But swallowing hard, Simon knew he couldn't – he had to do this. He had to get Kaylee's family back, whether she understood his motivations or not.

Squeezing her hand tightly, Simon inched a bit closer to her. She still wouldn't look at him, had barely spoken a word to him in the two days since he'd explained the plan to her. He remembered with heartbreaking clarity her reaction – screaming and crying and then silence. It was the silence that weighed most heavily on him; Kaylee's smile and laughter and voice were like the greatest balm to his soul and their absence was physically painful. It hurt his heart.

"I love you, bao bei," he told her softly, gripping her hand with both of his, willing her to meet his gaze. "I love you so much. If I could think of another way-"

"Don't go." Her voice was quiet, but Simon heard it above the pounding of his own heart and felt his stomach plummet to his feet. Slowly turning those lifeless green eyes to him, she repeated plaintively, "Don't go. Please."

Realizing that Zoe and Jayne might have to pry his arms from her, Simon embraced her tightly, burying his face in her hair and breathing deep. Her arms slowly came around his back and then she was holding on to him just as fiercely.

"Kaylee, everything's going to be all right," Simon told her unconvincingly. He knew she didn't believe him, but he had to try. "We'll find your parents and the rest of your family and then you can all be together again." Unable to speak past the lump in her throat, Kaylee could only nod, squeezing Simon so tightly he was worried he wouldn't be able to breathe.

She loved him so much; there weren't words in English, Chinese or any other language to explain the depth of her feelings. And Kaylee knew Simon felt the same. Every time his eyes locked with hers, every time he held her or made love to her, every time he opened a door for her, Simon was conveying the extent of his love for her and the idea that she might lose that made her colder than she had ever been before.

Pulling back from him reluctantly, Kaylee took his face in her hands and held his blue-eyed gaze. Her eyes reflected an intensity he had not seen for weeks and he swallowed hard, wondering what exactly she was getting ready to say or do.

"You come back to me, Simon Tam." Her voice was stronger than even she had anticipated, and she forged ahead quickly. "I mean it. M'your wife now, so you gotta do what I say."

Smiling slightly at her command, Simon rested his forehead against hers and whispered, "Oh. Is that how it works?"

"Darn straight," she told him firmly, smiling softly in return. Swallowing hard several times, she managed to choke out, "I love you, Simon. You know that, right?"

His only answer was to press a passionate kiss to her mouth, one that drove every other thought from her head as Simon's tongue battled with her own, as his hands pressed her against him firmly, as his love for her enveloped them both.

Parting and panting for breath, Simon stroked her cheek and told her, "I love you, Kaylee. More than I could ever tell you."

"We'll bring him back, mei mei," Inara said quietly.

Turning abruptly at the sound of her voice, Simon and Kaylee smiled weakly to Mal and Inara who had made it across the room to stand beside them. Kneeling at Kaylee's side, Inara brushed some her friend's hair back from her shoulder and smiled warmly. "I promise, Kaylee, I'll bring him back in one piece."

As Kaylee hugged Inara tightly, Simon rose slowly and moved to stand before Mal. "I need you to-"

"I'll take care of your girl, son," Mal told him firmly, a strong hand on Simon's shoulder. "So long as you take care o' mine."

Nodding once in confirmation, Simon was actually grateful that Mal wouldn't be going; he trusted Eli and Evelyn more than just about anyone, but Mal had known Kaylee the longest and he was thankful that the Captain would be able to watch over her while they were gone. Of course, the fact that the Butlers had offered for everyone to stay under one roof was also a blessing.

As everyone gathered to say final goodbyes, Mal finally drew Zoe aside. Meeting his best friend's steely gaze, Mal affected his stern "captain-y" voice. "Zoe, I don't think I gotta-"

"No holes in your ship," she interrupted, letting the slightest twinkle light her deep brown eyes. "Got it, sir."

"No holes in my ship or any o' you," Mal amended. Looking once to Inara, he glanced back to Zoe and added, "I'm countin' on you, Zo."

Her face again a stoic mask of soldiery calm, the Amazon woman nodded once. "I won't let you down, sir."

Mal watched his crew – his family – file from the room, his heart heavy with guilt at his inability to help. Hearing a stifled sob from behind him, Mal limped over to Kaylee and sat gingerly beside her, not at all surprised when the young woman curled into his side. "It'll be okay, mei mei," he told her softly, wishing he really believed that. "Everythin's gonna be okay."

xoxoxoxo

Jayne had been in some fancy places in his life. Despite his chosen profession and his demeanor, he'd occasionally found the coin and the desire to frequent a nice restaurant, with tablecloths and the like, maybe find a bit more refined type of whore who could more accurately address his manly needs. He didn't necessarily prefer one to the other, rich or seedy, but he could appreciate the difference.

But this gorram place was just outta control. Jayne tried not to sneer, although he figured it would only increase his intimidation factor if he did. This restaurant, with its high-class cuisine – there weren't even prices on the menus – and snooty clientele was more pretentious than the doc, and that was sayin' something.

The gentle sound of Inara clearing her throat drew Jayne's attention from his inspection of the place and back to the matter at hand. Shifting his weight to his other foot, he adjusted the feel of his gun under his jacket. He wasn't used to being confined in such fancy fits and it was starting to annoy him. He had already questioned his ability to really fight in this monkey suit, but he supposed if push came to shove, he could always take the jacket off or rip it. After all, if they got involved in a tussle their cover was probably blown anyway.

Focusing on Inara and Simon, Jayne met the former Companion's raised eyebrow, knowing that she had guessed his attention was more than wandering. Frowning at her, he took a minute step forward, tuning back into the guarded conversation they were currently conducting with their contact, Chen.

"Well, the ranch is actually quite beautiful," Inara was saying, a wide and gorgeous smile on her face that Chen had already taken notice of.

"But huge," Simon chimed in, taking a sip of his expensive drink. Jayne was surprised by the ease with which the doc could feign casualness. In all the time the merc had known the uptight priss, he could probably count on one hand the number of moments he'd seemed this at ease. Wondering why he'd never before realized what a good actor he was, Jayne listened as Simon continued. "Which is, of course, why we were referred to you and your employer."

Nodding once, Chen's sharp gaze darted between Inara and Simon, a hand on his chin rubbing thoughtfully. He'd asked very few questions and made very few comments; Simon and Inara both were trying to determine if that was a good thing or not. "We did recently receive a new shipment," he finally said, his voice gravelly from years of smoking. "I'm sure we have something to fit your needs."

Simon's stomach turned as he realized the man was talking about people as if they were those annoying wobbly-headed geisha dolls Mal was so fond of smuggling. Keeping his face a placid mask of nonchalance, he glanced to Inara as she spoke. "We're really hoping for a family."

Frowning mightily, Chen sat forward, not at all enamored with the idea of compassionate buyers. "Yeah, why is that again?"

Squeezing Inara's hand as a sign of solidarity, Simon explained, "Well, I've heard that children are good, cheap labor." The statement made him violently ill, but he resisted the urge to vomit. "The main crop is cotton and it's much easier for little fingers to pick. We can't move out there for at least a year. We've already hired a foreman – well, forewoman, to oversee things. You've spoken with her, Zelda," Simon prompted, waiting for a nod from the other man before continuing. "But, if we're buying children, well, it'd probably be best if we brought their parents along as well."

"Huh." Chen leaned back in his chair, his slightly Asian features brought into stark relief in the dim light. Narrowing his eyes to slits, he studied Inara, Simon and Jayne with intense scrutiny. Jayne had no problem returning the look – he was fairly used to people trying to intimidate him. Inara didn't really mind it either, in her line of work, hiding emotions was a given. Simon, on the other hand, felt decidedly uncomfortable and the only thing that kept him from flinching was the thought of Kaylee's distressed face; failure was not an option.

"Well now, look," Chen drawled slowly, again sitting forward and cradling his drink. "We might have somethin' for you, but well, my boss, he's gonna have to meet ya. 'Specially if we're gonna be sellin' that much merchandise to one buyer."

Trying to determine if this development was good or bad, Simon said, "Of course. It's understandable. We'd like Zelda to come along as well, if you don't mind. She has a better eye for this sort of thing," he added, silently relieved when Chen nodded his assent.

"Uh, sir," Jayne growled, leaning forward to put his lips by Simon's ear. "You and the missus are gonna be late for the theater."

Smiling his apology, Simon nodded as he turned back to Chen. "Are we done here or did you need more from us?" Glancing to Inara, he smiled and added, "Elena has been dying to see this show."

Throwing back the rest of his drink, Chen slapped the glass down on the table and rose, Simon and Inara following suit. Sticking out a hand, Simon shook it as Chen told him, "Nah, I think we're good. I'll be contacting Zelda in the next day or two so we can set up the meet." Tipping his head to Inara deferentially, he intoned, "Ma'am." Looking again to Simon, he added, "Sir. Pleasure to meet ya."

Simon and Inara smiled politely, while Jayne continued to glower, the three of them waiting to move until Chen had exited the establishment. Heading for the door, Simon went to get their coats, helping Inara shrug hers on, before donning his own. As Jayne opened the door for them, alert to any possible danger, Inara took Simon's arm.

"Well, I think it went well," she said softly, looking to the nervous doctor from the corner of her eye.

Nodding once, Simon told her, "I hope so. Something tells me Harris might be a harder sell."

Turning to head back towards the ship, Jayne stepped into their path, arms over his broad chest. "Where ya think you're goin'?"

Exchanging puzzled glances, Simon and Inara looked back to the big man and it was Simon who answered. "Back to the ship."

"No, ya ain't," Jayne said in a huff. How was it possible for someone so gorram smart to be so ruttin' stupid? "You tol' Chen you was goin' to the theater. So you're gonna have to go."

Sighing heavily, Simon realized the merc had a point. But he hated the idea of attending a show and having fun, even pretend fun, when he knew how high the stakes were. "I don't think-"

"No, he's right," Inara said softly, squeezing Simon's arm gently. "If Chen and Harris do as much homework as we've been led to believe, we don't have any room for error." As Simon sighed again, Inara smiled softly. "It's only a play. We'll be in and out in two hours, tops."

Nodding once, he turned them around, Jayne falling into step behind them. "Well, then, let's go to the theater."

xoxoxoxo

"Miss Kaylee! Miss Kaylee!"

It was almost impossible not to smile at the sound of a child who was so happy to see her. Kaylee felt the corners of her mouth turning up just slightly as she knelt down and opened her arms, feeling the warmth and love of Asher as he flew into them.

Holding him tightly, she whispered, "Hey there, lil' man. How are you?"

"I'm shiny," he told her, pulling back and grinning madly. He had quickly adopted Kaylee's favorite saying after only her first month of volunteering and it always made her giggle. "You okay? Miss Inara said you wasn't feelin' good."

Exchanging a puzzled glance with Mal who had insisted on accompanying her, Kaylee looked back to Asher and asked, "Miss Inara? Who's that?"

"Ain't she your friend?" Asher questioned, small fists on his hips as his eyes narrowed in confusion. "She said she was. She has really long, curly black hair. She's real pretty."

Glancing again to Mal who could only shrug, Kaylee tried to process this news as Asher finally noticed the intimacy between the two and decided to question it. "Who's he?" he asked, none too gently, getting a startled smile from Kaylee.

As she turned her green eyes back to him, Asher leaned forward and dropped his voice to a loud whisper, "An' where's Doctor Simon?"

Suppressing a shudder of concern at the exact whereabouts of her new husband, Kaylee took Asher's hands in her own and then quickly hoisted him into her arms. Straightening so he was now at relatively the same height as Mal, Kaylee introduced the two. "Asher, this is Captain Reynolds. Cap'n, this is Asher."

"How ya doin' young man?" Mal asked, smiling wide and sticking out a hand for the boy to shake.

Suddenly becoming very shy, he pulled away and asked again, "Where's Doctor Simon?"

"Doctor Simon had to take a little trip," Mal said, saving Kaylee the uncomfortableness of thinking up an excuse. "But he'll be back soon."

Screwing his face up, it was obvious to the adults that Asher was trying to determine if this was an acceptable explanation. Finally, he nodded once and said, "Okay." Throwing his small arms around Kaylee's neck, he hugged her tight and repeated, "I did miss you, Miss Kaylee."

"I missed you too, sweetie." Guiding the three of them over to a couch, Kaylee set Asher down first, helping Mal into a chair. Asher watched wide-eyed as Mal eased his large form into a sitting position. Crawling along the couch until he was as close to Mal as possible, he asked breathlessly, "What happened?"

Smiling wide at the boy's curiosity, Mal told him proudly, "I got shot."

His eyes widened even further, going as big as saucers. Sharing a disbelieving look with Kaylee who nodded in confirmation, Asher looked back to Mal and breathed, "Wow."

This elicited two small chuckles from the adults and soon Asher was laughing with them as well. As the young boy started playing an "I Spy" game with Kaylee, Mal felt his curiosity take over. "Hey, Ash?" he asked quietly, waiting for the kid to turn and look at him. "Did you like Miss 'Nara?"

Smiling wide again, he nodded eagerly. "Oh yeah. She was real nice, she read us stories and she did all the voices."

Grinning, Mal caught Kaylee's bemused expression out of the corner of his eye as he asked, "She did, huh?"

"Yup. She ain't been here for a couple o' days though. She okay?"

Wishing Mal had an answer to that very question, he said, "You bet, buddy. I care 'bout Miss Inara like Doctor Simon cares about Miss Kaylee. I'll take good care of her."

Nodding once, this seemed to appease the young boy and he looked back to Kaylee. Still full of wide-eyed innocence, he blurted, "So, are you gonna take me home today?"

Kaylee's hand froze from where it had been running gently through Asher's hair. Feeling her heart beat sharply against her rib cage, she swallowed hard and asked, "What, sweetie?"

Turning to fully face her, Asher crawled into her lap and explained, "The other day, when you was here. I said I wished you were my ma an' you said you did too. So, you're gonna be, right?"

The room was spinning and Kaylee found herself fighting to take deep breaths to keep things in focus. Glancing hurriedly to Mal, she bolted to her feet and sprinted out of the room, finding the nearest bathroom. Shutting and locking the door, she sank to her knees before the toilet and threw up. Panting and sweaty, she thought of Asher's words and the hope on his sweet face and felt a heavy knot of guilt settle in her stomach.

Rising slowly, she fought the urge to vomit again, instead choosing to splash cold water on her face. It wasn't fair to scare the boy like that and she knew he deserved an explanation – of course, what he really deserved was a good home with loving parents. How she could have been so foolish to even hint that those parents might be her and Simon? It was just ridiculously unfair and hurtful. No matter what she was going through, there was no excuse.

Taking a few deep breaths, she dried her face and washed her hands, before slowly returning back to the room. Asher was in Mal's lap now, obviously distraught, his small face stained with tears.

"You all right, mei mei?" Mal asked softly as Kaylee moved back to sit on the couch.

Giving him a weak smile, Kaylee addressed Asher. "Sweetie, will you come here?"

"You lied, din't ya?" the boy hiccupped, burying his face in Mal's shoulder. "You don't wanna be my ma."

Blinking back unexpected tears, Kaylee reached out and ran her fingers through his hair as Mal continued to rub the little guy's back. "No, sweetie, it weren't a lie, but Doctor Simon an' I … we ain't … well, we talked a lot about it an' we're just not gonna have any kids right now."

This was news to Mal if the shocked look on his face was any indication. Ignoring it, Kaylee continued. "An' I'm sorry I hurt ya so bad. But I know you're gonna find a real shiny ma an' pa real soon. An' you're gonna live in a nice house an' maybe even have brothers an' sisters."

"Like you an' the Cap'n?" Asher asked, turning his gaze back to Kaylee, and wiping at his watery eyes with small fists. As the adults shared a puzzled look, Asher explained, "He called you mei mei."

Realizing again in the span of just five minutes how literal kids were, Kaylee smiled and explained. "No, sweetie, me an' the cap'n – well, he ain't really my brother."

"Yeah, lil' one, she's just kinda like a lil' sister to me. That's why I call her that." Mal tried to explain, wondering how anyone had ever resisted the little tyke's face before – he was decidedly cute.

Looking between the two adults, Asher seemed to make a decision. "So, maybe until I get a ma-ma for real, I can call you that?" he asked hopefully, looking back to Kaylee.

Hesitating, she hated to dash his hopes again, but she knew it was better to do it now rather than later when they were both already in too deep. "I don't know, sweetie, I think maybe it'd be best if you just called me Miss Kaylee. All right?"

Sighing heavily, Asher slumped back against Mal's chest. "All right."

"I got an idea," Mal told him, nudging his side with his hand and getting the boy to turn and face him. "Why don't you go get me one o' them stories Miss Inara was readin' an' I'll read it to ya?"

His eyes brightening instantly, Asher climbed off his lap and asked, "Will you do the voices too?"

Hiding the grimace that immediately sprang to mind, Mal smiled instead. "You bet."

Pratically sprinting out of the room, Kaylee waited until the boy was out of earshot before turning back to Mal. "Thank you," she told him sincerely.

Reaching out a hand to her, he clasped hers tightly and said, "I'm sorry, mei mei."

"Ain't nothin' to be sorry for, Cap. Wasn't your big mouth that crushed a lil' boy's hopes."

Her voice was so dejected, Mal cringed at the sound. He had hoped that having Kaylee get out of the house and visit the children would do her some good. Now, he was regretting the suggestion. "He understands, Kaylee. Don' you fret. Lil' boys are highly resilient."

Smiling slightly at his proud tone, Kaylee asked, "Speakin' from experience, are ya?"

"Maybehaps," Mal responded, grinning from ear to ear. Another thought striking him, he asked, "By the way, did you know 'Nara was volunteerin' here?"

Shaking her head once, Kaylee told him, "Nope. She never said a peep to me. But I ain't seen her much in the past few weeks."

"You ain't, huh?" That was it – Mal was officially worried. It wasn't like Inara to keep things from Kaylee, and to not even make an effort to see her, especially when she had to have known how upset her best friend was … well, it did not bode well for whatever had been occupying Inara's time while he'd been off getting shot.

The sound of Asher returning with a gaggle of children in tow interrupted Mal's musings. With a smile, he took the book from the little boy and waited until his excited audience was seated before beginning to read.

xoxoxoxo


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

xoxoxoxo

Simon sat on the couch across from the infirmary, his expression blank as he gazed at the capture in his hand. He had already cycled through the dozen or so images contained on its memory chip and, deciding on his favorite, he had frozen the image to one in particular.

Inara found him like this, a bit despondent and forlorn and her heart ached for the younger man. Her own guilt was already eating away at her – she had been selfish in the past few weeks allowing her own problems to get in the way of Simon and Kaylee, two dear friends who obviously needed her. Secretly, Inara had been glad when Simon had devised this plan and determined she could be of use. At this point, she figured it was the least she could do.

Entering the room on her silent feet, she moved to Simon's side and sat down. Glancing over his shoulder, she caught sight of the image that had him mesmerized: Kaylee was front and center, a grin as big as the 'verse on her face, while surrounding her were at least twenty people, all with matching smiles and laughing eyes.

"She looks so happy here," Simon murmured wistfully after a time. Settling back into the couch, Inara turned her knees towards him and listened as he continued. "Look at that smile. She just can't contain her joy." Sighing heavily, Simon dropped the image into his lap and rubbed his hands over his face. "She doesn't deserve this."

Frowning slightly, Inara gingerly took the capture from his lap, thumbing through the images. There were more of the same people, all with Kaylee, and Inara recognized them for the family members they were. But there were a few, towards the end, of Kaylee with her new family – the crew – and just a couple with Simon.

Pausing the playback loop on a capture of Simon and Kaylee the night of their engagement party, Inara held it out for him to see. "She looks happy here too."

Dropping his hands into his lap, Simon focused his eyes on the image she'd selected and felt the smallest smile quirk his lips. Kaylee was indeed beaming, her arms wrapped tight around his waist while his were wrapped tight around her shoulders. They were both smiling and Simon's heart warmed with the memory, before again chilling with the harshness of their reality.

Taking the slim capture from her, he turned it off and placed it on the low table in front of them. "That was a long time ago," he said softly, his blue-eyed gaze fixed on his hands in his lap.

Resting a gentle hand to his knee, Inara chided, "Not so long ago." As Simon sighed once more, she continued. "I know you want to blame yourself for everything that's happened. I know it makes it easier."

As he flashed her a sharp-eyed gaze, Inara amended, "It's easier to be mad at someone, even yourself, than it is to be helpless. Trust me, Simon, I know." Her mind guiltily drifting to her dead child and her initial rage at the Guild for keeping the secret, Inara shook the thought loose and looked back to the young doctor. "But I also know that none of this is your fault. And you know that too."

Leaning forward, Simon rested his elbows on his knees and cupped his chin in his hands. He knew Inara was right. He also knew that being angry wasn't good for anyone and could, in the end, cloud his judgment when he needed it most. But that didn't stop him from wishing that things were different. Or from shuddering every time he recalled Kaylee's pained face as he had left her with the Butlers.

"I just want to keep her safe, Inara," Simon admitted softly, his eyes staring at a far off point. "Safe, happy and loved. That's all I've ever wanted."

"You do that, Simon," Inara assured, leaning forward and matching his pose. "You know you do. And you just have to trust that things are unfolding as they're meant to. You have to trust that you and Kaylee can survive this. She's strong."

Smiling softly, Simon told her, "I know."

"Then have faith, Simon." Inara's words were much firmer and more reassuring than she had anticipated and she decided to go with it. "In the end, it's all we really have."

He nodded once, but didn't comment more and Inara let the silence grow between them. Finally, she reached out and took the capture back. Rising, she held out a hand to him and said, "Zoe wants to see these. Are you ready?"

Glancing up to her, Simon took her hand and rose. "Ready."

xoxoxoxo

"Captain Reynolds?"

Turning in his chair, Mal quirked an eyebrow at the Butler's maid thereby signaling her to continue. "We received a message forwarded from your hotel. Would you like to view it in here?"

"Uh, sure, yeah." Puzzled as to who could possibly be looking for him at the hotel, he eased out of his seat and followed the young woman as she crossed the room and flipped on the wave screen. Pressing a few buttons, she stepped back and told him, "Just hit play when you're ready."

Mal thanked her quickly, waiting until she'd exited the room before playing the message. More than surprised by the face on the screen, he listened intently before returning the call.

xoxoxoxo

"So, now, let me get this straight."

Simon had to wonder how dense the man really was – he'd been trying to "get it straight" for the past thirty minutes and apparently, it still wasn't clicking. Hiding his discomfort and his annoyance behind a cultured mask of nonchalance he'd perfected as a member of Osirian high society, he took another sip of his tea and waited.

"You want eighteen folk, give or take, to work this new ranch o' yours?" Harris was hunched forward, his elbows on the small round table. The man was not particularly attractive and Simon figured that had something to do with his line of work. Judging by the jagged scars that ran down one cheek and under his chin, he had to guess Harris had been involved in quite a few brawls – he was currently inspiring some violent tendencies in Simon. "An' you wan' 'em to be a family?"

"Is that possible, Mr. Harris?" Inara asked smoothly, resting a hand on Harris' arm and smiling beautifully.

Returning her smile with a lewd one of his own, Harris told her, "Well, now, it might be, but I don't know I got any families for you to take a look at. Y'all might jus' have to make due with a bunch o' strangers." He laughed, a bitter, barking sound that Simon was certain should belong to an animal, not a man. "But fer the right price, anybody can be related."

Smiling tightly, Simon said, "Yes, well, we'd like our forewoman, Zelda, to hand select our merchandise." Motioning Zoe forward, Simon waited until her imposing shadow fell across the table before asking, "Will that be all right, Mr. Harris?"

He'd already run an appreciative eye up and down Zoe's magnificent form, yet he did it again and Simon had the distinct impression that the first mate was using every shred of self-control not to pummel the man. Clucking his tongue in an approving manner, Harris sat back in his seat and drawled, "Well, I 'spose that'd be fine. But we are gonna have to talk 'bout the price."

Shooting Inara a hasty look, Simon sat forward. "What about it?"

"Well, I'm thinkin' for eighteen folk, especially some young 'uns who could fetch me a fair price with some other, less reputable folks than yourselves, we're gonna need to re-negotiate." Harris grinned again, showing off his top row of yellowed teeth.

"Mister Harris, I think five hundred thousand platinum is plenty for-"

"Well now, boy, I'm thinkin' you best not be talkin' 'bout what you don't understand. Otherwise, we might needs to walk away for good." Harris' hand had fallen casually to the side where his fingertips now brushed over the butt of his gun. Jayne had caught the move and tightened his grip on the side arm just under his coat. His patience had flown out the window almost as soon as they'd entered the room.

"Well, that would be a shame," Inara interjected, moving her hand to rest against Simon's arm and bringing his eyes to her face. "You did come so highly recommended."

"How much more money are we talking?" Simon asked, again turning his gaze to their seedy contact.

Planting his tongue in his cheek, Harris tipped back in his chair, studying the ceiling intently, before turning his gaze to Chen. The other man leaned down so Harris could whisper noisily, but incoherently in his ear. Their overblown ruse was not lost on the crewmen and Simon, Inara, Zoe and Jayne did their best to stay still and expressionless as the men finally determined a suitable price.

"One million platinum," Harris announced, smiling wide. "That should do it."

"One million?" Simon breathed, his eyes wide. He'd already hated this man before he'd stepped into the room. But for someone to so willingly and easily extort the lives of others – it was unconscionable. "You have got to be kidding."

"It should be more," Harris countered, his eyes narrowing to slits. "But I'm givin' you a discount on account o' the fact you're buyin' in bulk."

Rising, Simon bit out, "You stupid son of a-"

"Sir."

"Thomas."

Jayne's and Inara's admonitions reached him and Simon sat down heavily, realizing how stupid of a move that had been. Still seething, he shot the despicable man across from him a heated look, but held his tongue from any further outburst.

Eyes narrowing, Harris studied Simon for a moment longer before throwing his head back and letting out a harsher, longer bark of a laugh than he had previously. "Well, boy, I had to admit – wasn't sure if there was a back bone under all them pretty fits." Glancing to Chen, he muttered, "Will wonders never cease."

Swallowing hard, Simon sat forward and kept an edge to his voice as he said, "Yes, well now that we've developed some – respect – for each other, how about we stop ruttin' around?"

Quirking an eyebrow, Harris questioned, "How?"

Sitting back, Simon told him, "Zelda picks the merchandise we want. After we've determined they're physically as capable as you say, we can further discuss cost."

Frowning, Harris rubbed his chin, his face adopting a look of fake contemplation. "I don't know. I can't be doin' business with folk who can't appreciate the high-quality goods I'm sellin'. O' course could be, you jus' don't got the funds."

"We have the money," Simon insisted, rolling his eyes even as Inara gripped his forearm lightly. "That's not the issue. The issue is being overcharged by a worthless piece of gou shi-"

"Sir, I think we've made our point," Zoe intoned from his side, a firm, iron grip clamping around his shoulder.

Biting his tongue, Simon snapped his mouth shut, allowing his accusatory stare to finish the statement. Harris' face was burning red and Simon could see the tension in Chen's shoulders. The other man was reaching for a gun, that much was obvious; of course, the barely imperceptible growl from Jayne's throat had stilled the movement.

"Mister Harris, please, I hope we can still do business." Inara's diplomatic tone and sickeningly sweet smile charmed the man and he nodded reluctantly.

"Well o' course, miss. It's easy for things to get a mite heated when we're talkin' 'bout such figures." Rising, he extended a hand towards Simon, which the younger man shook. "I'll be in touch with Zelda here so she can come by an' take a gander. We'll renegotiate after the fact."

Nodding stiffly, Simon offered Inara his arm which the woman took gratefully and turned to leave, Jayne and Zoe flanking them as they exited the small hovel of an establishment. Once the door had closed behind them, Harris turned to Chen with a wide, lascivious grin on his gnarled features.

"What's that for?" Chen asked petulantly, disliking these buyers more and more.

"We're gonna be rich," Harris told him gaily, flopping back in his seat with a sigh. "It's always a good day when you're workin' with suckers."

xoxoxoxo

Rafe wandered into the Butler's kitchen, pleased to find the room empty. He was unaccustomed to being surrounded by such wealth, even though he knew the Butlers were considered middle class by Sihnon's inflated standards. Still, while he was woefully aware of his rough ways and less than stellar manners when in their company, he was also growing used to the silk sheets and fine food. He would definitely miss the luxury once they were again sailing through the back.

Of course, he'd be with River again and that made any sacrifice more than worthwhile. He really hated the fact that she was out there without him, risking her life, placing herself in harm's way in an effort to save the day. Rafe knew she was more than capable of caring for herself – in actuality she was more than capable of protecting them all, but he loved her – completely. And that love inspired a loyalty and protectiveness deep in his gut. One that drove him to wish for the ability to build a high tower where he could lock her away, put her out of the long-armed reach of dragons and the Alliance and all her other demons. But he couldn't. So Rafe would just have to settle for loving her, holding her when her nightmares got to be too much and laughing with her when joy filled her heart. It was enough.

Walking to the Butler's large and always stocked refrigerator, he pulled it open, peering in to determine what exactly he wanted to snack on. The first few days all of the crew, even Kaylee, had been hesitant to just go in and take what they wanted, but after Evelyn had overheard Rafe telling Mal about how hungry he was, their hostess had insisted they help themselves anytime, day or night. When Mal had offered to repay her, she'd simply waved her hand and smiled big. And while Rafe might have been modest, his stomach was not that shy.

Rooting around for something, he stopped abruptly as he heard the sound of a whispered curse and the clank of tools on tile. Shutting the door, he peered around the island in the middle of the kitchen to find Kaylee sitting on the floor, the Butler's toaster in her lap and a myriad of tools spread in a semi-circle around her. Smiling softly at the sight, Rafe leaned onto the counter and teased, "Whatcha ya doin'?"

Jumping slightly at the unexpected voice, Kaylee turned a sheepish grin to him as she explained, "It's been burnin' the toast." As he sagely nodded his agreement, Kaylee set back to work, trading out one screwdriver for another. "Plus, I gotta do somethin' to keep my hands busy."

Reaching for an apple from the heaping bowl before him, Rafe took a healthy bite from it and rounded the counter, sitting beside her cross-legged. "Want some help?" he asked around the juicy fruit, wiping his mouth along his sleeve.

Shaking her head once, Kaylee told him, "Nah, I got it."

Rafe watched her in silence for a few minutes, noting the sure way she disassembled and examined each piece of offending machinery. He'd known based on the shape Serenity'd been in when he signed on how talented she must have been. But seeing her work firsthand, even on something as benign as a toaster, was a sight to behold.

"Do ya miss it?"

"Miss what?" she asked absentmindedly, her deft fingers working to clean a particularly encrusted bit.

"Mechanickin'," Rafe clarified, taking another bite of the deliciously good apple. "You know, Serenity?"

Pausing in her work, Kaylee stared at her hands, now covered with grime and took a deep breath. Cocking her head to the side, she regarded her replacement with a thoughtful expression. "Thems are two totally different questions."

Reaching at her side for a dish rag, Kaylee began cleaning her hands as she explained. "Fixin' stuff, it's what I've done since I was a lil' girl. My pa, he-" Her breath caught in her throat as Kaylee remembered her father, his dancing brown eyes and deep, belly laugh. She prayed she'd get to hear it again. Swallowing past the small polyp of fear, she continued. "Well, he always said I had a gift an' I 'spose he was right. But I got other gifts in my life now." Glancing back to her left hand, she took extra care to clean the residue from her ring finger, making her wedding band and engagement ring sparkle. "I got Simon an' he an' I – we're tryin' to make it work."

"Is it?" Rafe asked. He had no idea what had made him so bold. He would never, under normal circumstances pry, but he was acutely aware of his similarity to the young woman before him – besides both being gifted with machines, they were also both in love with someone who came from a completely different world. "Is it workin'?"

Sighing, Kaylee leaned back against the cabinet and regarded him with a small grin. "Most days, yeah, it is. We been real lucky, meetin' the Butlers an' their girls. They're really nice folk. An' Simon, he's so happy to be practicin' medicine in a hospital again." Her smile deepening, her mind found a recent memory and she couldn't help the light that lit up her eyes. "He came home, 'bout a month ago, so gorram excited, you'da thought he was a kid on Christmas mornin'. In a rush, he started tellin' me all about how he reattached this guy's hand an' it looked like he'd still have a full range of motion. He was so happy," Kaylee sighed wistfully. "Seein' 'im like that, it means the world to me."

Rafe studied her for a moment, recognizing as she smiled again and chuckled softly at some other memory why Simon was so head over heels in love with her. She was a remarkable woman and her smile could light up any room. "But are you happy?" he asked again, stressing the 'you,' and causing Kaylee's eyes to snap to his face.

Shrugging, she nodded absently, her smile dropping a bit as she answered. "Yeah, I guess. It's been better since I been able to volunteer at the Orphanage. All them lil' ones, they're so cute," she sighed. "O' course the first few months after y'all left, I couldn't do much o' anythin'. I was still real tired an' recoverin'.

"I ain't gonna tell ya there aren't days when I ain't bored," she confided. "But this is a new life, for me an' Simon both. An' we promised each other we'd give it a try." Pulling her gaze from the far-off point it had fixated on, she looked to him and said firmly, "An' Simon does make me the happiest I have ever been in my life. I'd live on the edge of a volcano with that man, jus' so's long as I got to be with him."

"Somethin' tells me such a sacrifice won't be necessary," Rafe kidded, delighting when Kaylee laughed at his joke. Sobering slightly, he added, "But if it's any consolation, I know how you feel."

Quirking an inquisitive eyebrow in his direction, Kaylee asked, "Oh? Really?" As Rafe nodded hesitantly, she prompted, "You an' River, huh?"

"I love her, Kaylee," Rafe blurted, surprising himself with the outburst. "I mean, I _love her_ love her. Like, I can't get enough o' her." As Kaylee's grin deepened, Rafe felt his courage bolstered and he forged ahead. "But her an' me, we are so different, an' I don't know if … Well, I'm thinkin' that eventually she's gonna realize I ain't enough. Not for someone as special as her."

Frowning, Kaylee sat forward on her knees, reaching for Rafe's hand and squeezing it firmly in her own. Holding his gaze with her steely eyes, she told him, "Now, you listen to me, Rafe. I've known River for goin' on two years now, an' I knew her back when she was well an' truly crazy. That girl, she's got as big a heart as her brother. An' the fact that she's decided to share it with you …" Pausing, Kaylee considered the way River lit up anytime Rafe was even within earshot. She remembered fondly the few waves her sister-in-law had sent in the past months, detailing every step of her burgeoning relationship with Serenity's new mechanic. In truth, Kaylee had never seen River happier.

"She's smart," Kaylee continued, glad that Rafe's attention was riveted to her words. "That ain't no secret, but let me tell you a lil' somethin' about the Tams: they love with their whole hearts, minds an' souls. An' I know River is in love with you. That won't change unless you do somethin' to change it."

"She's right."

Startled, both young people sprung to their feet, Rafe holding out a hand to Kaylee as a courtesy. Smiling softly at him, she turned and felt her heart wedge itself into her throat as she regarded their visitor. Glancing to her in confusion, Rafe was about to ask who he was, when Kaylee greeted him. "Mister Tam. It's nice to see ya 'gain."

Smiling, Gabriel Tam stepped forward, reaching Kaylee and pressing a light kiss to her cheek. "Call me Gabriel, Kaylee, please." Looking to Rafe, Gabriel allowed ice blue eyes to run up and down the man's tall frame before extending his hand and introducing myself. "I am Gabriel Tam, River's father."

Swallowing thickly, Rafe shook the man's hand, praying his palms weren't too sweaty. "Mister Tam, sir, it's an honor. River's told me lots about you."

Smiling softly, Gabriel intoned quietly, "No, she hasn't. But it's nice of you to say so."

"Well, I'm Rafe. Serenity's new mechanic." The younger man was now shifting his weight from one foot to the next, trying desperately not to let his nervousness show and failing miserably. "Me an' River, we're ah … well-"

"They're sweeties," Kaylee interjected, placing a light hand on Rafe's arm to still his anxious movement. "River's crazy 'bout him," she confided, leaning her head towards Gabriel and lowering her voice to a loud whisper.

"So I gathered," Gabriel countered, matching her tone. "And apparently, you're very taken with her as well," he added, watching bemusedly as Rafe's eyebrows shot up into his hairline. "Judging from what bit of your conversation I heard."

"Ah, yeah, well … We were …"

Kaylee rolled her eyes affectionately, taking Gabriel's arm and leading him over to a nearby chair. The boy could be worse than Simon on his worst day. "Can I get ya somethin', Mister Tam? I gotta admit I wasn't expectin' to see you."

Waving away her hospitality, Gabriel waited until she was seated before joining her. "I'm sorry to have just barged in, but I wanted to let you know that I heard from Simon. He looked very well."

Gripping the older man's hand tightly in her own, Kaylee asked breathlessly, "Is everythin' okay? What happened?"

Patting her hand reassuringly, Gabriel wished fleetingly that he'd asked Regan to come along as well. She was much better at dealing with these emotions than he was. "He just stated that they need some more money. He waved to ask me to see it found its way to his account."

Releasing a small sigh, Kaylee sat back in her chair, willing her heart rate to return to normal. "Well, that's good then. Means they made contact with the right folk, I 'spose?"

"Yes, I think we should take it as an encouraging sign." Gabriel squeezed her hand briefly in his own before releasing it, glad to see a bit of color return to the younger woman's face. She had certainly been through more than her fair share. "And how are you, dear? I'd heard you've been having a rough go of it."

Blushing, Kaylee shook her head once and tried to smile past the obvious pain and guilt she was feeling. "Oh, I'm shiny, Gabriel. Jus' be real happy when Simon an' the rest of 'em get back."

"That's what we all want, dear," he agreed, giving her another small smile. Turning to regard Rafe, the young man still standing uncomfortably off to the side, he asked, "Isn't it?"

Clearing his throat loudly, Rafe answered, "Oh yeah, definitely. Everybody back, safe an' sound."

Sharing a knowing look with their guest, Kaylee smiled again. "Rafe's a good guy, Gabriel," she added, nodding once to reinforce her point. "You should give him a chance."

Nodding eagerly in agreement, Rafe agreed. "Yes, please. A chance would be great." Sobering, he took a step towards the elder man and added, "I do really care for your daughter, sir."

Smiling wide, Gabriel rose and clapped a hand to the man's shoulder. "That's all I ask son. She's been through too much, survived too much for any foolishness. Just love her as best as you're able and you'll be doing far better by her than her mother or I ever did."

Brows knitting in confusion, Rafe darted a glance to Kaylee who shook her head 'no' imperceptibly. Getting the hint, Rafe looked back to Gabriel and simply said, "Please know I do – love her that is. An' I hope we get to know each other better once all o' this is over."

Nodding thoughtfully, Gabriel did not agree or disagree with the sentiment, simply held Rafe's gaze in his for another minute. Finally, as if breaking a spell, the older man stepped away and said, "Well, I should really be going. I just wanted to come by and let you know I'd heard from them." Looking over his shoulder to Kaylee, he reminded her, "If you need anything, anything at all, please-"

"Don't worry," she interrupted gently, rising to place a light peck to his cheek. "I won't be shy."

Returning her smile, Gabriel gave Rafe a nod of goodbye before exiting the room. Staring off after the perplexing man, Rafe waited a full minute, before turning back to face his friend. "Um, what was that all about?"

Frowning softly, Kaylee pursed her lips, trying to determine what she should tell him. It wasn't the shortest story in history. Although at this point, they seemed to have an abundance of time.

Threading her arm through his, Kaylee directed him back towards the fridge. "How 'bout you make me lunch an' I tell you all about it?"

xoxoxoxo


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

xoxoxoxo

Zoe surveyed the room before her with an impassable expression. She'd already steeled herself during the twenty minute ride to the holding cell for the scene she'd be witness to. She knew it would not be pleasant, it would probably smell and the sight would more violently turn her stomach than the idea. She'd been right on all counts.

Jayne tensed beside her, his hand automatically reaching at his waist to clutch his non-existent sidearm. He had one on him, but it was hidden beneath the suit jacket Simon and Inara had insisted he wear to keep up appearances. Pressing his lips into a thin white line, he caught Zoe's gaze from the corner of his eye and gave her an almost imperceptible nod.

"You Zelda?" A man's gruff voice intruded on their silent conversation and Zoe turned towards the speaker. His age was impossible to ascertain, his skin lined with a myriad of wrinkles that had more than likely been caused by smoke, sunlight and exposure to a variety of other harsh elements, including violence. He was balding, what was left of his brownish hair cut close to his head and his eyes were beady, barely more than slits, making it futile to try and guess at a color.

Nodding, Zoe told him, "Yeah. I've been sent by my boss, Mister Wu. You got some folks for me to look at?"

The other man hobbled towards them, favoring his right leg. Both Zoe and Jayne made note of the weakness – it might come in handy later. With a tip of his chin, he motioned to two other men, both armed, standing on opposite sides of the room. They disappeared through a door at the back, returning a few moments later with about thirty slaves. The prisoners were ushered into this small holding area all looking frightened. Children, ranging in age from five to twelve clung to nearby adults, only peeking out to look at the strangers from behind someone else.

The man, Ralphie – he'd introduced himself while the slaves had been fetched, motioned Zoe and Jayne forward. "Well, go on then," he intoned impatiently, hiking himself onto a tall stool by the entrance.

Zoe and Jayne moved forward, Zoe heading to one end of the line and Jayne the other. She'd already scanned their faces and thought she recognized at least a half a dozen from the captures Kaylee had let them borrow. Acting as nonchalant as possible, she sauntered down the line, pausing occasionally to run her discerning gaze up and down a particular person. Finally, she stopped in front of a younger man, probably a few years older than Simon. Crossing her arms over her chest, Zoe demanded gruffly, "What's yer name, boy?"

Straightening, a flash of defiance and pride went through the man's green eyes as he answered, "Martin Frye."

Knowing she'd correctly identified at least one person, Zoe asked, "An' how old are ya?"

"Twenty-nine." Martin, Marty if Zoe remembered correctly, fixed his shoulders, snapping to attention almost like a soldier. Fighting the wry smile that threatened to cross her face, she nodded once and jerked her head back to the opposite wall. "Go stand o'er there."

"No." The pitiful cry came from Marty's right side and Zoe turned her steely gaze to the woman. She was older and if the Amazon woman was forced to guess, Kaylee's mother.

"What was that?" Zoe questioned taking a step forward and staring the woman down menacingly.

Inserting himself between Zoe and his mother, Marty's eyes burned with anger. "Get away from her."

Moving with a speed she had honed over the years, Zoe's hand was up and around Marty's neck in seconds. Squeezing only hard enough to get his attention, she pushed him back into the nearest wall and held him there, meeting his gaze. The others shrunk away in fear, Marty's mother's eyes filling with more tears as she clasped a hand over her mouth to hold in her sobs.

Bringing her face to within inches of his, Zoe whispered only loud enough for the man to hear, "You got a sister?"

Eyes widening, Marty nodded, trying to swallow and finding it nearly impossible with Zoe's hand still pressuring his windpipe. Loosening her grip just a touch, Zoe added, "Kaylee sent us. Play it cool, dong ma?"

Nodding again, Marty let out a heavy sigh of relief as Zoe released him. "I said, git over there," she shouted, giving him a healthy shove towards the opposite wall. Looking back to Mrs. Frye, Zoe pursed her lips in annoyance and told her, "You might as well go with 'im."

More than relieved, Ellie Frye hurried to her oldest son's side. Marty immediately wrapped his arms around her, the older and smaller woman shaking in his grasp. Zoe turned quickly from the scene to continue her perusal. On the other end of the line Jayne had already pulled out four people, and was interrogating a fifth. Zoe quickened her pace, wondering when exactly Chen, Harris and Ralphie's good nature might run out. It seemed they were being awfully accommodating, especially in light of Simon's outburst at the meeting a few days ago.

Stepping further down the line, Zoe spotted three more of the Fryes and sent them across the room to stand with Marty and Kaylee's mother. Meeting Jayne in the middle, she leaned her head towards him and whispered, "I only got five."

"I only got six." Jayne gazed over her shoulder, his blue eyes taking in the frightened family members. "Din't they say they're supposed to be more like twenty?"

Nodding once, Zoe turned back to Ralphie and told him, "We need more options."

Frowning, the limping man rose from his seat and moved towards them. "The hell you do." Gesturing to the twenty or so people standing behind them, he added, "They's all in fine workin' condition. Plenty o' folk for you to choose from."

"My employer has very high standards," she insisted, stepping closer. "As do I. We'll need to see more."

Muttering under his breath, Ralphie swept his beady-eyed gaze from Zoe to Jayne and back again. He was liking these two less and less as the minutes ticked by. But having no authority to end the transaction and guessing what Harris would do if he did, the lackey simply nodded begrudgingly. Glancing to the two guards, he ordered, "Bring in some more."

"Hey lady, how long ya gonna keep us here?"

Hiding her surprise behind a carefully constructed mask, Zoe turned to regard Marty, the man who had called out to her. Striding across the room in three large steps, she punched him across the jaw, causing him to fall to his knees. As the others scattered away, she knelt beside him and fisted her hand in his hair, yanking his face to hers. "What the hell are you playin' at?" she hissed, her voice again only loud enough for the two of them.

"My father," he panted, rubbing his jaw. Pausing, he spit out a wad of blood-laced phlegm before finishing. "He din't make it. I din't want you lookin' for 'im."

Closing her eyes briefly and saying a prayer for the man's soul, and Kaylee's, she nodded once, before jerking the boy back to his feet and shoving him roughly into the nearest wall. "Keep your mouth shut," she warned, sparing a blazing glance to the rest of the Fryes before making her way to Jayne.

Another batch of prisoners had been brought in for them and without a word spoken between them, Zoe and Jayne went about the business of finding the rest of Kaylee's missing family.

xoxoxoxo

Mal shifted uncomfortably on the Serra's doorstep. His memories of his last visit were not pleasant and he hated being here now, especially without Inara. Of course, Inara was also the reason he was here, so he supposed he could shoulder a little discomfort and condescension – for her sake.

A butler ushered him into the large foyer and he stood in silence, waiting. The servant had offered to take his coat, but like a kid's security blanket, Mal had refused to give up the supple brown leather jacket. Thrusting his hands into the pockets, he was gazing at a particularly large art piece when Liliana Serra greeted him.

"Captain Reynolds?"

Turning, Mal returned her smile with a guarded one of his own. Taking the hand she offered him and shaking it gently, he nodded. "Yes, ma'am. But please, call me Mal. There ain't no need for a lady like yourself to be so formal with a scoundrel like me."

Her smile deepening at his easy-going and charming demeanor, Lili confessed, "Every time I see you it becomes more apparent to me why Inara is so in love." As Mal blushed, she gestured behind her and said, "Please, come in and join me for a drink. And call me Lili. Ma'am makes me feel old."

Mal nodded and then followed as she'd asked. Entering the sitting room he remembered well, he took a seat on a sofa and allowed Lili to fix him a drink of scotch and soda. "Mister Serra couldn't join us?" he questioned as his hostess gave him his glass and then took a seat across from him.

Frowning slightly, Lili told him, "No, unfortunately not. Edward's been traveling a lot for business lately."

Taking a sip of his drink, Mal enjoyed the rich taste before settling himself more comfortably into the couch cushions. Gazing across to Lili he could tell she was hesitant to broach the topic they were both dancing around and so Mal supposed he would let her off the hook. "I have to say, I was a mite surprised to get your message."

Averting her eyes, Lili toyed with the fabric of her dress as she asked, "How is Inara?"

Pausing, Mal swallowed back his automatic answer, choosing instead to say, "Guarded, I guess, would be the way to put it. Somethin' is botherin' her, but we weren't able to talk about it before she left."

"Left?" Looking to him with concern, Lili asked hurriedly, "Where did she go and why aren't you with her?"

Frowning, Mal pushed back his own discomfort at the situation. "Well, I was injured, Lili, on our last job. An' what Inara's doin' now – well, I wouldn't o' been much help to them anyways. Zoe, Jayne and River are all with her, an' so is Simon. She'll be fine."

"So, it's not dangerous then?" Lili pressed, her eyes still exceedingly large for her delicate features.

Clearing his throat, Mal shifted. "Well, ma'am, I wouldn't say that necessarily. But she's safe." Pausing, he fixed her with a stalwart gaze and added, "You know I would never put Inara in harm's way. Not on purpose. She's more important to me than anythin' or anybody."

Releasing a sigh, Lili sat back in her seat, a bit of color returning to her cheeks. "I know that, Malcolm, truly. And while Edward and I were absolutely awful to you last time you were here, I want you to know-" Pausing, Lili seemed to consider something, and when she again began to speak, she had locked her eyes on Mal's face, her gaze radiating sincerity. "Both Edward and I, we're thrilled that Inara has someone like you in her life. Someone who so obviously loves and cares for her. In the end, that's all a parent can ask for their child. Happiness and love."

Nodding once, he took another sip of his drink, letting the statement hang between them for an extra minute. "Well, thank you, Lili. I'm glad you an' Mister Serra can recognize how much I love your daughter." As Lili smiled demurely, Mal added, "Which o' course leads me to the whole reason I'm here. What's goin' on with her?"

Her discomfort once again obvious, Lili Serra rose and began pacing the room, her hands clenched in front of her. "Honestly, Mal, after I called you, I realized it wasn't my place, but-"

"But now I'm here, so you might as well tell me," he intoned quietly. He didn't mean for it to sound like a threat, but he wanted the woman to know that sending him away with nothing was not an option.

Smiling sadly, she nodded once and then turned to face him. "It has to do with her child."

Closing his eyes, Mal muttered a curse under his breath. Downing the rest of his drink in one gulp, he rose and paced across the room, fixing himself another, forgoing manners. He was going to need to be good and buzzed for this conversation.

Puzzled by his outburst, Lili watched as he poured himself a stiff drink and commented, "I wasn't quite expecting that kind of reaction."

"No?" he snorted, turning and leaning against the sidebar to regard her. "An' what were you expectin'? Concern? Tears?"

Bristling at his tone, she answered sharply, "A little concern wouldn't kill you. You have to know how hard this has been for Inara."

"O' course I do," Mal all but shouted. Taking a deep breath, he realized instantly how inappropriate he was being and tried to apologize. "I am very sorry, Lili. I din't mean to yell." Pausing, he took a thoughtful sip of his drink and then explained, "The truth is, me an' Inara been goin' round an' round 'bout her daughter. She's been wantin' to get to know her an' I don't think-"

"She didn't have a girl," Lili told him, interrupting quietly. As Mal turned those steely blue eyes to her, confusion written all over his chiseled features, Lili took a deep breath and told him, "Inara's baby wasn't a girl. She had a boy."

"Wo de ma," Mal murmured, sinking heavily against the counter. Trying to understand what this new information could mean and how he should handle it, Mal found he was only growing more and more confused. Crossing the room to resume his seat, he chugged down the rest of his drink and then glanced to Lili. "I think you best start at the beginnin'."

xoxoxoxo

Simon could not sleep. He wasn't all that surprised. He had grown accustomed to falling asleep in Kaylee's arms over the past year and her absence effected him, physically and emotionally, more than he'd ever thought possible. He'd briefly toyed with the idea of taking a sedative, but he knew it would only make him moody.

So instead, he was wandering the ship. Simon had a hard time believing it had only been six months since he'd last lived on board the firefly. It felt like a lifetime ago. With a smile, he surveyed the infirmary, the room well-stocked, but sorely underused since he'd left. Supposing that was a blessing, he headed for the galley, wondering if some tea might do the trick and calm his nerves.

Zoe and Jayne had said that they'd found of all Kaylee's family, save her father. The knowledge that he'd have to break the news of her father's death to his wife did not sit well with him, and Simon suspected it was another reason why he was awake. She'd already been through so much, he did not relish the idea of seeing her in any more pain. But regardless, Simon would be the one to tell her, he would be the one to hold her when she broke down and he would stay beside her no matter what. Besides the inherent responsibility in the marriage vows they'd pledged, Simon had long ago resolved to never abandon her.

"You're a good husband."

Startled, he whirled on the sound of the voice, squinting into the shadows of the room to find his sister. Of course, she'd be awake. She seemed to sleep less than anyone. Making out her slim, pale frame folded into one of the large easy chairs to the side of the galley, Simon moved towards her with a small smile. "You know," he stated simply, sitting on the small table before River. This close he could make out her features, her big eyes and drawn face and he worried that maybe something besides the normal jitters of the mission were keeping her awake.

Frowning at him softly, River sighed. "Of course, I know, you boob. You can't keep secrets from me." Reaching for his left hand, she took it in her own, her fingers gently ghosting over the wedding band that now sat on his ring finger. "Besides this was a pretty clear indication."

Smiling softly, Simon whispered, "No one else has seemed to notice."

"A bit preoccupied," she explained, squeezing his fingers gently before dropping his hand. Sitting back in the chair, she shivered and wrapped one of Mal's old army blankets around her more tightly. "Captain Daddy isn't going to be happy." As Simon's eyes snapped to her face in alarm, she smiled wide and told him, "Wanted to be there. Wanted to threaten you one last time. 'Don't hurt my mei mei' and all that."

Sighing, Simon pivoted into the chair beside her, and tipped his head back against the wall. "I would have thought he'd know by now that Kaylee means everything to me. I won't hurt her, I can't."

Patting his arm reassuringly, River told him, "He does. But he still has to say it. It's his job."

"I suppose." Simon let silence build between them. It had been quite a while since he and his sister had simply sat together. He'd missed it – missed her.

Looking to her, he asked, "I was going to make some tea. Do you want some?"

Nodding once, River watched him rise and work. He flipped on the small stove light in the galley and in the buttery glow she could make out his sure movements. It didn't really matter what Simon was doing or why, he always moved about with the same confidence. It was a skill River had envied for years.

In minutes he was back beside her, offering her a steaming mug which she accepted gratefully. Sipping their tea in silence, it seemed neither sibling was at all interested in talking, but Simon felt a bit of guilt creeping along his spine. He knew things between his sister and Rafe were getting more complicated, and while she was an adult, he still had a responsibility to watch after her.

"River," he said softly, letting another sip of the warm liquid make a trail to his belly. "How are things?"

Frowning softly, she hid the look behind her mug. "How do you mean, Simon?"

Returning her frown, Simon turned to look at her. "You know what I mean, mei mei. You and Rafe? How are things?"

She shrugged. "Fine." 

Simon highly doubted that were the case. "River, you know you can tell me anything."

"Not going to talk to you about my sex life, Simon." _Or lack thereof_. She took a moment to look at him, delighting in the way his face blanched at her words. Giggling, she nudged his knee with her foot and murmured, "You're still such an easy mark."

Sputtering, Simon settled for drinking his tea, doing his best to knock the image of his baby sister and Rafe having sex out of his head. "Well, I'm glad actually, because I don't want to know." Pausing, he took a deep breath, and then said, "But I do want to know how you are. Love is pretty scary and-"

"And I'm not normal," River finished for him. With a sigh, she leaned over and placed her cup down, rearranging the blanket about her small form as she settled back in her seat.

"Mei mei, that's not what I meant." Simon was horrified, worried he'd hurt her feelings. Placing his cup down, he reached for her hands, clasping them through the blanket. "You know I would never imply-"

"It's okay, Simon," she sighed quietly. Lifting big brown eyes to his face, she admitted, "It's been hard."

His expression softening in an instant, Simon brushed some of her hair behind her ear and prompted, "Tell me."

"Rafe is wonderful," she began, wanting to make it clear to her big brother that her intended beau was not the problem. "He really cares for me, Simon. Loves me even. I can feel it."

"Has he said it?" Simon questioned.

Smiling softly, River nodded. "Yes, he has. More than once." Locking her brown eyes on his blue, she added firmly, "And he means it."

Releasing a silent sigh, Simon murmured, "Good, that's good."

"I told him about Miranda." River was surprised that Simon's first reaction to this news wasn't a stern scolding. Simon didn't like to talk about Miranda or the events preceding it. He rarely liked to talk about those eight months, when she'd been crazy, at all.

"And?" Simon was amazed at how dry his throat suddenly was, despite the tea he'd just poured down it.

"And he understands." River sighed, resting her cheek to her shoulder. Eyes unfocused, she added softly, "But I don't."

Confused, Simon waited in silence, knowing by River's far-off look that she was trying to gather her thoughts. "I don't understand how to be the killer and a girl at the same time," she finally admitted, her harsh whisper grating along Simon's skin. "I don't think I can be both."

Raising wet brown eyes to his face, she swallowed hard and continued. "When I'm with Rafe, the rest of the world drops away, but the minute I try to feel more, try to concentrate on all I feel for him and him for me, it all comes rushing back. Miranda and Reavers and the Academy and … I don't want to kill anyone, Simon. Why did they make me?"

Her voice a strangled sob, River buried her face in her hands even as Simon leaned forward and wrapped her in his arms. Her small body shook mightily with her fear and confusion and Simon rocked her as he had so many times before, trying to ease her burden.

And trying to ignore the fact that he had no answer.

"Mother and father should be afraid of me," she said after a time, her voice still hoarse. "I am a killer."

His jaw tightening at her sad statement, Simon leaned back and again sat across from her on the low table. Reaching for her hands, she gave them to him, comforted by the warmth as he asked, "What did they say to you, mei mei?"

"Didn't have to say it, Simon," she reminded him quietly. "I can still hear it, even if the words are said in silence."

"When?"

"When we told them," she answered. "When we told them about the men I killed, the Reavers, Miranda. They wanted to believe they'd gotten their daughter back. They didn't know she'd be a killer."

"River, please." Simon's voice cracked a bit on the last word and he swallowed hard to push his despair away. Once again, his baby sister was looking to him with those big eyes that managed to bore a hole through his soul. She was so lost and all Simon wanted to do was protect her. But he couldn't, he knew that. He'd tried before and failed. "You only-"

"Did what they programmed me to do," she said softly, doing her best to shut out Simon's pain at her revelation. She loved her brother more than her own life and while River had not wanted to burden him with this, she couldn't keep it bottled up any longer – he was the only person who would understand. "Who's to say I won't do it again?"

"It's been over a year since Miranda," Simon reminded her, his voice firm. "And nothing like the Maidenhead or the Reavers has happened since. Right?"

Shaking her head once, River murmured, "No." Taking a deep breath, she lifted her eyes back to his face and added, "But maybe I just haven't seen the right trigger. Maybe they haven't been trying hard enough. Maybe I-"

Breaking off as her breath caught in her throat, River dropped her chin to her chest. Taking a deep shuddering breath, she leaned into Simon's chest as his strong arms enfolded her again. Gripping at the front of his shirt, she whispered, "I told Mal that I'd be his albatross. Told Rafe I had to choose." Taking another deep breath, she said, "But I don't want to choose loneliness and isolation, Simon. I want to feel, want to be warm and safe and not scared of my own abilities. I want you to fix me."

Squeezing his eyes closed against the pained sound of her voice, Simon rubbed soothing circles along her back. "River, you're not broken."

"Yes, I am." Her voice was stronger than only moments before and when she pulled away, she met his eyes with no hint of hesitation. "I'm not a woman, Simon, not normal. That's what's broken. I only work as a killer and a moonbrain. You have to take the killer away."

"Mei mei," he breathed, cupping her cheeks in his hands and staring intently into her eyes. "I don't know if I can. I tried, for a long time, remember?"

Nodding once, River tried to offer him a small smile of encouragement. "I know. But you can try again. You're the best doctor ever. I know you can fix me."

Despite River's ringing endorsement, Simon was not convinced. He had tried, for months, almost a full year, to repair what the Academy had so irrevocably broken. But no matter what drug combinations he'd tried or new techniques he'd discovered, nothing had come close to relieving the psychosis River suffered. It meant more than he could ever put into words that she still trusted him, but it also scared the living daylights out of him. Simon was not at all certain he was worthy of such unflagging faith.

"I will try, mei mei," he finally whispered, dropping a kiss into her hair, her head once again resting against his shoulder. "But I can't and I won't promise anything."

"It's okay, Simon, I know you can do it." She sounded so sure, so confident that Simon found himself unwilling and unable to disagree.

xoxoxoxo


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

xoxoxoxo

Inara awoke abruptly, any remnants of her nightmare evaporating into nothing as she did her best to gain her bearings. Blinking rapidly, she took a deep breath and let it out slowly: her shuttle, of course. Wrapping her blanket tighter about her body, Inara scooted up towards the head of her bed, resting her back against the headboard. Tipping her chin back, she took another deep breath.

She'd been dreaming about her son. Or, more accurately, a baby boy who she believed to be her son. He'd been crying and screaming and no one had gone to help him. And Inara, his mother, had been helpless, forced to stand on the sidelines, unable to comfort him, unable to even find him through the inky blackness that had surrounded her. She had been forced to listen to him scream.

Shivering slightly at the memory, she opened her eyes again and slowly swung her legs over the edge of the bed. Rising, she made her way across the shuttle, to the small bathroom. Splashing cold water on her face, she felt a bit better, but not much. Her nerves had been shot since they'd left Sihnon and she found her appetite almost non-existent. Of course, when she attempted to choke down food, she invariably saw it again when she threw it up a few hours later, but at least she was making the attempt. She was actually relieved that this whole business was almost done.

Inara wanted to help Kaylee and her family, but she also felt the strain of being separated from Mal for so long a time. She missed him, in a way she rarely had before. There was so much she'd discovered in the time he'd been gone, so much they hadn't talked about and Inara found it distancing to know she was carrying such burdensome secrets. Despite what Mal may accuse her of, she did want to share her life – her whole life – with him. They had spent so much time, in the early part of their relationship, hiding, from themselves and each other. Inara was through with it.

The buzz of her shuttle's comm startled her and Inara hurried to answer it. "Yes?"

"Inara, it's time." River's sure, clear voice rang through her room and Inara felt her lips press into a grim line.

"Of course. I'll be right there."

xoxoxoxo

Eli knocked once before entering the Captain's guest room. He had been trying to catch up with the younger man for the better part of a day to check on his healing knee, but had been unable to locate him.

Pushing open the door, the doctor smiled jovially at Mal, quickly noting the other's scowl at his intrusion. "You are an elusive man, Captain Reynolds," Eli chided easily, rounding the bed and coming to sit opposite Mal on the window seat he occupied. "I wanted to take a look at that leg."

With a grunt of acknowledgement, Mal rolled up his pant leg, grimacing as the movement caused him to bend it. As Eli pulled out a few instruments, he asked, "Any word on when I can ditch the cane?"

A pleasant smile still on his face, Eli answered, "Not as of yet. But I imagine with your stubbornness, it'll be any day now."

Mal snorted once, and then fell silent as the doctor poked, prodded and examined the inflamed skin. "It is coming along nicely, I must say." Looking up, he noted that Mal's gaze was locked out the window, studying the dusky horizon. Taking a chance, he commented, "We missed you earlier today, at lunch time."

Nothing. Eli turned back to his bag, bringing out fresh bandages to redress the wound. He had no place prying into the captain's personal affairs. If the man didn't want to share where he'd gone, then so be it.

"You ever felt your family was bein' threatened, doc?"

The man's question was so unexpected, Eli tensed at the words. Pausing in his work, he gazed thoughtfully at Mal's face, noting the tight lines of worry that crinkled at the corners of his eyes. His normally easy-going face was full of tension and Eli wondered just what kind of threat they were talking about.

Setting back to his work, he talked as he covered the wound. "I suppose, at one time or another, I've had the distinct impression something was adversely affecting my family." Pausing, he added, "Although, considering the kind of work you do, I doubt my family has ever come quite as close to being as physically threatened as yours."

Mal listened, but did not comment, preferring instead to let the doctor finish in silence. Eli was right, Mal knew that. He'd made enough shady contacts and bad decisions in the past decade to fill Serenity a few times over. Those scenarios he could handle. Mal knew who was responsible or not responsible for his crew's safety. It was the knowledge of what had happened to Inara and her newborn that now sat heavily upon him. It had all taken place literally a lifetime ago and yet Mal still felt a deep desire to knock somebody's head in.

"Yeah, that's true," he finally admitted. Clearing his throat, he looked back to Eli and asked, "But what happens when you find out somethin' you didn't know about? When it's not somethin' you can fix?"

Shrugging lightly, Eli considered for a second and then answered. "I guess you decide what's the most important. The desire for retribution or the continued safety of your family." Squeezing Mal on the shoulder as he stood to leave, Eli added, "Something tells me you already know the answer to that."

Mal gave the man a tight smile as he left the room, before letting out a heavy sigh. Of course he knew the answer. There was nothing to be done regarding Inara and her lost son, but Mal knew it had to be eating away at her. He could only imagine the pain Inara had felt at finding out such information. It angered him, of course, that she'd been so adamant as to not leave well enough alone. He'd told her something like this was bound to happen.

But right and wrong weren't so important now either. Since Lili had told him the news, Mal had done a lot of soul-searching and tossing and turning. If he'd had a child and been forced to give it up when he was younger, he'd move heaven and earth to find out all he could. Because that child would be part of him and that made him responsible. Just as he knew Inara felt responsible for her baby as well.

He'd also realized he was feeling a bit jealous, and while the revelation did not sit well with him, Mal was making the effort to be honest about it. The fact was, Inara had a connection to that child, and the child's father, beyond anything Mal could fathom. True, the baby might have been part of a former life, the life Inara had before she rented his shuttle and turned his life completely upside down, but that experience, with Jeremiah and the pregnancy, was still something she'd gone through, something that had shaped the woman she was – the woman he was in love with.

Mal wasn't so far gone to not realize that if it hadn't been for the kid's birth he never would have met Inara. But he also felt guilt for even entertaining the thought. Was it selfish to be glad Inara had been forced off Sihnon so that he could know her, love her? Mal wanted to believe it wasn't, but he had a nagging feeling in the back of his mind that maybe it was.

Tipping his head back against the wall, Mal let out a slow sigh. "Oh, you are one righteous hun dan, Malcolm Reynolds," he whispered to no one. "Better shape up for Inara figures it out."

Chuckling softly as his last statement registered, Mal wondered, "Who am I kiddin'? She already knows."

xoxoxoxo

River was perched precariously on the ledge of a tall building. She wasn't nervous about the height or the shakiness of her position – she was by far more worried for her brother and the rest of the crew. They had arrived at the exchange site more than four hours early, being sure to get River in place, and go over the plan one more time. But despite their meticulous planning and River's gifts, she was still worried. Too many things could go wrong.

In theory, an ambush should work, given that they had the element of surprise on their side. But Harris held sway over too many variables, least of which was the fact that he currently had possession of Kaylee's family. But River, Zoe or Jayne wouldn't have agreed to this if they didn't think there was a better than fifty percent chance of it working. River really wanted to be right about that.

They were all armed, which was also a positive. Even Simon and Inara carried concealed weapons under their finery. They had spent a pretty penny too on the metal alloy, recently developed by some of the best black market traders to make guns impervious to standard weapons scans. With some of the money her father had loaned them, Jayne had made the necessary contacts. The thin shellack on top of their guns affected the grips a bit, and the mercenary had whined about that most of the previous night. However, with one pointed look from Zoe, he'd stopped his bellyaching, choosing instead to forgo sleep in order to practice with the doctored guns.

River gripped the butt of her pistol firmly in her hand, pressing her other hand against the listening device in her ear. She'd told them she didn't need it – she could just as easily read their minds as listen to their conversations, but Zoe had insisted. The earpiece was a bit discomfiting, but once she'd found the right volume and frequency, the buzzing it had caused seemed to fade away and now she was left with the chatter of pre-meeting nervousness.

"_What time did he say?"_

"_He isn't late yet, Jayne. Hold yer horses."_

"_You realize that springin' fifteen people ain't easy."_

"_Really? I had no idea."_

River chuckled at the sound of her brother's exasperated tone. He was more nervous than anyone, but he was also exceptionally good at hiding it. It was a skill he'd acquired in the hospital and in the black. No one had any faith in a surgeon or a medic with shaky hands.

"_All that's important is we get everyone back in one piece."_

Inara's calm, cool tone soothed the remaining anxiety to a point of non-existence and with barely a grumble, Jayne settled back into his watching and waiting mode. Zoe joined him, the two of them guarding the entrance while Simon and Inara stood towards the center of the room.

Cocking her head to the side, River listened for a moment. In the silence between them there was something else she could make out now, a soft whisper or maybe a rasp. It had no emotion, good or bad, but it was present all the same. Furrowing her brow, River closed her eyes briefly, only snapping them open again as she heard the door across the room bang open.

Laying her pistol down on the ledge before her, River fitted herself securely in the small space between the wall and the sight of her mounted rifle. Lining Harris up in the crosshairs, she rested her finger to the trigger and waited.

xoxoxoxo

"You got my money, boy?"

Harris was even more charming when he was getting paid. Hiding the instant grimace he felt threatening to overwhelm his face, Simon nodded once and answered evenly, "Of course. Now where is my merchandise?"

"Right 'ere. Keep yer pants on." Waving with one hand, Harris took a few more steps towards Simon and Inara before pausing to watch as the fifteen hand-selected slaves were ushered into the room. Chen brought up the rear, with two other guards flanking the frightened group.

Simon picked out Kaylee's mother and older brother, Martin, as well as her two sister-in-laws and one of her nieces. Judging by the rest, he could tell they were all related and looked vaguely familiar. There was an older gentleman straggling towards the back who looked as though he might need medical attention, and a small child, no more than five who looked as though he might collapse at any moment. Other than that there seemed to be no serious injuries, except for the occasional scrape or bruise. Breathing a silent sigh of relief, Simon turned to Zoe and asked, "Is this everyone?"

Rounding the group, Zoe scanned them quickly, and then turned to Simon and nodded. "This is all of them."

"Well o' course it is," Harris commented with a snort. "I don't gip my customers." Wiggling his eyebrows at the bag at Simon's feet, he all but salivated as he said, "'Specially the well-paying kind."

River kept her eyes trained on the men below as she spoke into the mic attached to the top of her dress. "There are four more men outside. They're armed and alert." Her message carried through the comm to all of her crewmates below and she waited for Zoe's command.

Zoe glanced to Jayne and then back to Simon and Inara. All of them were tense, waiting for the word to draw their weapons or just back away. The odds weren't good and Zoe silently cursed them. She'd hoped a hun dan like Harris would only have four guys willing to work for him. It had been a gamble and they had lost. Two to one odds just weren't good enough.

Nodding to Simon, she told him, "We got what we came for."

Releasing a small sigh, River relaxed her trigger finger. They were going to walk. She could feel her brother's stomach rumble at the thought of actually paying for people, as if a price could be put on someone's head. But he would do anything for Kaylee – even if it meant being indebted to their father forever.

Hefting the large black duffel, Simon offered it to Harris as Jayne and Zoe corralled the Fryes behind them. "Here you go. One million – as we discussed."

Harris, his face almost split in half by a huge, shit-eating grin, froze in his tracks as Simon announced the amount. "One mil? I don't think so, friend," he spat, reaching for his weapon. "We agreed on five."

In the second it took Harris to draw his gun, Zoe, Jayne, Inara and Simon had also drawn theirs. River, her hand back on the trigger of her rifle, flipped on the scope, shining a tiny red dot on Chen's forehead.

"No, friend," Simon ground out, taking one more step forward, his gun arm never wavering. "We agreed on one. And one is what you'll get."

"You crossed the wrong man, son." Harris' eyes blazed even as he stooped to pick up the money, his eyes never leaving Simon's.

As his gnarled hands wrapped around the handles, Simon shrugged almost imperceptibly and answered, "Maybe, but you still took the bait."

And within a second the scene exploded. Simon reached for Inara as the flash bomb went off, shielding her body with his own as the explosion sent bits of paper stuffing high into the air. Kaylee's family, unprepared for the shock was huddled together, crouching behind the formidable barrier that Jayne and Zoe made. As the smoke cleared, the merc and first mate started ushering them towards the exit.

"River?" Zoe's strained voice called over the comm. "We need a clear path."

"Coming up," she reported, pulling the rifle off its mount and running along the roof's edge. Dropping to her belly, she again sighted Harris' men through the scope and fired a warning shot, just past the shoulder of one man, startling all four of them. As they ran for cover, Zoe and Jayne burst through the doors, weapons trained at the ready. The street and alley around this part of town were good and abandoned, one of the major reasons Harris had wanted to do the exchange here. There was no collateral damage and River was thankful for one less variable.

She watched through the lens as the Fryes all filed out, looking bewildered and dazed by all that had happened. She counted them silently, waiting until she reached fifteen before beginning to panic, looking for her brother. From this corner of the roof she could not see into the courtyard anymore. She did not have a visual read on him and as the seconds ticked by and he failed to make an appearance, River became more and more anxious.

"Zoe," she called, still tracking the four armed men as they fired random shots into the crowd. Jayne had already gunned down one, and Zoe was drawing a bead on the second. River fired at the third, and watched with smug satisfaction as the fourth retreated at a run. "Simon and Inara, where are they?" she asked, trying to keep her voice steady.

Cursing under her breath, the second told her, "We got this, lil' one. Go bail your brother out of trouble. We'll meet you back at the ship."

Without another word, River pushed herself to her feet and crouching low, unholstered her pistol from her side. Using every Academy-implanted talent she had, River edged her way back towards the meeting site, muttering a silent prayer to the Shepherd in the process.

xoxoxoxo

Simon's face was buried in Inara's hair as he heard the flash bomb detonate behind them. Wrapping his arms tightly about her shoulders, he ducked her head as much as possible. There was a very minimal risk of injury with this particular weapon, but he had no desire to explain to Mal why his girlfriend was injured once they returned to Sihnon.

Counting to five after the detonation, Simon turned back, steadying Inara while keeping her behind him. "Are you all right?" he called over his shoulder, coughing a bit as the smoke assaulted his eyes.

"Yes, I'm fine," she assured, waving a hand in front of her face to clear the stinging. "Let's go."

Agreeing wholeheartedly with that tactic, Simon took her hand, his gun still clutched in the other, and followed the blurry forms of Zoe, Jayne and the Fryes as they made their way out of the small courtyard. Sprinting across the space, Simon froze as Chen's voice reached his ears. "Freeze, Mister Wu or your wife is dead."

Turning slowly, Simon kept his face impassive as he caught sight of the other man's firearm trained squarely on Inara. Gripping her hand a bit tighter in his own, he eased her behind him, saying, "Your quarrel is with me, Chen. Leave her out of this."

"My quarrel's with the both o' ya," Chen threatened, advancing on the couple. His face was bright red from the blast, no doubt a bit of a burn as he had been pretty close to the epicenter. Harris, lying about ten feet away, was still unconscious. The other two guards were apparently too dazed to do anything, but moan on the ground. Waving with his gun, he ordered, "Move away from the door."

"We can work something out," Simon told him, keeping his voice steady. "Let us go back to our ship and we'll wire you some money." Lowering his voice, he added conspiratorially, "Harris doesn't have to know."

"You think I'd turn on my employer," the man hissed, all the while getting closer as he spoke. "You prissy boys, you ain't got no loyalty, no manners. At least we got a code."

"Honor among thieves," Simon murmured, glancing over his shoulder to Inara in the process. The woman was pressed up close against him and as Simon cocked an eyebrow at her, he felt the unmistakable poke of a gun in his back. Nodding slightly, he looked back to Chen, shifting his weight to the right and away from the end of Inara's pistol. "Fine, a little bribe money for you both then. But you're not getting that five million." On the last word, Simon lunged to his right, giving Inara enough of a window to get off a shot. Her bullet struck true, hitting Chen just below his adam's apple, and causing the man to sputter and gasp as he hit the dirt.

Inara and Simon both fell to their sides as another shot rang out. Glancing up quickly, he watched as the other two guards were quickly dispatched. Frowning, he gazed up towards his sister's hideout, before he heard her voice in his ear. "Found you," she whispered, drawing a smile to Simon's face.

"Yes, you did, mei mei." Inara was slowly rising into a sitting position behind him and Simon turned to help her, ordering River back to the ship. As he reached for Inara's hand, he winced, letting out a small hiss of pain.

"Simon?" Inara asked hurriedly, rising to her knees, her eyes scanning his pained form for the source of his discomfort. "What-" In an instant, she saw the bright red patch of blood soaking his upper left sleeve. Slapping his hand over it, she helped him to his feet as she said, "Keep pressure on it. We'll get you patched up once we're back on the ship."

Nodding, Simon grimaced again, his hand pressing on the wound doing nothing to alleviate the pain although it was helping to stymie the blood loss. Leaning on Inara a bit more than he wanted to, he glanced to her as they hurriedly left the area. "You know, the more jobs I do with you the more I can see that you and Mal are made for each other."

Giving him her own tight grin, Inara told him, "Believe me, I know."

xoxoxoxo

Kaylee heard the knock on her bedroom door and she wanted to ignore it. She'd been having the best dream – Simon was there and there were strawberries and a beach and sunshine …

Sighing as the knocking became more persistent, Kaylee rose slowly, reaching for her robe. "Hang on," she called, wiping sleep from her tired eyes. This was the first full night's rest she'd gotten in weeks. So exhausted was she that Kaylee didn't even realize until she opened the door to find the captain standing there that someone might have news of her family – and Simon.

"Captain?" she asked breathlessly, his presence jolting her back into reality and far from her dream state. "What is it? Is it Simon?"

Smiling wide, Mal reached for Kaylee and pulled her into a tight bear hug. "They found 'em, mei mei. They're comin' home."

xoxoxoxo


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

xoxoxoxo

River had them up in the black almost the minute Inara and Simon stepped on board. Grateful for the relative safety of the ship, both of them hobbled towards the infirmary, where Zoe was already waiting, River having radioed ahead to warn the woman her skills would be needed.

Waving off her attention, Simon simply prepped himself a pain killer and instructed her to wrap his arm to stop the blood flow. He needed to see to Kaylee's family first, he explained, ignoring the rolled eyes and annoyed looks Inara and Zoe shared with one another. They could disapprove all they wanted, he was still a doctor, and caring for others before himself was all part of the code.

"Where are they?" he questioned as Zoe finished wrapping his upper arm. The bullet had passed through, thankfully, and not hit a major artery on the way. He would be fine, just sore.

Nodding towards the upper deck, she told him, "In the galley. Jayne's tryin' to scrounge up some food for 'em."

"Good," Simon said as he reached for his med kit. Flipping open the case to make sure it was well stocked, he added, "From my first glance, I'd say more than half are suffering from some type of malnutrition. A few of the others looked as though they might have caught some kind of virus."

"A virus?" Inara asked quickly, sharing a concerned look with Zoe as the two women followed him out of the med bay. "Do you think it's contagious?"

"As a rule, no," Simon informed them, walking wearily up the stairs. "But once I've taken some blood, I'll be able to determine precisely what it is. If I need to innoc the crew, I will." Turning, he smiled softly before squeezing Inara's elbow, "Don't worry."

She returned his smile and then glanced over his shoulder as the family came into view. The room was eerily quiet, only the soft whimper of a young child and Jayne, banging away on pots and pans breaking the silence. As Inara's gaze roamed over them, she noted their disheveled state and said, "I'm going to see what extra clothes I can find. They'll need to change."

Nodding his assent, Simon entered the galley fully, slightly taken aback as Ellie Frye launched herself into his arms. "Simon," she breathed, hugging him fiercely. Holding her tightly, Simon could feel her entire body shaking and he felt another wave of relief wash over him – thank God they'd found them.

"I can't believe you did all this," she murmured, raising big green eyes, almost identical to Kaylee's, to gaze at him. "We can't never thank you."

"We're family now," Simon reminded her, removing her arms from his waist and squeezing her hands gently. "No thanks is necessary. Besides, Kaylee is beside herself. She'll be so glad you're all safe."

Dropping her teary eyes to the floor, Ellie murmured, "Not all o' us. Jimmy din't make it."

"I know," Simon told her, again reaching out to embrace her. "I'm so sorry about your husband."

"His heart couldn't take it, ma." A young man rose and Simon recognized him as Marty, one of Kaylee's brothers.

"I'm sorry I never got to meet him in person," Simon acknowledged, swallowing hard past the lump in his throat. Glancing back down to Ellie, he repeated, "You were very brave to have survived something like this."

"We're goin' to see Kaylee, right?" Ellie lifted her face back to gaze at Simon, the smallest glimmer of hope evident in the corners of her green eyes.

"Yes, we are," he assured, stepping away as Marty enveloped his mother in a hug. Raising his voice, Simon addressed the room. "My name is Doctor Simon Tam. Many of you probably know I am Kaylee's fiancé." A small murmur of recognition went around the room as Simon continued. "This is Zoe Washburn, our first mate, and the man cooking for you is Jayne Cobb." Jayne waved as did Zoe and then Simon continued. "My sister, River, is piloting, and Inara-"

"Here," she called out, reentering the galley with her arms full of clothes. "I found some things on the shuttle. And some of Mal's things as well." As Simon nodded to her, she addressed the room. "You're all welcome to try something on."

"And I'll show you to the showers soon as y'all get somethin' in your bellies," Zoe interjected.

"But first, I'm going to need to examine you." Simon caught sight of the small boy he'd noticed before. The child was resting against a woman's shoulder, more than likely his mother as she cried silent tears. Hurrying across the room, he knelt beside them, immediately feeling for a fever. "How long has he been like this?" he questioned.

Zoe and Inara watched Simon work. Both women had seen him do his job before – far too often, truth be told, but it was always a marvel to see the young man, often uncertain in far less stressful situations work with such ease in a scenario as charged as this one.

"You did a good thing today, 'Nara," Zoe told her softly.

Startled, the younger woman met the Amazon's gaze. "So did you." Waiting a second, she asked, "Did you wave Mal?"

Nodding, Zoe answered, "Yup. It was the middle o' the night, but he was happier than a pig in mud."

Giggling outright at the image Zoe's statement conjured, Inara told her, "Oh, thank you. I needed a laugh."

"Any time." Zoe again surveyed the room, her eyes roving over every form until they finally came to rest on Inara. Frowning slightly, she asked, "You all right there, 'Nara? You're lookin' a might pale."

Pressing a hand to her cheeks, Inara felt the clamminess of her skin and frowned. "Am I? Too much excitement, I guess."

Not at all convinced that's what it was, Zoe suggested, "Why don't you go take a rest? I'll send Simon up to the shuttle soon as he's done here."

Shaking her head once, Inara stopped the motion immediately as it made the room swim. "No," she panted, reaching out a hand to steady herself. "There's too much to do."

"You ain't gonna do anybody any good if'n you faint," Zoe scolded, taking her by the elbow and turning her towards the door. "'Sides, if I bring ya back all sickly, Mal's likely to kill me." As Inara opened her mouth to protest, Zoe silenced her easily. "There ain't nothin' going on here we can't handle."

Deciding not to press the issue, Inara nodded slightly. "All right, I suppose a rest would be a good thing." Heading to the shuttle on unsteady legs, she told the first mate, "If you need anything-"

"We won't," Zoe assured, watching until Inara was out of sight. Turning back to the room at large, she saw that Jayne was getting ready to dish up the noodles. Rolling up her sleeves, she headed over to help him.

xoxoxoxo

"Mister Tam."

Gabriel was more than surprised at the caller, but hid it well as he answered, "Doctor Butler. Is everything all right?"

Smiling slightly, the older man answered, "Yes, actually, everything seems to be very well." Clearing his throat, he continued. "I wanted to let you know that Serenity has returned. They've found Kaylee's family."

Glancing to the side of the screen, Gabriel met Regan's tear-filled gaze with a reserved nod. "That is wonderful news," he told the man. The edges of his mouth curling up into the closest thing to a smile he could manage, he added, "Thank you for telling us."

"I also wanted you to know," Eli interjected, preventing Gabriel from shutting down the wave. "That Simon was quite the hero. It was his plan, his nerve that enabled the crew to locate and rescue the Fryes. You should be quite proud of him."

Refusing to bristle at the implied insult, Gabriel said stiffly, "Absolutely. Regan and I have always been proud of Simon."

Biting his tongue in an effort not to say something he'd regret, Eli merely nodded. "Yes, well … They'll be landing in about five hours and will be heading directly for the hospital. I thought you might want to know, in case you wanted to see your children."

"The hospital?" Regan came into view now, her tear-stained cheeks accentuating her fear-filled eyes. "Are they all right?"

"It appears Simon was shot in the rescue attempt and a few of the Fryes need medical attention. But he's going to be fine," Eli was quick to add, noting the paleness of Mrs. Tam's features. "Truly. It was barely more than a graze."

Reaching for his wife's hand, Gabriel squeezed it tightly. "Thank you Doctor Butler. We'll see you at the hospital a bit later then."

Nodding once in acknowledgement, Eli flipped off the screen sinking back in the chair with a heavy sigh. Smiling softly as Evelyn's hands began to massage the tense muscles in his shoulders, his grin grew wider as she told him, "I'm very proud of you. That was a nice thing you did."

"For Gabriel or for Simon?" Eli groaned, tipping his head back to look up into his wife's beautiful eyes.

Giving him a playful frown, she answered, "Both of them, I think. Although Simon may not see it that way to begin with."

Reaching for one of her hands, Eli kissed it softly. "Well, I certainly don't want to blindside the boy, but … Well, isn't it bad enough that the man missed out on his only son's wedding? Maybe if the Tams are there when the children arrive-"

"It'll make it easier for them to accept one another?" Evelyn finished the thought for him, as she so often did.

Sighing, Eli craned his neck to again look at her. "Crazy, isn't it?"

Tugging him up onto his feet and into a hug, Evelyn teased, "Not crazy." As Eli sighed with relief, she added, "Delusional maybe, but not crazy."

Chuckling, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her lips, more than grateful that the Tams' problems were not his own.

xoxoxoxo

Kaylee wasn't sure she could come to grips with all she was feeling. Hope, joy, happiness, love, anxiety, nervousness, grief … there were just so many emotions swirling through her heart, mind and soul she feared she might faint from the overload.

Doing her best to keep herself together, she glued her big green eyes to the hospital's emergency landing pad, watching with baited breath as each ambulance landed, spilling its passengers onto the decking. So far, four craft had arrived since she, Mal and Rafe had been waiting and none of them had contained her family.

She felt Mal's warm, calloused hand close over one of her own and Kaylee let out a soft sigh at the touch. Stilling her nervous bouncing on the balls of her feet, she gazed up at him, meeting his grin with one of her own. "They're comin' home, Cap," she told him softly, leaning her head against his shoulder and sighing contentedly. "Our family's comin' home."

Pressing a kiss into her soft hair, Mal murmured, "I know, mei mei. They sure are."

They stayed like that until the next ambulance arrived and Kaylee's head popped back up. Dropping the Captain's hand, she leaned forward, pressing her face to the glass – she knew this one had to be them, she just knew it. In that intuitive way that a mother can pick out her child's cry among a sea of babies or a twin can pick up on their sibling's distress. She knew it – in her gut.

Trapping her lower lip between her teeth, she held her breath as the ramp lowered and felt tears pool in her eyes as first her brother, Marty and then her mama became visible. Bolting from the Mal's side, she bounded through the sliding doors, out onto the landing pad and into her mother's waiting arms.

"Mama!" Her voice carried over the loud rumble of the shuttle's engines and Ellie Frye had never heard a sweeter sound. Squeezing her mother tightly, Kaylee buried her face in her shoulder and murmured over and over again, "I love you, mama. I love you so much."

Ellie's voice failed her as she held her baby in a tight embrace. The relief she felt was tempered by the knowledge that she'd have to break the news of her father's death to the joyful young woman. Marty had joined their hug now and he wrapped strong arms around both women, holding them tightly. Other family members, including Kaylee's other brothers Michael and Henry and her sister-in-laws, Annemarie and Talia, stopped with their children to hug the young woman quickly, until they were ushered inside by a slightly annoyed, but generally understanding group of hospital staff.

With one arm around her mother's waist and another around Marty's, Kaylee moved inside, guiding her mother and brother to the nearby waiting room, while the others were sent to exam rooms, needing to be looked at by the nurses and doctors. Ellie and Marty were relatively unscathed, except for some malnutrition and sleep deprivation.

Kaylee took a step back as Mal greeted both Eleanor and Martin Frye. Wrapping her arms around herself, she waited to sit with her mother. At the feel of warm, strong arms around her waist, Kaylee turned to be greeted by Simon's smiling face and she began to cry all over again.

Throwing her arms around him, Kaylee barely noticed him wince as she squeezed his injured shoulder just a bit too tightly. "Oh, Simon," she whispered, pressing kisses to his cheeks, his forehead, his eyes, and finally his lips in a flurry of relief and need. "I'm so glad you're back. I missed you."

"I missed you too, bao bei," he whispered, returning her kisses with some of his own, before he hugged her to him once again. "I love you, Kaylee Tam."

Blinking back fresh tears, she told him, "I love you, Simon Tam." Leaning back, she met his blue-eyed gaze, noting the tears of relief that had welled there. Cupping his face in her hands, she pressed her lips to his, pouring all the love she had for him into the kiss. Winding her arms around his neck, Kaylee sighed into his mouth as Simon's arm wrapped tightly about her waist and pulled her flush to his warm body.

The kiss lasted for endless moments, the pair only breaking apart when Kaylee's hands, running along Simon's shoulders and down his arms glanced over his wound and caused him to back away, hissing in pain.

"Oh sweetie," she exclaimed, a hand flying to her mouth as her eyes widened with concern. "What'd I do? What happened?"

Shaking the pain away, Simon gave her a small, tight smile. "It's nothing, Kaylee. I got hurt while we were getting your family to safety."

"It ain't nothin', doc," Marty chided from across the room where he sat at his mother's side. "Your fiancé there took a bullet," he told his sister proudly, giving Simon a wink.

Turning back to him, Kaylee launched herself into his embrace all over again, peppering his face with a million kisses. "I love you, I love you," she kept repeating.

Simon simply held her tightly, returning her kisses when he could, but also more than content to revel in the feel of her in his arms.

As she finally released a heavy sigh, her forehead burying against his good shoulder, Simon kept a strong arm about her waist. "I'm right here, Kaylee," he assured, pressing a kiss to her temple. "I'm not going anywhere. Dong ma?"

She nodded, but did not untangle herself from his embrace for a few more minutes. Finally, she brought her tear-filled eyes up to meet his and whispered, "Thank you."

"Anything for you, bao bei," he whispered back, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

Holding his hand at her waist, Kaylee turned and headed back towards her family, a smile on her face as big as the sun. Taking one more step forward, she stopped abruptly, her gaze shifting between her mother, brothers and sister-in-laws who had also joined them in the room. Finally allowing her eyes to rest on her mother, she asked, "Where's daddy?"

xoxoxoxo

Mal watched Kaylee race out the doors and towards the shuttle, more than happy to see her smiling again. He recognized Ellie and Marty Frye as the two hugged her. The crew had had occasion to visit Kaylee's family from time to time in the three years she'd been on board and Mal gazed at them now with a fondness akin to love. The Frye family had given him his sunshine, his Kaylee, and he would always be grateful to them for that.

Looking to his left, he smirked slightly at Rafe's tense form. The boy had practically been jumping out of his skin at the prospect of seeing River again, and now as the shuttle emptied, only to lift away again, his face fell.

"Don't worry, son," Mal told him, clapping a strong hand to his shoulder. "She'll be on the next."

"What-" Rafe didn't have time to finish the sentence as another ambulance appeared almost instantly. Rafe moved past him quickly, stopping quickly to say hello to Kaylee and her mother and brother, before charging out towards the newest vehicle.

Mal turned his attention to Ellie and Marty Frye, hugging the petite woman and shaking the younger man's hand. After a few assurances that everything would be all right and no thanks was necessary, Mal eased his way past them, smiling softly at the sight of Kaylee all but attacking the good doctor with kisses. Having a mind to do that same thing his own self, Mal stepped through the doors looking for Inara.

She was impossible to miss. The shiny fabric of her dress shone iridescent in the bright lights of Sihnon's night, causing her to glow with an ephemeral quality. Her hair was loose, hanging in soft curls down past her shoulders and Mal had the overwhelming urge to run his fingers through it. Moving with a singular purpose – to get her in his arms and never let her go – Mal made his way through the small crowd easily. He greeted Zoe with the slightest of nods, knowing she would understand his desire not to stop and chat.

Inara's walk was weary, her steps a bit slower than he liked to see, but his relief at simply knowing she was back overshadowed any of that concern. She caught Mal's gaze and smiled in the understated way he had come to recognize as relief. Reaching her in two more steps, Mal's hands cupped her cheeks, his lips pressing against hers with a passion they had both been missing in the past few months.

Sighing into his touch, Inara leaned against him, her hands resting on his broad chest, fingers gently clutching the soft, familiar fabric of his shirt. Parting for air, Mal rested his forehead against hers, running his hands down her neck and over her shoulders until his arm were wrapped completely around her back, holding her tightly to him. Inara rested her cheek against his shoulder, sighing again with content, her own arms snaking their way around his waist.

"I missed you," he murmured into her soft hair, burying his nose into the curls and breathing deep. "You all right?"

"Shiny," she murmured, unwilling to move from her comfortable position. "How's your leg?"

"Jus' fine, darlin'," Mal assured. A breeze blew past them, causing Inara's dress to whip about her legs, and almost unconsciously, she snuggled tighter against his chest. She had already weaved her arms underneath his coat and he pulled the edges around her, wrapping her in a cocoon of himself and brown leather.

"I'm going to fall asleep if you make me any more comfortable," she told him, reluctantly lifting her head to meet his blue-eyed gaze. The tenderness she saw in his eyes made her knees wobbly and Inara sighed into his touch as he ran the backs of his fingers down her cheek.

"Well, we can't have that," he whispered, dropping his lips to hers once again. They were as soft and pliant as he remembered, and Mal teased her lower lip first, knowing that was what she liked, one hand traveling along her jaw and into her hair as he worried her bottom lip between his teeth before sliding his tongue into the warm abyss of her mouth.

Inara's tongue met his, the heat of their mouths and the passion of the kiss sending small currents of electricity through her body. Ai ya, she'd missed him. Using all the self-control he possessed, Mal finally pulled away, and told her, "C'mon, 'Nara. Time to go home."

"Don't you want to stay? Make sure everyone's all right?"

Mal kept his arm around her shoulders, tucking her close to his side as they made their way into the hospital. "I think the doc an' Kaylee got it all straightened out." Glancing to her out of the corner of his eye, he added, "'Sides, you're lookin' a mite tired, darlin'. I'm a bit worried you might fall asleep standing up."

Wishing she could deny her exhaustion, Inara simply nodded. "It is a distinct possibility."

Entering the hospital, Inara glimpsed Kaylee, her face buried against Simon's shoulder as her brothers, sister-in-laws and Mother all huddled around the couple in a giant hug. Swallowing past the sudden lump in her throat, Inara turned to Mal, stopping his movement with a hand to his chest. Gazing down at her, his questioning gaze prompted her to explain.

"Mal, there's something you should know first, before we go." Inara spared one more furtive glance to the scene in the room beyond and then swallowed hard. Looking back to Mal, she closed her eyes briefly as the movement caused her head to swim. Rocking a bit on her feet, Mal noticed and grabbed her upper arms to steady her. "'Nara, darlin' you all right?"

Nodding once, she opened her eyes and got the distinct impression that the room was moving, like a twisted carnival game. Clutching at Mal's arms desperately, she whimpered, "Mal?" before blackness over took her vision.

As Inara slumped forward in his embrace, Mal felt his heart rate skyrocket. "I need some help over here," he yelled, not caring if it was the appropriate thing to do.

As two nurses rushed to his aid, Mal swung Inara's limp form up and into his arms, following them hurriedly as they motioned him to an empty exam room. Zoe and Jayne, having heard the commotion, came running getting only a glimpse of their captain's panicked expression before he disappeared behind the door.

xoxoxoxo

River had sat beside Simon the whole ride from Serenity to the hospital. She could feel the turmoil in his mind – his unbridled happiness at seeing Kaylee mixed with the harsh reality of having to tell her about the death of her father. Holding his hand firmly in her own, River was just trying to offer as much comfort as she could. After all they had been through together it was the least she could do.

With the tiniest of bumps, the craft landed and Zoe, Jayne and Inara moved for the door. River helped Simon to his feet. His shoulder was not bad, but he had lost a bit more blood than was generally acceptable and he was tired – fatigued – they all were. River had been dreaming of a nice big, fluffy bed and hours of uninterrupted rest. And a certain ship's mechanic.

Squeezing her hand gently as they reached the door, Simon got her attention and said, "It's all right, mei mei. I'm fine."

Holding her hand to his cheek, she told him, "And Kaylee will be fine, too. Remember that. She's strong and together, the two of you are invincible."

Nodding once with a small smile on his haggard features, Simon pressed a kiss to her cheek before making his way out of the ambulance and across the landing platform. River watched him go, taking a few steps as if to follow and stopping as the night skyline of Sihnon overwhelmed her. It was so beautiful here.

"River!"

Focusing her attention back towards the hospital, she smiled, big and bright as she made out Rafe's form moving towards her. Running the last few steps to meet him, River folded herself into his embrace, more than glad for not only his presence, but his warmth and love. Both washed over and through her, helping to heal the small tear in her soul that had been present since she'd asked Simon for help. She wanted help, but she knew it would be hard – and asking had meant admitting she was still not right.

"Are you okay?" Rafe asked hurriedly, completely oblivious to her internal musings.

"Yes, I'm fine," she assured, trying to hold him tighter, but failing to do so as he pushed her away from him, running concerned eyes over her form. Sighing, she allowed him his inspection, going so far as to actually step out of his arms and twirl around in a circle. "See?" she asked, her face still lit by that incomparable smile. "Fine."

"Oh, thank God," Rafe breathed, again pulling her tightly to him. "Next time you're gonna go off an' save a whole bunch o' folk, I'm comin' too, dong ma?"

Smiling at his concern, River nodded, but remained silent. As minutes passed, she felt Kaylee's sadness spike and knew that she had learned the bad news. Leaning away from him, she glanced around Rafe's shoulder making out the distant forms of her brother and his wife in the waiting room, surrounded by family. Eyes filling with unshed tears for her friend, River let out a heavy sigh.

"Bao bei, what is it?" Rafe questioned softly, following her gaze. Not understanding, he looked back to River for an explanation.

"Kaylee's father," she said quietly, still unable to meet his eyes. "She knows he's dead."

"Wo de tian a," Rafe murmured. Looking back to their extended family inside, he asked her, "Do you want to go in? Simon could probably use some support right about now."

Smiling at his thoughtfulness, River gazed up at him with large, trusting eyes. "You don't mind?" she asked, wiping hurriedly at a few of her fallen tears.

"Of course not," Rafe assured, wrapping his arm about her shoulders and guiding her back inside. "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't lookin' forward to gettin' you to myself for a bit, but …" The statement trailed off as River giggled at his tease. Pausing right before they were about to head inside, Rafe turned again to face her, his hands coming up to rest on her cheeks. Holding her gaze intently, he said quietly, "Family's important. I know that. An' I don't ever want you to think I won't understand."

Smiling wider, River pushed herself up on her tiptoes and kissed him, long and deep. With her arms winding around his neck, she cupped the back of his head in one of her delicate palms and pulled herself flush to him, feeling all the glorious sensations of two bodies pressed together. The love and passion and care that bled from his lips, from his body into River's, caused her to tremble with delight. She knew in that instant that asking Simon to again look for a cure for her had been the right decision.

Forced apart by a need for air, Rafe was panting quietly as he whispered, "Wow, I think I'm gonna be very understandin' from now on."

Smiling at him, River swatted his arm playfully before linking her hand into his. "Come on. Our family needs us."

xoxoxoxo


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

xoxoxoxo

Simon caught sight of his parents through the glass partition and tensed. Looking across the room to his sister, he saw she had already made eye contact with them. As she leaned in to whisper something to Rafe, Simon did the same for his wife.

She was sniffling softly, her head resting on her mother's shoulder as the older woman ran a soothing hand over her arm. Reaching for her hand, Simon squeezed it gently while pressing a kiss to her cheek. "I'll be right back," he whispered, not at all surprised when she did not acknowledge him. Ellie instead gave him a slight nod of encouragement and Simon rose swiftly, following his sister out into the hall.

"Oh, Simon," Regan breathed, moving to embrace him. Noting the sling now holding his left arm to support his injured shoulder, she patted his chest gently, fighting back tears. "Thank God you're all right." Pausing as River stepped forward and linked her hand into her brother's, Regan amended, "Both of you. I'm so relieved you're both back safe."

"How is Kaylee?" Gabriel asked, his gaze straying to the scene in the room beyond before returning to Simon. He could see the strain and exhaustion in his son's eyes, in the way he now stood, slouching slightly as if the act of standing up straight would take energy he did not have.

Rubbing his hand along the back of his neck, Simon sighed heavily before answering. "Not good. She's taking this extremely hard," he added, casting a glance back to her. His heart beat sharply at the pained look on her features. Overwhelmed with an irresistible urge to get back to her side, he said hurriedly, "I'm glad you came, but I really should-"

"Of course, son," Gabriel interrupted, squeezing his arm. "We just wanted to let you know we're here if you need us."

Nodding grimly, Simon spared his mother a kiss to the cheek while squeezing his father's shoulder before hurrying back to his new bride.

River watched him go, her eyes misting slightly at the despair he was trying so hard to mask. Looking back to her parents, she smiled encouragingly and said, "It was good of you to come. It means a lot to him. And to me."

With barely any hesitation, Regan lifted a hand and brushed some of River's hair behind her ear. Resting her palm against her cheek, Regan told her, "We love you both, River. There isn't anywhere else we'd rather be."

River could read the trepidation from both of her parents and felt more sadness cloud her heart. They were trying to forget what they'd heard all those months ago, had been trying to ignore the knowledge that their daughter was a trained assassin since they'd heard the news. Clearing her throat, she told them, "I know I'm not the daughter you wanted back."

Sharing dismayed expressions, Regan and Gabriel held the look for a minute. "River, sweetheart, that's not true," Regan sputtered, her cheeks blushing slightly at the implication of her words.

Frowning slightly, River shook her head. "Yes, it is. But I understand. I do, but it's all right, because Simon's going to fix it."

"Fix what River?" Gabriel asked guardedly, taking a cautious step forward and resting a hand to her shoulder.

Smiling brightly, she told them happily, "Me. He's going to make me not crazy. Take the killer away."

Inhaling sharply, Regan pulled her daughter into a tight embrace, stroking her silky hair. "River, there's nothing to fix. Your father and I … Maybe we didn't take the news of what precisely the Academy had done to you all that well. But we still love you, River." Leaning away, she met her daughter's huge brown eyes. "You're still our little girl."

With a condescension borne from always knowing what everyone else was thinking, River disagreed. "I know you want to believe that," she explained, holding her mother's gaze before turning to her father. "But it isn't true. You can't forget what we told you, just as I can't forget what I did."

Gabriel's jaw set, the muscle in his cheek twitching in an expression so reminiscent of Simon she had to smile at the familiarity. He was contemplating her words, trying to come up with a denial that could ring true, even to her. But she knew he wouldn't. "River, we would never …" Unable to think of anything, Gabriel simply shared a look with his wife, before turning back to his little girl. "We'll be back in a few hours. There are some arrangements we'd like to make for your brother and Kaylee's family. Well, all of you, really."

Nodding, River gave him a quick hug, imparting one to her mother as well, before stepping back to head inside. "I'll get better, you'll see," she reaffirmed, watching as both her parents' faces paled at her words. "See you soon."

Turning, she used every bit of control she'd ever learned to keep the sadness the two adults were practically shouting out of her mind. She had enough pain and grief to deal with.

xoxoxoxo

Inara's mouth was dry and she felt the deep need to clear her throat. As her eyelids fluttered open, bringing the white room into focus, she glanced about, catching sight of Mal's roguish grin. "Welcome back," he murmured, pressing a kiss to her hand as he held it between his own.

Recognizing her surroundings, she asked, "What happened?"

Frowning softly, Mal ran his hand down her cheek and asked, "You don't remember?"

Shaking her head once, Inara coughed slightly, the dryness in her throat forcing a tickle to the surface. Mal handed her a cup of water, supporting the back of her head as she drank. Moving her arms, she felt the pull of an IV and grimaced at the sight of the small tube attached to the inside of her elbow. Once she'd taken a few sips and was again settled against the pillows, she asked, "Mal, what's going on?"

About to answer, he was interrupted as Doctor Chen, Kaylee's doctor if she remembered correctly, entered the room, chart in hand. "Ah, Miss Serra," she said in greeting, stepping around to Inara's other side. "Good to see you awake."

Her brow creasing in confusion, Inara questioned, "What's going on?"

"Well, you fainted," the doctor reported, tucking the chart under her arm. Placing her stethoscope in her ears, she listened quickly to Inara's heart rate. Taking her pulse, she added, "And I'd guess that you've been having a hard time sleeping lately."

Blushing furiously, Inara's gaze fell to her lap. "Well, yes. Things have been a bit stressful."

"Hmm," the doctor murmured, noting her recent vitals before again looking to Inara. Her gaze was a mixture of teasing and scolding and Inara had the distinct impression there was a joke brewing and she didn't know the punchline. "And you've been having trouble keeping food down?"

Nodding once, Inara answered, "Yes, my stomach's been upset. I assumed I caught some sort of bug."

Grinning, Doctor Chen told her, "No, Inara. It's not a bug." Glancing quickly to Mal, whose face was covered in the sloppiest smile she had ever seen, Chen looked back to her patient, and said, "You're pregnant."

Eyes widening, Inara stared at the doctor, uncomprehending. "I'm what?" she stammered.

"Pregnant," the doctor confirmed. "I'd say about ten weeks. We'll know more once a few more test results come back. I'm going to keep you here for a few hours at least. Get you rehydrated. After that, you'll be free to go home. You're just going to need to take better care of yourself." Smiling again, the woman looked to Mal whose eyes had not wavered from Inara's face and then took her leave. "I'll be back in a bit to check on you."

The door shut behind her and Inara found herself now staring at the empty space the doctor had occupied. She couldn't be pregnant – that just … She and Mal were careful, weren't they? How could … Dropping her head back against her pillow, she closed her eyes and murmured an inaudible prayer to Buddha.

Clearing his throat, Mal tried not to panic at her underwhelming reaction. "Uh, 'Nara?"

Snapping her eyes open, Inara met his hesitant gaze. Smiling wearily, she asked, "Yes?"

Swallowing thickly, Mal squeezed her hand gently in his, and forced the words out. "How're ya feelin'? 'Bout all o' this?"

In truth, Inara had no idea how she felt. But what she feared more was Mal's reaction. The Reaver battle notwithstanding, she had never been more frightened in her life, but as she met Mal's wide-eyed gaze, she wondered if the anticipation of his reaction to the news might just kill her; which she supposed was exactly how he felt too. Unable to look at him for a minute longer, she stared at her lap and murmured, "I don't know. How do you feel?"

Frowning softly, Mal waited a moment. _It was now or never, Reynolds_. "Are you kiddin'? I'm thrilled."

Meeting his happy gaze, Inara's eyes widened even further. He really was – she could see it in his face, in that goofy grin she had come to recognize as his reaction to pure, unadulterated joy. Inhaling a breath, she murmured, "You are, aren't you?"

"O' course I am, ai ren," he murmured, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to her cheek. "But only if you are."

Nodding, Inara shifted slightly to face him and said earnestly, "I love you, Mal. And I want to have children with you." Taking his hand, she placed it against her still flat stomach and murmured, "And now we are."

A lump suddenly wedged itself in his throat and Mal found it hard to breathe for a moment. He was going to be a father – him, Malcolm Reynolds. Reaching for Inara, he hugged her tightly and she returned the embrace. The last few months had been so hard; Inara hoped that maybe now they might be able to enjoy their lives, might have the time to stop and marvel at the new life they had created.

His cheek resting against her soft hair, Mal whispered, "I know our baby won't replace the one you lost."

Stiffening in his hold, Inara didn't pull away, but her voice dropped to a whisper. "What?"

Leaning back, Mal held her at arm's length and met her deep, brown eyes. "Your ma told me, 'bout your son." He searched her face for some reaction and felt his heart thud against his rib cage as her features paled. "She was worried 'bout you. She wanted me to know. Wanted to make sure you was all right."

"So, you know?" she murmured, wishing her voice wasn't shaking so noticeably.

Resting a hand to her cheek, Mal nodded. "Yeah, darlin', I know."

Nodding resolutely, Inara mulled over this new development. "I'm sorry."

Puzzled, Mal asked, "For what?"

"Not telling you," she hurried to explain. Cheeks flaming as she felt her embarrassment skyrocket, she added, "I wanted to, but then everything happened with Kaylee's family and you got hurt and I-"

Pressing a finger to her lips, Mal stilled the rest of the statement. "'Nara, I ain't mad."

Frowning, she found herself unable to believe him. "You're not?"

Shaking his head once, Mal answered, "No, I'm not."

Her frown deepening, Inara didn't know why she felt the need to disagree with him. "Well, you should be." As his expression turned from concerned to puzzled, she continued. "I kept it from you, Mal. After you expressly told me not to keep looking. I even went so far as to volunteer at the orphanage so I could get access to the records I'd need. You should be furious."

Shrugging, Mal told her, "Well, I ain't."

Eyes narrowing, Inara challenged, "Why? Because I'm pregnant? Because upsetting me won't be good for the baby?"

"Well, yeah, maybe." Mal wondered when he'd become the bad guy in this scenario. He was trying to do the right thing, be supportive and loving and all o' that. Why was Inara fighting him so hard? "What s'matter with that?"

"Nothing, I guess. Except that it's unbelievably patronizing." Inara's voice rose in volume going a little shrill on the last word and Mal flinched at the noise.

More than confused at her anger, Mal stared hard for a moment and then asked, "Is this one o' them mood swings I heard about?"

Growling in frustration, Inara reached for her pillow and hit him with it, as hard as she could. It didn't hurt, but it conveyed her frustration. Blocking her hit with his arms, Mal called, "Hey! What in the ruttin' hell is that for?"

"For being you," Inara shot back in a huff. Resettling her pillow behind her, she beat it a few times with her small fists and Mal simply sat back and observed.

Running a hand through his hair, he waited until she'd sat back and then asked, "So, let me get this straight. You want me to be mad at you?"

"I want you to react as if I wasn't pregnant, Mal," Inara explained, trying to take the edge out of her voice. She knew, somewhere in her hormonal mind, she was acting irrationally, but the knowledge alone could not stymie the behavior. "I want you to realize that I'm pregnant. I'm not dying. If you're mad, it's okay. Something tells me we're both going to be plenty mad at each other throughout the rest of our lives."

Frowning, Mal sat back heavily and stared. He understood what Inara was saying and he was more than aware that his actions at times, especially towards the women on his boat, could be construed as ridiculously overprotective. But Inara was pregnant, gorramit, with his kid! That had to change the landscape just a bit.

Pursing his lips, he made a decision. "All right, fine," he admitted, letting out a sigh. "You wanna know how I felt when your ma told me what you'd found?" She nodded and he continued. "I was mad, you're right. I was mad that you'd go behind my back an' that you'd keep it from me."

It was as she suspected, but it still stung. Inara dropped her eyes from his, afraid for him to see how upset she was.

"But 'Nara, I ain't never been mad because I don't think you deserve to know," he added softly, waiting until she was again looking at him before continuing. "The fact is, that baby an' his pa, they're a part o' you an' I-"

"It's nothing you have to compete with, Mal," she interrupted softly. "My life would _have_ been different if Jeremiah hadn't left, if I hadn't had to give up my son," she admitted, swallowing hard as old memories resurfaced. "And I will always miss that little boy because he was a part of me."

Mal felt his throat constricting with emotion, but with practiced ease, he kept it at bay and continued to listen.

"But Mal, my life is with you now." Smiling softly as her eyes watered, Inara reached for his hand and squeezed it gently. "And our life together, it's more than I could have ever dreamed all those years ago. I was in love with Jeremiah back then, but I was a child. I knew so little of the world, the 'verse, what people were capable of, what I was capable of. And despite all the pain and heartache it took me, took us, to get to this place, I wouldn't trade it for anything."

Smiling, Mal took both of her hands in his and asked sheepishly, "Yeah?"

Her smile deepening, Inara rested her forehead against his and whispered, "Yeah."

Silence filled the room, the only sound Mal and Inara's mingled breathing. Finally, Inara ran the pads of her fingers down his stubble covered cheek and murmured, "We're going to be parents, Mal."

Grinning wide, he told her, "I know. How 'bout that?"

"This changes things, you know?" Inara couldn't help that she still felt a bit of apprehension. Pulling back, she met his blue-eyed gaze, biting her lower lip in hesitation. "I mean, really changes them."

Mal could read her fear and he felt compelled to ease it. Lifting first one of her hands and the other to his mouth, he kissed them both gently, noting how Inara's eyes never left his face. Finally, he rose, motioning for her to scoot over on the hospital bed. She did as she was told, her back stiff with anxiety as he still hadn't admitted just how drastically different their lives would now be.

Facing her, an arm around her shoulders, Mal smiled wide. "I'll let you in on a little secret, 'Nara," he whispered, pressing a kiss to her temple. His lips by her ear, he murmured, "I've been dyin' for a change."

Giggling at her own nerves and his playful tone, Inara nestled into his side, her hand resting over his heart the other lying gently against her belly. She was going to be a mother and she was convinced her baby had the best father.

xoxoxoxo

Eli found Simon, Kaylee and their large family in the waiting room. Catching Simon's eye, he immediately went to the younger man's side. Kneeling before Kaylee, Simon and her mother, Eli rested a light hand to Kaylee's knee. "I'm so sorry, Kaylee."

Smiling lightly, Kaylee nodded, squeezing his hand. "I know. Thanks, doc."

Offering her another small smile of encouragement, Eli nodded respectively towards her mother and then looked to Simon. "All of the family members have been checked out. You all can go home now."

Nodding, Simon turned to Kaylee. "Are you ready?"

"I want to stay with mama," Kaylee told him, gripping her mother's hand tightly. Looking over Simon's shoulder, she met Marty's eyes and added, "And I think Marty an' Walt an' Michael should come with us too."

Frowning softly, Simon told her, "Bao bei, I don't think we've got enough room."

"Yes, you do."

Looking up sharply, Simon caught sight of his father and mother, both standing a bit uncertainly before him. Eli rose, giving Gabriel a slight nod which the other man returned. Handing Simon a card key and data sheet, Gabriel explained. "Your mother and I, we took the liberty of renting a large estate for you." Glancing about the room, he raised his voice, lifting his arms to encompass them all. "For all of you, actually."

Looking back to Simon, he lowered his voice again. "There's more than enough space for all of Kaylee's family and the crew. We've also arranged for a maid, cook and butler."

Regan stepped forward, sitting beside Ellie and looking to Kaylee's shocked face. "I went over to your apartment this morning and packed some of your things. The bags are waiting for you at the house." Meeting Ellie's wide-eyed gaze, she added, "We've also had a variety of clothes for all of you sent over. The closets should be full upon your arrival. Please, help yourself to anything."

"And I'll send a nurse by," Eli interjected. As Simon opened his mouth to protest, the older doctor countered, "You can't possibly look after all these people by yourself. They'll need to be monitored for just a few more days. And you need rest."

Simon opened and closed his mouth soundlessly a few times, truly at a loss. Looking to Kaylee he saw the same dumbfounded expression reflected back at him. Rising, he took Kaylee's hand and helped her to her feet. Moving to hug his father as she hugged his mother, Simon murmured, "I don't know how to thank you. This is unbelievably generous."

"We'd do more if we could, son," Gabriel answered, for once feeling no shame in holding his little boy in a tight embrace. "I'm sorry that you both have to go through this."

"We'll be okay, Gabriel," Kaylee told him quietly, causing the two men to break apart and regard her. She was standing beside Regan with a look of pure resolution on her face. "Us Fryes are a strong lot."

"And so are the Tams," River interjected, moving to stand beside her father, Rafe trailing behind her. Holding her father's hand, she told him, "Thank you."

Pressing a kiss to her forehead, Gabriel nodded and then looked to Ellie. "If you need anything else while you and your family are on Sihnon, please don't hesitate to ask."

Ellie nodded and then pulled herself to her feet, taking the hand Kaylee offered. "Mister Tam," she began, only stopping when Gabriel insisted she call him by his first name. Smiling, she started again. "Gabriel, Regan. I've only known your son for a bit o' time, but I've always been impressed by his capacity to love. Especially when it came to my baby girl." Kaylee blushed as did Simon, but Ellie continued. "And I knew from the first time I spoke with him, he must come from good stock. An' I was right."

Looking to her son, Marty stepped forward and placed a reassuring arm around her shoulders. "My family an' I, we don't like relyin' on the charity o' others, but-"

"It's not charity, dear," Regan told her gently, resting a hand to her arm. "We're family. Helping each other is what families do."

Blinking back fresh tears, Ellie nodded. "Well, I guess you are right about that." Reaching for each of their hands, she squeezed tightly and said, "I certainly hope we never have to return the favor, but please know that if our positions were reversed, I'd do everything I could to help you as well."

Nodding, Gabriel told her, "We do know that, Mrs. Frye."

"Ellie, please," she corrected, a smile almost as big as Kaylee's lighting her features.

"Ellie, of course," Gabriel acknowledged. Stepping forward he pressed a kiss to her cheek and told her, "Why don't you take your family home now? There are taxis waiting outside."

Kaylee, Simon, River and Rafe watched as the Fryes filed out of the room, their faces drawn. Ellie led the way, of course, her three sons surrounding her like a fortress of protection. Once they'd emptied the room, Simon looked back to his parents. "This is really … I'll pay you back."

Shaking his head, Gabriel told him, "It's not necessary, Simon. I wasn't just talking before. We are all family." Looking to his wife, he reached for her hand and returned the soft smile she favored him with. "I think this is the least we can do."

Kaylee hugged Gabriel then, while Simon hugged his mother and then it was River's turn. "Please come by an' have dinner with us in a couple o' nights," Kaylee begged, her fingers firmly intertwined with Simon's. "I know my mama. She's gonna want to be doin' somethin' to stay busy an' cookin' has always worked before."

Smiling, Regan nodded. "We'd love to, dear. You just call us and let us know when."

Nodding, the young woman looked to her new husband, raising her eyebrows almost imperceptibly. Guessing at her silent meaning, he cleared his throat and looked back to his parents. "Uh, we also wanted to tell that, well … We got married."

If Regan or Gabriel were surprised, it didn't show. Instead, they hugged each of them, murmuring words of congratulations and well wishes. More than surprised by their reaction, Simon questioned, "You're not angry?"

Eli, who was still in the room, albeit across the way from the family, smiled softly as Regan turned to look at him. Glancing back to her son, the woman answered, "Your father and I are more than aware that there are more important things in this 'verse besides grand, lavish weddings. We would, of course, have loved to be there, but-"

"But we are more than glad that the two of you are happy." Gabriel smiled benevolently on them both, before looking to River and adding, "That all three of you are happy."

She returned his smile, knowing he was trying to convince her of his acceptance of the woman she'd become, but River could see inside his heart and mind. He had not accepted anything.

Rafe and River took their leave once Regan and Gabriel had departed, finding Jayne, Zoe, the Captain and Inara and letting them know of their new accommodations. As Kaylee and Simon traveled down in the lift to the waiting taxis, Simon watched his wife carefully, noting the tight look of tension that strained her face. As she released a heavy sigh, Simon wrapped an arm around her waist. "It's going to be okay."

Smiling sadly, she turned to him, pressing a chaste kiss to his mouth. "I know," she murmured as the doors swished open and they were again confronted with her large family and their grief.

xoxoxoxo


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

xoxoxoxo

Everyone was finally settled in for the night and for the first time in a little over two months Simon allowed himself a moment of peace. Leaning heavily on the wall beside the door to his and Kaylee's bedroom, he closed his eyes, tipping his head back against the wall as he let out a sigh.

"You're doing good."

Not bothering to turn and face his impromptu cheerleader, Simon murmured, "You should be in bed, mei mei."

Standing before him, River cocked her head to one side and challenged, "You should be too."

Chuckling, Simon finally opened his eyes to regard her. "Well, you've got me there." Stepping forward he embraced her tightly and River thankfully sank into his arms. Her mind was pounding with the grief of everyone in the house and Simon's presence still had a calming effect on her. Although at the moment, his own hurt was more problematic than usual.

Pushing away from him, she turned him towards the nearby door, and ordered, "Bed. Time for sleep."

Squeezing her hand, Simon told her, "Love you."

Smiling she murmured, "Love you," watching as he entered the bedroom.

Waiting until he had shut the door, River padded away quickly, heading in the opposite direction of her own quarters. She and Rafe had been given separate rooms. At first, she had thought maybe it was a good thing, but as her head continued to ache with the powerful emotions of everyone around her, River felt a deep need for some peace. The type of peace she normally found with Rafe.

Reaching his door, she listened for a moment. There was a thin strip of light visible at the base of the door, so River simply knocked quietly, waiting with one hand rubbing at her temple to try and ease some of the pressure. Inhaling sharply as she felt a sharp spike of sadness from halfway across the house, she squeezed her eyes shut, her brow furrowing against the uncomfortable feeling.

It was at that moment that Rafe opened the door. "Bao bei?" he asked, moving forward to wrap his arms around her waist. "You all right?"

"It hurts," she moaned, sighing heavily and leaning against his warm, bare chest.

Smoothing a hand through her hair, Rafe rested his chin against the top of her head, holding her for a moment as she took in a few deep breaths. "It's bad, huh?" he whispered finally, guiding her into the room and shutting the door.

Nodding, River made her way to the bed and sat on its edge. Still rubbing at her temples, she tried to explain. "Everyone is grieving and it makes my stomach turn and my head hurt." Lifting sad eyes to his face, she told him, "I try to shut it out, but I can't. There's too much."

"I know," he told her softly, sitting beside her. She gratefully leaned into his side as he looped an arm around her shoulders.

"You make it quiet," she whispered, turning her face into his shoulder and breathing deep. "Make it not hurt as much."

"Well, I'm glad I can help," Rafe commented. He wanted so badly to pull her into his lap, ask her to stay and share his bed, but he felt all manner of improper at just the thought. The truth was though, that unless he knew she was all right, lying in his arms and getting the sleep her body desperately needed, he would be tossing and turning for the entire night.

Gazing up to him, River rested a hand to his cheek, tilting his face down to meet hers. "Can I stay?" she whispered, her breath warm against his lips as she leaned forward and kissed him lightly.

Desperately wanting to deepen the kiss, but knowing it wasn't the right time, Rafe answered, "Of course, bao bei." Placing another kiss to the tip of her nose, he reached to pull back the covers. "Let's get settled. It's been a long couple o' …" Frowning, he glanced to her as she rose and dropped her robe on the end of the bed. "Well, months, I guess?"

Smiling softly at his joke, she slid into the soft sheets, waiting for him to join her before settling completely. "I think months is a fair estimation," she murmured, placing a kiss over his heart, before resting her head on his shoulder. It felt like the most natural thing in the world – to fall asleep in the arms of the man she loved, the man who loved her, River wondered if she would ever tire of it.

As Rafe's arms encircled her, his desire to love and protect her washing through her, she suspected not.

xoxoxoxo

Simon squinted in the dim light of the bedroom, trying to get ready for bed without waking Kaylee. He assumed the small mound covered in blankets was her sleeping form and considering the amount of sleep she'd been missing, the last thing he wanted to do was disturb her.

As he almost tripped trying to take off his pants with one hand, he heard her soft voice. "S'okay. I ain't asleep yet."

Grimacing softly, Simon resolutely turned on his bedside lamp. As Kaylee turned to face him, her features pale and expressionless in the yellow light, Simon eased his arm out of the sling. He winced as the movement proved too much and within a second Kaylee was kneeling before him. Scooting to the edge of the bed, she motioned him towards her. "Sweetie, come 'ere."

Simon crossed the last few steps to her and submitted to her gentle hands working to get the sling over his head. As she began to unbutton his shirt, Simon watched her closely. He could only see the top of her head, but the amount of concentration she was showering on what was normally a pretty easy task, conveyed to Simon just how much she was fighting to keep it together.

Covering her hands as they gently gripped the fabric of his shirt, Simon whispered, "Kaylee."

Knowing that looking at him now would simply send her into another fit of tears, Kaylee was unable to meet his gaze. Instead, she released a heavy breath, moving her arms around his waist and resting her head against his undamaged shoulder. "I'm really glad you're back," she murmured, her voice shaky.

Wrapping both arms around her gingerly, Simon pressed a kiss to her hair and rested his cheek on top of her head. "Me too, bao bei." They stayed there for a moment, each doing their best to soak up the warmth and closeness of the other. The weeks they'd been apart felt like an eternity to Simon and while he had already vowed not to be separated from his wife again, it was a promise he gladly reaffirmed in those few moments.

Edging back from him slightly, Kaylee swallowed hard past the lump in her throat and finished undoing his shirt. Slipping the fabric from his shoulders, she pressed a light kiss over his heart, before easing his arms out. Simon smiled softly as she finally lifted those huge green eyes to his face. They were shining with unspent tears, but more than that they were full of gratitude and love and the sight stole Simon's breath. Cupping her cheek with his good hand, he told her firmly, "I love you."

Smiling softly, Kaylee murmured, "I love you, sweetie. Always have, always will."

Simon's smile deepened at her words and he weaved his fingers back through her hair as he brought their mouths together. She kissed him eagerly, her hands holding onto his biceps tightly as if afraid he might disappear. Simon returned her passion with his own, more than willing to convince her through his touch that he was real and whole and staying with her.

Parting for air, Kaylee sat back on her heels and gazed up at him. "Tired?" she asked, tugging on his right hand and getting him to sit beside her.

Sighing heavily, he met her open gaze. "Yes. Honestly, I'm exhausted."

"Me too." Easing the covers back, Kaylee made sure Simon was resting comfortably before reaching across him to turn off his light.

As her hand fell from the switch to rest on his chest, Simon moaned softly. "Although I won't be tired if you keep doing that."

Smiling at him in the moonlight that streamed through the window, Kaylee ran her hand down from his shoulder to his stomach, her grin widening as he inhaled sharply at her touch. Nuzzling his neck, she began kissing and sucking on the flesh there. "What about if I do this?"

Simon inhaled sharply again as her talented tongue and equally talented fingers sent a shiver down his spine. "Not fair," he managed through gritted teeth as her warm mouth moved from his neck up to his ear lobe. Simon wanted desperately to run his fingers through her soft hair and bring her mouth back to his, but with his right arm currently trapped under her body and his left still immobile from the bullet wound, his options were limited.

"Kaylee," he breathed, hoping she'd take the hint.

Mercifully, she lifted her mouth from his ear and brought it to within an inch of his own. "Yes?" she whispered coyly.

Simon didn't bother with an answer. Instead he tilted his head forward slightly bringing his lips back into contact with hers and kissing hard. Kaylee moaned softly into his mouth as his tongue pushed through, finding hers and tangling deliciously. As she shifted her body, her breasts pressing through the thin nightshirt she wore and into his chest, Simon was able to free his right arm. Cradling the back of her head in his palm, he continued to kiss her, pausing for only seconds at a time so they could steal small breaths.

"Oh. My. God." Kaylee breathed between kisses, her lips swelling as Simon's continued to attack them, sending warm bursts of pleasure straight to her nethers. "I missed you, Simon," she continued, tilting her head back and giving him better access to the pulse point on her neck he was currently laving with his tongue.

As his teeth gently sank into her flesh Kaylee let out another moan, her fingers weaving into his short hair, eagerly pressing his mouth tighter to her skin. Simon's right hand had gone wandering as his mouth distracted her and he easily slid it up and under her nightshirt, finding one perfect breast, the nipple already hard. He cupped it for a moment before gently fondling the soft flesh. Simon smiled faintly as his ministrations elicited a small squeak from her. She was adorable in so many ways, beautiful in so many others and perfect all together. And she was his.

The pair of them groped and kissed like teenagers breaking curfew for a long while, neither willing to give into the sleep they both needed. Instead, they wanted to luxuriate in their nearness and their lives. So many other things had fallen apart over the past months – so many other people they cared for had been hurt; it seemed that being together now was the only balm that could soothe their wounded souls.

Simon wished he could make love to his wife and fully show her how alive they both were, but his shoulder would not cooperate. The wound was still sore and while Kaylee tried to avoid it and Simon tried to keep it still, he still felt a few too many stinging pains. After his third hiss through clenched teeth, Kaylee had simply smiled, dropping her mouth back to his neck, kissing lightly a few more times. "S'okay, sweetie. I'd rather have ya healthy."

His right arm now wrapped around her shoulders, he lightly trailed his fingers down her arm as she settled against his chest. "I'd rather _be_ healthy," he affirmed, pressing another kiss into her hair. "Do it right."

Grinning, she teased, "Oh, you always do it right, Simon."

Chuckling softly, Simon nodded. "Whatever you say, bao bei." She pressed her ear eagerly to his chest as the deep rumble of his laugh again echoed through. She could feel the vibration, feel the beat of his heart and it comforted her. With his warmth surrounding her Kaylee felt that things might actually be all right.

"Are you going to be able to sleep?" he whispered, knowing she was still awake.

Nodding once, she tightened the arm she'd placed at his waist. "So long as you're here."

Pressing his lips to her forehead, Simon murmured, "I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

She sighed softly, rubbing her cheek against his firm chest one more time before trying to get some rest. Simon did the same, his repetitive touch serving as the calming agent she needed to finally fall asleep.

xoxoxoxo

"Eli, thanks for coming early."

Simon ushered the man into his temporary home, sidestepping a few of Kaylee's nieces as they ran by. Eli watched with a small grin as Simon moved about with ease around the children, knowing that when the time came he and Kaylee would make exceptional parents.

Gesturing him into the sitting room, Simon made sure it was empty before shutting the doors and offering the man a drink. As Eli made himself comfortable, he asked, "So, is Mrs. Frye cooking enough food to feed an army?"

Grinning, Simon poured two drinks and answered. "More like a platoon." Taking a seat opposite his friend, the two sipped their drinks in silence for a moment. Eli continued to make small talk, guessing by the pale expression on Simon's face that whatever he'd asked him here to discuss was not necessarily pleasant. "Well, Evelyn and the girls are very excited to meet everyone and celebrate."

Nodding, Simon explained, "I wasn't so sure it was a good idea. It didn't feel right, celebrating our marriage so soon after Mr. Frye's death, but-"

"Life goes on, son," Eli interjected, leaning forward to pat Simon lightly on the knee. "No matter how much we throw in its way, life always manages to go on." As Simon smiled and gave a nod of acquiescence, Eli sat back. "Plus something tells me Mrs. Frye would rather things go on as normally as possible."

"She's an amazing woman," Simon said. "Honestly, I can't believe how strong she's been. I've asked Kaylee a few times if her mother's all right, I feel like there's more we should be doing, but she just gives me one of those smiles and says that it's all going to be fine." Sighing, Simon paused to take another sip and then lifted a bemused grin to his visitor. "You know, when she says it, I actually believe it."

"You should," Eli confirmed, draining his glass before continuing. "That young woman is one of the brightest stars in the 'verse. She could tell me up was down and black was white and I'd believe her."

Chuckling, Simon let a silence fall between them again. He hadn't wanted to do this so soon, had wanted to wait a few months, after everything had settled down. But River was leaving in a few days with Serenity. Mal had offered to transport the Fryes back to Harvest and of course, he needed his pilot. And River wanted answers before she left. Answers as to how exactly Simon was going to fix her.

And that meant, Simon had to talk to Eli. The man was a neurosurgeon and a friend and the only person Simon trusted with his precious sister's life.

Swallowing hard, he met Eli's twinkling eyes and told him, "The reason I asked you here is because, well, I guess I need a favor."

His expression softening, Eli nodded. "Anything, son. You know that."

"It's actually not for me, per se," Simon continued. Clearing his throat, he admitted, "It's for my sister, River."

Nodding once, Eli paused for a moment and then said, "She's a remarkable woman, your sister."

Cocking his head to the side, Simon questioned, "Oh?"

"I had the opportunity to speak with her a bit once the crew came back the first time. She cares about you very much."

"And I love her," Simon affirmed hurriedly, as if the man was calling his sibling loyalty into question. Which, of course, he wasn't; it was just Simon's automatic reaction to anything regarding his sister – defend and protect. "For a very long time she was my life and I … We've been through a lot," he finished sheepishly, gazing into his glass as random memories from the past two years flashed through his mind.

Eli watched Simon for a moment, interested in how the boy's gaze had so quickly changed from resolute to forlorn. Sitting forward, his elbows resting on his knees, Eli asked, "Simon, you told me before your sister was special." Simon lifted his eyes to the man's face and nodded, encouraging Eli to continue. "Just how special _is_ special?"

Releasing the breath he'd been holding in a rush, Simon told him, "Very special." As Eli cocked a curious eyebrow, the younger man continued. "River is a reader, a psychic. She feels everything from everyone around her. Sometimes she can control it, but most of the time, she can't."

"Tian xiao de," Eli murmured. "You're serious."

Nodding, Simon said, "There's more. Most of it I can't explain now, we just don't have the time. But River's asked something of me, and I'm going to need your help."

"Of course, Simon." Eli's gaze never wavered. "What can I do?"

xoxoxoxo

Despite the somber mood, it was a fine celebration. Ellie made it known pretty early on, as more people arrived with drawn expressions and sad eyes, that they were here to celebrate Jimmy's life and to acknowledge the happiness of Simon and Kaylee's recent nuptials. She wouldn't stand for anything less and no one was about to disobey her.

Regan and Gabriel were there, doing their best to speak with River, to talk with Rafe, to get to know the rest of the Frye family. Simon watched them with equal parts annoyance and amusement. He was particularly curious as he watched his father and Eli engage in a very deep conversation, their heads bent close together as though sharing the secrets of the 'verse. After idly studying them for a little over an hour, Simon decided things must be fine – after all, no punches had been thrown.

"Havin' fun, husband?"

Kaylee deposited a warm, wet kiss to his cheek as she spun herself into his arms. He gazed at her with a wide smile, delighted to see her smiling back, her cheeks flushed a rosy color from the dancing and the wine. She looked radiant, dressed in the red Mandarin gown she'd worn for the impromptu ceremony.

His arms wrapping about her waist, Simon kissed her, tasting the sweet wine on her lips and smiled. "I'm having a much better time now," he told her once they'd parted. As Kaylee giggled and leaned against him, he asked, "How is your mom?"

Glancing over his shoulder to where her mother stood talking with the Captain and Inara, Kaylee sighed. "I think she's okay. My mama, she's one o' the strongest women I know." Bringing her eyes back to Simon's face, he saw the smallest cloud of sadness pass through them before they were again sparkling green. "She's had her moments, but overall, she's jus' been amazin'."

Simon nuzzled his nose into Kaylee's cheek getting another giggle from her. "You know what?" he whispered, his lips by her ear. Pausing to press a kiss there, he added, "You're amazing."

Sighing with content, Kaylee wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her forehead against his. "I love you, Simon Tam."

"I love you, Kaylee Tam." He kissed her again, deeply, passionately, not bothered that they had an audience or that people started to take notice and clap. There was nothing that could part Simon from his new bride, Kaywinnet Lee Frye Tam – literally, no power in the 'verse.

xoxoxoxo


	25. Epilogue

Epilogue

xoxoxoxo

River's eyes darted eagerly between Eli and Simon as the two men regarded her calmly. Squeezing Simon's hand so tightly her knuckles were white, she asked excitedly, "So? When do we start?"

Receiving a slight nod from Simon, Eli took a seat opposite River and her brother and began to explain. "River, I understand that you're anxious to begin this process, but what you've asked of Simon and what Simon has asked of me is highly complicated. The human brain is delicate, and unlike others," he added darkly, a scowl passing across his face as he thought of the blue-handed hun dans who had messed with the girl in the first place. "I'm not about to open your skull and go playing around. Not until I have a very clear picture of what I'm dealing with and how to proceed."

"Simon can help," River told him, gazing at her brother with such trusting eyes Simon felt his heart lodge in his throat. "He's got scans and records from when he first got me out. He's been studying my brain for almost two years."

"That's true, mei mei," Simon interjected quietly, waiting until she'd looked back at him before continuing. "But I'm not a neurosurgeon. I was doing the best I could under some fairly inopportune circumstances. Eli has a chance to do it right. He …" Simon faltered, wishing he felt gratitude for the older man's willingness to help and not a spark of resentment. It should have been him. It was his job as River's older brother to keep her safe and when he'd failed so spectacularly at that, it was his responsibility to make her whole again. Apparently, he was incapable of either task. Forcing the thoughts from his brain, he cleared his throat and continued. "He has a very real chance of repairing all the Alliance damaged."

River nodded once, reading the guilt radiating off her brother easily. Resting a hand to his cheek, she waited until she had his attention. "Didn't fail me, Simon," she whispered. Her brown eyes, huge and liquid shone on him with such love that he again felt his heart beat sharply against his ribcage as he realized he was going to actually let someone else cut into his sister's brain. "You saved me from that place," River continued, ignoring his newest bout of guilt. "You saved me and loved me and made me whole. You sacrificed everything for me. Asking more of you wasn't right."

As Simon opened his mouth to protest, River looked quickly to Eli and cut him off. "That's why you have to help him and me. You can do it. I know you can."

Sitting back, Eli was astounded by the bond he'd just witnessed. He had always known that Simon and Kaylee shared a deep connection, forged by hardship and joy, but what he'd just seen pass between Simon and his sister was akin to transcendence. And while he was honored to be so trusted by the siblings, he was also slightly unnerved by it as well.

"I will do the very best I can, River," he told her, reaching forward to cup her cheek in his hand. "I promise you that. But we're going to do it right." Pausing, he waited a moment and then outlined the plan he and Simon had devised. "While you're off with the Captain, flying the Fryes back to Harvest, your brother and I are going to study all the charts and test results and record he has. I want to take a look at everything and see what else we can find. Once you're back, I suspect we'll need to do a few more tests for comparisons sake. I'm hoping that in about two to three months we'll have a very clear picture of what our next steps should be."

"Months?" River whispered dejectedly, looking to her brother for confirmation.

Nodding, he affirmed, "Yes, River, months. It'll take you at least one month to get to Harvest and back. And then another month or so to collect and analyze all the data we need." Resting his hand against the top of her head, he said, "We don't want to scramble any of your genius brain."

She smiled softly, trying to appreciate his attempt at humor. She knew both doctors were right. While River would have submitted to a surgery or drug regimen tomorrow, she knew that the work Eli was talking about was highly specialized. And she wanted them to be comfortable with it. Because she had a sneaking suspicion it would be up to her brother and Eli to convince everyone else of her decision.

"Whatever it takes," River told them quietly. Looking to Simon, she added, "We can't tell the others, not yet. Not even Kaylee."

Eyes darting to Eli and back again, Simon questioned, "What? Why?"

"They won't understand, Simon. They'll try to talk me out of it." As he frowned, she countered his protest. "You know they will. Captain Daddy and Kaylee and Rafe – they won't want me to take the risk. So we just have to work quietly for a while." Glancing back to Eli she told him, "Until we know what and how, we have to keep it a secret."

Holding up his hands in a gesture of surrender, Eli said, "You'll get no argument from me. Doctor, patient confidentiality pretty much ties my hands anyway."

Sighing heavily, Simon knew River had just backed him into a corner. "And mine too." As River met his gaze with a big smile, Simon frowned. "I don't like the secrecy, mei mei."

"Just for a bit," she promised. Leaning forward she kissed him on the cheek, before rising and doing the same to a startled Eli. "Thank you," she told him earnestly, meeting his gaze. "Truly, thank you."

Turning one final gaze on her brother, she repeated, "Thank you," before leaving the room.

Both men stared at the door long after she'd gone. Finally, with a sigh, Simon sat back on the couch. "We can't guess at this, Eli," he said tiredly, wishing the thought alone of studying all of River's records didn't exhaust him. "We can't-"

"Don't worry, son," Eli assured him. "I don't play with any of my patient's lives. And that doesn't change just because she's your sister."

Staring at his hands where he'd clasped them in his lap, he muttered, "We'll get it right. We have to."

xoxoxoxo

"Miss Kaylee! You made it!"

Kaylee turned, a smile already on her face as Asher rushed towards her. His cherubic face was flushed red, his eyes bright and shining with joy. She swept the little boy into her arms, swinging him about as he giggled. Pressing a kiss to his hair, she told him, "I missed you, lil' one."

"Miss Kaylee, I got a ma-ma."

Kaylee froze, gently setting the boy back on his feet and kneeling before him. "What's that, sweetie?"

Looking behind him, he waved a small hand at a young couple standing in the doorway uncertainly. Glancing to Kaylee he said, "See? A ma-ma and a da-da. They're gonna take me home."

Kaylee felt a stab of heartache as Asher quickly rushed back to his new parents, tugging on their hands and bringing them closer. She rose slowly, smoothing out her skirt and trying to smile.

"You must be Miss Kaylee?" The new mother said, extending a hand which Kaylee shook. "Asher hasn't been able to stop talking about you."

Kaylee nodded once, ruffling Asher's hair as his wide eyes gazed between her and his new parents. "Well, Asher is a sweet boy and we've become real good friends." Swallowing hard at the sudden lump in her throat, Kaylee addressed the couple. "So, when did y'all decide to adopt?"

"Well, uh, we moved to Sihnon a few months ago for my job," the man explained, clutching his wife's hand tightly in his. "And we, well-"

"I can't have children," the wife admitted quietly. Resting a hand on Asher's shoulder she smiled warmly at him and said, "Once we met Asher though, we knew he was meant to be ours."

Kaylee blinked quickly as the sting of tears bit at her eyes. Tugging on her skirt, Asher waited to get her attention before asking, "Where's Doctor Simon?"

"Oh, he had to work, sweetie," Kaylee explained, kneeling before him again. "I'll tell 'im your good news, 'kay?"

"We should really go. I think there's more paperwork to get through," the new father interrupted.

Gazing up at him, Kaylee nodded. "O' course." Looking back to Asher, she saw the start of tears in his eyes and hugged him quickly.

"It's okay, sweetie," she whispered. "These are good people an' they love you. You're gonna have a family now."

"I love you, Miss Kaylee," he whispered brokenly, before placing a sweet kiss to her cheek.

Squeezing him tighter, Kaylee told him, "You be good now, ya hear? No breakin' any bones."

"Yes, ma'am," he sniffed, his eyes following her as she rose. "I'll see ya again, right?"

"We'll see, sweetie." Kaylee patted his head lightly before he took the hand of his new mother and father and the trio turned, leaving Kaylee alone.

After, she found Simon in the hospital, just finishing his rounds. He greeted her with her favorite swai grin and a kiss. When Kaylee could only manage a weak smile in return, he immediately knew something was wrong. Pulling her into his office, he asked, "Bao bei? What is it?"

Sighing heavily, Kaylee smiled wanly and told him, "Asher got adopted."

Smiling at the good news, Simon squeezed her hands and said, "Well, that's great." When Kaylee's eyes began to water, he amended, "Isn't it?"

Wiping hurriedly at her cheeks, she tried to smile and failed. "No, it is. They seem like really nice folk." Sighing again, Kaylee gave up trying to explain and instead rested her forehead on Simon's shoulder. As his arms encircled her, she added, "It's for the best, I know."

Running his hands soothingly up and down her back, Simon affirmed, "It really is, but I know how much you cared about him."

"He was special," Kaylee admitted, almost reluctantly. She and Simon had had many discussions when she'd first started working at the orphanage about getting too attached. She hated that he was right. Lifting her head from his shoulder, she rested her hands to his cheeks, studying his intense blue eyes as they studied her. "We're gonna have a baby, right?"

Simon reached for one of her hands, kissing her palm before gently massaging it. "Absolutely." Pausing for a moment, he added, "It would be a shame if someone as beautiful as you didn't."

Kaylee grinned and kissed him quickly. "And someone as handsome an' smart as you. Oh, Simon, our kids are gonna be so pretty. And smart-"

"And loved." His words put a wide smile on her face.

"Definitely," she told him, the end of the word stolen away by his lips covering hers in a lingering kiss. As they continued to kiss, Simon murmured against her mouth, "You know what else is great about babies?"

"What?" Kaylee breathed, her knees weakening as Simon's lips worked behind her ear.

Pulling away reluctantly, Simon gave her an almost wicked grin that caused a shiver of lust to race down her spine. Blue eyes twinkling, he told her, "Making them."

Laughing outright at his forwardness, Kaylee wrapped her arms around his neck, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. "Why, Doctor Tam, what are you implyin'?"

"A night of amazing sex with my beautiful wife," he answered unabashedly before kissing her again.

As more minutes passed, Kaylee finally managed to pull away. "Well, then what are we waitin' for?"

xoxoxoxo

5


End file.
